Godlike Productions - Discussion Forum
Users Online Now: 2,117 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 511,609
Pageviews Today: 879,135Threads Today: 386Posts Today: 6,013
11:13 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?

 
Chas

User ID: 32761527
United States
02/20/2013 01:26 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
GG look into the Emotion code...I believe there is a thread here on GLP...This is very serious and will not go away...most treatments are like a band-aid...One needs to get to the core...Good luck and my prayers go out to this girl and the family...
 Quoting: Chas


Thank you I will look into this.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


I found this for you...

[link to www.healerslibrary.com]

My wife of 23 years have done this on and off...Recently the wheels came off again...caused havoc...my 19 year old daughter (also bright) might be heading for the same problem...We are in the process of scheduling time with a practitioner for both...rehab after rehab...drug treatments...on and on...it is not easy...Try your best to be supportive...I hope the link works...
Chas
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31038680
United States
02/20/2013 01:27 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Pics
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30397426
United States
02/20/2013 01:28 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


She does take clonazepam.

Speaking of which.. is this a good drug to be on?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Anyone have experience or know anyone taking this?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Well, Wiki says a rare side effect is psychosis and longterm use can cause severe depression and debilitation. Is she on it for seizures of panic disorder? How long has she been taking it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31907650


Anxiety panic attacks. She has been on it for about 6 months since she was pulled from ASU.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Greedy, you do have a problem.. Clonazepam is a bad one. It is for anxiety, but we did it as well as the teens today, trick our doctors into giving it to us. Then we would sell it. What it does is intensify the alcohol. It makes you very zombie like. Much like ghb or date rape drug. You cannot remember anything. We did "blue K cuts". Or smuff cocaine. They were blue pills round with a k cut out in the middle meaning you can see through the pill. We would chop them up and snort them. They were like menthol going into your nose. IT IS VERY EASY TO OVERDOSE ON THESE. T

The half life is very long but the high wears off, so you build up a huge amount of toxins in your blood stream.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31038680
United States
02/20/2013 01:29 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Is she drinking because she is depressed? You need to get her on meds if depression is the cause.

I went through this with my daughter and was stupid and didn't insist on medication. She drank because she didn't like herself. When she drank it felt better for her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


Yeah cuz the pills are way better than the booze. FFS pick
GreadyGeniu$  (OP)

User ID: 25206264
United States
02/20/2013 01:29 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
This is going to sound random.. But the best way to deal with it, is to not deal with it. I grew up in a household where my parents knew everything we did. When I went to college, I drank, did every drug, smoked,partied like a rock star with rock stars... and the more people wanted or tried to make me stop, the harder I pushed.

Now, a decade later, I'm still a rock star but I'm more like Bono than Jagger, minus the hippy crap. I never regret one thing I did, had done to me, or put inside me. They are memories made, but I not reckless. Poking the bear can have devastating effects.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30397426


She also has issues. Her issues could be very profound, so tred lightly. I had issues, that I never shared with anyone. That I delt with personally for many years. I am a very strong person. This is a tricky one, and I hate to tell you... your damned if you do... your damned if you dont.. there is no way to win this one. You need to treat her like a deer in the forest. Let her come to you, and never spook the deer. If you do, you may never see her again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30397426


Thank you and everyone else for the advice. Everyone seems to be suggesting that we just need to wait for her to figure it out on her own. This is correct and the same advice I would give if I was asked, but it is sooooo hard to accept this when you love the person and know they have so much potential. Is there anything else to force her into treatment so we dont have to risk her safety/health/life.
GG.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30397426
United States
02/20/2013 01:30 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


Anyone have experience or know anyone taking this?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Well, Wiki says a rare side effect is psychosis and longterm use can cause severe depression and debilitation. Is she on it for seizures of panic disorder? How long has she been taking it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31907650


