Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 1,624 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 118,906
Pageviews Today: 168,327Threads Today: 46Posts Today: 759
01:35 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 02:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
First of all, ya gotta get a kick out of the nobody threads.

Funnier yet, so many messiahs here, so many messiahs out there, and what if the real one actually came on to GLP?

What would be the real perspective?

Maybe the Jesus guy (as so many refer to him) would be roaring with laughter as the primitive nature of humanity, viewing them as cross eyed goofy lunatics with NEGATIVITY or DELUSIONS of self righteousness.

Maybe he thinks your an evil species?

Matthew 16:4 A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign

John 8:44 You (humans) are of your father - the devil

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple


Maybe he would know the true design of this world and the universe as you perceive it and laugh at all your belief systems, as an adult plays with kids believing in Santa.

Maybe he enjoys walking up to another human and identifying himself, KNOWING in advance they won't believe it, and has a great laugh when another denounces him to his face.

You do realize if the spirit comes from another dimension referred to as heaven, where everything is beautiful without issue, he might not like what he see's here.

Conflict between family and friends, co-workers and neighbours, the abuses of government, law enforcement, military, wars, rapes, murders and tortures. The abuses of animals, the abuses of children behind the scenes through organized crime of religion and law enforcement covering up the abuses such as the Jimmy Saville matter of Great Britain. The ignorance, arrogance, belligerence, prejudisms, hypocrisies and irrationalisms of the human nature may make him unwilling to have friends, family, and in fact, desire NOT ONE follower here.

Maybe we has a man of war as the bible states he fought publicly with police (Pharisees) and authorities (Scribes and Sadduccees) and maybe he came not for peace but for war.

Luke 12:51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:

Maybe, inside this world, where all religions have been mininterpreted, where gods are frauds, and all the Gods commanded wars, maybe this is a bad world, different than his own. Maybe he HATES your kind.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and NOT "HATE" his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

After all, if this Jesus is back, why waste time hanging with primitive humans, and listening to their opinions that matter nothing? If humans are in a world dungeon controlled by evil beings, and you are the offspring of their design as mentioned in so many religions, and the Gods of this world are really the Devils, and all of you remain hypnotized in a trance of negative charged energy desiring to prosecute one another for wrong doings while suppressing your own dirt under the carpet, why would he want to communicate with any single one of the human race?

Maybe...his plan is not to come here for love and forgiveness, and maybe he disagrees with offering forgiveness...Maybe he speaks in manners so that human beings can NOT ATTAIN forgiveness...

Mark 4: 11 and 12 And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables: 4:12 That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them

Maybe his purpose is to come back without anyone knowing, and quietly bring the lost sheep back to his world while leaving the rest of you behind, not to upset your pride.

And of course, if God is simultaneously blamed to be the devil, maybe Jesus knowing the false God was the Devil and the term "christ" was a gift of the Lord of Darkness, maybe your idealogical Jesus will return as the Antichrist. Maybe hey? Never know? DO you?

Ah hell, mistake, your all so damn good, he just loves all of you, even forgives military men for gang raping little 5 year old girls in Iraq while the rest of the people call them heros in patriot fashion. Maybe all ya need is good cash and a good priest to get into heaven hey? Or maybe, the frauds playing Gods and all the human race are about to get their asses whooped soon, and don't know it hey? Maybe?

Love? Love? In this world? Hmmmmmmmmm!

Fact folks. He is not here now to win your friendship. He will not like YOU, he will not like ME, he will not like this place!

But as for me...I just wuvs all ya pilgrims, and why? Damn you are all amusing, everyone! Amusing! Figuratively speaking, listening to anyone on the street, in an office pretending to be something they are not, listening to a government official which is not, listening to people online or in a social setting, DAMN FUNNY! Sort of like visiting a nut house, everyone has a story, an opinion, or a belief, but what is funniest, is they have NOT a clue! (Did this last comment upset your ego and pride Lol, do you wanna say something derogatory to me now lmao?)

Wuv ya all.

P.S. I dearly enjoy the negative replies, I get bored of Comedy Central television. Want real entertainment? Have the comedian involve the crowd, it is spontaneous, and it is always making for great entertainment. I love the negative responses here, so hammer me, I needs da entertainment lol. Here come the religious nuts lol...

Can hear it already, "I will face damnation for this post". Yup, "Jesus loves you, all of us, and I am minsiterpreting words that REQUIRE NO INTERPRETATION". C'mon with the responses, I am sick over the last few days, very very bored, and could use some laughs. Maybe, just maybe this Jesus fellow might come to this site for some entertainment as well. The Lord knows, he could use a few laughs as well hey?

So...do it for Jesus, just in case he shows up here hey? And for all ya good Christians, Catholics and alike, remember to follow Jesus in prayer by closing your eyes and lowering your head to the Lords of the underworld, and finish with Amen (name of Egyptian Sun God), but don't ya good Christians look with eyes open to the heavens above...then you might be praying like that Jesus dude did when bringing Lazarus back to life from the dead.

John 11:41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank you that you have heard me.

Hmmm... follow Jesus and pray the opposite? Hmmmm....Sorry, just the asshole in me I guess. I wuv you all so much lol.
Azeratel Axo

User ID: 20063747
Canada
03/03/2013 02:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?


[link to youtu.be]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 02:53 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


Awesome. Needed that!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 03:04 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Over 30 views and only 1 funny reponse>>>
C'mon Christians...where are ya when we need ya?
IAMIAM

User ID: 13843864
United States
03/03/2013 03:15 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Sorry, just the asshole in me I guess.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29926654


I have already claimed the asshole position.

Unless you can best me for it, choose another.


