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Need some advice... please

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8433580
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03/11/2013 02:40 AM
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Need some advice... please
Well, where to start. I have a niece who just started staying here, the thing is she wanted to go visit her "other mother" in Kansas for a few weeks. Well, turns out, she went kinda nutty up there, and her mom wants to bring her back. I am kind of feeling largely intimidated by all this.
My sister raised her since she was little, so she is adopted. She has autism, and violent outbursts. So she wigged on her mama up there, and she can't handle her either. I thought at least she would be good for a few weeks. No, not the case.

She ran off walking in the big city up there, and her mom said she can't handle that. She has big problems mentally. I am wondering how she will be when I get her back. Her mental shot is coming due again. I am wondering if she should take it a little early, since she is already wigging out. How in the heck did I ever get myself in all this. I was too nice to put her on the street. No one in my family, wants to take care of her.
Gaah, I am not looking forward to this at all. Do any of you know how to handle a teenager with severe issues?
texmich

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03/11/2013 02:48 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
beer2 anybody?
texmich

User ID: 11346886
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03/11/2013 03:07 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
beer2 Cmon half the time all you guys act like yall are freakn dr. phil and now yall cant help this lady with her problem,lol

Last Edited by texmich on 03/11/2013 03:08 AM
Anonymous Coward
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03/11/2013 03:08 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Wow. Well, just based on common sense, I would think you definitely need to do a couple of things. Number one is find out as much as you can about her actual mental "condition". If your health insurance will let you see a counselor, GO. If you have to pay for your own visit, go anyway if you can afford it, just to find out some facts.

You will probably need to learn how to navigate "Social Services" in your state and county. Ask somebody who uses the system what the ropes are, you don't have time for trial and error approach.

As for your niece, if yo can get her hooked on smoothies you can sneak all sorts of healthy foods in there. Get her off sodas...provide all sorts of alternatives that have NO SUGAR AND NO ASPARTAME. No diet soda!!! If you can get her to take a vitamin pill, that would be great. Try to provide as much of her diet organic if possible. I know it's expensive but sometimes it's just borderline malnutrition that makes them weird out. Try eating cookies for breakfast, diet soda all morning, a few chips and a candy bar for lunch, and french fries and a soda for dinner, with poptarts and skittles for dessert, and then tell me how YOU feel...

You will need to be clear about your guidelines and the consequences for not adhering to them. Give her lots of leeway but don't let her cross your lines once you have conveyed your wishes. It's YOUR home. Reassure her a lot and give her as many hugs as she seems willing to tolerate. Really, who ever gets enough appreciation and reassurance?

Good luck and please let us know how it goes. Keep reminding yourself to breathe. Know that you will be tested. Try to get her interested in something wholesome and creative that will keep her mind off her problems. It could be art, or jewelry-making or music. Sports is a good thing too.
Anonymous Coward
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03/11/2013 03:08 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Sry, it just took me so long to type it.
Anonymous Coward
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03/11/2013 03:09 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Good night, I have to go to work in the morning...I hope it all works out for the two of you.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 8433580
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03/11/2013 03:24 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Wow. Well, just based on common sense, I would think you definitely need to do a couple of things. Number one is find out as much as you can about her actual mental "condition". If your health insurance will let you see a counselor, GO. If you have to pay for your own visit, go anyway if you can afford it, just to find out some facts.

You will probably need to learn how to navigate "Social Services" in your state and county. Ask somebody who uses the system what the ropes are, you don't have time for trial and error approach.

As for your niece, if yo can get her hooked on smoothies you can sneak all sorts of healthy foods in there. Get her off sodas...provide all sorts of alternatives that have NO SUGAR AND NO ASPARTAME. No diet soda!!! If you can get her to take a vitamin pill, that would be great. Try to provide as much of her diet organic if possible. I know it's expensive but sometimes it's just borderline malnutrition that makes them weird out. Try eating cookies for breakfast, diet soda all morning, a few chips and a candy bar for lunch, and french fries and a soda for dinner, with poptarts and skittles for dessert, and then tell me how YOU feel...