Anxiety panic attacks. She has been on it for about 6 months since she was pulled from ASU.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Greedy, you do have a problem.. Clonazepam is a bad one. It is for anxiety, but we did it as well as the teens today, trick our doctors into giving it to us. Then we would sell it. What it does is intensify the alcohol. It makes you very zombie like. Much like ghb or date rape drug. You cannot remember anything. We did "blue K cuts". Or smuff cocaine. They were blue pills round with a k cut out in the middle meaning you can see through the pill. We would chop them up and snort them. They were like menthol going into your nose. IT IS VERY EASY TO OVERDOSE ON THESE. T

The half life is very long but the high wears off, so you build up a huge amount of toxins in your blood stream.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30397426


Meaning, with cocaine or meth, you get high and the half life or the amount of time the drug is in your body is very short, like hours to a day. Barbiturates, which is what Clonazepam is. The half life is very long, like a week. So you take more pills to feel high and over does because the medication is still in your blood but the high has worn off.

Stevie Nix from Fleetwood Mac was addicted to them.. google her and Clonazepam... she talks about how it almost killed her.
GFX guy

User ID: 9776422
United States
02/20/2013 01:31 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
It sounds like she needs a purpose in life...

Does she have any passions or desires to do something she deems meaningful? Boredom can be a hard thing to fight.

Is she studying for something she actually wants to do... or is it just something her parents want her to do?

Perhaps just going through the motions for that "higher-education"?

Good luck!
hf
 Quoting: GFX guy

Thank you.

How can you force a sense of purpose into someones life though that cannot obtain it by themselves?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


That's a good question.

Talking with her? It sounds so simple when you only have to type it.
I guess the other way would be to pay close attention to what gets her attention... Then try to expand on that.

There's something for everyone, ya? You're right though. Finding "that thing" is the hard part.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34771596
United Kingdom
02/20/2013 01:33 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
This is going to sound random.. But the best way to deal with it, is to not deal with it. I grew up in a household where my parents knew everything we did. When I went to college, I drank, did every drug, smoked,partied like a rock star with rock stars... and the more people wanted or tried to make me stop, the harder I pushed.

Now, a decade later, I'm still a rock star but I'm more like Bono than Jagger, minus the hippy crap. I never regret one thing I did, had done to me, or put inside me. They are memories made, but I not reckless. Poking the bear can have devastating effects.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30397426


She also has issues. Her issues could be very profound, so tred lightly. I had issues, that I never shared with anyone. That I delt with personally for many years. I am a very strong person. This is a tricky one, and I hate to tell you... your damned if you do... your damned if you dont.. there is no way to win this one. You need to treat her like a deer in the forest. Let her come to you, and never spook the deer. If you do, you may never see her again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30397426


Thank you and everyone else for the advice. Everyone seems to be suggesting that we just need to wait for her to figure it out on her own. This is correct and the same advice I would give if I was asked, but it is sooooo hard to accept this when you love the person and know they have so much potential. Is there anything else to force her into treatment so we dont have to risk her safety/health/life.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


No Alcoholics and Depressives dont cure themselves, im now certain like its obvious with so many she isnt ready for college yet. Its the same with so many people, theyre still too immature. Alot of people dont grow up until theyre older still than even 20, I was a bright idiot in school and shouldnt have started until 3 years later, again this is obvious in many people.
LSDreamer

User ID: 14896274
Australia
02/20/2013 01:33 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Coming from an ex addict, she will only change if she wants to change. Nobody can force her to. When my dad first caught me smoking pot, he beat the shit out of me, that night I went out and had MDMA for the first time. So the worse thing you can do is be forceful.

Just let her know that there are people who care and want her to change, but ultimately it is up to her.
Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it.
~ Christopher Hitchens.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23766853
United States
02/20/2013 01:34 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
There's no easy answer to this situation. I am the mother of three young adult sons.

First of all, she is not a 'child' at the age of nineteen. In society's viewpoint, she is a 'young adult'. To her parents, she is their 'young adult daughter'. She hasn't been a 'child' since the day she turned 13, when she became a teenager. She's still technically a teenager, yet also a young adult.

She may 'act' like a child, she may be treated like a child by her parents, family, and friends of the family.... however... she is no longer a child. And to think of her as one, and/or to treat her like one, is to enable her to continue acting in childish ways.

If I understand your earlier post correctly, that she's had no discipline in her life, then it seems to me that she may be very spoiled and this could be her 'young adult' way of having a childish major tantrum.

