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Not having children.....

 
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 02:23 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Can't imagine life without my kids... sometimes I think it would be nice to rich in terms of the cash they spent out of my wallet, but then the sheer pleasure of seeing them grab and run with their dreams is priceless.
Debauchery

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03/05/2013 02:24 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Whatever works for you.

Some people just aren't meant to be parents. It's definitely not for everyone.

I have two, they're awesome but challenging. It's not easy having other people to look after. You are responsible for them in every way, there's always something to worry about, sometimes worrying to the point of sickness. If you lose your income you're in a real bind, how are you going to provide for them, keep a roof over their heads, feed them? It's a bitch sometimes. It's scary. With the direction things are headed in it's even scarier.

I wouldn't say they suck the life out of me, maybe jut exhaust me at times, the teenager in particular, but she makes me laugh and keeps me company. The little one is a joy, we're BFF's as he says.
And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 02:28 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


When the body clock starts to tick, you'll wanna see that pelican quick, and you'll tirn to your man called rick and start proceedings by sucking his ......nipple (you dirty-minded beasts)
Dr. Lecter
I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science

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03/05/2013 02:31 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


My wife and I have been married for 24 years now, and we both agree the best decision that we made was not to have children.

I personally believe that having a child in these unstable and turbulent times is the epitome of irresponsibility.
 Quoting: Dr. Lecter


The history of planet earth is unstable and turbulent. In reality the question is: do I care about me more than I care about humanity?
 Quoting: Chip


Well, I care enough not to bring another life into this mess.

But I do have to confess. There is not a whole lot of people I do give a shit about right now. I believe literally half of this country is the enemy. So if you're not a like-minded individual, a true constitutional conservative, you're not going to make my Christmas card list if you know what I'm saying.

Last Edited by R.P. McMurphy ® on 03/05/2013 02:36 AM
Liberal Logic: Demanding that the government stay out of your bedroom while insisting they pay for your birth control and abortions.

Liberal Logic: Demanding the right to kill an innocent child as it's being brought into the world while insisting on clemency for a man who has raped, tortured and burned to death a mother and her two teenage daughters.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 02:31 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
I'm pretty new at this mom stuff, I have an 18 month old.

My husband and I really don't make much money but actually its not as expensive as one would think to care for a baby. Never complained about that. Especially with a baby, you can get away with getting gear at thrift shops if absolutely necessary. I think that's going to get harder as he gets older with after school programs, sports, toys, then a car, then college...

As far as our marriage, sometimes caring for the baby can get one sided. That sort of naturally happens. It's something you can work out, but it gets frustrating sometimes. There is less time for the two of us as a couple, but when we do go out, its even more worthwhile.\

That's what I have to say about those aspects.

I never wanted a kid, then one day I got pregnant and had the baby. It's really changed my life in a wonderful way. It's still early, he's so young, but that connection is really quite indescribable. This isn't going to make sense, but, its the BEST thing in the whole world and the WORST thing in the whole world all at the same time. It's great to connect to this little boy and amazing to see them grow and learn and to be part of something that is just so important. The mother/child relationship is so fulfilling and you can hardly compare to any other type of relationship. The bad part is the responsibility of it all, anything that happens to that boy is all on me. You have to step up to the plate and be the child's everything and it can be hard sometimes.

It's up to you OP. Nothing wrong with taking a different life path, one that doesn't include children of your own. But it is pretty darn special.
Debauchery

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03/05/2013 02:34 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


Have fun in a state run dilapidated convalescent home when you're old frail lonely and in pain.
 Quoting: Chip


Some of us will never make it to old age. We have insurance policies that our children are aware of. They want my money.

Help. damned
And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen.
ANHEDONIC

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03/05/2013 02:36 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
When the body clock starts to tick, you'll wanna see that pelican quick, and you'll tirn to your man called rick and start proceedings by sucking his ......nipple (you dirty-minded beasts)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35594931


hahah

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 02:36 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Don't listen to the people calling you negative and selfish, OP. Kids aren't for everyone and there are many people out there with kids that should not have them.

If other people can be presumptuous, then I can be presumptuous as well. Some of the people in this thread are delusional and think having kids was a good choice for them.

