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Not having children.....

 
Broken...
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 12:56 AM
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Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35251907
United States
03/05/2013 01:05 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
clappa good for you OP! may you get laid alot in the future.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
03/05/2013 01:07 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Don't fall for the BS.
If you are a smart woman, reproduce.

Making/raising smart babies is the only hope for the planet.

Einstein was an unplanned pregnancy.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 01:09 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Don't fall for the BS.
If you are a smart woman, reproduce.

Making/raising smart babies is the only hope for the planet.

Einstein was an unplanned pregnancy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35598168


bsmeter2
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03/05/2013 01:09 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Nothing is ever guaranteed in life. Children are a blessing and can truly enrich your life, but they are a lot of work too. Just go with the flow. Make your decisions as you need to :)
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 01:10 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
I am a 44 year old woman with no kids.
I have not regretted my decision yet.
Being a parent is like a vocation. You should really feel CALLED to do it. Don't do it just because everyone else is, or it is what you are supposed to do.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 01:12 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Thank you, everyone, for your responses.

I don't know how to explain this, other than to say it's a ''gut feeling'' that having a child is a pathway to disaster.

As a teacher, I see what parents go through and it's really quite unappealing.

Of course during holidays or Kodak moments I rethink my stance, but 90% of what I see and hear from moms and dads is utterly mundane and off-putting.

As a female, I have tried to ''fit in'' and feel the way society tells me I should (think about our baby obsessed culture and the obsession of celebrity moms). No matter how hard I try, I keep coming back to the feeling of HELL NO!
eyeDR3

User ID: 5754707
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03/05/2013 01:14 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...
For every negativity, create two positives!

~For wolf and moon


Part of a pack one wolf chose to leave
A life like his dreams this wolf chose to weave

On his own in the dark the wolf could not see
Nobody was telling him what to believe

When he questioned what truly made him free
It was always the moonlight guiding thee

~eyeDR3


The sheep may one day find, there was always a wolf inside.

eyebanner
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 01:16 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...
 Quoting: eyeDR3


What you wrote doesn't make any sense.
FamilyFirst

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United States
03/05/2013 01:18 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
5 kid's, and 4 grand children, and other than a few misstep's, it has been great!!!hfLove my big family!!!
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
03/05/2013 01:18 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Im a 38 year old female no children and am still undecided. Time is running out for me but with the state of the world is a child even a smart option?
As above poster said you must really know that a child is what you want, as it should be treated as the most important job you will ever have. Unfortunately, far to many people in this world have jumped into reproducing without thinking things through and being ready, solely because its an expected thing to do. Your choice op but make sure you take the decision seriously...
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/05/2013 01:19 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Im a 38 year old female no children and am still undecided. Time is running out for me but with the state of the world is a child even a smart option?
As above poster said you must really know that a child is what you want, as it should be treated as the most important job you will ever have. Unfortunately, far to many people in this world have jumped into reproducing without thinking things through and being ready, solely because its an expected thing to do. Your choice op but make sure you take the decision seriously...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7984224


I am taking it seriously because I am also 38.
anonanon
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03/05/2013 01:28 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Not having any children is my one regret. I am a casualty of the times I lived in and did not want to do it alone so I waited....and waited...and waited.

Having children is only as joyous or as miserable as you make it. Some kids are easier than others but so much depends on how you raise them when they are under 6 years old.

So go ahead and have two or three and just make sure you do not let them become little wild screamers and entitled brats as children and you will have civilized teens even with all the teenage hormone-crazed behaviors.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 01:36 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
39 yr old woman, have 2 kids, divorced, I may meet someone who wants a child of his own but I don't think I can do that. I am too worried as it is for the two I have. This world has gone to shit.

My first was planned, my 2nd not, I did not want to bring more children into this messed up world. Being a mother, btw, is infinitely more stressful than anyone will tell you beforehand or anyone can know other than a mother. Think long and hard about it. This, from a mom of 2 beautiful, intelligent, healthy children )no vaccines, abx, nothing), and friend to several women with autistic or asberger's kids or generally difficult and draining kids,

I have no family, it takes a village, I hope you have one.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 01:42 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
39 yr old woman, have 2 kids, divorced, I may meet someone who wants a child of his own but I don't think I can do that. I am too worried as it is for the two I have. This world has gone to shit.

My first was planned, my 2nd not, I did not want to bring more children into this messed up world. Being a mother, btw, is infinitely more stressful than anyone will tell you beforehand or anyone can know other than a mother. Think long and hard about it. This, from a mom of 2 beautiful, intelligent, healthy children )no vaccines, abx, nothing), and friend to several women with autistic or asberger's kids or generally difficult and draining kids,

I have no family, it takes a village, I hope you have one.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17431247


No, I don't have a family.

And I agree with you, it absolutely takes a village (and then some!) to help raise a child.

The longer I sit here and read everyone's replies, the more I realize I am doing the right thing.

Thanks for all replies.
Joyeuxbelle

User ID: 25527566
Australia
03/05/2013 01:49 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


I've never envisioned myself having children of my own. Sure, I played with dolls and things when I was a kid, but never really felt that drive to reproduce as much as my friends did.