You will need to be clear about your guidelines and the consequences for not adhering to them. Give her lots of leeway but don't let her cross your lines once you have conveyed your wishes. It's YOUR home. Reassure her a lot and give her as many hugs as she seems willing to tolerate. Really, who ever gets enough appreciation and reassurance?

Good luck and please let us know how it goes. Keep reminding yourself to breathe. Know that you will be tested. Try to get her interested in something wholesome and creative that will keep her mind off her problems. It could be art, or jewelry-making or music. Sports is a good thing too.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28232375


Thank you for that. She will be here in a couple hours, and I put up "all the sharp stuff". I hope it will ok. Good advice on the diet stuff. It seems she reacts more to sugar, so when she was here before, I wasn't buying it so much, and putting away those kinds of snacks. I noticed when my oldest son eats certain foods, he gets a little fruity too. It turns out, he can't eat gluten. I am wondering if ADHD kids, are allergic to gluten, and it triggers bad behavior when they eat it. My oldest son has similar mental health issues to her, but he is way more calm than she is. He is high function, but she is low function. She is more emotional than he is, with more outbursts too. My oldest son is away part of the time, and is doing a gluten free diet, and is doing remarkably. She has problems controlling what she eats, so I would have to make here eat a certain diet. Her mom told me on the phone, she couldn't get her to take her shot. That worries me. It's one of those every thirty days shots for mental health. Had you heard of such a thing?
A Friend

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03/11/2013 03:32 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Well, where to start. I have a niece who just started staying here, the thing is she wanted to go visit her "other mother" in Kansas for a few weeks. Well, turns out, she went kinda nutty up there, and her mom wants to bring her back. I am kind of feeling largely intimidated by all this.
My sister raised her since she was little, so she is adopted. She has autism, and violent outbursts. So she wigged on her mama up there, and she can't handle her either. I thought at least she would be good for a few weeks. No, not the case.

She ran off walking in the big city up there, and her mom said she can't handle that. She has big problems mentally. I am wondering how she will be when I get her back. Her mental shot is coming due again. I am wondering if she should take it a little early, since she is already wigging out. How in the heck did I ever get myself in all this. I was too nice to put her on the street. No one in my family, wants to take care of her.
Gaah, I am not looking forward to this at all. Do any of you know how to handle a teenager with severe issues?
 Quoting: skyblau


If she is having more trouble than usual now, she can go into the hospital for a time or a partial hospitalization program which is a great day program if she is stable enough yet for that. That is my best suggestion if she is to the point of not being helped by anyone in the family and running off at the moment. She can only get into very serious problems that way.

Hospital stays are not what they used to be and a good hospital will help her a great deal as well as get her stable.

Much luck. hf
But Lord, he stinketh!

:fnecsm:

"When the sky crackles in an electric dance of a beautiful requiem of lapis lazuli, maybe you will remember..." ~ Anonymous Coward 77360040
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
03/11/2013 04:42 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Please look up glutathione and autism. so many of these children are FULL of toxins and cannot properly get rid of them. Also look up what heavy metals such as mercury does to nerve cells. I will give you a link to my site. I understand how suspect this may seem and I apologize if it seems like I'm trying to feast on your situation. It is however VERY effective in detoxifyong her system but can be expensive ($80/month). Either way, look at detoxifying her system whatever way you can. The prior poster had it right: pay close attention to her diet. Good luck.
[link to anniem.max4u.com]
Anonymous Coward
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03/11/2013 08:54 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
She is the responsibility of the adopted mother. If she is autistic she has benefits available to her for care and treatment.

You can assist your sister but not interfere.

The natural mother gave up all rights and should not have been involved in anything.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9014106
Australia
03/11/2013 09:04 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
What do you mean - 'shot for mental health'?? What does she take and at what dose? What age is she and how long has she been on them.

Do you mean forced anti-psychotic injections? If so, they can make a person MUCH worse, and violent. They are extremely toxic, cause countless side effects, organ damage, pre-mature death and brain atrophy. The psychiatric profession is literally insane, and I have had many dealings with them via my daughter.

