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im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,

 
Ava Smith (OP)

User ID: 34919966
United States
02/21/2013 11:16 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
well, you're most likely not one. so, dont waste my time.
 Quoting: Ava Smith


Do you actually expect a real vampire to come and turn you...

you must consider this...

before I would make anyone my fledgling and have to deal with their childish vampiric follies for all of eternity... I would have to be damn certain they werent a fuckface...

there would be lots and lots and lots of guidelines... STRICT guidelines... not everyone can act responsible enough to handle the gift of 'forever'

and most certainly I wouldnt pick someone off the internet...

And i most certainly would not pick someone just because they "wanted" it...

what would you offer me... your sire? hmmmmm?

Why would I do it for free?

Nothing is free... NOTHING... if you want something you must earn it... you must pay the way... things do not just fall out of the sky... because you want them to...

If I were to spend my time turning you... teaching you, and making sure you didnt decide to take leaps off of skyscrapers onto the street, creating a spectacle, and ending up on CNN...
you know like in that movie underworld...

what would be in it for me?!

you cant act as you want if you are burdened with the gift of vampiracy... you must be discreet and follow guidelines...

not everyone can... some think its cool to use their vampiric burdens as an awesome display of power to panic humans... that is a no no.

So why would I waste my time on someone who isnt willing to offer me something in return? when i would have to devote much time training, teaching and making sure you werent another fuckface on a power trip...

my advice Fleshmonger... enjoy getting old, enjoy the pains of mortality... and enjoy death when it comes...

Vampirism is a burden... not a blessing...

and im as real of a vampire you are gonna find online...

...i wouldnt wager any cash on the legitimacy of vampires really existing else where either...

Vampires sell books, movies, merchandise, games and whatever else... why... because they are enchanting, romantic, mysterious... but just like any other product out there... they are a facade... a gimmick... a method of prying you of your cash to line the pockets of others...
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


so, you're saying you're a real vampire. honestly.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34918378
Germany
02/21/2013 11:16 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
if anyone can help please reply on this. pleasee, i really want this.
 Quoting: vampire


Why do you want to become a vampire?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34918378


i have no meaning in life. im just simply there.
 Quoting: Ava Smith


If you have no meaning in life, how could you ever define what meaning is in the first place? How would you define it, from where you are at this point in time?
AllGunsBlazing

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02/21/2013 11:17 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
if you are taking this as a joke please dont reply.
 Quoting: Ava Smith



The bible considers a sinner dead. So I consider the walking "dead, a sinner, a zombie.



As for a vampire, I consider them the legions of darkness. So could possess a human vessel but it enslaves it. You may no longer have power over your vessel. Demons can be quite strong to those not seeking refuge in god. They can be quite powerful in human vessels actually. Tis not a good idea to seek such things.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26244997


Is it the 1400s?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34902527
Australia
02/21/2013 11:17 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
...


He can help you

he knows a heap about vampires
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32538141


how do i look him up or whatever?
 Quoting: Ava Smith


He wrote a book about me...

[link to en.wikipedia.org]
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


he wrote a book about you? lmao.. okay.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

[link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]

if your going to come in here with a 20yo twi/tards knowledge of vampires youre going to need to know your history.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2013 11:17 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
I... need this.
 Quoting: Ava Smith


Well,

good luck in your search. You will look for a long time because there is not such thing as a REAL vampire.

Now, you might find some crazies who have watched too much tv shows as well

and think they are

be careful of the real crazies and don't let yourself go too far over that fine

line yourself
Ava Smith (OP)

User ID: 34919966
United States
02/21/2013 11:20 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
...


how do i look him up or whatever?
 Quoting: Ava Smith


He wrote a book about me...

[link to en.wikipedia.org]
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


he wrote a book about you? lmao.. okay.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

[link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]

if your going to come in here with a 20yo twi/tards knowledge of vampires youre going to need to know your history.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34902527


then educate me.
Dr. AculaModerator
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User ID: 5240
United States
02/21/2013 11:21 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
if anyone can help please reply on this. pleasee, i really want this.
 Quoting: vampire


Why do you want to become a vampire?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34918378


i have no meaning in life. im just simply there.
 Quoting: Ava Smith


and becoming a creature of unlife would give you meaning?