Unfortunately, nothing her parents/family/friends can do for her at this point will work, not until/unless SHE recognizes that she has a problem, that it will continue to ruin her life, and she is READY to turn her life around and get help. No one, absolutely no one, will be able to force her to get the help she needs, until SHE wants that help.

Her parents could continue to try to talk some sense into her, but I doubt she will listen. Most young adults at age 19 think they know more than anyone else.

Very likely, and sadly, the only thing that might get her attention is when SHE sees that her life is falling apart around her. That's usually the only way that some her age are able to apply the brakes and ask for help.

I hope and pray that she doesn't destroy her own life too badly before she gets to that point.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31907650
United States
02/20/2013 01:34 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


I do know this FOR SURE.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Are you her shrink? Of course you don't know that FOR SURE! Stop assuming things just because of what you've "Seen" doesn't mean you know ALL about someone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33314705


Totally agree.My life looked the same way but my mother was the devil behind closed doors.Even if you live in the house with them you cant really know EVERYTHING that goes on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30292703


Her counselor figured there was some zero point for all of this. Some event that caused it. We all sat for weeks trying to figure it out. She was somewhat sheltered, very protected, and had everything she could want with no work for it. Very spoiled, but that does not mean she is destined for failure. Again tho, she was NOT abused. Unless she does not know about it, and in that case I dont think it would affect her today?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Totally random here, but I just watched a crime show, can't remember which one, where a girl goes off the wall and the root cause was being raped while at college. Didn't want to tell her parents, acting out, etc. There's a lot of that going on in college. Maybe that's what set her off on this path?

Fo sho, too...they need to get her off that drug! It would be tough to saddle her with a mental type record for life, but OTOH, I'd rather do that than see one of mine die. If I were these parents, I'd be in court getting her declared incompetent and take it from there. But that's the nuclear option. How does she live, get money? Are they supporting her financially? Because I'd be cutting that shit off pronto and telling her to come home or she's cut off. Friends won't help her, but the risk is she will disappear on the streets.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30292703
United States
02/20/2013 01:35 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


I do know this FOR SURE.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Are you her shrink? Of course you don't know that FOR SURE! Stop assuming things just because of what you've "Seen" doesn't mean you know ALL about someone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33314705


Totally agree.My life looked the same way but my mother was the devil behind closed doors.Even if you live in the house with them you cant really know EVERYTHING that goes on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30292703


Her counselor figured there was some zero point for all of this. Some event that caused it. We all sat for weeks trying to figure it out. She was somewhat sheltered, very protected, and had everything she could want with no work for it. Very spoiled, but that does not mean she is destined for failure. Again tho, she was NOT abused. Unless she does not know about it, and in that case I dont think it would affect her today?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Most of mine was mental abuse and even 30 years later I have yet to discuss it with my therapists of 8 years.
Some perfect parents can really screw you up and its hard to overcome,some never overcome.I saw no good purpose for living and I sure didnt want to be the person she was.Phoney 100%.The bottle was the only way I could escape thinking about it for years.Still think about it but once she died I was able to live easier.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34795895
United States
02/20/2013 01:36 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Is she drinking because she is depressed? You need to get her on meds if depression is the cause.

I went through this with my daughter and was stupid and didn't insist on medication. She drank because she didn't like herself. When she drank it felt better for her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


She does take clonazepam.

Speaking of which.. is this a good drug to be on?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


I had a very good friend who liked to destroy herself with pharmaceuticals. I've seen this particular drug in her collection.

To amplify it with other medications or alcohol can be really destructive. If this girl you know is hitting the bottle hard, she should not be taking pills too.
Watdhel

User ID: 30031502
United States
02/20/2013 01:36 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
I know of a man who lived in the woods as a total alcoholic for years. He had turned down a quarterback position in the NFL. He was the starting quarterback in front of Terry Bradshaw at LA Tech. He was just a drunk living in the woods. He found something he loved doing in those woods as a drunk. You can now see the man on A & E. His name is Phil Roberson. Duck Dynasty

Don't give up hope... prayers!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33309641
Canada
02/20/2013 01:38 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
First off you need to stop referring her as a child. She is spoiled which has very bad results on the child growing up, never spoil your kids for any parents out there, they often turn out to become selfish, and ungrateful and not able to cope in the real world. If you never had to work hard for anything during your young life you never know the basics on how to be responsible in your adult life.