Important things to check: Adequate sleep (Very important - more is better.) Routine. Brain Nutrition - B vitamins, B3 & B12 especially, healthy fats (saturated and omega 3s), magnesium, zinc, vitamin D (sunshine), fresh fruit & veg. NO stimulants, like smoking or caffeine or sugar.

Something great to calm you down are the sedative & nervine herbs skullcap, passionflower, hops (from a naturopath.)
Anonymous Coward
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03/11/2013 09:11 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Well, where to start. I have a niece who just started staying here, the thing is she wanted to go visit her "other mother" in Kansas for a few weeks. Well, turns out, she went kinda nutty up there, and her mom wants to bring her back. I am kind of feeling largely intimidated by all this.
My sister raised her since she was little, so she is adopted. She has autism, and violent outbursts. So she wigged on her mama up there, and she can't handle her either. I thought at least she would be good for a few weeks. No, not the case.

She ran off walking in the big city up there, and her mom said she can't handle that. She has big problems mentally. I am wondering how she will be when I get her back. Her mental shot is coming due again. I am wondering if she should take it a little early, since she is already wigging out. How in the heck did I ever get myself in all this. I was too nice to put her on the street. No one in my family, wants to take care of her.
Gaah, I am not looking forward to this at all. Do any of you know how to handle a teenager with severe issues?
 Quoting: skyblau


If she is having more trouble than usual now, she can go into the hospital for a time or a partial hospitalization program which is a great day program if she is stable enough yet for that. That is my best suggestion if she is to the point of not being helped by anyone in the family and running off at the moment. She can only get into very serious problems that way.

Hospital stays are not what they used to be and a good hospital will help her a great deal as well as get her stable.

Much luck. hf
 Quoting: A Friend


Ha! From everything I know about hospitals - they drug the 'medical care consumer' to the eyeballs, then discharge them with dozens of debilitating side effects on you. If you want a healthy child, treated naturally, a hospital stay is a serious setback. Sometimes necessary, however, if they've absolutely gone off the rails, but I'd see if that could be avoided.
A Friend

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03/11/2013 01:56 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Well, where to start. I have a niece who just started staying here, the thing is she wanted to go visit her "other mother" in Kansas for a few weeks. Well, turns out, she went kinda nutty up there, and her mom wants to bring her back. I am kind of feeling largely intimidated by all this.
My sister raised her since she was little, so she is adopted. She has autism, and violent outbursts. So she wigged on her mama up there, and she can't handle her either. I thought at least she would be good for a few weeks. No, not the case.

She ran off walking in the big city up there, and her mom said she can't handle that. She has big problems mentally. I am wondering how she will be when I get her back. Her mental shot is coming due again. I am wondering if she should take it a little early, since she is already wigging out. How in the heck did I ever get myself in all this. I was too nice to put her on the street. No one in my family, wants to take care of her.
Gaah, I am not looking forward to this at all. Do any of you know how to handle a teenager with severe issues?
 Quoting: skyblau


If she is having more trouble than usual now, she can go into the hospital for a time or a partial hospitalization program which is a great day program if she is stable enough yet for that. That is my best suggestion if she is to the point of not being helped by anyone in the family and running off at the moment. She can only get into very serious problems that way.

Hospital stays are not what they used to be and a good hospital will help her a great deal as well as get her stable.

Much luck. hf
 Quoting: A Friend


Ha! From everything I know about hospitals - they drug the 'medical care consumer' to the eyeballs, then discharge them with dozens of debilitating side effects on you. If you want a healthy child, treated naturally, a hospital stay is a serious setback. Sometimes necessary, however, if they've absolutely gone off the rails, but I'd see if that could be avoided.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9014106


From experience, good doctors and hospitals don't do that. I've heard of a monthly shot for schizophrenia. And sometimes a hospital is the safest place.

The day program is nothing short of amazing though. She'll get to come home but have strong program of learning and care by nurses and a psychiatrist during the day.

Good luck hf

Last Edited by A Friend on 03/11/2013 02:01 PM
But Lord, he stinketh!