The grass is always greener on the other side...

lingering in the shadows,
unable to enjoy a beautiful summers day,
an unquenchable thirst to cause despair and ruin to others,

if you didnt kill those you love... because you had an insatiable lust for destruction

you watch them wither and die...

before you know it... all those around you are gone and you are the last of your creed.

Your touch is cold and cruel, your very presence reeks of death... you are the damned incarnate and the mockery of all that is good upon this world...

You cannot remain in one place for too long...

and the introduction of photo ID's and social security numbers make it quite a task to remain hidden from the governments eye... if they knew you existed... they would capture and experiment on you... not all that pleasant...

that is just a taste of the hells you would face...

Hollywood has destroyed this world... that make the most amazing and beautiful life seem mundane and pointless...

enjoy your life... it was no easy act for you to be here...

every choice your ancestors made had the end result of you... it thousands upon thousands of years of heritage and struggle and chance for you to be born...
it is a miracle any of us were born... smile, look in the mirror and smile...

thats something a vampire couldnt do...

Last Edited by Dr. Acula on 02/21/2013 11:23 PM
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/21/2013 11:23 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
im a vampire. i know some vampires. there is an organization of us. i could contact a vampire local to you. they will come turn you tonight. what is your address
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33797613


stop shilling

those who need real help!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32538141


i would not give my address over the internet for all too see. how do i know you're real?
 Quoting: Ava Smith


what did you expect grasshopper

someone had to say the words you wanted to hear to support your delusion and lead you on for a while, cement your foolishness into your memory hahah

you ever hear bout all these teens thinking theyre vampires, killing folk, suckin their blood?

going to jail for life?

yeah that happens.

i suggest you forget about becoming a vampire. ever. the sooner you move on to something more constructive for yourself and the rest of the world, the better.

become a monk or something, you selfish selfish thing you
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34902527
Australia
02/21/2013 11:23 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
...


He wrote a book about me...

[link to en.wikipedia.org]
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


he wrote a book about you? lmao.. okay.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

[link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]

if your going to come in here with a 20yo twi/tards knowledge of vampires youre going to need to know your history.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34902527


then educate me.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

bad enough i actually posted a link-if you can read fucking twilight you can read the link then use your own brain.
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/21/2013 11:23 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
...


how do i look him up or whatever?
 Quoting: Ava Smith


He wrote a book about me...

[link to en.wikipedia.org]
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


he wrote a book about you? lmao.. okay.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

[link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]

if your going to come in here with a 20yo twi/tards knowledge of vampires youre going to need to know your history.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34902527

Click this link...
[link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]
then...

<---------------- look to the left
Ava Smith (OP)

User ID: 34919966
United States
02/21/2013 11:24 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
im a vampire. i know some vampires. there is an organization of us. i could contact a vampire local to you. they will come turn you tonight. what is your address
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33797613


stop shilling

those who need real help!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32538141


i would not give my address over the internet for all too see. how do i know you're real?
 Quoting: Ava Smith


what did you expect grasshopper

someone had to say the words you wanted to hear to support your delusion and lead you on for a while, cement your foolishness into your memory hahah

you ever hear bout all these teens thinking theyre vampires, killing folk, suckin their blood?

going to jail for life?

yeah that happens.

i suggest you forget about becoming a vampire. ever. the sooner you move on to something more constructive for yourself and the rest of the world, the better.

become a monk or something, you selfish selfish thing you
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33797613


how am i being selfish?
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/21/2013 11:25 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
I heard if you eat 4 lbs of your own feces you'll become a full blooded vampire.Do it op and get back to us.
 Quoting: Chip


i thought that was a liberal?

cruise
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/21/2013 11:27 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
...


stop shilling

those who need real help!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32538141


i would not give my address over the internet for all too see. how do i know you're real?
 Quoting: Ava Smith


what did you expect grasshopper

someone had to say the words you wanted to hear to support your delusion and lead you on for a while, cement your foolishness into your memory hahah

you ever hear bout all these teens thinking theyre vampires, killing folk, suckin their blood?

