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What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?

 
MONSTER

User ID: 2122560
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02/20/2013 01:55 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
sounds like drugs,, but only she will have to decide if she wants to live or die.
KINGDOMS, NATIONS AND KINGS HAVE BEEN BROUGHT DOWN TO THEIR KNEES WITH ONE GLANCE FROM A WOMAN.

I WEAR MY SKIN OF ARMOR SO NO ONE CAN GET IN AND NO ONE CAN GET OUT.

HOW CAN I MOURN YOU, WHEN I HAVE NEVER LET YOU GO, monster 1991-2008 RIP
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 01:55 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Martial Arts! Discipline!
GreadyGeniu$ (OP)

User ID: 25206264
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02/20/2013 01:55 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
If she won't see her problem, her parents and other family members and friends can find supportive groups locally and online. Such as Al-Anon.

Here's a good online supportive site:

[link to www.soberrecovery.com]
 Quoting: Esmee


Thank you very much. We have brought things like this up to her but of course, "She doesnt have a problem" (In her opinion)
GG.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:05 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?

My daughter had depression And was not taking any meds
My daughter was raised in a loving family and had nothing bad happened to her, her childhood was beautiful
My daughter had anxiety and panic attacks
My daughter did crazy things that scared me half to death
She ran away
She flipped a car
She lost most of her friends
She lost her boyfriend
She went to rehab twice
She went to teen challenge for six months
She got saved and believed in Jesus Christ
She got a job
She paid off debt to people she stole from
She came home and lived right
She didn't drink or take any drugs anymore
She was beautiful and I loved her so very much
She was still depressed though
She wrote a note and told me how sorry she was
And then she shot herself in the heart

I don't know anything anymore

I do believe in the Lord and He is my only strength, I would be gone too if it weren't for Him
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


This breaks my heart. Is there ANYTHING you would have done differently in hindsight?


[

I would've gone to doctor visits with her and made sure she got the right medication. My belief system at the time told me that medication was wrong.

I'm pretty sure she had bipolar disorder, I suspected it, But Couldn't comprehend it at the time

I would've made a greater effort to get her out of this environment and into a new environment. At the time I didn't feel it was right to pass her off to friends or family where she would possibly Create havoc with their lives

There are a million ...if I would've only done this
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:06 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
drinking and such usually does denote a more serious problem, could be a simple as a fear of passing into adulthood, not wanting to lose the ability to be irresponsible...as for the whole zombie status she gets when she drinks as well as the kind of loopy behavior that comes with well that could be the clozopane...im assuming that if she is not taking it for a mental disorder reason, she is epileptic? if so that in itself can be troublesome...either way best of luck, feel for ya
GreadyGeniu$ (OP)

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02/20/2013 02:06 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Thank you Dr. Acula hf Sorry I cannot write a PM to you but I had a question. At what point does the person decide they want to change their life and leave their demons in the past? What was it that changed the person into deciding they wanted something more out of life and that they needed to heal and move on? What events or emotions can inspire this change? I need some kind of catalyst to spark the change because she doesnt want it for herself yet, but Im sure one day she will wish she had never gone through this.
GG.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:07 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
It's never too late for an abortion...
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:08 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
oh and so for what to do, yeah sometimes it just people learning the hard way, could go for an intervention of sorts, tell her how much she means to yall might show her she's got people in her corner
GreadyGeniu$ (OP)

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02/20/2013 02:09 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
oh and so for what to do, yeah sometimes it just people learning the hard way, could go for an intervention of sorts, tell her how much she means to yall might show her she's got people in her corner
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20056488

She does know this, and it is of no importance to her because she has always had it. She is completely selfish and self centered right now, our thoughts and feelings are unheard.
GG.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:13 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Have her do marijuana instead. It could be vaporized or ingested. The problem is anxiety. She probably has a very strong case of anxiety and the only thing that can help her with the pain is a sedative type drug. She needs to be careful into doing heavy drugs like heroin. In my case, I often feel depressed and with a lot of anxiety if my life is not going alright. To ease the pain I smoke weed. I don't intend to use it for too long though, as it does have its harmful effects but not as bad as alcohol can be. Until my life gets more stabilize I'll be using a crutch that is marijuana, because its bad enough to worry about stuff and its even worse when the anxiety wont let you sleep or function properly.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:15 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


