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My uncle wept.

(Entry #3, funny only if you read Entry #2)

300 words isn't much.

It's Just A Silly Seat Belt

Keep hearing people say it is time to revolt in America. I think it is too late. Should have stood up for our rights when "they" were first trying to make it a law that everyone HAD to wear a seat belt or get a ticket because you broke the law.

Sounds dumb but "they" didn't have a right to tell the people what was best for them. That is the people's choice. Now everyone BELIEVES that "they" are looking out for our well being when the exact opposite is true.

Friends and family have told me I am nuts because I hate the seat belt law when a seat belt does save lives. It isn't the seat belt that I protest, it is that "they" told ME that I have to wear it. Gave up our rights, with a small little thing and that's how it started!

The point isn't whether seat belts are good or bad for you, it is about taking my rights away. By allowing the gooberment to tell YOU what is best for YOU, YOU gave up your rights as a FREE person. We all wear our seat belts in our family, not because of a law but because it is safe, usually. I am a sane rational human being quite capable of making that choice for me and mine.

Wear your seat belt or get a ticket. You must have health insurance or be fined. Give us your guns so violence will stop or we will storm your house. These are all for our own good, right?

p.s. my subscription is up soon, this would help me, right? lol

Omg soooo funny!!!

The 10 Commandments is only 307.

Cute. Realized I read the post wrong, something that has NEVER ever happened to me before

no its not a whole lot... but it promotes concentrated cleverness... and etc

Ya so i just tried that and now that stupid county word broken thing says 0.

Ohhhh i get it, my wives, starving children and dog fart in your general direction....

I know, how about I just post an empty thread and then Dr Ac can use his psychic skillz to telepathically read the story?

Do you accept telepathic stories that you make up as you go along until it wins dr ac?

Got a Word program? It counts for you automatically.

are you even going to create a free account to be eligible to win?

Errrrrrr like Ya? And isn't concentrated cleverness what school is designed for?

So if i submit a blank page will you telepathically be able to invent the story untIl it wins?

I am not currently logged in due to a big IP ban sweep. I really need a membership!

Here it goes.....

Ode to Bat Shit Crazy Biden

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic and
So am I

Thank you all for your consideration.

Submitted by Leviticus the User Name field blanked

Heres a thread I started years ago. Pretty original.

*The Franklin Credit Union Child-Sex Ring Scandal: Implicating George Bush and other politicians***UPDATE-Penn State Sandusky scandal connected*

Thread: The Franklin Credit Union Child-Sex Ring Scandal: Implicating George Bush and other politicians***UPDATE-Penn State Sandusky scandal connected

Being a huge fan of GLP and also a tomato farmer in the rural SW of Alberta has been a difficult journey... Long nights have I spent bringing in all 12212012 plants in an attempt to avert disaster, having to replant them the following day. EAT has been a main contributor to my increasing paranoia and my brian has since become completely unhinged, frequently finding myself huddled naked in a corner...



My family is very worried about my condition. I get calls from them frequently and although I appreciate their efforts, I do believe it only makes my situation worse... Especially when my uncle calls...



I feel like a complete moran putting all this out there, but my therapist BRIEF says I need to acknowledge my fears. Then blow them up... Most of our sessions end with me huddled naked in the corner again due to my (as described by him "irrational") fear of explosions.



.... brb...


*gets dressed*

Aside from some minor personality setbacks, I'm a really nice guy. Currently single with a healthy supply of preps for two, I'm a well organized individual with a love for travel. My 11 bug-out-bags are a testament to the fact.
The deep (safe) caves in the Ozarks and the Norway seed bank are my top two travel destinations, although I can only travel by land or sea...

It's not so much that I have a fear of flying... It's more a fear of tall buildings.

I'd just like to thank everyone here at GLP for making me the person I am today. Without your help I wouldn't have such a highly developed work ethic and could very well have ended up married to some reality blind societal sheep woman.

Immediately state your intention for any further correspondence...



CalmShock

I dont wanna be bias or anything...

but CalmShock just upped the stakes for everyone

The incessant ringing of the phone woke me at 9:06am. It was my uncle Frankie. He yelled "TELEPHONE POLES WILL BE DAMAGED!" like always. I half laughed and hung up on him.
Lit up a Morley and went out to check on my tomato plants. Looked like there was a storm comin' in so I decided to take them inside. Mailman came by as I was doing that and gave me a package. Inside was the new Fandango Rangers CD, Brokeback Rangers: Liberace Re-imagined. I was about to throw it in the player when I saw a movement out in the yard. It was the neighbor kid going BEZERK! I went out to him but the only thing I could get out of him was "The two witnesses are coming! The two witnesses are coming!". Took a drag from the Morley and just shook my head. Crazy kid. I turned to go back inside and noticed my other neighbor had put up a new flag. It was yellow with the letters B.S. I laughed. He was certainly full of it. He was always babbling about Zetas or the Galactic Federation or something but I never paid any attention. Went back inside and checked my email. Saw newsletters from the Real John Lear and John Titor. I'd read them later. Had to check the World At War thread on GLP first. Knocking interrupted me. It was the father of the crazy kid. "Sorry about Damian. He's really been affected by the chem-trails lately." "It's ok," I said, "life is like a box of chocolates. Empty and filled with brown paper wrappers." I shut the door, turned on the radio and put it on my favorite channel. UVB-76. I sat down, put out the Morley, and smiled. Time for a nap.

Lol.. It's my competitive edge... I hear the word contest and my eyes bug out.

;)

he really did!
and his 2 .. tomatoes .. are really wonderful to look at !

LMAO

Video submission:

GLP. This is the forum where a string of curse words is allowed without a hypocritical veil of morality. When you write fuck - it's fuck.

Nobody plays the **** pussy game on GLP. Nobody is going to kick you out for your lack of vocabulary standards.

Look at all the emoticons. Even if you're a GLP noob, one look at the emoticons and you know this forum doesn't give a damn about political correctness.

Feminists hate that one:



You don't have to write a single word to know how you feel about someone on GLP. All you need is this:



As you can see, pictures are indeed worth a thousand words.

Such a joy to have a conspiracy forum where you can truly speak your mind.

You see, as much of a creative cauldron as GLP is... there's a twist: if you're an AC (mostly), you are going to get banned at some point of your GLP career.

And no, you weren't banned because you'd called someone a cunt, a shill, a doomtard, a fucktard, and many more you can read in the official GLP lexicon.

You're banned, because... it's fun to get banned sometimes and enjoy your cold turkey.

Banning on GLP isn't about punishment.

It's about affection.

This is what makes GLP unique.

Do you guys play "Show me yours and I'll show you mine" in Germany?

Your turn :)