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To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.

 
Cebeij
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User ID: 34591947
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03/09/2013 09:01 PM

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To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I'm gonna lighten the load on this forum. ITs all too DOOMSDAY Here.

I had a girlfriend when I was 23 who I would rip ass consistently. I loved to do this. I was free to emit the toxins my body was ridding from the horrendous Monsanto food culture.

No my currently lady I've been with for 4 years is different. Its almost sin to fart infront of her. This causes much uncomfortable moments I must say. Having to run out of the room to release some 50 lbs of pressure can get tedious.

So one day we are walking our dogs and she thought she could slip a SBD on the walk. What happens next shocked me. She full on farted blowing my eardrums out. I rush of excitement grew over me. Was this the act of war? Was this the first bomb that would cause a violent rupture hense forth? I think so.

I berated her for doing so because that's all she ever gave me for my attempts at flatulation near her.

Since this moment the talk of farts has cooled off, its still not proper of course to do so near her, but we let them slip more often. 3 years later. JESUS CHRIST LET ME RIP IT OK>!

Thanks for listening, I'm going to go fart now.

1rof1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32902677
United States
03/09/2013 09:03 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
your girlfriend is a fucking pig
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24847539
New Zealand
03/09/2013 09:06 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
that blows man...

sounds like your girlfriend is being a little fartocritical.
Anonymous Coward
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03/09/2013 09:08 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
your girlfriend is a fucking pig
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32902677


LOLbanana2
Cebeij (OP)

User ID: 34591947
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03/09/2013 09:08 PM

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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I'm flabbergasted to say the least.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 740208
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03/09/2013 09:08 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
that blows man...

sounds like your girlfriend is being a little fartocritical.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24847539


and LOL again banana2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25050963
United States
03/09/2013 09:11 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
Reminds me of once my wife, our ten month daughter, Cathy, and I were shopping in Wal-Mart. I cut a big but silent fart. My wife almost instantly said, "Tom, why don't you meet us at the check out. I've got to gho change Cathy's diaper." She was quite surprised to find our little girl had on a clean diaper.
Anonymous Coward
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03/09/2013 09:11 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
Sounds like a gas OP.
Cebeij (OP)

User ID: 34591947
United States
03/09/2013 09:18 PM

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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
Reminds me of once my wife, our ten month daughter, Cathy, and I were shopping in Wal-Mart. I cut a big but silent fart. My wife almost instantly said, "Tom, why don't you meet us at the check out. I've got to gho change Cathy's diaper." She was quite surprised to find our little girl had on a clean diaper.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25050963


haahahahaah
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3960495
United States
03/09/2013 09:31 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
Cant believe women fart. So gross!
Brad Daylight

User ID: 34384416
United States
03/09/2013 09:33 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I fart as loud as I can and sometimes I try to contort my body so it extends the time of the fart.

They rarely smell bad, if anything at all.

When my girlfriend farts, it is silent but it smells like rotten eggs and dead animals.

I call her "stinky" now, LOL
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Have a nice day, may God bless you :D
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13137091
Germany
03/09/2013 09:35 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
You better go checkout that dirty underwear skid mark thread.
Maybe you could learn a thing or two
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1604806
Canada
03/09/2013 09:53 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
why do nen like to talk about this stuff?
Cebeij (OP)

User ID: 34591947
United States
03/09/2013 09:56 PM

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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
why do nen like to talk about this stuff?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1604806


Why don't women?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35682278
United States
03/09/2013 09:57 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
Two words op: Dutch Oven
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35414386
United States
03/09/2013 09:59 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I just did fart... It smelled like roses and my wife sticks her nose in my crotch every time... -- really! -- smells like red roses.
Cebeij (OP)

User ID: 34591947
United States
03/09/2013 10:08 PM

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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
Two words op: Dutch Oven
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35682278

Soon the treaty will be lifted. Soon.

butt886
Anonymous Coward
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Belgium
03/09/2013 10:09 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I like your writing style.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25781251
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03/09/2013 10:09 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
My wife and I compete against each other for the best farts. Never had that problem here!
Cebeij (OP)

User ID: 34591947
United States
03/09/2013 10:59 PM

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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I like your writing style.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35850059


you're far and few. Thanks
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16591630
United States
03/09/2013 11:01 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
till death do us fart
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34567508
United States
03/09/2013 11:04 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
Cant believe women fart. So gross!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3960495


Yea shit disgusts me, stick to queefing
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2724267
United States
03/09/2013 11:12 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
Everybody does it...even the dog...
Cebeij (OP)

User ID: 34591947
United States
03/09/2013 11:19 PM

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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I ferociously fart frequently for fast action relief.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35851954
United States
03/09/2013 11:21 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I like to be in front of a couple of doublewide ebt slags and let one rip in the shopping aisle. I never buy ice cream or cake or any of that shiite , just wander down the aisle pretending in my head that I am a indian chief . Chief Raging Ass Wind ))
CleverMoniker
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03/09/2013 11:47 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
I was lying in bed with my girl, we were having a somewhat serious conversation, I forget what about. I held her face in my hands, looked deep into her eyes, and told her I was so sorry. Her face suddenly got very serious and worried looking. She asked why I was sorry. Then I let out a 5 second long fart.

She almost pissed herself she was laughing so hard.

I love my girl.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27980400
United States
03/09/2013 11:57 PM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
i wouldn't if I were you
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17338098
United States
03/10/2013 12:01 AM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
OP if you're not a writer you should be! You're good at it!
Cebeij (OP)

User ID: 34591947
United States
03/10/2013 12:52 AM

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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
No I'm not, but enjoy writing it.
Cebeij (OP)

User ID: 34591947
United States
03/10/2013 12:55 AM

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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
No I'm not, but enjoy writing it. There were a lot of spelling errors. But glad the message was well received.
 Quoting: Cebeij
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20574169
United States
03/10/2013 12:57 AM
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Re: To Fart in Front of Your Lady or Not to.
PULL MY FINGER

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