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You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness

 
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 35978296
United States
03/11/2013 07:33 PM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
You ARE responsible for your own happiness....if you are miserable, take a good look around at how you are undermining or betraying, or simply disrespecting yourself......
Ford Prefect

User ID: 35836013
Brazil
03/11/2013 07:36 PM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
And you never have been - and if someone thinks you are, move on. That's all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35978296


"You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness"

True! But you ARE responsible for anyone else's UNHAPPINESS, the moment you stepped in anyone else's LIFE and made mistakes, like being hostile, aggressive, violent, dishonest, treasonous, liar, deceitful, and many other stupid attitudes that humans have to each other.

And by making someone's else life MISERABLE, we not only harden their karmic burden, but we also fuck up ours more and more. That's what's called "COLLECTIVE KARMA". Can't argue with that, can't run away from that, can't hide from that.

Welcome to planet Earth.
 Quoting: Ford Prefect


I agree. This is a sick world, but we can recover by changing the direction or learning about how truly sick we are.

People who are hostile, aggressive,violent, dishonest, etc, do affect others, especially children, who then become adult children, meaning that you have children who never truly grew up, which is what we have mostly today.
We have adults who look like adult but who are still children on the inside, meaning, they never learned to learn moderation in their thinking, feeling, and acting, never learned containment, self esteem, boundaries, limits, and are completely shame bound or shameless and those are exactly who become offender like the people who mentioned above(violent, aggressive, etc)
When we as people can learn to truly grow up and heal the wounds from childhood and learn what it's like to be an adult, we will not be offenders anymore and we don't trickle the pain onto the following generations.

The problem with being a child in an adult body is that life will not work. Actually it will spiral out of control, and this happens partly because as adult children, we are expecting others to make us happy, etc, and we are expecting the world to give us what we never learned to give ourselves which is a sense of inherent value and worth, and we already know how to meet our own needs and how not to become offenders to others, especially to our children.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35806305


It's not that simple. Actually it gets way more complicated because when while you're a child you don't have the energy sexual developed, and you don't have the magnetic print of the sex act in your soul, EXCEPT by those children who are victim of ritualistic sex abuse. These are the ones who become more damaged adults in unspeakable ways.

But whatever type of non-sexual abuse a person suffered during childhood, the legion of psychic aggregates created by the various traumas usually steal the energy of the sex center, which is the most powerful we have. Then the term "childish adult" doesn't apply much because sex turned you into an adult. The only thing you keep from childhood are traumas and pains, not an actual childness.

And just so you know, SEX transmits KARMA from one person to another, since the atoms of one person's sexual fluid are absorbed by another during the intercourse. Matter of fact, the IDEAL is having if possible ONE partner for life, or at least the less number possible.
It's a tough galaxy. If you want to survive, you've gotta know...where your towel is.
Integrity101

User ID: 31628188
United States
03/11/2013 07:52 PM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
And you never have been - and if someone thinks you are, move on. That's all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35978296


"You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness"

True! But you ARE responsible for anyone else's UNHAPPINESS, the moment you stepped in anyone else's LIFE and made mistakes, like being hostile, aggressive, violent, dishonest, treasonous, liar, deceitful, and many other stupid attitudes that humans have to each other.

And by making someone's else life MISERABLE, we not only harden their karmic burden, but we also fuck up ours more and more. That's what's called "COLLECTIVE KARMA". Can't argue with that, can't run away from that, can't hide from that.

Welcome to planet Earth.
 Quoting: Ford Prefect


thumbs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31758083
United States
03/11/2013 07:55 PM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
And you never have been - and if someone thinks you are, move on. That's all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35978296


"You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness"

True! But you ARE responsible for anyone else's UNHAPPINESS, the moment you stepped in anyone else's LIFE and made mistakes, like being hostile, aggressive, violent, dishonest, treasonous, liar, deceitful, and many other stupid attitudes that humans have to each other.

And by making someone's else life MISERABLE, we not only harden their karmic burden, but we also fuck up ours more and more. That's what's called "COLLECTIVE KARMA". Can't argue with that, can't run away from that, can't hide from that.

