Wife from Hell

Haha! I read this joke a couple years ago. It's a funny one. Nice post.

Sadly, there are women just like that!

Made me laugh!

sliding through a red light in not the old brittain for the MIR EYE YACHT club departure. by the tool factory (hahahaha). In the white dress. Party with Steve and Paul and Kelly (Harington) oh is it Bristol Real Estate Appraisal on Mitchell and Dave (yeah all of them, high Nate).

Pulled over....no ticket putin though. (LOL)

Oh is that Iraq dangling from your nose.

Yeah ignore my loud radio.

Nice female cop.

(everyone read Born Under The Black Ensign) and you betcha its a Tom Cruise moment.

Mars is in control. Spirit? Yeah its not for Range Rover's anymore.

Did I ever tell you about the potatoe that I nuked too much and what color the outside was and how much it shrank and gee that mass changed too and the inside went from solid matter to plasma to vapor to gone. totally just a hard outside crust.

Hay can I teach Geophysics now or what.



Anyway that was the fate of other planets. Don't let it be yours.

Earth? Yeah, I'm still on it.

Hay NASA daughter from the beginning still on earth, wonder why.

Prolly because there is nowhere better to be.

Baked Beans

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I re leased all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went
to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.& nbsp;

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more.. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!


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You got me to crack a smile.

Damn you.









j/k hehe

Loved it!

Dear OP, i like your adorable, cute and funny avatar and i like the wise sentence "...where thought goes energy flows..." and i like it, that you often share humorous content with us. :-)

Thank you for the kind words :-)

NOOOOOOOO

Intelligence is meaningless without loyalty.

Thanks OP.

Officer: Sir, what's the hurry at 2AM?

Driver: I'm late for an important lecture.

Officer: What lecture?

Driver: The one I always get, when I've been at the Bar till 2AM.