You are creating your own forms, tulpa's/thoughtforms.

You have a strong mind and are creating without thought, fear drives you, you have to delve within you to find the source of the fear and release it, then you will regain control of the forms you create, your life could be full of magic if you stop letting others rule your thoughts for you.

Use you heart and your mind, always lead with love, think on the best highest most amazing outcomes first and foremost, and let love be your guide, the universe is energy, everything is energy, you are energy, so start to take not of your thoughts and feelings, create a temple in your mind, make it as real as possible, look for windows and doors, then close and seal them, everytime a negative thought/feeling or the like appear, go back to the temple in your mind and close all the doors and windows on them, bolting and locking if make it feel better for you.

Good luck.