Thank you and everyone else for the advice. Everyone seems to be suggesting that we just need to wait for her to figure it out on her own. This is correct and the same advice I would give if I was asked, but it is sooooo hard to accept this when you love the person and know they have so much potential. Is there anything else to force her into treatment so we dont have to risk her safety/health/life.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


No Alcoholics and Depressives dont cure themselves, im now certain like its obvious with so many she isnt ready for college yet. Its the same with so many people, theyre still too immature. Alot of people dont grow up until theyre older still than even 20, I was a bright idiot in school and shouldnt have started until 3 years later, again this is obvious in many people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34771596


Now wait a minute. Is this about she's in very major peril or is this about disappointment that little ms. perfect wasn't so perfect after all? Because a lot of people drink a LOT at that age. Hell, I was in a booze haze from age 16 to 28 and I am now very successful and all that good stuff. If you really feel her life is at risk, then parents should go to court and get her declared incompetent and take over. If she's just partying and not fulfilling the dreams her parents had for her, they should back off.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31907650


I totally agree with you. I went through my stages of learning things on my own and finding out the hard way at the same age. Sometimes you just have to.. But at the same time I am a male so "preserving innocence" or being victimized in that sense was irrelevant. Yes, of course her parents have high aspirations for her and it is common for people to drink a lot at this age. But when someone has an obvious, full blown addiction to alcohol or any drug, just letting them figure it out on their own is not going to work. Alcohol isnt just going to get old or boring. She is literally going to ruin her life.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


are you a family member or close family friend? An ex bf cuz Im getting some crazy fibes here that do not feel right about your concern.This is her family's problem and they should be the ones handling it.You keep saying her family, her friends wouldnt her friends be your friends too If you are a friend? If your just a busy body who wants to gossip about your friends kid then take that up with them but honestly YOU cant help her only God and herself can.
Balloons

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Denmark
02/20/2013 02:20 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Talk to one of her boyfrends/freinds and tell him to be her -guardian-
 Quoting: Balloons


gemam
Put a lion in a cage for years without food and watch what happens.
Its appetite will of cause grow and grow, and then you point your finger at its hunger?
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:20 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Dont you refer to your children as "your child" no matter how old they are. If your son is 45, he obviously isnt "A CHILD" but he is still "YOUR CHILD" forever. Isnt this correct?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


No, sorry. I do understand what you are saying. It's something that all parents go thru, at some point in their lives. The process of 'letting go'. Letting their 'child' grow up. This means the process between you and him/her, of course. It also means the mental process that you as a parent go thru, and allowing him/her the same mental process of letting go.

Again, I do understand what you are saying. In my mind, my youngest will always be my baby. But he is in his twenties now. Altho my youngest son, he hasn't been 'my child' since he turned 13. I started the 'letting go' process when he really was 'my child', knowing it would be very hard, and it was. It was excruciating to look at him, see in my minds eye 'my baby', yet realize that he was growing into a young man, now a young adult man. He has become A MAN. And I had to allow that. It's what every parent has to go thru, whether they realize it or not.

When he married, I didn't say to his bride, "Be kind to him, he's my child and will always be my child". Nope... I did say to her, "Be kind to him, he's my son and will always be my son".

We have to let our children grow up. The kindest thing we can do for our children is to 'let them go' early on, guide their steps as children/teenagers/young adults.

Letting my sons become the men they are has been the hardest thing for me to do. I only think of them as 'my children' when I look into their eyes and see in their faces the lil ones they used to be. I do that privately, most of the time.