I'm 27 and married now, and still feel no urge. I'm worried that kids will ruin my marriage, destroy my body, and turn me into even more of a stress-head than what I am now. What happens if my marriage fails, and I end up struggling as a single parent, unable to provide for my children?

They say that it's all worth it, in the end. Maybe it is for some, but I don't think so for me. People are always telling me I'll change my mind. I haven't for 2 decades now, I'm not sure if I will in future.

I'm glad that I live in an era where my uterus is my own business, and I can do with it whatever I want.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23508092
Australia
03/05/2013 01:52 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...
 Quoting: eyeDR3


Umm, would this reason to have children not be the most selfish and self absorbed reason? Someone choosing to not have children is not selfish, it is them being realistic and true to themselves - and accepting it will not be the easiest path to take in life. To have them for the above, whilst saying how selfish the one above sounds is ... pathetic!!

Always makes me laugh how the breeders claim non breeders are selfish.

Yet ask them why they had them - something like above.
So they are not always alone.
To care for them in old age.
To have a mini me.
Oh the love a unborn, unexistant child who cares not either way will .. GIVE THEM!!
etc, etc.

Personally i feel a person who has them is infact more selfish then the one who realises they probably cannot provide the best life to a child so does not take that path. Knowing they will be alone, knowing they will regret at times. But why does it even have to be a person is selfish as they wont breed to keep their dna in a overpopulated world that u can see how badly it has been destroyed in the last 100 yrs - imagine that in the next 100 since we are 8 times or so more now.

People need to understand that the world is overpopulated and the children being brought into it will not have things easy. And if some chose not to add to this, good for them. And those that want them, if they can afford to suppor them totally themselves without handouts.. again good for them.

Op, you are not selfish. You are listening to your inner voice and not just following like a sheep as they told u this is what u should do to fit in. Who knows, one day you may change your mind ... or you may never. But it is YOUR mind and your body and your life.
ChipModerator
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03/05/2013 01:55 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


Have fun in a state run dilapidated convalescent home when you're old frail lonely and in pain.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

THE PLANET IS FINE! THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKED ~George Carlin RIP

every-citizen
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 01:58 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


Have fun in a state run dilapidated convalescent home when you're old frail lonely and in pain.
 Quoting: Chip



Actually, statements like this are foolish and unqualified.

I've worked in a nursing home and MANY of the residents there had families who NEVER visited them.
ChillyNorth

User ID: 32644118
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03/05/2013 02:02 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
If you have a dog, pretend having to walk it 24/7 while watching that anything it touches is toxic poison and should be avoided. That's a baby all in one.

Now live like that for 2+years.
Bon Apetit.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 02:03 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
If you have a dog, pretend having to walk it 24/7 while watching that anything it touches is toxic poison and should be avoided. That's a baby all in one.

Now live like that for 2+years.
Bon Apetit.
 Quoting: ChillyNorth


That sounds like living in pure hell.
eyeDR3

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03/05/2013 02:04 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
I don't think anybody understood my response.

I was saying it sounded selfish because she was making it seem like they are burdensome. Not having kids because they are a "distraction" or are "parasitic" from your own livelihood means you are either materialistic or haven't come to the realization that there is more than this earth and its dollar.

I was saying not having them to allow your soul to fully pass would not be selfish because ultimately it is your soul that is in control. Having children literally carries your soul and the soul of your mate forward. If every bit of your being is saying you shouldn't have kids, that its your time to go, that isn't selfish, its divinity calling you home.

That better?

hf
For every negativity, create two positives!

~For wolf and moon


Part of a pack one wolf chose to leave
A life like his dreams this wolf chose to weave

On his own in the dark the wolf could not see
Nobody was telling him what to believe

When he questioned what truly made him free
It was always the moonlight guiding thee

~eyeDR3


The sheep may one day find, there was always a wolf inside.

eyebanner
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 02:05 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
I don't think anybody understood my response.

I was saying it sounded selfish because she was making it seem like they are burdensome. Not having kids because they are a "distraction" or are "parasitic" from your own livelihood means you are either materialistic or haven't come to the realization that there is more than this earth and its dollar.

I was saying not having them to allow your soul to fully pass would not be selfish because ultimately it is your soul that is in control. Having children literally carries your soul and the soul of your mate forward. If every bit of your being is saying you shouldn't have kids, that its your time to go, that isn't selfish, its divinity calling you home.

That better?

hf
 Quoting: eyeDR3


Yes, thank you! Now I understand!
ChipModerator
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03/05/2013 02:07 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


Have fun in a state run dilapidated convalescent home when you're old frail lonely and in pain.
 Quoting: Chip



Actually, statements like this are foolish and unqualified.

I've worked in a nursing home and MANY of the residents there had families who NEVER visited them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13376778


You're seriously self absorbed. There is no question that you are unqualified to be a parent.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

THE PLANET IS FINE! THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKED ~George Carlin RIP

every-citizen
eyeDR3

User ID: 5754707
United States
03/05/2013 02:10 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
g0X0YzNzM1QzE2]
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...


