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To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!

 
Swan Song
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03/04/2013 07:13 PM
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To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
This is something close to my heart and also something we can we can ALL relate to at some point in our lives.

The saying goes "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" I know too well this is simply not true.

Words are powerful, and so many negative words have been spoken over us by kids in our class and school, work colleagues, and sometimes by our own parents. These words sink deep into our soul and we start to believe they are true. Take another look in the mirror, you are not worthless,stupid,hopeless,etc

Be careful with your words because you don't know what impact they might have on someone.
hugs


To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
gnosis
User ID: 16935799
United States
03/04/2013 07:18 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
words pulled straight from my heart.

thank you op.

hf
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/04/2013 07:22 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
words pulled straight from my heart.

thank you op.

hf
 Quoting: gnosis 16935799


You are welcome, don't let them win, you are beautiful.
hugs
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27962372
Norway
03/04/2013 07:23 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
This is something close to my heart and also something we can we can ALL relate to at some point in our lives.

The saying goes "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" I know too well this is simply not true.

Words are powerful, and so many negative words have been spoken over us by kids in our class and school, work colleagues, and sometimes by our own parents. These words sink deep into our soul and we start to believe they are true. Take another look in the mirror, you are not worthless,stupid,hopeless,etc

Be careful with your words because you don't know what impact they might have on someone.
hugs


 Quoting: Swan Song


revenge is sweet?
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
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03/04/2013 07:30 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
revenge is sweet?
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No matter how successful we think we are some of us have had to overcome some huge mountains, because we believed the negative words spoken over us. It has robbed us of our confidence,relationships,and our joy.

I could never do that to someone else, what has been done to me.
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Sloane

User ID: 35283512
United States
03/04/2013 07:36 PM

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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.


—Lao-Tze


pinkzin
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
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03/04/2013 07:40 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.


—Lao-Tze
 Quoting: Sloane


Brilliant! Thank youhf

Last Edited by Swan Song on 03/04/2013 07:41 PM
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Anonymous Coward
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Norway
03/04/2013 07:43 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
revenge is sweet?
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No matter how successful we think we are some of us have had to overcome some huge mountains, because we believed the negative words spoken over us. It has robbed us of our confidence,relationships,and our joy.

I could never do that to someone else, what has been done to me.
 Quoting: Swan Song


then we're different, make you should try revenge once, you get the last laugh, it helps me forget and put things behind me
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/04/2013 07:49 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
revenge is sweet?
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No matter how successful we think we are some of us have had to overcome some huge mountains, because we believed the negative words spoken over us. It has robbed us of our confidence,relationships,and our joy.

I could never do that to someone else, what has been done to me.
 Quoting: Swan Song


then we're different, make you should try revenge once, you get the last laugh, it helps me forget and put things behind me
 Quoting: nerdwegian


I used to be like you, I wanted revenge for the longest time, but then I realised that forgiveness worked better. Have you ever heard of the saying that goes
unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies?
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27962372
Norway
03/04/2013 07:56 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
revenge is sweet?
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No matter how successful we think we are some of us have had to overcome some huge mountains, because we believed the negative words spoken over us. It has robbed us of our confidence,relationships,and our joy.

I could never do that to someone else, what has been done to me.
 Quoting: Swan Song


then we're different, make you should try revenge once, you get the last laugh, it helps me forget and put things behind me
 Quoting: nerdwegian


I used to be like you, I wanted revenge for the longest time, but then I realised that forgiveness worked better. Have you ever heard of the saying that goes
unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies?
 Quoting: Swan Song


but your obiosly still in pain.. im not in pain over settled scores, i dont even think about it.. its gone
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33246001
United States
03/04/2013 08:01 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
How poignant this is

Thank you for posting

hf
IAMIAM

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03/04/2013 08:08 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
revenge is sweet?
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No matter how successful we think we are some of us have had to overcome some huge mountains, because we believed the negative words spoken over us. It has robbed us of our confidence,relationships,and our joy.