Although I did whisper to my youngest son, while we danced at his wedding... "You'll always be my baby". And he grinned. But whispered back, "Thank you for helping me grow into a man".
GreadyGeniu$ (OP)

User ID: 25206264
United States
02/20/2013 02:23 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


No Alcoholics and Depressives dont cure themselves, im now certain like its obvious with so many she isnt ready for college yet. Its the same with so many people, theyre still too immature. Alot of people dont grow up until theyre older still than even 20, I was a bright idiot in school and shouldnt have started until 3 years later, again this is obvious in many people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34771596


Now wait a minute. Is this about she's in very major peril or is this about disappointment that little ms. perfect wasn't so perfect after all? Because a lot of people drink a LOT at that age. Hell, I was in a booze haze from age 16 to 28 and I am now very successful and all that good stuff. If you really feel her life is at risk, then parents should go to court and get her declared incompetent and take over. If she's just partying and not fulfilling the dreams her parents had for her, they should back off.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31907650


I totally agree with you. I went through my stages of learning things on my own and finding out the hard way at the same age. Sometimes you just have to.. But at the same time I am a male so "preserving innocence" or being victimized in that sense was irrelevant. Yes, of course her parents have high aspirations for her and it is common for people to drink a lot at this age. But when someone has an obvious, full blown addiction to alcohol or any drug, just letting them figure it out on their own is not going to work. Alcohol isnt just going to get old or boring. She is literally going to ruin her life.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


are you a family member or close family friend? An ex bf cuz Im getting some crazy fibes here that do not feel right about your concern.This is her family's problem and they should be the ones handling it.You keep saying her family, her friends wouldnt her friends be your friends too If you are a friend? If your just a busy body who wants to gossip about your friends kid then take that up with them but honestly YOU cant help her only God and herself can.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17687147


She's my little sister.
GG.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11249205
United States
02/20/2013 02:27 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Ok op
There is a YouTube video about a girl who talks about bipolar depression and she can't even talk she uses cards to say what she wants to say you've got to Google it because she said the only thing that helped her was her sister! Maybe you're the one
GreadyGeniu$ (OP)

User ID: 25206264
United States
02/20/2013 02:28 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Dont you refer to your children as "your child" no matter how old they are. If your son is 45, he obviously isnt "A CHILD" but he is still "YOUR CHILD" forever. Isnt this correct?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


No, sorry. I do understand what you are saying. It's something that all parents go thru, at some point in their lives. The process of 'letting go'. Letting their 'child' grow up.

Again, I do understand what you are saying. In my mind, my youngest will always be my baby. But he is in his twenties now. Altho my youngest son, he hasn't been 'my child' since he turned 13. I started the 'letting go' process when he really was 'my child', knowing it would be very hard, and it was. It was excruciating to look at him, see in my minds eye 'my baby', yet realize that he was growing into a young man, now a young adult man. He has become A MAN. And I had to allow that. It's what every parent has to go thru, whether they realize it or not.

When he married, I didn't say to his bride, "Be kind to him, he's my child and will always be my child". Nope... I did say to her, "Be kind to him, he's my son and will always be my son".

We have to let our children grow up. The kindest thing we can do for our children is to 'let them go' early on, guide their steps as children/teenagers/young adults.

Letting my sons become the men they are has been the hardest thing for me to do. I only think of them as 'my children' when I look into their eyes and see in their faces the lil ones they used to be. I do that privately, most of the time.

Although I did whisper to my youngest son, while we danced at his wedding... "You'll always be my baby". And he grinned. But whispered back, "Thank you for helping me grow into a man".
 Quoting: Esmee


You have 3 sons correct? If someone were to ask you how many "kids" or "children" you have, would you correct them and say "I have no children, but I have 3 adult sons" or would you simply say "3". Because I have always referred to someones son or daughter as their child no matter what age..
GG.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:31 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Video her when she is drunk and o longer in control. Talk to her and show her the footage when she sobers up best time is when she wakes up hung over. Sometimes you have to video them to show they get more drunk than they think they do.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:31 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
[link to m.youtube.com]
Found it
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:36 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
You have 3 sons correct? If someone were to ask you how many "kids" or "children" you have, would you correct them and say "I have no children, but I have 3 adult sons" or would you simply say "3". Because I have always referred to someones son or daughter as their child no matter what age..
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Yes, 3 sons. :) If someone asks me how many kids I have, I say I have 3 sons. No, I don't go thru the whole explanation, lol.

