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What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33389306
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02/20/2013 07:42 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Who pays for her alcohol? Who buys it for her? She is underage and can't buy it herself!

That person needs to be out of her life right now.

She needs to go to her parents and tell them that she has been manipulative and lying to them. She needs to beg them to help her stay sober. She needs them to hold her accountable.

If she really wants to get well, she will have to be the one to put forth the effort. If she doesn't care, nothing will help her.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34811888


This is all true. If she had the strength of character to do this, she would have a good prognosis and she could fix all the damage.

It's a gut check. Nobody can make her do it. She'll fail if she doesn't do something like this.
geminilion
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02/20/2013 07:45 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Is she drinking because she is depressed? You need to get her on meds if depression is the cause.

I went through this with my daughter and was stupid and didn't insist on medication. She drank because she didn't like herself. When she drank it felt better for her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


She does take clonazepam.

Speaking of which.. is this a good drug to be on?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Anyone have experience or know anyone taking this?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Google it..look for side effects and experiences from people who use it.
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
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02/20/2013 07:47 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


Yea the faces she makes are crazy.. Just a constant blank stare, then all the sudden she focuses on you and stares super intense, like uncomfortable to make eye contact and her face contorts and she makes a weird, superficial grin. Then off into space and talkin about complete non-sense. I swear someone could think she is possessed. And she wanders around aimlessly like this..
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$

Then it is astral possession, she should seek treatment to fight off these evil beings. These faces are probably from different beings not her. Drugs aren't going to remove them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34494060

Of course what i typed here is complete bullshit to lots of people. I have experienced astral, sleep paralysis, metaphysical feelings, there is more then the physical...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34494060


I dont disagree but It seems to me you are complicating the matter. Are you saying not literarily but roughly that the Devil invaded your mind to make you behave badly, because if you are that may a great cure but Im afraid you did it to yourself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34771596


I've never had this that I know of, but I think that prayer would be a way out of this. Probably the alcohol lowers her psychic barriers and the bad guys get in. God will clean them out if she simply asks.

No churches, no healers needed, it only needs to take five minutes. All she has to do is ask.
CalmShock

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02/20/2013 08:02 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Whatever the catalyst was, nobody really needs to know. The only thing that will help is for her to come to grips with it on her own, if she decides to talk about it, that's her choice.

Nature and animals.

I've been down a few roads myself and I can tell you that an appreciation for nature and the love of an animal can help her. They've even started using animals to reform prisoners which has had an amazing success rate.

Getting into nature will separate her from the negative influences. The fresh air and beauty is therapeutic on its own. I'd recommend a horseback riding trip. People and horses have a strange sort of connection, probably from having relied on each other for so many years. Let her have her drinks on the trip (nobody likes being forced to do anything and forcing her not to might drive her further away) but I'll bet she slows it down herself after a few days.

There are responsibilities that are required when taking care of a horse, as that horse will take care of you on the trail. A bond develops, and anyone that is in pain emotionally is really just searching for that special bond.

Right now her love is alcohol, all she needs is something else to love. Something more rewarding.

The money spent on counseling would be much better spent finding something for her to love. Even a counselor will tell you that they can't help unless the person wants to help themselves.

She'll help herself given the right tools and direction.

Try the trip. Not too short but not too long either.
You want her to want to go back. Long enough to develop a bond but not too long that she gets sick of it... Small doses till she gets hooked (pun intended). Fight addiction with addiction, but in a smarter way.
Patience is a virtue I just can't wait to achieve - CalmShock
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 08:29 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
So I need some help guys.. Need some advice from either parents or people who have gone through this.

The girl is 19 years old, lives at home with her parents, freshman at community college. She has been secretly drinking on an ongoing basis for the last few months. She has a serious alcohol problem, when she drinks she cant stop and becomes in a "zombie" like state, a total mess, you can see it in her eyes more than I have ever seen alcohol affect ANYONE! She has been this way since last summer, when she went off to a university and binge drank for about 2 months straight before the semester started. She didnt go to any classes and her parents had to pull her out since they were paying for the schooling.

Why does alcohol affect her like this? Is it because she established alcoholism over the summer with the binge drinking? Will she always act like this when she drinks?

Anyway, she started attending online college and her parents thought she was making progress. Instead she started isolating herself and secretly drinking in her room all night and sleeping through the days. She was passing her classes so her parents thought she was doing good but really she was just going through a deep depression and escaping by drinking.