I don't understand how it could be argued that not having children is selfish when the resources of the world are finite and each person puts a greater strain on the world. What's selfish is having kids and expecting a village to look after your kids. What's selfish is expecting government handouts to support the family that you can not afford. What's selfish is having kids and living vicariously through them, hoping they can achieve everything that you yourself could not.

If you always want to put yourself last, OP, have kids.
ANHEDONIC

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03/05/2013 02:38 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
But I do have to confess. There is not a whole lot of people I do give a shit about right now. I believe literally half of this country is the enemy. So if you're not a like-minded individual, a true constitutional conservative, you're not going to make my Christmas card list if you know what I'm saying.
 Quoting: Dr. Lecter


*glances at your username & avatar*

damned

Last Edited by ANHEDONIC on 03/05/2013 02:39 AM

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 02:48 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
When the body clock starts to tick, you'll wanna see that pelican quick, and you'll tirn to your man called rick and start proceedings by sucking his ......nipple (you dirty-minded beasts)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35594931


:hahah:
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


Oh what hou didnt laugh at that? I'd stay away from having a kid then,they cant transplant humor.

Ayy yay yay ;)
Dr. Lecter
I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science

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03/05/2013 03:04 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
But I do have to confess. There is not a whole lot of people I do give a shit about right now. I believe literally half of this country is the enemy. So if you're not a like-minded individual, a true constitutional conservative, you're not going to make my Christmas card list if you know what I'm saying.
 Quoting: Dr. Lecter


*glances at your username & avatar*

damned
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


...and your point is....?
Liberal Logic: Demanding that the government stay out of your bedroom while insisting they pay for your birth control and abortions.

Liberal Logic: Demanding the right to kill an innocent child as it's being brought into the world while insisting on clemency for a man who has raped, tortured and burned to death a mother and her two teenage daughters.
ANHEDONIC

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United States
03/05/2013 03:07 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
...and your point is....?
 Quoting: Dr. Lecter


That it was kinda creepy reading your cryptic wording after looking at your avatar.... That's all.

peace

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Wayne interessierts

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Luxembourg
03/05/2013 03:12 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Einstein was an unplanned pregnancy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35598168


huh? in a time wehn there were no failproof Birth control?


old mr. einstein lays naked on the floor minding his own business, when suddenly the wife came in tripped fell and landed on his dick?
Hemp is the devil's lettuce
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 03:17 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
I'm the opposite OP. I always knew I wanted to have children. I have 2 both now almost fully grown. We went without ourselves at time, but never did I regret my choice. The love you have for your own child is unlike any other love. Parenting is rewarding and at times frustrating and the most difficult job you will ever do. Especially if you do it right.

These 2 beautiful souls are now, along with my husband, my best friends. I am proud of them for being good people. If you don't think you can do without, don't think you can deal with frustration or mess, don't think you can raise good people, then don't do it. It is your choice and no one knows how you feel about these things except you. Personally I would do it all again if I could. Just have to wait now for grand kids. (Maybe not for about another 10 years or so though).
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 03:22 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...
 Quoting: eyeDR3





No... The selfish ones are the motherfuckers who are cranking out kids, in a world that is rapidly deteriorating, and headed for indescribable misery.

You fucking selfish ASSHOLES, who don't give a shit that you are ratcheting up the coming misery factor to absolute maximum, are the ones that he Powers That Suck should eliminate first. They should spare the people who did not ADD to the time bomb.

You idiots won't be happy until you are waist deep in used Huggies diapers. And even THEN, you will be celebrating the latest redundant little clone of yourself, as if there was a shortage of morons on the planet.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 03:24 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
Don't listen to the people calling you negative and selfish, OP. Kids aren't for everyone and there are many people out there with kids that should not have them.

If other people can be presumptuous, then I can be presumptuous as well. Some of the people in this thread are delusional and think having kids was a good choice for them.

I don't understand how it could be argued that not having children is selfish when the resources of the world are finite and each person puts a greater strain on the world. What's selfish is having kids and expecting a village to look after your kids. What's selfish is expecting government handouts to support the family that you can not afford. What's selfish is having kids and living vicariously through them, hoping they can achieve everything that you yourself could not.

If you always want to put yourself last, OP, have kids.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1447583


THIS ^^^

The selfish ones are the ones who don't CARE what the masses and masses and masses of IDIOTS are doing to the planet.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 03:32 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
I'm never having kids, neither is my lady (at least with me!) She feels exactly like me and we are both in mid-late 30's.