Welcome to planet Earth.
 Quoting: Ford Prefect


Brilliant!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35806305
United States
03/11/2013 08:30 PM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
And you never have been - and if someone thinks you are, move on. That's all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35978296


"You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness"

True! But you ARE responsible for anyone else's UNHAPPINESS, the moment you stepped in anyone else's LIFE and made mistakes, like being hostile, aggressive, violent, dishonest, treasonous, liar, deceitful, and many other stupid attitudes that humans have to each other.

And by making someone's else life MISERABLE, we not only harden their karmic burden, but we also fuck up ours more and more. That's what's called "COLLECTIVE KARMA". Can't argue with that, can't run away from that, can't hide from that.

Welcome to planet Earth.
 Quoting: Ford Prefect


I agree. This is a sick world, but we can recover by changing the direction or learning about how truly sick we are.

People who are hostile, aggressive,violent, dishonest, etc, do affect others, especially children, who then become adult children, meaning that you have children who never truly grew up, which is what we have mostly today.
We have adults who look like adult but who are still children on the inside, meaning, they never learned to learn moderation in their thinking, feeling, and acting, never learned containment, self esteem, boundaries, limits, and are completely shame bound or shameless and those are exactly who become offender like the people who mentioned above(violent, aggressive, etc)
When we as people can learn to truly grow up and heal the wounds from childhood and learn what it's like to be an adult, we will not be offenders anymore and we don't trickle the pain onto the following generations.

The problem with being a child in an adult body is that life will not work. Actually it will spiral out of control, and this happens partly because as adult children, we are expecting others to make us happy, etc, and we are expecting the world to give us what we never learned to give ourselves which is a sense of inherent value and worth, and we already know how to meet our own needs and how not to become offenders to others, especially to our children.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35806305


It's not that simple. Actually it gets way more complicated because when while you're a child you don't have the energy sexual developed, and you don't have the magnetic print of the sex act in your soul, EXCEPT by those children who are victim of ritualistic sex abuse. These are the ones who become more damaged adults in unspeakable ways.

But whatever type of non-sexual abuse a person suffered during childhood, the legion of psychic aggregates created by the various traumas usually steal the energy of the sex center, which is the most powerful we have. Then the term "childish adult" doesn't apply much because sex turned you into an adult. The only thing you keep from childhood are traumas and pains, not an actual childness.

And just so you know, SEX transmits KARMA from one person to another, since the atoms of one person's sexual fluid are absorbed by another during the intercourse. Matter of fact, the IDEAL is having if possible ONE partner for life, or at least the less number possible.
 Quoting: Ford Prefect


You are still responsible for your own healing.
Whether it's through therapy, sexual therapy, hypnosis, past life regression, trauma work, emdr, you are responsible to heal and work on your own karma sort of speak.

If you have a SRA victim with multiple personalities and still suffering from it, it is still they who need to seek the proper healing methods.

They are still responsible for their own recovery.
Even if it is to recover their energy center, their balance, their sexuality.

We do have carried over feelings from those who perpetrate and it is also up to us to give that back sort of speak, not carry those psychic attachments sort of speak and not depleat our own energy field but that also takes self work in order to get ourselves back, and we can do it.

It is still our responsibility. Isn't that the topic?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17799088
United States
03/11/2013 08:51 PM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
And you never have been - and if someone thinks you are, move on. That's all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35978296


"You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness"

True! But you ARE responsible for anyone else's UNHAPPINESS, the moment you stepped in anyone else's LIFE and made mistakes, like being hostile, aggressive, violent, dishonest, treasonous, liar, deceitful, and many other stupid attitudes that humans have to each other.

And by making someone's else life MISERABLE, we not only harden their karmic burden, but we also fuck up ours more and more. That's what's called "COLLECTIVE KARMA". Can't argue with that, can't run away from that, can't hide from that.

Welcome to planet Earth.
 Quoting: Ford Prefect


I agree. This is a sick world, but we can recover by changing the direction or learning about how truly sick we are.

