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joke of the day

 
jack squat
User ID: 34207802
United States
02/25/2013 07:33 PM
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joke of the day
THIS , mushroom goes to a bar, he walks in and sits down, yells to the bartender to come on over , bartender walks over and says, no, no, no you gotta leave buddy , we dont serve your kind here, mushroom looks all around shruggs his shoulders and says , whats wrong with me ?? IAM A FUN GUY............ GET IT , FUNGI1rof11rof1lmaocheersblobrchorusratdancebroccolicruise OK, NOW IT,S YOUR TURN, LETS HEAR YOUR BEST STUPID JOKES
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/25/2013 07:35 PM

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Re: joke of the day
lol
LittleMissDictator
Femme Fatale

User ID: 21778193
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02/25/2013 07:39 PM

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Re: joke of the day
banana2



lmao
"Start giving, and see the JOY in giving"
jack squat (OP)
User ID: 34207802
United States
02/25/2013 07:40 PM
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Re: joke of the day
AW, COME ON GUYS LETS HEAR A COUPLE, ITS HAPPY HOUR HERE IN SHPINCTERVILLE ,NEXT ROUND IS ON ME
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34605733
Hong Kong
02/25/2013 07:44 PM
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Re: joke of the day
What's Red .... Hard.... And bad for your teeth ?






A brick.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34533941
Mexico
02/25/2013 07:44 PM
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Re: joke of the day
Little Johnny asked,"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

"Er, um," stammered Mommy, flustered, "well, when two people love each other very much, the man puts his penis in the woman's vagina. And that's where babies come from!"

"But, Mommy," little Johnny looked at her, puzzled, "When I saw you and Daddy last night, he was putting it in your mouth! Is that where babies come from?"

Mommy laughed, "Oh no, silly, that's where jewelry comes from!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34605733
Hong Kong
02/25/2013 07:47 PM
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Re: joke of the day
One cows says to another Cow
Quack
WTF !
Oh sorry I,m learning a foreign language
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34605733
Hong Kong
02/25/2013 07:47 PM
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Re: joke of the day
One cows says to another Cow
Quack
WTF !
Oh sorry I,m learning a foreign language
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34533941
Mexico
02/25/2013 07:49 PM
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Re: joke of the day
One cow said to the other cow: "Hey, you heard about that Mad Cow disease?"

THe other one replied," Who the fuck are you talking to? I'm a squirrel"
mrs. jack squat (OP)
User ID: 34207802
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02/25/2013 07:49 PM
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Re: joke of the day
please forgive my husband, he is a lonely guy, and your his only freinds, so when he comes back from the restroom , please leave a joke or a comment. it would mean so much to him .drinks
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/25/2013 07:50 PM
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Re: joke of the day
Q. Why did GOD give black guys such large penises?

A. Because he felt bad for what he did to their hair.
Chuck
User ID: 30723337
United States
02/25/2013 08:00 PM
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Re: joke of the day
A straight guy walks up to a chick and says " I have a job"
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/25/2013 08:05 PM

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Re: joke of the day
Here is my fave joke :)


A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34496299
Argentina
02/25/2013 08:08 PM
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Re: joke of the day
I got one!
A plane crash into the penagon in 2001!

LOL!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/25/2013 08:10 PM
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Re: joke of the day
Lol okay
spiritnut

User ID: 27063361
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02/25/2013 08:12 PM

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Re: joke of the day
What do you get when you cross a hooker and a pygmy?
A little f#$%er about this big (holds hands about 2 feet off the ground).
1rof1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34853598
United States
02/25/2013 08:17 PM
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Re: joke of the day
A Vampires favorite animal?



Giraffe
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/25/2013 08:19 PM

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Re: joke of the day
A Vampires favorite animal?



Giraffe
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34853598


hahahaha

cheers
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34399218
Canada
02/25/2013 08:21 PM
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Re: joke of the day
How Do You Get Holy Water?























You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34399218
Canada
02/25/2013 08:22 PM
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Re: joke of the day
What did the Momma buffalo say when her baby boy left home?

Bye son!
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
02/25/2013 08:24 PM
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Re: joke of the day
A piece of string walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Hey you, string! Get out of here! We don't serve string in this bar!" So the string walks outside into the alley, ties himself into a knot and frays his ends up as much as he can.

He walks back into the bar.

The bartender says "Hey! Aren't you that piece of string?"

The string replies "Nope, frayed knot!"
Dr. AculaModerator
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02/25/2013 08:25 PM

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Re: joke of the day
A piece of string walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Hey you, string! Get out of here! We don't serve string in this bar!" So the string walks outside into the alley, ties himself into a knot and frays his ends up as much as he can.

He walks back into the bar.

The bartender says "Hey! Aren't you that piece of string?"

The string replies "Nope, frayed knot!"
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34399218


haha clever!!!
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
02/25/2013 08:25 PM
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Re: joke of the day
An atom is sitting at a bar looking all depressed, and the bartender asks what the problem is.

The atom says "I've lost an electron."

Bartender says "Wow, dude, are you sure?"

The atom says, "Yep, I'm positive."
mezroy
User ID: 20519170
United States
02/25/2013 08:26 PM
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Re: joke of the day
Big badass biker sets beside a hottie at a bar and says "pardon me miss but can I smell your pussy"Hottie says "why hesvans no"Badass biker says 'Yew must be your feet yew"
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
02/25/2013 08:27 PM
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Re: joke of the day
What is Dr. Acula's favorite song?


"Fangs for the Memories"
Abi ~

User ID: 25045778
United States
02/25/2013 08:28 PM

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Re: joke of the day
Here is my fave joke :)


A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


lmao
You accept the love you think you deserve~~~

Love cannot live where there is no trust~~~

Truth has no temperature~~~
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
02/25/2013 08:29 PM
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Re: joke of the day
A funeral director walks into a pharmacy wheeling his latest customer. He says "you got anything for this coffin?"
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2013 08:30 PM
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Re: joke of the day
why do Hippos Fuck in the water....







hard to keep 1800lbs of pussy wet!
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2013 08:30 PM
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Re: joke of the day
THIS , mushroom goes to a bar, he walks in and sits down, yells to the bartender to come on over , bartender walks over and says, no, no, no you gotta leave buddy , we dont serve your kind here, mushroom looks all around shruggs his shoulders and says , whats wrong with me ?? IAM A FUN GUY............ GET IT , FUNGI1rof11rof1lmaocheersblobrchorusratdancebroccolicruise OK, NOW IT,S YOUR TURN, LETS HEAR YOUR BEST STUPID JOKES
 Quoting: jack squat 34207802


ouch
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2013 08:30 PM
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Re: joke of the day
What do you call a deer with no eyes?....




























Noeyedeer <------ 5a
Spittin'Cesium

User ID: 14589973
United Kingdom
02/25/2013 08:32 PM

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Re: joke of the day
1rof1

Keep em' coming!

5*s'.

Last Edited by Spittin'Cesium on 02/25/2013 08:33 PM
The thing that hath been,
is That which shall be;
and that which is done is that which shall be done:and there is no new thing under the Sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:1