All I can say is

VHEMT


[link to www.vhemt.org]
(the website of The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement)


"MAY WE LIVE LONG AND DIE OUT"
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 03:34 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
54/female married happily for over 26 years now.

I paid lots of attention to my friends and family as a teen and knew kids were not for me.
My husband was from a huge family (10 kids)and his parents made the older kids raise the younger siblings, so he has done enough diapers and baby sitting to last 4 lifetimes.

I agree the world is a crap place anymore and very few kids get to learn much of anything valuable so chances are we won;t see anymore world saving brilliant Einstein kids born and the entire planet is generally dumbing down.

I also have a pretty hot temper, so I knew that circumstances like having a kid of my own do something and rebel over something and they try to flip me off, or wreck the family car or something stupid, I knew I had the temper to push their head right through a wall after sacrificing everything and my body to make a kid.

No way, no how.

People say I might regret it when I grow even older but most kids just put their elderly into senior care facilities and only visit them once a week for an hour or so, if they are lucky.

No way, No how!

The only thing I liked about the thought of having a kid or two was the huge tax deductions they are worth but anymore the care, feeding and required insurance coverages until they are something like 21 yrs old now due to new policies....well

No way! No how!

At 54, I still have a fairly ok body and no one borrowing the family car. I can sleep all day, have very few errands and making dinner for 2 is a breeze and you can eat much better without a housefull to feed on a tight budget.
2 nights ago we had a couple of 3 lb lobsters on the back deck with wine at 6pm. If we had 3 or 4 kids no way we could afforded those kind of romantic moments.
So, I can't say if kids actually can ruin a good marriage but I can tell you there are going to be many things you can't do or afford as a huge family that you can as just a lifelong romantic couple of just 2 people. :)

I also don't really care to recreate my DNA, I mean, I am smart and not bad looking person but I don't care if I make a copy person to leave on the earth after my time is over.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 03:41 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
My children have no need to exist. They are problem and pain free.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 04:00 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
as far as the USA goes, this is the worst time in history to have kids unless maybe your rich. Then you might have options to get them out of the country when the time comes.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 04:05 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
I'm never having kids, neither is my lady (at least with me!) She feels exactly like me and we are both in mid-late 30's.


All I can say is

VHEMT


[link to www.vhemt.org]
(the website of The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement)


"MAY WE LIVE LONG AND DIE OUT"
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34541945


Lmao
goodmockingbird
In the Heart of the EF 5 Tornado Belt

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03/05/2013 04:22 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
50+ year old female here.

Holding fast to my resolve not to reproduce is the single best long term resolution I have ever accomplished.

Back when I was in my 20s there was incredible pressure upon all women to do the expected cultural norm and reproduce.

Never wanted kids, had zero interest in them.

Others told me I would later regret passing up the 'opportunity'.

Never. Not in the least. Every day I am immensely grateful to whatever Power gave me the fortitude to stand my ground and remain childfree.

For those who say I will die old and alone, absolutely Yes! And I embrace it. Solitude at the end is natural.

Lonely? I can make as much or as little connection with likeminded people wherever I am.

Which is better? To end up like many people today with grown offspring who come visit you occassionally as some 'duty' they resent the hell out of, and scheme how to split your assets as soon as you croak...

... or to have planned ahead to live out my days in financial comfort, knowing that my estate will be left to provide wellbeing for animals at the local animal shelter?

I know that I feel great peace about my latter years.

On the other hand, I have many, many aquaintances in my age cohort who have 'failure to launch' grown offspring leaching off of them, while dropping off yet another generation of hungry mouths for Grandma to support.

It's all a Quality vs Quantity equation.

My husband and I enjoy great quality of life.

