Not having children.....

good for you OP! may you get laid alot in the future.

Don't fall for the BS.
If you are a smart woman, reproduce.

Making/raising smart babies is the only hope for the planet.

Einstein was an unplanned pregnancy.

Nothing is ever guaranteed in life. Children are a blessing and can truly enrich your life, but they are a lot of work too. Just go with the flow. Make your decisions as you need to :)

I am a 44 year old woman with no kids.
I have not regretted my decision yet.
Being a parent is like a vocation. You should really feel CALLED to do it. Don't do it just because everyone else is, or it is what you are supposed to do.

Thank you, everyone, for your responses.

I don't know how to explain this, other than to say it's a ''gut feeling'' that having a child is a pathway to disaster.

As a teacher, I see what parents go through and it's really quite unappealing.

Of course during holidays or Kodak moments I rethink my stance, but 90% of what I see and hear from moms and dads is utterly mundane and off-putting.

As a female, I have tried to ''fit in'' and feel the way society tells me I should (think about our baby obsessed culture and the obsession of celebrity moms). No matter how hard I try, I keep coming back to the feeling of HELL NO!

This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...

What you wrote doesn't make any sense.

5 kid's, and 4 grand children, and other than a few misstep's, it has been great!!!Love my big family!!!

Im a 38 year old female no children and am still undecided. Time is running out for me but with the state of the world is a child even a smart option?
As above poster said you must really know that a child is what you want, as it should be treated as the most important job you will ever have. Unfortunately, far to many people in this world have jumped into reproducing without thinking things through and being ready, solely because its an expected thing to do. Your choice op but make sure you take the decision seriously...

I am taking it seriously because I am also 38.

Not having any children is my one regret. I am a casualty of the times I lived in and did not want to do it alone so I waited....and waited...and waited.

Having children is only as joyous or as miserable as you make it. Some kids are easier than others but so much depends on how you raise them when they are under 6 years old.

So go ahead and have two or three and just make sure you do not let them become little wild screamers and entitled brats as children and you will have civilized teens even with all the teenage hormone-crazed behaviors.

39 yr old woman, have 2 kids, divorced, I may meet someone who wants a child of his own but I don't think I can do that. I am too worried as it is for the two I have. This world has gone to shit.

My first was planned, my 2nd not, I did not want to bring more children into this messed up world. Being a mother, btw, is infinitely more stressful than anyone will tell you beforehand or anyone can know other than a mother. Think long and hard about it. This, from a mom of 2 beautiful, intelligent, healthy children )no vaccines, abx, nothing), and friend to several women with autistic or asberger's kids or generally difficult and draining kids,

I have no family, it takes a village, I hope you have one.

No, I don't have a family.

And I agree with you, it absolutely takes a village (and then some!) to help raise a child.

The longer I sit here and read everyone's replies, the more I realize I am doing the right thing.

Thanks for all replies.

I've never envisioned myself having children of my own. Sure, I played with dolls and things when I was a kid, but never really felt that drive to reproduce as much as my friends did.

I'm 27 and married now, and still feel no urge. I'm worried that kids will ruin my marriage, destroy my body, and turn me into even more of a stress-head than what I am now. What happens if my marriage fails, and I end up struggling as a single parent, unable to provide for my children?

They say that it's all worth it, in the end. Maybe it is for some, but I don't think so for me. People are always telling me I'll change my mind. I haven't for 2 decades now, I'm not sure if I will in future.

I'm glad that I live in an era where my uterus is my own business, and I can do with it whatever I want.

Umm, would this reason to have children not be the most selfish and self absorbed reason? Someone choosing to not have children is not selfish, it is them being realistic and true to themselves - and accepting it will not be the easiest path to take in life. To have them for the above, whilst saying how selfish the one above sounds is ... pathetic!!

Always makes me laugh how the breeders claim non breeders are selfish.

Yet ask them why they had them - something like above.
So they are not always alone.
To care for them in old age.
To have a mini me.
Oh the love a unborn, unexistant child who cares not either way will .. GIVE THEM!!
etc, etc.

Personally i feel a person who has them is infact more selfish then the one who realises they probably cannot provide the best life to a child so does not take that path. Knowing they will be alone, knowing they will regret at times. But why does it even have to be a person is selfish as they wont breed to keep their dna in a overpopulated world that u can see how badly it has been destroyed in the last 100 yrs - imagine that in the next 100 since we are 8 times or so more now.

People need to understand that the world is overpopulated and the children being brought into it will not have things easy. And if some chose not to add to this, good for them. And those that want them, if they can afford to suppor them totally themselves without handouts.. again good for them.

Op, you are not selfish. You are listening to your inner voice and not just following like a sheep as they told u this is what u should do to fit in. Who knows, one day you may change your mind ... or you may never. But it is YOUR mind and your body and your life.

Actually, statements like this are foolish and unqualified.

I've worked in a nursing home and MANY of the residents there had families who NEVER visited them.

If you have a dog, pretend having to walk it 24/7 while watching that anything it touches is toxic poison and should be avoided. That's a baby all in one.

Now live like that for 2+years.
Bon Apetit.

That sounds like living in pure hell.

I don't think anybody understood my response.

