[link to superofficialnews.com]

Washington DC — In a controversial move this morning President Obama made NTACT official and signed it into law. NTACT stands for the National Trees Act and was passed by Congress last week. The bill allows government officials, such as the military and DEA, to waterboard marijuana users in order to gain any potential information they may or may not have. The act states that by waterboarding the marijuana user for information, such as where they bought their drugs from, it will allow law enforcement officials to use that information to then arrest the dealers, distributors and the actual growers.

After signing NTACT into law, President Obama stated, “This is a great first step in putting an end to this nightmare that has plagued our country for so long now. Marijuana is a destructor of families and communities. By getting to the source of the problem, the actual marijuana user, I think we can finally win the war on drugs. God willing, no one will ever use marijuana again.”