I hear the taint is still available.

We would be neighbors!
Thread: Chains

Have you the strength to break them?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 03:19 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Sorry, just the asshole in me I guess.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29926654


I have already claimed the asshole position.

Unless you can best me for it, choose another.


I hear the taint is still available.

We would be neighbors!
 Quoting: IAMIAM


My apologioes, was unaware, and it is not in me to contend for kingship positions, so you win lol. Will take the taint.
IAMIAM

User ID: 13843864
United States
03/03/2013 03:22 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Sorry, just the asshole in me I guess.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29926654


I have already claimed the asshole position.

Unless you can best me for it, choose another.


I hear the taint is still available.

We would be neighbors!
 Quoting: IAMIAM


My apologioes, was unaware, and it is not in me to contend for kingship positions, so you win lol. Will take the taint.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29926654


Wonderful!

I believe you will make a delightful neighbor.

I'll have to stop by once you are all settled in.
Thread: Chains

Have you the strength to break them?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 03:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Uh oh, no Christian responses. Damn it, I made to much sense in this thread. People don't like that. My bad!
Apopheros

User ID: 19465701
Canada
03/03/2013 03:50 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Cameo of the antichrist in your thread.


Hello bogey
Azeratel Axo

User ID: 20063747
Canada
03/03/2013 03:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Uh oh, no Christian responses. Damn it, I made to much sense in this thread. People don't like that. My bad!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29926654


Yes, yes.... don't you know that the replies you get is inversely correlated with the amount of work you put in a post? tounge
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 03:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Cameo of the antichrist in your thread.


Hello :bogey:
 Quoting: Apopheros


Huh?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 03:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Uh oh, no Christian responses. Damn it, I made to much sense in this thread. People don't like that. My bad!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29926654


Yes, yes.... don't you know that the replies you get is inversely correlated with the amount of work you put in a post? tounge
 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


Too many big words. I don't understand. Inversely Correlated? I taught I was macking a good post dat was infermative and intellugant.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 04:12 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
A long time ago, in a world close close to home, I learned, "if you want input, feed them a glorious lie, and if you want silence, feed them the horrible truth".

This thread is so quiet and yet so many threads here about Jesus. Hmmmmmmm??? Is is too late for me to edit the post to say JESUS LOVES YOU lol?
IAMIAM

User ID: 13843864
United States
03/03/2013 04:17 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
A long time ago, in a world close close to home, I learned, "if you want input, feed them a glorious lie, and if you want silence, feed them the horrible truth".

This thread is so quiet and yet so many threads here about Jesus. Hmmmmmmm??? Is is too late for me to edit the post to say JESUS LOVES YOU lol?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29926654


What were you expecting?

Everyone loves Jesus!

So long as he stays on the cross and does not come back to ask them if they did what he said to do.

The living Jesus that would command them,
would be the anti-christ they fear.

While the fake Jesus made of plastic and wood,

is the true object of their affection.


Because you know, wood and plastic stay still and silent,

while it's adorers say anything in it's name.



Now what if those fake jesus' suddenly spoke!

Just to scare the shit out of the masses.

Now that would be funny!
Thread: Chains

Have you the strength to break them?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22439663
United States
03/03/2013 05:29 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Maybe they are thinking about what you said.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35514124
United States
03/03/2013 05:31 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
only poor people would follow him as they did then. Not the obedient ones.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1194370
United States
03/03/2013 05:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
What should be said OP?
Nam Marine
User ID: 33540214
United States
03/03/2013 05:43 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
YOU SMELL LIKE A FUCKTARD TO ME CUPCAKE !
YEHOSHUA BEN YESHUA
User ID: 35503575
United States
03/03/2013 05:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
I believe my Father would say ....

happyheart ...LOVE NEVER FAILS....

EVER!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/03/2013 05:56 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
I believe my Father would say ....

happyheart ...LOVE NEVER FAILS....

EVER!
 Quoting: YEHOSHUA BEN YESHUA 35503575


Father Jehovah/Yahweh knows alot about love lol...

DEUTERONOMY; 13:13 Suppose you hear in one of the towns the
LORD, your God is giving you that some worthless rabble among
you have led their fellow citizens astray by encouraging them to
worship foreign gods. In such cases, you must examine the facts
carefully. If you find it is true and can prove that such a detestable
act has occurred among you, you must attack that town and
completely destroy all its inhabitants, as well as all the livestock.
Then you must pile all the plunder in the middle of the street and
burn it. Put the entire town to the “torch as a burnt offering” to
the LORD, your God
.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10028776
United States
03/03/2013 06:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
So Lucifer lives in Canada now huh? who'd uh thunk it?
Apopheros

User ID: 633354
Canada
03/06/2013 07:05 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
So Lucifer lives in Canada now huh? who'd uh thunk it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10028776


You are 100% correct. He's french canadian too, the first language in Vatican you know lol. C'est certain que c'est pas un douchebag mais y'aime la poudre en calvaire héhéhéh
LydiaE

User ID: 34403672
United States
03/06/2013 07:12 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Please; women all over the world would be attempting to seduce "Jesus".
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29926654
Canada
03/06/2013 07:17 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Please; women all over the world would be attempting to seduce "Jesus".
 Quoting: LydiaE


I like the sounds of that
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 49350151
United Kingdom
05/24/2014 02:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
Please; women all over the world would be attempting to seduce "Jesus".
 Quoting: LydiaE


By pouring oil on his toes?

Clever.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 49350151
United Kingdom
05/24/2014 02:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Question: What if that Jesus dude was Here NOW?
.....because with oiled feet he can't run away! Hahaha, clever girl!

News