It wasn't until it 'clicked' for me that my sons were growing up into men, that I was able not to call them my kids, or refer to them as my kids.

Well.. I'm not saying my way is the only way to do it. I'm just thinking that the 'letting go' process that I had to get thru with my sons, would have been a hella lot harder to do if I was also referring to any of them as my 'child'.
GreadyGeniu$ (OP)

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02/20/2013 02:40 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Video her when she is drunk and o longer in control. Talk to her and show her the footage when she sobers up best time is when she wakes up hung over. Sometimes you have to video them to show they get more drunk than they think they do.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26466047


Yea the faces she makes are crazy.. Just a constant blank stare, then all the sudden she focuses on you and stares super intense, like uncomfortable to make eye contact and her face contorts and she makes a weird, superficial grin. Then off into space and talkin about complete non-sense. I swear someone could think she is possessed. And she wanders around aimlessly like this..
GG.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:41 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
What to do with out-of-control 19 year old child?

The above makes no sense tard.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:42 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
She's my little sister.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


As her older brother, hopefully she will listen to you, even if she hasn't listened to the parents.

.
GreadyGeniu$ (OP)

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02/20/2013 02:45 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
What to do with out-of-control 19 year old child?

The above makes no sense tard.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34797129


Oh god.. I explained why I put it that way a few times but w/e Ill change it for you.
GG.
Anonymous Coward
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Spain
02/20/2013 02:53 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
You said she takes Clonazepam...and binge drinks and becomes a zombie. Meds and alcohol don't mix.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:53 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
If she was younger she could be forced into a rehab program, or if she waits she is going to end up getting arrested which would be good, but is there anything that can be done in the mean time before she ruins her life?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Just wait until she shits out a couple of bastard children.

Mark my words.
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/20/2013 02:53 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Thank you Dr. Acula hf Sorry I cannot write a PM to you but I had a question. At what point does the person decide they want to change their life and leave their demons in the past? What was it that changed the person into deciding they wanted something more out of life and that they needed to heal and move on? What events or emotions can inspire this change? I need some kind of catalyst to spark the change because she doesnt want it for herself yet, but Im sure one day she will wish she had never gone through this.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$




check yo inbox

grinning
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:54 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Its not the alcohol its other problems causing her to do this people often tend to blame alcohol for everything yet its usually just a symptom of something else.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33314705

Drunk driving deaths, family abuse, addiction, yea causes a lot of problems.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 02:55 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
first things first.. you have to stuff her like a christmas ham first and foremost.. now we get to the part about helping save her life... mmmm.. i got nothing for now.. if anything just make her fall in love and show her that there is a reason to live maybe? you seem to be obsessed with her then make a decent woman out of her after you stuff her hard that is..
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/20/2013 02:56 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
What to do with out-of-control 19 year old child?

The above makes no sense tard.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34797129


cos at 19... a person is the farthest thing from an adult you can be. they think they are grown...

"Babies brain and an old mans heart"

this song describes it pretty good... it was my theme song when I was 18/19
thumbs

Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 03:04 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
first things first.. you have to stuff her like a christmas ham first and foremost.. now we get to the part about helping save her life... mmmm.. i got nothing for now.. if anything just make her fall in love and show her that there is a reason to live maybe? you seem to be obsessed with her then make a decent woman out of her after you stuff her hard that is..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30773314


i just read the thread and take back this comment.. man if shes your younger sister you are gonna have to sacrifice your life to save her.. but are you willing to do such a thing? cause some broken things are just not worth fixing if you know what i mean?? either way i suggest you take this one up with the lord..

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