People who are hostile, aggressive,violent, dishonest, etc, do affect others, especially children, who then become adult children, meaning that you have children who never truly grew up, which is what we have mostly today.
We have adults who look like adult but who are still children on the inside, meaning, they never learned to learn moderation in their thinking, feeling, and acting, never learned containment, self esteem, boundaries, limits, and are completely shame bound or shameless and those are exactly who become offender like the people who mentioned above(violent, aggressive, etc)
When we as people can learn to truly grow up and heal the wounds from childhood and learn what it's like to be an adult, we will not be offenders anymore and we don't trickle the pain onto the following generations.

The problem with being a child in an adult body is that life will not work. Actually it will spiral out of control, and this happens partly because as adult children, we are expecting others to make us happy, etc, and we are expecting the world to give us what we never learned to give ourselves which is a sense of inherent value and worth, and we already know how to meet our own needs and how not to become offenders to others, especially to our children.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35806305

WOW...this is some serious wisdom. Had never thought about it like this, but you my friend are right on.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:26 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
So lets take an example of a family where this is applied

the wife/mother husband/ father would not feel responsable for the happiness of any of its members

thats my idea of a disfunctional nightmarish family

my idea of a family is everyone puts evryone else first, love is shown and shared, lots of hugs and affection and yes others happiness comes first because when you truly love the happiness of your spouse and or children is your happiness

how can you be happy if those you love care about are not happy?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35951339

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35806305


Okay, so we are talking about adults now, not children, because with children, they needs nurturing, care, and support while helping them set boundaries and limits through example and direction.

Int he adult world, we are all supposed to be responsible for our happiness so nobody is expecting nor needing another to do something to make them happy.

So if wife wants a hug and expressed she wants a hug, and husband doesn't want to hug her, wife is not going to oblige, and husband has a choice to hug or not hug.
Wife has the responsibility to ask for a hug at a later time and if hubby wants later, then great, but if hubby keeps not wanting to hug, then it is wife's responsibility to see how she can get a hug from (a massage at a spa, her child, her mom, etc) and if that's not enough and she wants a hug from the hubby only, she'll have to see if she trully will be okay with a hubby who doesn't like or want to hug.

So lets say you are my husband and I want you to make love tonight, and you don't want to.
Should i rather you do it for me? even though you don't want to? Isn't that selfish of me to want you to do something you don't want to do?

For what purpose? for my self interest?

I rather you make love to me, when you also want to.

And I guess I will wait until you want to, which I hope is soon.

But if you don't make love to me for months, then we need to talk, but I am still responsible to how I respond and how I feel about it.

You not wanting to make love to me should not determine my happiness.
I will have feelings as a result but I'm still responsible in what my reality is around it.

DO you understand?


I think there is a difference between
I am responsable for my own happiness

And I am not responsable for anothers happiness

the difference lies in the inherent attitude
the first option is a healthy independence hopefully based in faith

the second in my opinion is an unhealthy point of view based in selfishness and egoism
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:27 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I think there is a difference between
I am responsable for my own happiness

And I am not responsable for anothers happiness

the difference lies in the inherent attitude
the first option is a healthy independence hopefully based in faith

the second in my opinion is an unhealthy point of view based in selfishness and egoism
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:29 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I personally would not be involved emotionally with a person who did not care about my happiness

and I wouldnt expect someone to be involved emotionally with me if I didnt care about their happiness

its called give and take

you dont give to expect to recieve but perfection is imo give and take
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30152926
United States
03/12/2013 05:31 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
And you never have been - and if someone thinks you are, move on. That's all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35978296


its really hard. i do feel responsible for everyones happiness. my boyfriend's, well, ex now...but i STILL feel responsible for his happiness. i feel like the guiltiest innocent person in the world. LOL.

wait, i have a responsibility for my kids' happiness, right?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:33 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
So lets take an example of a family where this is applied

the wife/mother husband/ father would not feel responsable for the happiness of any of its members

thats my idea of a disfunctional nightmarish family

my idea of a family is everyone puts evryone else first, love is shown and shared, lots of hugs and affection and yes others happiness comes first because when you truly love the happiness of your spouse and or children is your happiness

how can you be happy if those you love care about are not happy?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35951339

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35806305


Okay, so we are talking about adults now, not children, because with children, they needs nurturing, care, and support while helping them set boundaries and limits through example and direction.