I was saying it sounded selfish because she was making it seem like they are burdensome. Not having kids because they are a "distraction" or are "parasitic" from your own livelihood means you are either materialistic or haven't come to the realization that there is more than this earth and its dollar.

I was saying not having them to allow your soul to fully pass would not be selfish because ultimately it is your soul that is in control. Having children literally carries your soul and the soul of your mate forward. If every bit of your being is saying you shouldn't have kids, that its your time to go, that isn't selfish, its divinity calling you home.

That better?

Yes, thank you! Now I understand!

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This truly sounds selfish.

I would say not having kids allows your soul to fully pass because your energy ends with you. With children, they become a part of you and carry you on. Its something you don't understand until you have children truly.

If you make it an issue of yourself you are a slumbering soul...


Umm, would this reason to have children not be the most selfish and self absorbed reason? Someone choosing to not have children is not selfish, it is them being realistic and true to themselves - and accepting it will not be the easiest path to take in life. To have them for the above, whilst saying how selfish the one above sounds is ... pathetic!!

Always makes me laugh how the breeders claim non breeders are selfish.

Yet ask them why they had them - something like above.
So they are not always alone.
To care for them in old age.
To have a mini me.
Oh the love a unborn, unexistant child who cares not either way will .. GIVE THEM!!
etc, etc.

Personally i feel a person who has them is infact more selfish then the one who realises they probably cannot provide the best life to a child so does not take that path. Knowing they will be alone, knowing they will regret at times. But why does it even have to be a person is selfish as they wont breed to keep their dna in a overpopulated world that u can see how badly it has been destroyed in the last 100 yrs - imagine that in the next 100 since we are 8 times or so more now.

People need to understand that the world is overpopulated and the children being brought into it will not have things easy. And if some chose not to add to this, good for them. And those that want them, if they can afford to suppor them totally themselves without handouts.. again good for them.

Op, you are not selfish. You are listening to your inner voice and not just following like a sheep as they told u this is what u should do to fit in. Who knows, one day you may change your mind ... or you may never. But it is YOUR mind and your body and your life.


"Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?"

Selfish

Umm, would this reason to have children not be the most selfish and self absorbed reason? Someone choosing to not have children is not selfish, it is them being realistic and true to themselves - and accepting it will not be the easiest path to take in life. To have them for the above, whilst saying how selfish the one above sounds is ... pathetic!!

Always makes me laugh how the breeders claim non breeders are selfish.

Yet ask them why they had them - something like above.
So they are not always alone.
To care for them in old age.
To have a mini me.
Oh the love a unborn, unexistant child who cares not either way will .. GIVE THEM!!
etc, etc.

Personally i feel a person who has them is infact more selfish then the one who realises they probably cannot provide the best life to a child so does not take that path. Knowing they will be alone, knowing they will regret at times. But why does it even have to be a person is selfish as they wont breed to keep their dna in a overpopulated world that u can see how badly it has been destroyed in the last 100 yrs - imagine that in the next 100 since we are 8 times or so more now.

People need to understand that the world is overpopulated and the children being brought into it will not have things easy. And if some chose not to add to this, good for them. And those that want them, if they can afford to suppor them totally themselves without handouts.. again good for them.

Op, you are not selfish. You are listening to your inner voice and not just following like a sheep as they told u this is what u should do to fit in. Who knows, one day you may change your mind ... or you may never. But it is YOUR mind and your body and your life.


"Considering not having children at all.

Is it true that kids ruin marriages, wreck your finances and generally suck the pleasure out of life for their parents?"

Selfish


Actually, I don't think it's selfish at all.

It's smart.

Unlike most people, I have observed what happens once one has children.

Why have a child just to suffer?

Being a martyr isn't glamorous.

My wife and I have been married for 24 years now, and we both agree the best decision that we made was not to have children.

I personally believe that having a child in these unstable and turbulent times is the epitome of irresponsibility.

Male here... As an adolescent I knew that I would not be having any children in this lifetime...

Yes.

Unequivocally, yes.

Can't imagine life without my kids... sometimes I think it would be nice to rich in terms of the cash they spent out of my wallet, but then the sheer pleasure of seeing them grab and run with their dreams is priceless.

Whatever works for you.

Some people just aren't meant to be parents. It's definitely not for everyone.

I have two, they're awesome but challenging. It's not easy having other people to look after. You are responsible for them in every way, there's always something to worry about, sometimes worrying to the point of sickness. If you lose your income you're in a real bind, how are you going to provide for them, keep a roof over their heads, feed them? It's a bitch sometimes. It's scary. With the direction things are headed in it's even scarier.

I wouldn't say they suck the life out of me, maybe jut exhaust me at times, the teenager in particular, but she makes me laugh and keeps me company. The little one is a joy, we're BFF's as he says.

When the body clock starts to tick, you'll wanna see that pelican quick, and you'll tirn to your man called rick and start proceedings by sucking his ......nipple (you dirty-minded beasts)

Well, I care enough not to bring another life into this mess.

But I do have to confess. There is not a whole lot of people I do give a shit about right now. I believe literally half of this country is the enemy. So if you're not a like-minded individual, a true constitutional conservative, you're not going to make my Christmas card list if you know what I'm saying.

Last Edited by Mike Ehrmantraut on 03/05/2013 02:36 AM