I could never do that to someone else, what has been done to me.
 Quoting: Swan Song


If someone ever tries to bully you with words,

send them to me.

I'll gladly break them down,

and build them back up.

You are beautiful my friend,

and your light is shining bright!
Thread: Chains

Have you the strength to break them?
Anonymous Coward
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United States
03/04/2013 08:09 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
words pulled straight from my heart.

thank you op.

hf
 Quoting: gnosis 16935799


You are welcome, don't let them win, you are beautiful.
hugs
 Quoting: Swan Song




Sincerely. hf
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/04/2013 08:15 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
...


No matter how successful we think we are some of us have had to overcome some huge mountains, because we believed the negative words spoken over us. It has robbed us of our confidence,relationships,and our joy.

I could never do that to someone else, what has been done to me.
 Quoting: Swan Song


then we're different, make you should try revenge once, you get the last laugh, it helps me forget and put things behind me
 Quoting: nerdwegian


I used to be like you, I wanted revenge for the longest time, but then I realised that forgiveness worked better. Have you ever heard of the saying that goes
unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies?
 Quoting: Swan Song


but your obiosly still in pain.. im not in pain over settled scores, i dont even think about it.. its gone
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No my friend I am not in pain anymore, but it does pain me switch on my computer every day and see another teenager has taken their life because they were bullied and they believed the LIES that were said about them.
I posted this so that maybe someone out their can see this and know that they are loved and not alone.
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/04/2013 08:22 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
If someone ever tries to bully you with words,

send them to me.

I'll gladly break them down,

and build them back up.

You are beautiful my friend,

and your light is shining bright!
 Quoting: IAMIAM


hf
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/04/2013 08:50 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
bump
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27962372
Norway
03/04/2013 08:52 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
...


then we're different, make you should try revenge once, you get the last laugh, it helps me forget and put things behind me
 Quoting: nerdwegian


I used to be like you, I wanted revenge for the longest time, but then I realised that forgiveness worked better. Have you ever heard of the saying that goes
unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies?
 Quoting: Swan Song


but your obiosly still in pain.. im not in pain over settled scores, i dont even think about it.. its gone
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No my friend I am not in pain anymore, but it does pain me switch on my computer every day and see another teenager has taken their life because they were bullied and they believed the LIES that were said about them.
I posted this so that maybe someone out their can see this and know that they are loved and not alone.
 Quoting: Swan Song


people are ruthless, they attack you if you are or act weak .. bet ive been trough worse things than anyone here
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/04/2013 09:08 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
...


I used to be like you, I wanted revenge for the longest time, but then I realised that forgiveness worked better. Have you ever heard of the saying that goes
unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies?
 Quoting: Swan Song


but your obiosly still in pain.. im not in pain over settled scores, i dont even think about it.. its gone
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No my friend I am not in pain anymore, but it does pain me switch on my computer every day and see another teenager has taken their life because they were bullied and they believed the LIES that were said about them.
I posted this so that maybe someone out their can see this and know that they are loved and not alone.
 Quoting: Swan Song


people are ruthless, they attack you if you are or act weak .. bet ive been trough worse things than anyone here
 Quoting: nerdwegian


I am sincerely sorry to hear that, but the fact is you are still here. Life is precious,so don't waste it by believing the lies and trying to get revenge.
Often times justice will not be done in this world, but I believe that one day they will all have to answer to the highest judge of allthumbs
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Bobman
User ID: 9278389
Canada
03/04/2013 10:37 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
Awesome!

I have an admission, I was the enemy, I was your bully.

I came from a dysfunctional family, My mom was an alcoholic and my dad was extremely physically and psychologically abusive. They themselves were victims of abuse in their own families and they had themselves become abusive propagating the same patterns of abuse on me and my brothers that they had experienced growing up. They split when I was only 4 and I lived with my mom exclusively until I was 8. Thank god she realised she was too messed up at this point and called my father up and asked him to take custody of me and my 3 brothers. The abuse continued and I became withdrawn and reclusive. I was a tattered and lost soul. I took my frustration out on others and before I knew it I was a bully. I beat up other kids and used the same intimidation that was used on me on other children. It came to pass that no one wanted anything to do with me and this only drove me deeper into my hole with no hope and desire to want to get out. I had learned that life sucked and that if I had to pay this price that the others would ultimately feel my sorrow as I unconsciously projected it on them.