I want to let you know that I do care and feel really bad for your friend, though this seems to be a case of attention seeking or trying to get a high in life that for your friend only alcohol and prescription drugs seem to help. For one thing she should not be on prescription drugs as that is extremely dangerous especially mixing with alcohol. Unfortunately the best advice is already given nobody can help her unless she helps herself. She needs to find a hobby or have some sort of goal in life.

I used to drink a lot during my early twenties was extremely depressed and suffered from anxiety but the reason I drank till I passed out was from the loss of my brother I wanted to escape that pain. But it toke just one day to realize what a wreak I had become and that I no longer wanted this horrible life for myself which was no life at all. She has to make that first move. You can't treat her like a child no longer. I will pray for her and her family.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31907650
United States
02/20/2013 01:38 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
This is going to sound random.. But the best way to deal with it, is to not deal with it. I grew up in a household where my parents knew everything we did. When I went to college, I drank, did every drug, smoked,partied like a rock star with rock stars... and the more people wanted or tried to make me stop, the harder I pushed.

Now, a decade later, I'm still a rock star but I'm more like Bono than Jagger, minus the hippy crap. I never regret one thing I did, had done to me, or put inside me. They are memories made, but I not reckless. Poking the bear can have devastating effects.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30397426


She also has issues. Her issues could be very profound, so tred lightly. I had issues, that I never shared with anyone. That I delt with personally for many years. I am a very strong person. This is a tricky one, and I hate to tell you... your damned if you do... your damned if you dont.. there is no way to win this one. You need to treat her like a deer in the forest. Let her come to you, and never spook the deer. If you do, you may never see her again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30397426


Thank you and everyone else for the advice. Everyone seems to be suggesting that we just need to wait for her to figure it out on her own. This is correct and the same advice I would give if I was asked, but it is sooooo hard to accept this when you love the person and know they have so much potential. Is there anything else to force her into treatment so we dont have to risk her safety/health/life.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


No Alcoholics and Depressives dont cure themselves, im now certain like its obvious with so many she isnt ready for college yet. Its the same with so many people, theyre still too immature. Alot of people dont grow up until theyre older still than even 20, I was a bright idiot in school and shouldnt have started until 3 years later, again this is obvious in many people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34771596


Now wait a minute. Is this about she's in very major peril or is this about disappointment that little ms. perfect wasn't so perfect after all? Because a lot of people drink a LOT at that age. Hell, I was in a booze haze from age 16 to 28 and I am now very successful and all that good stuff. If you really feel her life is at risk, then parents should go to court and get her declared incompetent and take over. If she's just partying and not fulfilling the dreams her parents had for her, they should back off.
GreadyGeniu$  (OP)

User ID: 25206264
United States
02/20/2013 01:42 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
First off you need to stop referring her as a child. She is spoiled which has very bad results on the child growing up, never spoil your kids for any parents out there, they often turn out to become selfish, and ungrateful and not able to cope in the real world. If you never had to work hard for anything during your young life you never know the basics on how to be responsible in your adult life.

I want to let you know that I do care and feel really bad for your friend, though this seems to be a case of attention seeking or trying to get a high in life that for your friend only alcohol and prescription drugs seem to help. For one thing she should not be on prescription drugs as that is extremely dangerous especially mixing with alcohol. Unfortunately the best advice is already given nobody can help her unless she helps herself. She needs to find a hobby or have some sort of goal in life.

