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NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments

 
Hard Eight
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02/28/2013 07:36 PM
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NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
National Chili Day
Thursday February 28, 2013

The origins of chili are as murky as the red-hot, meaty stew itself.
Learn how a President helped promote interest in Chili and how "the only real 'bowl of red' is that prepared by Texans.”

[link to www.nationalchiliday.com]

Last Edited by Hard Eight on 02/28/2013 07:49 PM
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:37 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
Here are some delicious recipes to help you celebrate the day—most of which were contributed by some of my favorite blog friends!

[link to carrotsncake.com]
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:38 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
February 28, 2013 is
National Chili Day

Today is National Chili Day! Whether you prefer it Texas-style, Mexican-style, or vegetarian, chili served with a side of cornbread is a fabulous comfort food for the winter season.

Despite popular belief, chili does not come from Mexico. The recipe has certainly been influenced by Mexican culture, but it also incorporates elements from Native American and Spanish culinary traditions. Many historians believe chili originated in Texas where all three of these cultures intersected.

According to legend, Spanish priests called the first chili “the soup of the Devil” because they believed that chili peppers were an aphrodisiac. To celebrate National Chili Day, indulge in a delicious bowl of this historical spicy stew!
[link to www.punchbowl.com]
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:39 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy Shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:39 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:39 PM
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CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:40 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:40 PM
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CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! !
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:41 PM
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CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:41 PM
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CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Anonymous Coward
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02/28/2013 07:42 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
Is tomorrow national flatulence day?
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:42 PM
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CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report).

[link to www.freerepublic.com]
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:45 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
chili
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Texan Buckeye

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02/28/2013 07:50 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
You should've warned me!!! Today would have been a good day for chili.

When the kids were younger, our church had chili cook-offs for fund-raisers for the youth group! I think we had some of the same chili! I know we had some of the same chili!LOLOL
They also serve who stand and wait. John Milton
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:53 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
You should've warned me!!! Today would have been a good day for chili.

When the kids were younger, our church had chili cook-offs for fund-raisers for the youth group! I think we had some of the same chili! I know we had some of the same chili!LOLOL
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye


I like it all the time but especially when it's cold. I caught this on the radio this morning but could not connect to glp all day.
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Texan Buckeye

User ID: 1533753
United States
02/28/2013 07:56 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
You should've warned me!!! Today would have been a good day for chili.

When the kids were younger, our church had chili cook-offs for fund-raisers for the youth group! I think we had some of the same chili! I know we had some of the same chili!LOLOL
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye


I like it all the time but especially when it's cold. I caught this on the radio this morning but could not connect to glp all day.
 Quoting: Hard Eight


Yeah, it's been bad today.

I used to make my mom's chili for the cook-off, but no one liked it. It wasn't Texan enough!LOL I came up with an ice cream chili that they ALL loved and made homemade chicken noodle soup for those of us that couldn't eat the other stuff! The men tried to out do each other with the spices!
They also serve who stand and wait. John Milton
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:57 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
I've been fortunate to win our neighborhood's chili cook-off the last 2 years and my wife won the year before that.
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 07:58 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
I have NEVER heard of ice cream chili. Cause you need it for a chaser? Ha
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Texan Buckeye

User ID: 1533753
United States
02/28/2013 07:59 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
They wouldn't let me enter my ice cream chili in the competition. Said it wasn't real chili! No kidding, right!?! It was the most popular, though. They had to cool off their tongues after eating their own liquid fuel!
They also serve who stand and wait. John Milton
Texan Buckeye

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02/28/2013 08:01 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
I have NEVER heard of ice cream chili. Cause you need it for a chaser? Ha
 Quoting: Hard Eight


It's my own secret recipe! I'll pm it to you if you want it. It's really easy, but you need some good arm strength!
They also serve who stand and wait. John Milton
Hard Eight (OP)

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02/28/2013 08:15 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
I have NEVER heard of ice cream chili. Cause you need it for a chaser? Ha
 Quoting: Hard Eight


It's my own secret recipe! I'll pm it to you if you want it. It's really easy, but you need some good arm strength!
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye


Sure. I can send last years winner if u want and it's crockpot !!
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson
Texan Buckeye

User ID: 1533753
United States
02/28/2013 08:48 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
I give up! I'll post it in the Coffe Klatch thread when the server is back up. Sorry.
They also serve who stand and wait. John Milton
Anonymous Coward
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02/28/2013 09:00 PM
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Re: NATIONAL CHILI DAY!!! Funny Judge's Comments
Yip - We made a big pot of chili last night without even knowing you lot were celebrating over there.

We had buckwheat and beets with it. Followed by Christmas pudding and brandy butter. LOL

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