Her parents finally caught onto her behavior and confronted her. She locked herself in her room and packed her bags and ran away with no plans. She has been binge drinking since she left and running around barefoot and completely out of her mind. Hanging with a horrible crowd doing who knows what.

She is totally out of control, but is a smart girl with a bright future. I care deeply about this girl and we need to get her into rehab but she will not want to. What can be done?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$



She feels alcohol has an anesthetic effect on whatever emotional pain she has. She has to be willing to help herself.Usually a person has to "hit bottom" before they "get it".

I wish the best for both of you.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 08:30 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


She does take clonazepam.

Speaking of which.. is this a good drug to be on?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Anyone have experience or know anyone taking this?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Well, Wiki says a rare side effect is psychosis and longterm use can cause severe depression and debilitation. Is she on it for seizures of panic disorder? How long has she been taking it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31907650


Anxiety panic attacks. She has been on it for about 6 months since she was pulled from ASU.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$



The term "panic attack" sounds random and somewhat harmless but having suffered from them for many years prior to the "label" being given, I can assure you it is hell on earth for the "victim".

You feel absolutely helpless and it is near impossible to interact with people. I have never been a drinker but I can absolutely see where medicating with alcohol would be a natural course of action.

Just going through the very mundane acts of life become so overwhelming that suicide seems a viable option.

I am going to take a giant leap here and assume she is your daughter. If so, why the need to hide it? Perhaps your nic and avatar are a clue into her mindset as well?

Look at the world these young people are growing up in. Everyone who is supposed to represent honor, dignity, morals etc. are corrupt liars. How can they possibly feel they have a bright future when everywhere you look, every aspect of life is in complete chaos and freefall.

I truly don't know how parents make it through life without God. I remember the day I fell on my knees and "gave" my children to the Lord. My son was just getting ready to go into the Air Force at the beginning of the gulf war and my daughter was a spoiled very rebellious young 13 year old. I have never regretted that decision. He has kept His hand on their lives and they both have a healthy fear, respect and love for Him.

I do not know what your spiritual stance is but it is OUR responsibility as parents to set examples for our children. I would suggest you get your life in right standing with the Lord. God is not obligated to hear your prayers let alone act on them without having a personal relationship with you through His Son.

Your response to this reality could prove to be a life or death matter for this girl. I pray you make the right decision, for you will have to live with it for the rest of your life.

I would not exchange the peace and assurance I have KNOWING that God holds every day of my life in His Hands. NOTHING but NOTHING happens to me that He hasn't given His stamp of approval on. And He promises He will NEVER leave. As much as we love and want the absolute best for our children.. He wants this for us times 10,000.

At this time when suicide seems to be the popular way out of lifes hurts, I would not recommend sitting back and letting "nature" take its course.

Prayers for all involved.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 08:44 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?

My daughter had depression And was not taking any meds
My daughter was raised in a loving family and had nothing bad happened to her, her childhood was beautiful
My daughter had anxiety and panic attacks
My daughter did crazy things that scared me half to death
She ran away
She flipped a car
She lost most of her friends
She lost her boyfriend
She went to rehab twice
She went to teen challenge for six months
She got saved and believed in Jesus Christ
She got a job
She paid off debt to people she stole from
She came home and lived right
She didn't drink or take any drugs anymore
She was beautiful and I loved her so very much
She was still depressed though
She wrote a note and told me how sorry she was
And then she shot herself in the heart

I don't know anything anymore

I do believe in the Lord and He is my only strength, I would be gone too if it weren't for Him
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


This breaks my heart. Is there ANYTHING you would have done differently in hindsight?


[

I would've gone to doctor visits with her and made sure she got the right medication. My belief system at the time told me that medication was wrong.

I'm pretty sure she had bipolar disorder, I suspected it, But Couldn't comprehend it at the time

I would've made a greater effort to get her out of this environment and into a new environment. At the time I didn't feel it was right to pass her off to friends or family where she would possibly Create havoc with their lives

There are a million ...if I would've only done this
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$



Oh my sweet sweet sister. I am so very sorry for your unimaginable pain and loss.

Where would we be without the Love from our precious Savior.

Prayers and hugs to you.
rose
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 08:53 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
So I need some help guys.. Need some advice from either parents or people who have gone through this.