I used to drink a lot during my early twenties was extremely depressed and suffered from anxiety but the reason I drank till I passed out was from the loss of my brother I wanted to escape that pain. But it toke just one day to realize what a wreak I had become and that I no longer wanted this horrible life for myself which was no life at all. She has to make that first move. You can't treat her like a child no longer. I will pray for her and her family.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33309641


Dont you refer to your children as "your child" no matter how old they are. If your son is 45, he obviously isnt "A CHILD" but he is still "YOUR CHILD" forever. Isnt this correct?
GG.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11249205
United States
02/20/2013 01:46 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
My daughter had depression And was not taking any meds
My daughter was raised in a loving family and had nothing bad happened to her, her childhood was beautiful
My daughter had anxiety and panic attacks
My daughter did crazy things that scared me half to death
She ran away
She flipped a car
She lost most of her friends
She lost her boyfriend
She went to rehab twice
She went to teen challenge for six months
She got saved and believed in Jesus Christ
She got a job
She paid off debt to people she stole from
She came home and lived right
She didn't drink or take any drugs anymore
She was beautiful and I loved her so very much
She was still depressed though
She wrote a note and told me how sorry she was
And then she shot herself in the heart

I don't know anything anymore

I do believe in the Lord and He is my only strength, I would be gone too if it weren't for Him
Chas

User ID: 32761527
United States
02/20/2013 01:46 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
GG that link I posted is a testimonial about a person that was cured from addiction that started in her teens after she was raped...She was helped by a practitioner using the emotion code...
Chas
Ralph--a house dog

User ID: 25802009
United States
02/20/2013 01:47 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Here's the deal, and I say this as somebody who worked at a rehab for years:

She won't change until she has hit rock bottom. There is absolutely nothing you can do to speed this up.

You can attempt an intervention, where treatment is offered, but if she isn't ready for treatment it won't work.

Clonazepam is absolutely the WRONG medication for her to be on. It is a benzo and has sedative properties, like the alcohol she is self-medicating with. It is also a controlled substance. She needs to be weened off of this medication ASAP and taken to a new doctor who doesn't prescribe garbage like this!

If she wants change, she needs to find a new focus. Some people have suggested new friends and hobbies, and those are all good, but I think I know exactly what it is.

At her age, she is stuck between being a child and an adult. She was overwhelmed by school, and wasn't ready for it. Maybe get her involved volunteering somewhere? That is slightly less stressful than work, and very rewarding. She isn't ready for college, so don't make her go, but find other ways to slowly work her into her role as an adult.

It may also help to ask her if she has ever considered looking into a religion. That seems to help a lot of people, especially with addiction, to have faith in something other than themselves and that power to heal them.

Those are my words of advice, I wish you good luck. It will be a tough road to follow.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428411



I think this poster sounds like they know what they are talking about. This would probably be the optimal course to follow if she is sober and cognizant long enough for anyone to get through to her. The Emotion Code concept is said to be remarkably healing, as well.

If not---the family's gotta do what they gotta do to save her life. This kid is living on the streets for all practical purposes and is only a step away from an overdose or becoming a victim of violence.

Last Edited by Ralph--a house dog on 02/20/2013 01:50 AM
"Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night.....Rage, rage against the dying of the light"-----Dylan Thomas

HIS NAME IS SETH RICH

[link to biblicalselfdefense.com]

[link to forum.1111ers.blog]


Always remember that "for the greater good" will not include YOU.

"Who decides?"
---Robert A. Heinlein


-'Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech.'—Benjamin Franklin

[link to www.westcoasttruth.com]

The only thing worth paying full retail for is pantyhose.

You cannot do all of the good the world needs, but the world needs all of the good you can do.
GreadyGeniu$  (OP)

User ID: 25206264
United States
02/20/2013 01:48 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


She also has issues. Her issues could be very profound, so tred lightly. I had issues, that I never shared with anyone. That I delt with personally for many years. I am a very strong person. This is a tricky one, and I hate to tell you... your damned if you do... your damned if you dont.. there is no way to win this one. You need to treat her like a deer in the forest. Let her come to you, and never spook the deer. If you do, you may never see her again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30397426


Thank you and everyone else for the advice. Everyone seems to be suggesting that we just need to wait for her to figure it out on her own. This is correct and the same advice I would give if I was asked, but it is sooooo hard to accept this when you love the person and know they have so much potential. Is there anything else to force her into treatment so we dont have to risk her safety/health/life.
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