At around 13-14 the kids I abused got together and decide to confront me collectively, it was pay back time. They beat me like a dog and continued to do so for years. The bully had become the bullied. Now I really wanted to die but suicide was not an option. You see, years of abused made me resilient. It was at this moment that I hand an epiphany and suddenly became aware of what I had been doing to others. It was then that I decide to brake the cycle. I wanted it to stop. I made amends and albeit my life at home was not much better, I befriended those that I bullied and that bullied me.

Today I am 44, married with children and could not be happier. I no longer feel the need to hurt anyone and feel sincere sorrow and regret for having been so mean with so many kids in my past and draw from these experience to become a better person. I forgave my parents and accepted that as young adults they did the best they could. My relationship with them today could not be any stronger. I hold no grudges and accept full responsibility for my own actions and the driving forces behind the heinous things I did to other people. I still battle my demons from my past and at every occasion try to make a positive impression on those in our society that never had the chance, victims of bullying and otherwise victims of circumstance.

There is one thing I realised in all of this. Bullies in most cases are victims themselves. I am not saying this justifies there actions but it makes it quite clear to me that bulling is a product of a dysfunctional household. This is where the act of bulling is honed and perfected and that if we want to stop it, we must start here. I don't have the answers as to the how and the what to do about it but I do know, the battle must start in the home.

For all of those that I have bullied - I am so sorry. You are all beautiful people and deserved every chance possible to live a full life free from fear and pain imposed by others, please forgive me.
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/05/2013 12:09 AM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
Awesome!

I have an admission, I was the enemy, I was your bully.

I came from a dysfunctional family, My mom was an alcoholic and my dad was extremely physically and psychologically abusive. They themselves were victims of abuse in their own families and they had themselves become abusive propagating the same patterns of abuse on me and my brothers that they had experienced growing up. They split when I was only 4 and I lived with my mom exclusively until I was 8. Thank god she realised she was too messed up at this point and called my father up and asked him to take custody of me and my 3 brothers. The abuse continued and I became withdrawn and reclusive. I was a tattered and lost soul. I took my frustration out on others and before I knew it I was a bully. I beat up other kids and used the same intimidation that was used on me on other children. It came to pass that no one wanted anything to do with me and this only drove me deeper into my hole with no hope and desire to want to get out. I had learned that life sucked and that if I had to pay this price that the others would ultimately feel my sorrow as I unconsciously projected it on them.

At around 13-14 the kids I abused got together and decide to confront me collectively, it was pay back time. They beat me like a dog and continued to do so for years. The bully had become the bullied. Now I really wanted to die but suicide was not an option. You see, years of abused made me resilient. It was at this moment that I hand an epiphany and suddenly became aware of what I had been doing to others. It was then that I decide to brake the cycle. I wanted it to stop. I made amends and albeit my life at home was not much better, I befriended those that I bullied and that bullied me.

Today I am 44, married with children and could not be happier. I no longer feel the need to hurt anyone and feel sincere sorrow and regret for having been so mean with so many kids in my past and draw from these experience to become a better person. I forgave my parents and accepted that as young adults they did the best they could. My relationship with them today could not be any stronger. I hold no grudges and accept full responsibility for my own actions and the driving forces behind the heinous things I did to other people. I still battle my demons from my past and at every occasion try to make a positive impression on those in our society that never had the chance, victims of bullying and otherwise victims of circumstance.

There is one thing I realised in all of this. Bullies in most cases are victims themselves. I am not saying this justifies there actions but it makes it quite clear to me that bulling is a product of a dysfunctional household. This is where the act of bulling is honed and perfected and that if we want to stop it, we must start here. I don't have the answers as to the how and the what to do about it but I do know, the battle must start in the home.