The girl is 19 years old, lives at home with her parents, freshman at community college. She has been secretly drinking on an ongoing basis for the last few months. She has a serious alcohol problem, when she drinks she cant stop and becomes in a "zombie" like state, a total mess, you can see it in her eyes more than I have ever seen alcohol affect ANYONE! She has been this way since last summer, when she went off to a university and binge drank for about 2 months straight before the semester started. She didnt go to any classes and her parents had to pull her out since they were paying for the schooling.

Why does alcohol affect her like this? Is it because she established alcoholism over the summer with the binge drinking? Will she always act like this when she drinks?

Anyway, she started attending online college and her parents thought she was making progress. Instead she started isolating herself and secretly drinking in her room all night and sleeping through the days. She was passing her classes so her parents thought she was doing good but really she was just going through a deep depression and escaping by drinking.

Her parents finally caught onto her behavior and confronted her. She locked herself in her room and packed her bags and ran away with no plans. She has been binge drinking since she left and running around barefoot and completely out of her mind. Hanging with a horrible crowd doing who knows what.

She is totally out of control, but is a smart girl with a bright future. I care deeply about this girl and we need to get her into rehab but she will not want to. What can be done?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


she needs a family intervention. she is an addict and it must be dealt with.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 08:56 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Is she drinking because she is depressed? You need to get her on meds if depression is the cause.

I went through this with my daughter and was stupid and didn't insist on medication. She drank because she didn't like herself. When she drank it felt better for her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


I have to agree with the poster. I drank because I was depressed. The alcohol exacerbated the situation. I could always tell when I was depressed because after weeks of not drinking I would feel the need for a drink.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 08:56 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
She is an alcoholic and will never change until she admits it to herself and has the drive to change herself. Nothing anyone can do will change her. She has to want to change that is the only way she will get better.
Anonymous
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02/20/2013 08:59 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Call your local police station and ask where they take people who are drunk and need to dry out. The place they use is a good first step.

Call that place and ask how they work and whether you can bring someone in who is so drunk they can't stand.

This happened to me in Columbus with my brother.

He went to a group that helped him and sent him to MaryHaven and then to a sober house and then out.

He was sober for 9 months after 30 years of drinking.

NOW, this week, he is back to drinking.

He will be dead in a year or homeless again if he doesn't get help.

Good luck!
zenobiaphobia
While the deaf man sings along with the dumb

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02/20/2013 09:10 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
. She has a serious alcohol problem, when she drinks she cant stop and becomes in a "zombie" like state, a total mess, you can see it in her eyes more than I have ever seen alcohol affect ANYONE! She has been this way since last summer, when she went off to a university and binge drank for about 2 months straight before the semester started. She didnt go to any classes and her parents had to pull her out since they were paying for the schooling.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


That certainly sounds like a seizure. Does she have any history of seizures in childhood or of traumatic brain injury? There are many non obvious medical conditions which can lead to self medication with alcohol, and they all need to be ruled out in the case of such abnormal responses. If she is on hormonal birth control, she could've had stroke during her inital binge. Or she could be bipolar,Or she could've been brutally raped her first week of college or this could be adult onset schizophrenia, or just a phase. But somebody needs to properly access her in an inpatient setting.


That's one reason I hate rehab facilities, because, like jails, most places haven't a clue what to do about medical issues. So if you do get hold of her again, for godssakes get her to a real doctor before sticking her in some for profit treatment warehouse. I know a guy who went through court ordered rehab here with a brain tumor the size of an orange. They just keep giving him meds for his nausea and laughing when he ran into the walls.

Remember folks with "anxiety", get tested-this is becoming more common now that they have a simple test for it: [link to www.mayoclinic.com]

Signs and symptoms of pheochromocytomas may include:
High blood pressure
Rapid heart rate
Forceful heartbeat
Profound sweating
Abdominal pain
Sudden-onset headaches — usually severe — of varying duration
Anxiety
Feeling of extreme fright
Pale skin
Weight loss

These signs and symptoms develop because this type of tumor produces an excess of chemical compounds called catecholamines. Excessive secretion of catecholamines — the hormones adrenaline (epinephrine) and noradrenaline (norepinephrine) — can lead to persistent high blood pressure or wild fluctuations in your blood pressure, depending on whether the catecholamines are released continuously or in shorter bursts. The intermittent release of these hormones can cause other symptoms to occur from time to time as well.


Also, diabetes can cause similar symptoms in alcoholics.

