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Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?

 
George Carlin
User ID: 35483031
United States
03/03/2013 09:11 PM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
There are two theories to arguing with a woman, neither one works.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24933797
United States
03/03/2013 09:11 PM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
Insert a dildo into her anus while fucking her doggy style. Usually shuts them up for a day or two.
CalmShock

User ID: 5056346
Canada
03/03/2013 09:17 PM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
take her shopping.
Patience is a virtue I just can't wait to achieve - CalmShock
PickleJ

User ID: 7880169
United States
03/03/2013 09:45 PM

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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
The best advice I can offer is to set the ground rules early in the relationship. At the first sign of lip or disrespect, punch her in the face with a closed fist. Make sure to hit her hard, so she doesn't make the same mistake again. If dont properly, you won't have to worry about any future arguments and the relationship should be smooth sailing from then on out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4646660


You must be dreaming!
fnord
User ID: 35328559
United States
03/03/2013 09:48 PM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
Burst into tears and claim she just isn't emotionally available.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
03/03/2013 09:52 PM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
What normally works for me, is for me to act all calm and quiet and let her feel she has the last word in.
Once I believe she's had the last word, I shout, " you whiny little bitch, you've never shut up for 1 seconds, going on and on and on".....then I grab her by the hair and slam her face into the glass coffee table, smashing it, then as she's screaming, I drag her by the legs, pulling her back out of the middle of the coffee table, take her into the garden and rub her face into the dogs shit and finally doing two wrestlers drops onto her and finishing off with a few full face kick into her rib cage wearing old army boots, I stole from my next door neighbours shed.

I've found that this generally stops her from getting in the last word.


For all you righteous people, I'm only kidding.afro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35422982
United States
03/04/2013 08:13 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
God created blowjobs because it was the only time he could get anything straight inside a womans head.
Rorschach

User ID: 35552118
United States
03/04/2013 08:30 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
Tell her yes, she looks fat.
 Quoting: Rorschach


That's how you end up on the sofa for a week eating hungry man tv dinners and wearing dirty underwear because she wont do your laundry.

You've been in that situation before, haven't you? groucho
 Quoting: Debauchery


Come to think of it, yes...

Not "fat", what's the word?..
Oh right, "pretty".
I always confuse those two.

1rof1
Rorschach

User ID: 35552118
United States
03/04/2013 08:30 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
Burst into tears and claim she just isn't emotionally available.
 Quoting: fnord 35328559


^ Only works if you're a lesbian ^
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34885663
United States
03/04/2013 08:31 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
With you hat. Grab it and run.

- John Barrymore
Rorschach

User ID: 35552118
United States
03/04/2013 08:31 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
Rub her neck and say "Shhh shhh..."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8625086


That may trigger something from her past

sshhh
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


This thread sure got dark fast.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1467416
Canada
03/04/2013 08:46 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
the op is a shill, always trying to start sexist discussions about women. the other day he started a thread about assaulting women.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32807080
United States
03/04/2013 08:53 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
Look straight into her eyes and say nothing until she asks you to.

Then say ...I know what you mean, I was kind of thinking that too.
Anonymous_Hero (OP)

User ID: 32212857
United States
03/04/2013 10:40 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
the op is a shill, always trying to start sexist discussions about women. the other day he started a thread about assaulting women.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1467416


i suggest you rsvp for my remasculation boot camp. you're welcome.
***Anonymous Hero***
bringing truth to the masses
chuckles
User ID: 2417276
United States
03/04/2013 10:43 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes??

Nothing, you have already told her twice!!!

tounge
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
03/04/2013 10:50 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
I always throw the classic internet guy humor at her now:

The number one most important rules for women to understand about men:

1. Men are not mind readers

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
-Subtle hints do not work!
-Strong hints do not work!
-Obvious hints do not work!
-Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways make you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we…

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

And my personal favorite truth after I myself have disclosed such rules to my wife is this: Yes, I may have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping…

Establish this early, and she'll just look at you perplexed as you walk away with a smile on your face with the realization all... is finally... well with the world.

rockon
 Quoting: LeaderOfTheBand


Just leave the seat down. You need it down sometimes and she needs it down always. And if you have children in the house you need it down. And sitting down to pee keeps the bathroom cleaner and is better for men's prostates. Win, win situation.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
03/04/2013 10:54 AM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
the op is a shill, always trying to start sexist discussions about women. the other day he started a thread about assaulting women.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1467416


that is because he doesn't have a woman in his life. all he can do is talk.
alcapo
User ID: 26072598
United States
03/04/2013 02:24 PM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
unfriend her and her friends from your facebook.. thats what i did yesterday
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24170033
Netherlands
03/04/2013 02:33 PM
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Re: Poll: How do you win an argument with a woman?
Be silent.
 Quoting: christian


Be still.
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


this is your only weapon against that

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