:fnecsm:

"When the sky crackles in an electric dance of a beautiful requiem of lapis lazuli, maybe you will remember..." ~ Anonymous Coward 77360040
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/11/2013 04:20 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
She came in last night, I had to take her to get her shot. It is for severe mental health issues. She is so much more calmer now. Its called Invega. I can tell a difference in her mental state without it. Believe me, I am an avocate of natural medicine, but she is worse without it.
Anonymous Coward
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03/11/2013 04:22 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
dont let her wig out you gotta explain to her that her bs isnt going to get her anywhere . how you do that i dont know.
Anonymous Coward
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03/11/2013 04:23 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Just throwing this out there op I hope it helps: Check her diet..take her off precooked foods etc..sodas etc..and start a veggie..fruit..no fried stuff..you can google it..mediterranean diet ..but try not to give her red meat and no fried stuff. I think this could help
hf
Anonymous Coward
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03/11/2013 04:24 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Well, where to start. I have a niece who just started staying here, the thing is she wanted to go visit her "other mother" in Kansas for a few weeks. Well, turns out, she went kinda nutty up there, and her mom wants to bring her back. I am kind of feeling largely intimidated by all this.
My sister raised her since she was little, so she is adopted. She has autism, and violent outbursts. So she wigged on her mama up there, and she can't handle her either. I thought at least she would be good for a few weeks. No, not the case.

She ran off walking in the big city up there, and her mom said she can't handle that. She has big problems mentally. I am wondering how she will be when I get her back. Her mental shot is coming due again. I am wondering if she should take it a little early, since she is already wigging out. How in the heck did I ever get myself in all this. I was too nice to put her on the street. No one in my family, wants to take care of her.
Gaah, I am not looking forward to this at all. Do any of you know how to handle a teenager with severe issues?
 Quoting: skyblau


Mental shot? You're injecting her brain? No wonder she's fucked up. blink
Life and Love

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03/11/2013 04:29 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
She came in last night, I had to take her to get her shot. It is for severe mental health issues. She is so much more calmer now. Its called Invega. I can tell a difference in her mental state without it. Believe me, I am an avocate of natural medicine, but she is worse without it.
 Quoting: skyblau


I think you made a wise call. You have to survive in order to help, and your earlier posts indicated you were at wit's end.
We become like that to which we are devoted. - Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/11/2013 06:18 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Well, where to start. I have a niece who just started staying here, the thing is she wanted to go visit her "other mother" in Kansas for a few weeks. Well, turns out, she went kinda nutty up there, and her mom wants to bring her back. I am kind of feeling largely intimidated by all this.
My sister raised her since she was little, so she is adopted. She has autism, and violent outbursts. So she wigged on her mama up there, and she can't handle her either. I thought at least she would be good for a few weeks. No, not the case.

She ran off walking in the big city up there, and her mom said she can't handle that. She has big problems mentally. I am wondering how she will be when I get her back. Her mental shot is coming due again. I am wondering if she should take it a little early, since she is already wigging out. How in the heck did I ever get myself in all this. I was too nice to put her on the street. No one in my family, wants to take care of her.
Gaah, I am not looking forward to this at all. Do any of you know how to handle a teenager with severe issues?
 Quoting: skyblau


Mental shot? You're injecting her brain? No wonder she's fucked up. blink
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35589330


No it is administered like any shot, in the arm. It works like a pill, but has a thirty day duration, since she won't take her daily meds.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/25/2013 10:08 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Just a follow up on this thread. My niece was hospitialized for an episode this weekend. Lots of weird energy going on here.
CeeLite

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03/26/2013 01:20 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
I think there is only so much you can do, and you have your own responsibilities, your child, your husband....You have to keep your home safe and peaceful.
CeeLite

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03/26/2013 01:22 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Caring for someone in that situation is much different than a physically handicapped person. This person can harm people in your home. Even if not physical harm, emotional.
Anonymous Coward
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03/26/2013 01:25 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Well, where to start. I have a niece who just started staying here, the thing is she wanted to go visit her "other mother" in Kansas for a few weeks. Well, turns out, she went kinda nutty up there, and her mom wants to bring her back. I am kind of feeling largely intimidated by all this.
My sister raised her since she was little, so she is adopted. She has autism, and violent outbursts. So she wigged on her mama up there, and she can't handle her either. I thought at least she would be good for a few weeks. No, not the case.