Last Edited by zenobiaphobia on 02/20/2013 10:41 AM
One way to time travel:
[link to www.gutenberg.org]
From a universe without The Walker Brothers Thread: What the Hell am I Talking About?
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 09:17 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


Anyone have experience or know anyone taking this?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Well, Wiki says a rare side effect is psychosis and longterm use can cause severe depression and debilitation. Is she on it for seizures of panic disorder? How long has she been taking it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31907650


Anxiety panic attacks. She has been on it for about 6 months since she was pulled from ASU.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$



The term "panic attack" sounds random and somewhat harmless but having suffered from them for many years prior to the "label" being given, I can assure you it is hell on earth for the "victim".

You feel absolutely helpless and it is near impossible to interact with people. I have never been a drinker but I can absolutely see where medicating with alcohol would be a natural course of action.

Just going through the very mundane acts of life become so overwhelming that suicide seems a viable option.

I am going to take a giant leap here and assume she is your daughter. If so, why the need to hide it? Perhaps your nic and avatar are a clue into her mindset as well?

Look at the world these young people are growing up in. Everyone who is supposed to represent honor, dignity, morals etc. are corrupt liars. How can they possibly feel they have a bright future when everywhere you look, every aspect of life is in complete chaos and freefall.

I truly don't know how parents make it through life without God. I remember the day I fell on my knees and "gave" my children to the Lord. My son was just getting ready to go into the Air Force at the beginning of the gulf war and my daughter was a spoiled very rebellious young 13 year old. I have never regretted that decision. He has kept His hand on their lives and they both have a healthy fear, respect and love for Him.

I do not know what your spiritual stance is but it is OUR responsibility as parents to set examples for our children. I would suggest you get your life in right standing with the Lord. God is not obligated to hear your prayers let alone act on them without having a personal relationship with you through His Son.

Your response to this reality could prove to be a life or death matter for this girl. I pray you make the right decision, for you will have to live with it for the rest of your life.

I would not exchange the peace and assurance I have KNOWING that God holds every day of my life in His Hands. NOTHING but NOTHING happens to me that He hasn't given His stamp of approval on. And He promises He will NEVER leave. As much as we love and want the absolute best for our children.. He wants this for us times 10,000.

At this time when suicide seems to be the popular way out of lifes hurts, I would not recommend sitting back and letting "nature" take its course.

Prayers for all involved.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23290196



Sorry, just read through the back posts and it seems she is your sister. My thoughts still hold.

Don't minimize "panic attacks". I fought going on meds for this because I don't like to take anything but my Dr. told me it's no different than a diabetic taking insulin or similar.

He told me panic attacks are chemical inbalances that can be brought on by a series of tramatic events. Whether or not that holds true for her the bottom line is the attacks are real to the person suffering and devastating.

I would most assuredly get her into couseling with others who are suffering the same. No one can even begin to understand unless they have experienced it for themselves.

Also teen challenge is a great place to seek help for someone. Don't let the name fool you, there are people who are in their 40's in this program. It has a fantastic success rate and doesn't cost anything.

Hugs and prayers GG.

P.S. Do NOT let her work this out alone or hit bottom.
Useless Cookie Eater

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02/20/2013 09:21 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
So I need some help guys.. Need some advice from either parents or people who have gone through this.

The girl is 19 years old, lives at home with her parents, freshman at community college. She has been secretly drinking on an ongoing basis for the last few months. She has a serious alcohol problem, when she drinks she cant stop and becomes in a "zombie" like state, a total mess, you can see it in her eyes more than I have ever seen alcohol affect ANYONE! She has been this way since last summer, when she went off to a university and binge drank for about 2 months straight before the semester started. She didnt go to any classes and her parents had to pull her out since they were paying for the schooling.

Why does alcohol affect her like this? Is it because she established alcoholism over the summer with the binge drinking? Will she always act like this when she drinks?

Anyway, she started attending online college and her parents thought she was making progress. Instead she started isolating herself and secretly drinking in her room all night and sleeping through the days. She was passing her classes so her parents thought she was doing good but really she was just going through a deep depression and escaping by drinking.

Her parents finally caught onto her behavior and confronted her. She locked herself in her room and packed her bags and ran away with no plans. She has been binge drinking since she left and running around barefoot and completely out of her mind. Hanging with a horrible crowd doing who knows what.

She is totally out of control, but is a smart girl with a bright future. I care deeply about this girl and we need to get her into rehab but she will not want to. What can be done?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


At 19....it's too late for parents to teach her anything now.
.....NOW....she's going to learn life the hard way.

Drinking like this is also GENETIC many times.
You parents should have had a clue WAAAAAAAAAAAAAy before this.

