Ok try this...put aside anything you believe about what Christianity is, just consider the possibility that Jesus is God in the flesh and he came to redeem us from our sins. Quietly sit in prayer, humble yourself and speak from your heart and ask him to reveal himself to you in some way. Wait and watch what happens, it may not happen right away, but you're going to experience something in your life that will direct you to him. It might be subtle or very in your face, but it's going to happen if you're open to it. Good luck.