She ran off walking in the big city up there, and her mom said she can't handle that. She has big problems mentally. I am wondering how she will be when I get her back. Her mental shot is coming due again. I am wondering if she should take it a little early, since she is already wigging out. How in the heck did I ever get myself in all this. I was too nice to put her on the street. No one in my family, wants to take care of her.
Gaah, I am not looking forward to this at all. Do any of you know how to handle a teenager with severe issues?
 Quoting: skyblau


Give her to her mother. She's the one who fucked, so it's responsibility not yours.
goodmockingbird

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03/26/2013 01:31 AM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Just a follow up on this thread. My niece was hospitialized for an episode this weekend. Lots of weird energy going on here.
 Quoting: skyblau


Good.

You will probably not want to hear this, but you asked for advice.

Do NOT take her back into your home.

Draw some lines, grow a backbone, and just say NO.

And change the locks.

This, from a former social worker.
I Support Our First Responders
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/26/2013 06:58 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Just a follow up on this thread. My niece was hospitialized for an episode this weekend. Lots of weird energy going on here.
 Quoting: skyblau


Good.

You will probably not want to hear this, but you asked for advice.

Do NOT take her back into your home.

Draw some lines, grow a backbone, and just say NO.

And change the locks.

This, from a former social worker.
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


She is going to move up to Kansas with her mom when she gets out. I am kind of relieved.
Anonymous Coward
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03/26/2013 07:09 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Believe me, I am an avocate of natural medicine, but she is worse without it.
 Quoting: skyblau


Funny this post was made @ 4:20 :P

Please tell me you didn't :nobogart: with a schizophrenic to try to help...
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/26/2013 08:30 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Believe me, I am an avocate of natural medicine, but she is worse without it.
 Quoting: skyblau


Funny this post was made @ 4:20 :P

Please tell me you didn't :nobogart: with a schizophrenic to try to help...
 Quoting: Demon Cat in the Blue Basket


No I don't smoke the "herb", I have nothing against those that do, however. I see how it helps cancer patients, so I think they should legalize it. I am all about her getting help she needs. They put her on some new meds, which may help. I have too much to contend with around here, for her to stay when she gets out. I did try though to help. She will always be my neice, regardless. I just want her to be ok.
Anonymous Coward
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03/26/2013 08:52 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Please consider taking this child vegan that she might become more peaceful. Also consider exposing her drinking water to the sun placed on the ground. Consider EMF radiation reduction such as placing rebar staked in the ground close to her window and then attached by a copper wire to an aluminum mesh placed under the bedsheet that transmissions from lights and appliances will diffuse.

She will change dramatically and you will also find peace.

Love Love.
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03/26/2013 08:59 PM

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Re: Need some advice... please
Please look up glutathione and autism. so many of these children are FULL of toxins and cannot properly get rid of them. Also look up what heavy metals such as mercury does to nerve cells. I will give you a link to my site. I understand how suspect this may seem and I apologize if it seems like I'm trying to feast on your situation. It is however VERY effective in detoxifyong her system but can be expensive ($80/month). Either way, look at detoxifying her system whatever way you can. The prior poster had it right: pay close attention to her diet. Good luck.
[link to anniem.max4u.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1020585

THIS. Diet can make a world of difference for someone on the autism spectrum.
T For Texas, T For Tennessee!


The virtue of courage is a prerequisite for the practice of all other virtues, because otherwise one is virtuous only when virtue has no cost. There are times when something needs to be done, and yet we know that if we step up and do this needful thing, we will pay a heavy personal price. -C.S. Lewis
g00~

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03/26/2013 08:59 PM
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Re: Need some advice... please
Peace be with you sister! You are a saint, your heart is so compassionate.
Your garden variety Illuminati Princess~





GLP