going to jail for life?

yeah that happens.

i suggest you forget about becoming a vampire. ever. the sooner you move on to something more constructive for yourself and the rest of the world, the better.

become a monk or something, you selfish selfish thing you
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33797613


how am i being selfish?
 Quoting: Ava Smith


Vampires are selfish!

they selflessly take the life of others to prolong and sustain their own... thats pretty fucking selfish if you ask me...
Ava Smith (OP)

User ID: 34919966
United States
02/21/2013 11:27 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
...


he wrote a book about you? lmao.. okay.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

[link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]

if your going to come in here with a 20yo twi/tards knowledge of vampires youre going to need to know your history.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34902527


then educate me.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

bad enough i actually posted a link-if you can read fucking twilight you can read the link then use your own brain.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34902527


so you said he wrote a book on you? either youre dracula lmao or a vampire or someone just fuckin with me.
AllGunsBlazing

User ID: 23985283
United States
02/21/2013 11:28 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
...

[link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]

if your going to come in here with a 20yo twi/tards knowledge of vampires youre going to need to know your history.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34902527


then educate me.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

bad enough i actually posted a link-if you can read fucking twilight you can read the link then use your own brain.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34902527


so you said he wrote a book on you? either youre dracula lmao or a vampire or someone just fuckin with me.
 Quoting: Ava Smith

His last name is Acula and he has a PhD
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34918615
United States
02/21/2013 11:29 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Well, OP, my offer still stands...I can turn you into a Psy-Vamp if you wish (will take a while for you to begin to feel the effects)...all I need is for you to say yes.

bat
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33345387
United States
02/21/2013 11:29 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
You just want to be immortal huh?
Yeah.. me too...
Death is a frightening concept.
And then there's the fact that mortal life does not afford enough time for ultimate experiencing and knowledge gathering.
Why in the world am I even replying to this one?
Smh..
The only way you're going to reach immortality is through an eternal soul.
If that's how it is.
Really though, stop being so selfish and afraid.
Get busy.
If we don't fix this planet and our species, it will be mars all over again.
Not that it would matter considering the size of the universe and the amount of things taking place.
Maybe that's what is supposed to happen and we are just a little bubble of life soon to pop.
The story always goes on, it'll just be somewhere else for some other things.
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/21/2013 11:31 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
His last name is Acula and he has a PhD
 Quoting: AllGunsBlazing


cruise

yup

cheers
Apopheros
Space Tsade Shinobi

User ID: 633354
Canada
02/21/2013 11:32 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
if you are taking this as a joke please dont reply.
 Quoting: Ava Smith



Now read this this is serious. So far as I know there aren't any vampire. BUT, there is animated black matter which become animatted somehow. Look for it on youtube, the speeding black for across a beach after Japan's tsunami, and many other flying humanoids in southern america mexico and even London recently, spotted doing a flying "C" form just days before the pope resigned. So, don't look for vampires, but look for dark matter and you shall incarnate it like witches used to do.

best of luck to you

here as an example, they can incarnate as Thjoth in the Sun, look closely to the Thoth figure like on the left:

thoth


apophis

mamhoud

Last Edited by Apopheros on 02/21/2013 11:33 PM
You've been schooled by the Great Hermes Quattromegistus muhahahaha!
Akasha-> [link to www.thecleverest.com]
Ava Smith (OP)

User ID: 34919966
United States
02/21/2013 11:32 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Well, OP, my offer still stands...I can turn you into a Psy-Vamp if you wish (will take a while for you to begin to feel the effects)...all I need is for you to say yes.

bat
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34918615


my email snicr101@aol.com
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34918615
United States
02/21/2013 11:33 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Vampires are selfish!

they selflessly take the life of others to prolong and sustain their own... thats pretty fucking selfish if you ask me...
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


No different than humans, when you think about it.

Killing animals and plants to sustain their existence...

Fact of life is, you're either going to eat a meal or be a meal, no matter what you are.

And the longer you exist, providing you're not immortal, the more lives will have to end just to sustain your own.