Umm, would this reason to have children not be the most selfish and self absorbed reason? Someone choosing to not have children is not selfish, it is them being realistic and true to themselves - and accepting it will not be the easiest path to take in life. To have them for the above, whilst saying how selfish the one above sounds is ... pathetic!!

Always makes me laugh how the breeders claim non breeders are selfish.

Yet ask them why they had them - something like above.
So they are not always alone.
To care for them in old age.
To have a mini me.
Oh the love a unborn, unexistant child who cares not either way will .. GIVE THEM!!
etc, etc.

Personally i feel a person who has them is infact more selfish then the one who realises they probably cannot provide the best life to a child so does not take that path. Knowing they will be alone, knowing they will regret at times. But why does it even have to be a person is selfish as they wont breed to keep their dna in a overpopulated world that u can see how badly it has been destroyed in the last 100 yrs - imagine that in the next 100 since we are 8 times or so more now.

People need to understand that the world is overpopulated and the children being brought into it will not have things easy. And if some chose not to add to this, good for them. And those that want them, if they can afford to suppor them totally themselves without handouts.. again good for them.

Op, you are not selfish. You are listening to your inner voice and not just following like a sheep as they told u this is what u should do to fit in. Who knows, one day you may change your mind ... or you may never. But it is YOUR mind and your body and your life.


"Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?"

Selfish
For every negativity, create two positives!

~For wolf and moon


Part of a pack one wolf chose to leave
A life like his dreams this wolf chose to weave

On his own in the dark the wolf could not see
Nobody was telling him what to believe

When he questioned what truly made him free
It was always the moonlight guiding thee

~eyeDR3


The sheep may one day find, there was always a wolf inside.

eyebanner
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 02:12 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
g0X0YzNzM1QzE2]
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...
 Quoting: eyeDR3


Umm, would this reason to have children not be the most selfish and self absorbed reason? Someone choosing to not have children is not selfish, it is them being realistic and true to themselves - and accepting it will not be the easiest path to take in life. To have them for the above, whilst saying how selfish the one above sounds is ... pathetic!!

Always makes me laugh how the breeders claim non breeders are selfish.

Yet ask them why they had them - something like above.
So they are not always alone.
To care for them in old age.
To have a mini me.
Oh the love a unborn, unexistant child who cares not either way will .. GIVE THEM!!
etc, etc.

Personally i feel a person who has them is infact more selfish then the one who realises they probably cannot provide the best life to a child so does not take that path. Knowing they will be alone, knowing they will regret at times. But why does it even have to be a person is selfish as they wont breed to keep their dna in a overpopulated world that u can see how badly it has been destroyed in the last 100 yrs - imagine that in the next 100 since we are 8 times or so more now.

People need to understand that the world is overpopulated and the children being brought into it will not have things easy. And if some chose not to add to this, good for them. And those that want them, if they can afford to suppor them totally themselves without handouts.. again good for them.

Op, you are not selfish. You are listening to your inner voice and not just following like a sheep as they told u this is what u should do to fit in. Who knows, one day you may change your mind ... or you may never. But it is YOUR mind and your body and your life.


"Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?"

Selfish


Actually, I don't think it's selfish at all.

It's smart.

Unlike most people, I have observed what happens once one has children.

Why have a child just to suffer?

Being a martyr isn't glamorous.
Dr. Lecter

User ID: 34834122
United States
03/05/2013 02:13 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


My wife and I have been married for 24 years now, and we both agree the best decision that we made was not to have children.

I personally believe that having a child in these unstable and turbulent times is the epitome of irresponsibility.
Liberal Logic - Demanding that the government stay out of their bedrooms while insisting on taxpayer funded birth control.
ANHEDONIC

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United States
03/05/2013 02:15 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Male here... As an adolescent I knew that I would not be having any children in this lifetime...

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
ChipModerator
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03/05/2013 02:16 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


My wife and I have been married for 24 years now, and we both agree the best decision that we made was not to have children.

I personally believe that having a child in these unstable and turbulent times is the epitome of irresponsibility.
 Quoting: Dr. Lecter


The history of planet earth is unstable and turbulent. In reality the question is: do I care about me more than I care about humanity?
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

THE PLANET IS FINE! THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKED ~George Carlin RIP

every-citizen
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 13376778
Canada
03/05/2013 02:17 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


My wife and I have been married for 24 years now, and we both agree the best decision that we made was not to have children.

I personally believe that having a child in these unstable and turbulent times is the epitome of irresponsibility.
 Quoting: Dr. Lecter


The history of planet earth is unstable and turbulent. In reality the question is: do I care about me more than I care about humanity?
 Quoting: Chip


Yes.

Unequivocally, yes.
ChipModerator
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03/05/2013 02:21 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


My wife and I have been married for 24 years now, and we both agree the best decision that we made was not to have children.

I personally believe that having a child in these unstable and turbulent times is the epitome of irresponsibility.
 Quoting: Dr. Lecter


The history of planet earth is unstable and turbulent. In reality the question is: do I care about me more than I care about humanity?
 Quoting: Chip


Yes.

Unequivocally, yes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13376778


We all knew your answer before you gave it.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

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