No Alcoholics and Depressives dont cure themselves, im now certain like its obvious with so many she isnt ready for college yet. Its the same with so many people, theyre still too immature. Alot of people dont grow up until theyre older still than even 20, I was a bright idiot in school and shouldnt have started until 3 years later, again this is obvious in many people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34771596


Now wait a minute. Is this about she's in very major peril or is this about disappointment that little ms. perfect wasn't so perfect after all? Because a lot of people drink a LOT at that age. Hell, I was in a booze haze from age 16 to 28 and I am now very successful and all that good stuff. If you really feel her life is at risk, then parents should go to court and get her declared incompetent and take over. If she's just partying and not fulfilling the dreams her parents had for her, they should back off.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31907650


I totally agree with you. I went through my stages of learning things on my own and finding out the hard way at the same age. Sometimes you just have to.. But at the same time I am a male so "preserving innocence" or being victimized in that sense was irrelevant. Yes, of course her parents have high aspirations for her and it is common for people to drink a lot at this age. But when someone has an obvious, full blown addiction to alcohol or any drug, just letting them figure it out on their own is not going to work. Alcohol isnt just going to get old or boring. She is literally going to ruin her life.

Last Edited by GreadyGeniu$ on 02/20/2013 01:48 AM
GG.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23215144
United States
02/20/2013 01:48 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Slap the shit out of her and lock her in her room! no joke, this helped me
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14406166
United States
02/20/2013 01:49 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
The biggest problem with addictions and depression is the brains inability to be objective.
There is a Dr. Amen whose approach to addiction is to bring the brain back to optimum
functionality so that she can begin to think more clearly and the brain literally doesn't
crave the alcohol so much. I am relating this info from videos I stumbled upon a year
or so ago and I was impressed enough to remember it.
He is a Psychiatrist, he does have his own site, I'd post a link but I am not that
computer literate.(sorry)
Pray for her, I hope this helps
GreadyGeniu$  (OP)

User ID: 25206264
United States
02/20/2013 01:50 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
My daughter had depression And was not taking any meds
My daughter was raised in a loving family and had nothing bad happened to her, her childhood was beautiful
My daughter had anxiety and panic attacks
My daughter did crazy things that scared me half to death
She ran away
She flipped a car
She lost most of her friends
She lost her boyfriend
She went to rehab twice
She went to teen challenge for six months
She got saved and believed in Jesus Christ
She got a job
She paid off debt to people she stole from
She came home and lived right
She didn't drink or take any drugs anymore
She was beautiful and I loved her so very much
She was still depressed though
She wrote a note and told me how sorry she was
And then she shot herself in the heart

I don't know anything anymore

I do believe in the Lord and He is my only strength, I would be gone too if it weren't for Him
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


This breaks my heart. Is there ANYTHING you would have done differently in hindsight?
GG.
Tattau

User ID: 30568245
United States
02/20/2013 01:52 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Here's the deal, and I say this as somebody who worked at a rehab for years:

She won't change until she has hit rock bottom. There is absolutely nothing you can do to speed this up.

You can attempt an intervention, where treatment is offered, but if she isn't ready for treatment it won't work.

Clonazepam is absolutely the WRONG medication for her to be on. It is a benzo and has sedative properties, like the alcohol she is self-medicating with. It is also a controlled substance. She needs to be weened off of this medication ASAP and taken to a new doctor who doesn't prescribe garbage like this!

If she wants change, she needs to find a new focus. Some people have suggested new friends and hobbies, and those are all good, but I think I know exactly what it is.

At her age, she is stuck between being a child and an adult. She was overwhelmed by school, and wasn't ready for it. Maybe get her involved volunteering somewhere? That is slightly less stressful than work, and very rewarding. She isn't ready for college, so don't make her go, but find other ways to slowly work her into her role as an adult.

It may also help to ask her if she has ever considered looking into a religion. That seems to help a lot of people, especially with addiction, to have faith in something other than themselves and that power to heal them.

Those are my words of advice, I wish you good luck. It will be a tough road to follow.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428411



Also agree 100%

With this kind of problem, the only way is down. "Rock Bottom." She either crawls out and lives, or stays there and die.