Vampires just go about sustaining their existence differently is all...nothing truly selfish about it. wink
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2013 11:34 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Go hang out on the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk after hours. You'll find some hanging out there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31733515


Dr. AculaModerator
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02/21/2013 11:35 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
so you said he wrote a book on you? either youre dracula lmao or a vampire or someone just fuckin with me.
 Quoting: Ava Smith


thats the deal isnt it?

How can you be sure?

How can you be sure if you met someone in real life... who claimed to be an vampire... how can you be positive they were a real vampire?

hmmmmm?

You cant...

you are walking a dangerous path... be wise and weary and seek another route...

you are bound to intersect lanes with someone of ill intent... who will take advantage of you... someone who will hurt you.... because they are a "vampire"
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/21/2013 11:35 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Go hang out on the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk after hours. You'll find some hanging out there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31733515


???
 Quoting: Ava Smith


Santa Carla boardwalk, go find Bram Stoker there... he's a vampire and he'll fix ya.

Worst thing about livin' in Santa Carla... all the damned vampires.
Thanks
User ID: 34918615
United States
02/21/2013 11:36 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Well, OP, my offer still stands...I can turn you into a Psy-Vamp if you wish (will take a while for you to begin to feel the effects)...all I need is for you to say yes.

bat
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34918615


my email ************
 Quoting: Ava Smith


No need to post that...all I needed was your consent.

I can do it over the web - already locked on to your energy signature, and the process can begin.

Don't worry about not knowing how to feed afterwards - instinct will take over and you'll find it comes naturally.
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/21/2013 11:36 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Vampires are selfish!

they selflessly take the life of others to prolong and sustain their own... thats pretty fucking selfish if you ask me...
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


No different than humans, when you think about it.

Killing animals and plants to sustain their existence...

Fact of life is, you're either going to eat a meal or be a meal, no matter what you are.

And the longer you exist, providing you're not immortal, the more lives will have to end just to sustain your own.

Vampires just go about sustaining their existence differently is all...nothing truly selfish about it. wink
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34918615


hush fool!

I am trying to discredit our existence entirely! that isnt helping!

damned

what did i just say?!

uh oh... i mean yeah... how about those Mets?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33345387
United States
02/21/2013 11:37 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Well, OP, my offer still stands...I can turn you into a Psy-Vamp if you wish (will take a while for you to begin to feel the effects)...all I need is for you to say yes.

bat
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34918615


my email ************
 Quoting: Ava Smith


No need to post that...all I needed was your consent.

I can do it over the web - already locked on to your energy signature, and the process can begin.

Don't worry about not knowing how to feed afterwards - instinct will take over and you'll find it comes naturally.
 Quoting: Thanks 34918615


No way...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32538141
United States
02/21/2013 11:38 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Ok


dearrreeee

Bram Stoker wrote the first vampire book and invented Dracula and the concept of vampire

'Dracula' written in 1897, by Bram Stoker, is often referred to as the defining vampire novel, but it is possible that Stoker was influenced by Joseph Sheridan LeFanu's Gothic vampire novella 'Carmilla' written in 1872.

The concept of vampire was invented by these writers

It is make believe

a good story but only that
ChipModerator
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02/21/2013 11:38 PM

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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
I heard if you eat 4 lbs of your own feces you'll become a full blooded vampire.Do it op and get back to us.
 Quoting: Chip


i thought that was a liberal?

cruise
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


rofl You're right Doc!!! Silly me!
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda ~David Mills ~ Se7en!

every-citizen
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/21/2013 11:39 PM
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Re: im looking for vampires, real vampires, i want to be turned,
Well, OP, my offer still stands...I can turn you into a Psy-Vamp if you wish (will take a while for you to begin to feel the effects)...all I need is for you to say yes.

bat
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34918615


my email ************
 Quoting: Ava Smith


No need to post that...all I needed was your consent.

I can do it over the web - already locked on to your energy signature, and the process can begin.

Don't worry about not knowing how to feed afterwards - instinct will take over and you'll find it comes naturally.
 Quoting: Thanks 34918615


If there were such a thing, then I believe I was cursed with it. But I cannot recall giving anyone my consent. Though I would have if it were offered.

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