Women of my age cohort often enjoy great quantity of life, that is kids and grandkids living off of them, but no peace, no comfort, only endless stress.
In Memory of Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty: American Heroes, Abandoned and Betrayed.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 04:26 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
having kids or not really isnt one of those things you can navel-gaze over much. its not like any other decision you will ever make. until you become a parent, there is nothing at all in your experience as a human that you have for reference as comparison. pets? haha! no

if you decide not to and end up regretting it, well, tough. life only comes along once

but if you do have kids, you never regret it. well, not unless you are missing a soul. once you create your own flesh and blood, you love them completely. through thick and think. not in the temporary, fleeting romantic way, obviously

once you have a child, sure you may think every so often 'omg they are hard work', but make no mistake, you never regret having them, deep in your heart. it just becomes instinct, you have no control over it. you are changed, for the better, forever. better in the sense that your life has progressed, evolved beyond the simple life of me, myself and i. it enriches you like no other experience. it gives meaning to life. it makes thing make sense

this is not to say non-parents live a pointless life with no genuine progression, but they do by contrast with parents. i know, parents know - because we can now make that comparison

sure, we could whatever the fuck we liked before, but that kind of becomes a non-issue after the little mites arrive. you can still have an actual life after you become a parent. its not like you are bound and gagged 24/7 for the rest of your life. this is how non-parents imagine it to be, but obviously its not

think of kids as an enhancement that is worth the effort, not a loss or a negative, which is another assumption of the non-parent

its a bit like making an omelette. you gotta crack eggs or forever live without eating an omelette

thing is, until you have children, you have no idea what the rewards are. there is nothing you can do in life that is quite so rewarding, ultimately, at the end of another long hard day. after all the responsibility. after all the cost. after all the worry

when you see a parent 'suffering', you only see it from a non-parents point-of-view, which is highly uninformed. thats not a criticism, thats a fact

its piss or get off the pot, simples

i am parent. before that i was like you OP - not a parent. i have the benefit of experience of both sides of the 'leap of faith'
goodmockingbird
In the Heart of the EF 5 Tornado Belt

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03/05/2013 04:48 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
but if you do have kids, you never regret it. well, not unless you are missing a soul. once you create your own flesh and blood, you love them completely.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812


No.

People with deep and wise souls do reproduce. Out of the best of reasons. Out of duty. Out of hope. Out of the mistaken belief that they will magically come to feel some existential love for a child once they produce it.

How do I know this?

Because my own parents would deeply good, wise, and thoughtful people who did this.

I had deep and candid conversations with them as they each died of cancer.

Did either or both of them regret having me? My mother brought up the topic, not me.

She spoke with great clarity, compassion, and candor.

They came to respect and cherish me. They did everything right and good by me.

But that mystical connection was not there. Not at birth, not until it was time for my mother to lay it all down and die.

She and my father both were not cut out to have children. They were not selfish people, not in the least. But they were "self contained" people. Whole and complete without a child!

I know this, gut deep.

My job is to decently and honorably shut the door and turn out the lights when my days draw to an end.

Every living thing has a life span. My genetic heritage has lived out its prime, and I will lay it down appropritately, and leave my tangible estate to taking care of animals that suffer.

There is no sadness or tragedy here; this is a good thing, full, wise and complete!

Self-contained does not mean selfish.

Self-contained means whole and complete!
In Memory of Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty: American Heroes, Abandoned and Betrayed.
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 04:55 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
...
but if you do have kids, you never regret it. well, not unless you are missing a soul.
...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

plenty do - look at adoption stats.

once you create your own flesh and blood, you love them completely.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

plenty don't love their kids. There's a lot of abuse goes on. Again you are transposing your own views and experiences to everyone.

it just becomes instinct, you have no control over it. you are changed, for the better, forever.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

I am sorry that you cannot see my point of view. I have no such instinct.

better in the sense that your life has progressed, evolved beyond the simple life of me, myself and i.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

nope - my life has evolved beyond me myself and i without having to pollute the planet with more spawn.

it enriches you like no other experience. it gives meaning to life. it makes thing make sense
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

so you admit kids give a meaning to your life. Well, not to mine. I have enough meaning already thanks.


this is not to say non-parents live a pointless life with no genuine progression, but they do by contrast with parents. i know, parents know - because we can now make that comparison
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

from your point of view, again. I do NOT view my life's point as replacing myself with a replica to consume in my place as a point. Advancing science, human thought, love and enjoyment are what does it for me.

sure, we could whatever the fuck we liked before,
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

and I will always be able to. Always. You won't.

but that kind of becomes a non-issue after the little mites arrive.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

compromise?

you can still have an actual life after you become a parent. its not like you are bound and gagged 24/7 for the rest of your life. this is how non-parents imagine it to be, but obviously its not
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

yes, obviously. But you lose a lot of freedoms.

thing is, until you have children, you have no idea what the rewards are.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34765812

I know from friends who have kids what pleases them about their kids - e.g. watching them learn, working out tricks for themselves to try manipulate their parents etc. BUT it just does not interest me at all.