For all of those that I have bullied - I am so sorry. You are all beautiful people and deserved every chance possible to live a full life free from fear and pain imposed by others, please forgive me.
 Quoting: Bobman 9278389


Wow, thank you for sharing that. Thank God you broke the cycle and your children will not have to go through the same thing you did (at least not by the hand of their father/mother). I too realised years later that my bullies were also bullied and/or from a very dysfunctional family themselves. At the time I was going through the physical and verbal abuse I thought that there was no hope. I hated myself and everyone around me.

It was only when I forgave my bullies (one of which was my father)that I felt like I was free, and no longer in chains and I could start to heal emotionally. I realised that I was not any of those negative things that people said I was. But I could not do this alone I had help, my help came from Jesus. He is the only one that could made me whole again. Whether you believe in him or not, I am telling the truth here, and he is the truth the way and the life for me.
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26372742
Canada
03/05/2013 12:11 AM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
I am glad that the video showed up. :)
I tried posting it last week, and the youtube link didn't work.
It got no views, so it is good that people are looking at it now.
It is very powerful. :)
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/05/2013 12:17 AM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
I am glad that the video showed up. :)
I tried posting it last week, and the youtube link didn't work.
It got no views, so it is good that people are looking at it now.
It is very powerful. :)
 Quoting: new & improved


Indeed I hope that many people see this video, it is really beautiful!
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34644633
United Kingdom
03/05/2013 12:25 AM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
if you are being bullied it at least means the person bullying thinks you are worth something, and they want to take that away from you. it is better to be bullied than to be pitied. no one bullies someone they pity.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 01:37 AM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
revenge is sweet?
 Quoting: nerdwegian


No matter how successful we think we are some of us have had to overcome some huge mountains, because we believed the negative words spoken over us. It has robbed us of our confidence,relationships,and our joy.

I could never do that to someone else, what has been done to me.
 Quoting: Swan Song


Totally agree. But you are better then that. And they only prey on people they truly think are above them. There is no need for you to seek revenge. The best revenge is to move on and although much life in years has been lost, and much taken that can never be healed or replaced.. always trust Karma will find those who purposely set out to do this and they will repay with extremely high interest.

People who do this are toxic, and normally directly related as they need to project their own rubbish onto somone else rather then own their own issues. Totally disconnect if you have given a second chance and the same thing restarted. Do not be tempted to give any other chances once you left it behind once and gave another second chance ,or your entire life will be destroyed in the mourning/healing/repeating the past ( rinse & repeat ) over and over.

You can never get back all the lost years, nor have the life you could of had with support and love as is normal from familys. But you can at least have some peace by totally removing yourself.
Anonymous Coward
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Germany
03/05/2013 12:27 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35626851
United States
03/05/2013 01:46 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
I agree.
Words have hurt me more than anything else in life.
Things my mother would say to me as a child still can be felt in me today.
As long as I live words my brother has said to me will hurt me in ways no one else ever could.
Words from people you love the most are the most hurtful.
I can still recall being made fun of at school because of the clothes I had to wear.
I am so careful what I say to my little girl because of the memories.
Swan Song (OP)

User ID: 28505443
Australia
03/05/2013 05:52 PM
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Re: To all those who have been bullied, take another look at yourself!
I agree.
Words have hurt me more than anything else in life.
Things my mother would say to me as a child still can be felt in me today.
As long as I live words my brother has said to me will hurt me in ways no one else ever could.
Words from people you love the most are the most hurtful.
I can still recall being made fun of at school because of the clothes I had to wear.
I am so careful what I say to my little girl because of the memories.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35626851


Yes, emotional pain can be worse than physical pain, it is difficult to let go and forgive.
I too am careful about what I say to my children, I build them up with my words, encouraging them and praising them instead of putting them down with hurtful words negative words. None of us are perfect parents but if we do say something in anger to our children then it is important that we acknowledge it and make it right.
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.

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