Too late.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 09:39 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
The problem probably stems from the relationship with the father.

The father needs to reestablish the relationship and make her know he cares about her, if there is a problem here.
Anonymous Coward
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Japan
02/20/2013 09:44 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Is she drinking because she is depressed? You need to get her on meds if depression is the cause.

I went through this with my daughter and was stupid and didn't insist on medication. She drank because she didn't like herself. When she drank it felt better for her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


She does take clonazepam.

Speaking of which.. is this a good drug to be on?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Anyone have experience or know anyone taking this?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Google it..look for side effects and experiences from people who use it.
 Quoting: geminilion


The Combination of all --Zepam Drugs, like DiaZepam, Flunitrazepam and Clonazepam is very dangerous and killed countless People already!

And the Combination makes even the hardest Drug User unbelievable Stupid, Sick!

Both Drugs multiply the Effects of each other!!!
Alexander

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02/20/2013 09:52 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
is there anything that can be done in the mean time before
she ruins her life?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Involuntary commitment

but that will remain on her
record as an adult for life
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25021844


So what? If she is out of control and a danger to herself involuntary commitment is the only thing that will help at this stage. Her behavior is screaming for someone to help her and if she can't control herself then that is what involuntary commitment is for. In some areas they do have various intervention programs where she is confronted by family, friends and someone from a program to take her into some type of rehab. The problem is the meds she is on combined with alcohol. She needs medical supervision and most likely needs to get off the meds. Therefore, she needs to detox and also confront her disease (because that is what alcoholism is - a medical condition). It is her responsibility to manage her illness and she needs to learn the coping tools on how to do this. It's unlikely at this stage of the game that she can do this on her own.

Her parents need to talk to the counselor and work up a plan of action.

Last Edited by Alexander on 02/20/2013 09:53 AM
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
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Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 09:54 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
buy her some vodka and leave her alone.:-)
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 10:02 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
I have learned from experience, you can't help someone if they are not ready for help. Sad, but true.

Hypnosis and homeopathy also work great for addictions if she does not want to go to rehab, but she would have to want to go see a hypnotist or a homeopathic practitioner. But yet again...you can't help someone who isn't ready to be helped.

Sometimes people have to hit bottom before they see they are in trouble.

And she's young...at 19, people think they are invincible.

You could put her name on the White Light Express prayer list....it's free. Studies have shown that having people pray long distance for others really does work.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 10:05 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Girl doesnt need medication. She sounds normal enough with nagging parents who expect too much. Leave her be...just send messages of love and that you will be there when she's over her shit phase. No more nagging.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 10:07 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
I have learned from experience, you can't help someone if they are not ready for help. Sad, but true.

Hypnosis and homeopathy also work great for addictions if she does not want to go to rehab, but she would have to want to go see a hypnotist or a homeopathic practitioner. But yet again...you can't help someone who isn't ready to be helped.

Sometimes people have to hit bottom before they see they are in trouble.

And she's young...at 19, people think they are invincible.

You could put her name on the White Light Express prayer list....it's free. Studies have shown that having people pray long distance for others really does work.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18771844


PFFFPHt...cant blow a bigger raspberry. That is bullshit. You ng adults dont need God...they need common sense...which will hit in about age 21...when the brain has grown sufficiently.
Anonymous Coward
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02/20/2013 10:22 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
The thing is.....if young people act up and throw away what they have been doing....it is usually a sigh that theyare trying to GROW UP. They cant do that if they stay the same. They need time out from parents. The ONLY time meds are useful is if the child has a mental imbalance...like schitzophrenia. If the child has normal thinking but are sad, grieving, over-worked, stressed, trying to escape from parental control...meds are VERY bad...because it causes imbalance when there was none. If they get hospitalised for this....THAT will follow them around for the rest of their life....with any future jobs/partners etc SO DONT!
zenobiaphobia
While the deaf man sings along with the dumb

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02/20/2013 10:34 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
At 19....it's too late for parents to teach her anything now.
.....NOW....she's going to learn life the hard way.

Drinking like this is also GENETIC many times.
You parents should have had a clue WAAAAAAAAAAAAAy before this.

Too late.
 Quoting: Useless Cookie Eater


That is what makes this look suspicious from a medical aspect-the sudden, intense,onset of out of control drinking without the usual alcoholic spiral. Most kids start by stealing drinks and progress slowly-heck, every person here that drinks can tell you how they started drinking. But a two week blind drunk bender right out of the gate is a bit abnormal.
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From a universe without The Walker Brothers Thread: What the Hell am I Talking About?
Astral Goat
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User ID: 33435073
United States
02/20/2013 10:36 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
She's a goner.