It's entirely up to her.

Last Edited by Tattau on 02/20/2013 01:54 AM
Artwork does not become "Art" until someone buys it... until then, it's just an obsession... and a storage problem.

Artist-Illustrator

[link to lcbookout.wordpress.com (secure)]
GreadyGeniu$  (OP)

User ID: 25206264
United States
02/20/2013 01:53 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Here's the deal, and I say this as somebody who worked at a rehab for years:

She won't change until she has hit rock bottom. There is absolutely nothing you can do to speed this up.

You can attempt an intervention, where treatment is offered, but if she isn't ready for treatment it won't work.

Clonazepam is absolutely the WRONG medication for her to be on. It is a benzo and has sedative properties, like the alcohol she is self-medicating with. It is also a controlled substance. She needs to be weened off of this medication ASAP and taken to a new doctor who doesn't prescribe garbage like this!

If she wants change, she needs to find a new focus. Some people have suggested new friends and hobbies, and those are all good, but I think I know exactly what it is.

At her age, she is stuck between being a child and an adult. She was overwhelmed by school, and wasn't ready for it. Maybe get her involved volunteering somewhere? That is slightly less stressful than work, and very rewarding. She isn't ready for college, so don't make her go, but find other ways to slowly work her into her role as an adult.

It may also help to ask her if she has ever considered looking into a religion. That seems to help a lot of people, especially with addiction, to have faith in something other than themselves and that power to heal them.

Those are my words of advice, I wish you good luck. It will be a tough road to follow.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428411



I think this poster sounds like they know what they are talking about. This would probably be the optimal course to follow if she is sober and cognizant long enough for anyone to get through to her. The Emotion Code concept is said to be remarkably healing, as well.

If not---the family's gotta do what they gotta do to save her life. This kid is living on the streets for all practical purposes and is only a step away from an overdose or becoming a victim of violence.
 Quoting: Ralph--a house dog


I agree Ralph thanks. And thank you very much AC, this is very good to know.
GG.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23766853
United States
02/20/2013 01:53 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
If she won't see her problem, her parents and other family members and friends can find supportive groups locally and online. Such as Al-Anon.

Here's a good online supportive site:

[link to www.soberrecovery.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19091730
United States
02/20/2013 01:54 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Is she drinking because she is depressed? You need to get her on meds if depression is the cause.

I went through this with my daughter and was stupid and didn't insist on medication. She drank because she didn't like herself. When she drank it felt better for her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11249205


She does take clonazepam.

Speaking of which.. is this a good drug to be on?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Ah No, as coming off it can kill you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34771596
United Kingdom
02/20/2013 01:54 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
...


Are you her shrink? Of course you don't know that FOR SURE! Stop assuming things just because of what you've "Seen" doesn't mean you know ALL about someone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33314705


Totally agree.My life looked the same way but my mother was the devil behind closed doors.Even if you live in the house with them you cant really know EVERYTHING that goes on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30292703


Her counselor figured there was some zero point for all of this. Some event that caused it. We all sat for weeks trying to figure it out. She was somewhat sheltered, very protected, and had everything she could want with no work for it. Very spoiled, but that does not mean she is destined for failure. Again tho, she was NOT abused. Unless she does not know about it, and in that case I dont think it would affect her today?
 Quoting: GreadyGeniu$


Most of mine was mental abuse and even 30 years later I have yet to discuss it with my therapists of 8 years.
Some perfect parents can really screw you up and its hard to overcome,some never overcome.I saw no good purpose for living and I sure didnt want to be the person she was.Phoney 100%.The bottle was the only way I could escape thinking about it for years.Still think about it but once she died I was able to live easier.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30292703


Very True, it is healthy for children to experience life in its entirety by their parents. Most people are incredibly narrow minded focusing on only a small part of reality afraid to change their mind or say sorry. Only really caring about their own appearance and not who their child is.
Balloons

User ID: 33864271
Denmark
02/20/2013 01:55 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
Talk to one of her boyfrends/freinds and tell him to be her -guardian-
Please hold still so I can cut your hair long





GLP