VHEMT for me!
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 11:37 AM
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Re: Not having children.....
54, female, zero children, zero regrets. Screw society's expectations - got fixed at 40, wished I did it decades earlier. Never married either (see above), though have been in a happy monogamous heterosexual relationship for 12 years. Check this out:
[link to thebritgirl.com]

did I mention the joys of advanced education, world travel, freedom? There's plenty of kids needing love in the world when I get a hankerin' for little 'uns..
Charlott

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03/05/2013 11:55 AM

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Re: Not having children.....
I am 24, no kids, and also never plan on having children as well. You are not alone.
Charlotte :)
Anonymous Coward
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03/05/2013 12:48 PM
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Re: Not having children.....
I had a bunch of kids. The first were a "surprise"...single, min wage job, complete jackass of a boyfriend who I left when I found out. Then found out four months later it was twins. I worked multiple jobs and found a way to do it without any gov't help, but it was hard. Then went on to have three more, all planned. I worked full time, was going to school (online after they were in bed), to try to "have it all"...kids and career. Turns out I am compelled to disengage from "the game" which is rigged and all that career effort was ultimately to enrich jackals.

The reason I'm smiling as I write this is that what I DO have is my family. My greatest pride, love and accomplishment in this life. Three are adults...kind, smart, self-sufficient, respectful and deferential to their mother. I am so proud of them and what they have become. All the years of effort, time, etc., produced amazing humans with unlimited potential. One recently had a baby, so the grandparent role is a new source of joy.

Two are still at home and turning out to be great people, as well. My formula was simple...during the first four years of life, it is critical to infuse respect of parents into the child. And conduct yourself respectfully, a role model they can always look up to, to keep them on track through risky middle and high school ages. I've produced zero drug addicts, criminals or single moms using that simple formula.

The choice to have kids or not is certainly a personal one. I'm just here to say that if you are willing to expend proper positive effort and shed things in your life that could harm your standing in their eyes, parenthood is joyful and easy.
Rose
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03/05/2013 01:14 PM
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Re: Not having children.....
Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?

I am STRONGLY considering not having a child, ever, even though I'm female.

Most people think I'm crazy and tell me I'll regret my old age if I never have a kid.

Please share your wisdom, opinions and real life experiences regarding this topic.

TIA!
 Quoting: Broken... 13376778


This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...
 Quoting: eyeDR3





No... The selfish ones are the motherfuckers who are cranking out kids, in a world that is rapidly deteriorating, and headed for indescribable misery.

You fucking selfish ASSHOLES, who don't give a shit that you are ratcheting up the coming misery factor to absolute maximum, are the ones that he Powers That Suck should eliminate first. They should spare the people who did not ADD to the time bomb.

You idiots won't be happy until you are waist deep in used Huggies diapers. And even THEN, you will be celebrating the latest redundant little clone of yourself, as if there was a shortage of morons on the planet.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35573363


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AlcoholicRunner

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03/05/2013 01:19 PM
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Re: Not having children.....
39 yr old woman, have 2 kids, divorced, I may meet someone who wants a child of his own but I don't think I can do that. I am too worried as it is for the two I have. This world has gone to shit.

My first was planned, my 2nd not, I did not want to bring more children into this messed up world. Being a mother, btw, is infinitely more stressful than anyone will tell you beforehand or anyone can know other than a mother. Think long and hard about it. This, from a mom of 2 beautiful, intelligent, healthy children )no vaccines, abx, nothing), and friend to several women with autistic or asberger's kids or generally difficult and draining kids,

I have no family, it takes a village, I hope you have one.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17431247


No, I don't have a family.

And I agree with you, it absolutely takes a village (and then some!) to help raise a child.

The longer I sit here and read everyone's replies, the more I realize I am doing the right thing.

Thanks for all replies.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13376778


I can relate to not having family support nearby... I felt like a single father while my wife worked long hours. That's why we only have one kid. It is a lot of work during first few years. Without family support, you'll just go insane.

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