Move on.
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29094041
United States
02/20/2013 10:38 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Is she drinking because she is depressed? You need to get her on meds if depression is the cause.

I went through this with my daughter and was stupid and didn't insist on medication. She drank because she didn't like herself. When she drank it felt better for her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


She does take clonazepam.

Speaking of which.. is this a good drug to be on?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


this ^^ benzodiazepine drug is TOXIC in combination with alcohol, potentially fatal.

also this combo is dangerous because more likely she will make bad decisions that cause her private (hopefully not public) humiliation, and this may also contribute to depression or loss of face--depression.

First, she must choose her poison, alcohol or anxiety meds--not both together!

Then as others are saying, lower the expectations, give her time to wake up--no pressure.

Finally, encourage her to acknowledge she has genetic weakness for alcohol. Such a person has no control when drinking and must totally abstain, even if it means quitting again every day she wakes up.

Best of luck to you. Give her love, and hope.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32915728
United States
02/20/2013 10:45 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Sounds like one of those people who have to hit rock bottom first, and nobody can do anything about what she is doing until she herself wants to help. Legally, no one can do a thing.

Let her hit rock bottom, then try to help her up. Trying to help her now will just be very stressful, costly, and not really help fix the underlying issue.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2219387
United States
02/20/2013 10:48 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
So I need some help guys.. Need some advice from either parents or people who have gone through this.

The girl is 19 years old, lives at home with her parents, freshman at community college. She has been secretly drinking on an ongoing basis for the last few months. She has a serious alcohol problem, when she drinks she cant stop and becomes in a "zombie" like state, a total mess, you can see it in her eyes more than I have ever seen alcohol affect ANYONE! She has been this way since last summer, when she went off to a university and binge drank for about 2 months straight before the semester started. She didnt go to any classes and her parents had to pull her out since they were paying for the schooling.

Why does alcohol affect her like this? Is it because she established alcoholism over the summer with the binge drinking? Will she always act like this when she drinks?

Anyway, she started attending online college and her parents thought she was making progress. Instead she started isolating herself and secretly drinking in her room all night and sleeping through the days. She was passing her classes so her parents thought she was doing good but really she was just going through a deep depression and escaping by drinking.

Her parents finally caught onto her behavior and confronted her. She locked herself in her room and packed her bags and ran away with no plans. She has been binge drinking since she left and running around barefoot and completely out of her mind. Hanging with a horrible crowd doing who knows what.

She is totally out of control, but is a smart girl with a bright future. I care deeply about this girl and we need to get her into rehab but she will not want to. What can be done?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Alanon is all that can be done.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16040708
United States
02/20/2013 11:00 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
In the light of recent events, call anyone except Dr.Drew...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34817033
Netherlands
02/20/2013 11:03 AM
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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Whats the depression about? have you asked her? That would be the first step.
Alexander

User ID: 15635858
United States
02/20/2013 11:21 AM

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Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Depression can be cause by a number of things.

1. genetic - runs in the family

2. child molestation goes un-noticed and unreported as most kids don't say anything

3. it can be unfocused anger turned inward directed against self

4. it can just be the age

5. it can be the result of not successfully making the transition from child to adult

6. it can be the result of drugs or alcohol

7. it can be the result of a relationship gone wrong

8. it can be the result of becoming sexually active prematurely or having multiple partners

9. it can be the result of a food allergy

10. it can be the result of some early or current emotional or physical trauma

11. it can be the result of faulty negative thinking

12. it can be the result of a biochemical brain imbalance

13. it can result from just hanging out with friends who are downers as depression can be transferred from one to another

14. it can be cause by lack of sunlight (seasonal affective disorder SAD) one relative had to sit in front of full spectrum lights 30 minutes every morning because his brain doesn't produce the right chemicals on it's own. The additional light prevents depression.

15. it can be caused by a hormonal imbalance

16, it can be caused by inflamation of the brain or an illness of some nature

It would help to know the cause. When I had a patient like this it helped to do a medical work up first to make sure this isn't the cause followed up by an in-depth personal family history. Depression can also be cured using neurofeedback - www.roshi.com where the glasses flashing lights recalibrate brain waves

Last Edited by Alexander on 02/20/2013 11:22 AM
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
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