Int he adult world, we are all supposed to be responsible for our happiness so nobody is expecting nor needing another to do something to make them happy.

So if wife wants a hug and expressed she wants a hug, and husband doesn't want to hug her, wife is not going to oblige, and husband has a choice to hug or not hug.
Wife has the responsibility to ask for a hug at a later time and if hubby wants later, then great, but if hubby keeps not wanting to hug, then it is wife's responsibility to see how she can get a hug from (a massage at a spa, her child, her mom, etc) and if that's not enough and she wants a hug from the hubby only, she'll have to see if she trully will be okay with a hubby who doesn't like or want to hug.

So lets say you are my husband and I want you to make love tonight, and you don't want to.
Should i rather you do it for me? even though you don't want to? Isn't that selfish of me to want you to do something you don't want to do?

For what purpose? for my self interest?

I rather you make love to me, when you also want to.

And I guess I will wait until you want to, which I hope is soon.

But if you don't make love to me for months, then we need to talk, but I am still responsible to how I respond and how I feel about it.

You not wanting to make love to me should not determine my happiness.
I will have feelings as a result but I'm still responsible in what my reality is around it.

DO you understand?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35951339


I think there is a difference between
I am responsable for my own happiness

And I am not responsable for anothers happiness

the difference lies in the inherent attitude
the first option is a healthy independence hopefully based in faith

the second in my opinion is an unhealthy point of view based in selfishness and egoism


the previous post I dont agree with appeared tagged to my post..mine is the end part.

I just so dont agree with it I have to point that out
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:36 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
Look at all the 5 stars this thread has..explains why this society is so sick

Its so sad to live like that in my opinion

The cold harshness that permeates modern culture leaves a trail of broken souls
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:38 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
The me myself and I..culture

yuk!

I detest it beyond words..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25196431
United States
03/12/2013 05:42 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
The me myself and I..culture

yuk!

I detest it beyond words..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35951339


No one said that your happiness cant be another's happiness.

You can always contribute, but it is almost impossible to carry.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:43 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I come first...oh I am sooo special

I am sooo in love with myself

I am not responsable for anyone elses happiness God forbid..I simply am sooo busy loving myself

yuK!

the main reason why I am heading for the hills as soon as I can

I despise this society more than I can convey





Christ was all about putting others first

He felt responsable of feeeding the hungry in spirit and body

He loved


I am disgusted with this society and its selfishness

disgusted

salvation? the kingdom comes within

its not about loving yourself..oh I am so so so special"!

its about loving others more than yourself

Christs words
as much as yourselves ..to love others as much

do unto others as you would have them do to you

if you make a mistake ok..but not based on deliberate intention to hurt another

treat others as you would like to be treated

sick society

of too many people in love with themselves

that lack the humility to recognize they are importtant only because God loves them

yes I am disgusted

very..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35703619
Japan
03/12/2013 05:44 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
Responsibility is a complex issue. I believe I have real responsibilities to my family members and loved ones, but these responsibilities do not include ensuring subjective inner states, like happiness.

Still, I sincerely want the people I love (especially my wife, mother, kids, and sister) to be happy. This is because I love them. And because I love them naturally and truly wish for their happiness, I am willing to go out of my way to take an active interest in their inner lives. To try to understand when they are unhappy and to make an effort to try to help them be happier. And I know they try to do the same for me. This is because we love each other.

Such behavior seems spontaneous, natural, and to spring automarically from love, rather than enforced by some kind of external moral imperative, which is more what the word "responsibility" sounds like to me.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7367792
Sweden
03/12/2013 05:44 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I personally would not be involved emotionally with a person who did not care about my happiness

and I wouldnt expect someone to be involved emotionally with me if I didnt care about their happiness

its called give and take

you dont give to expect to recieve but perfection is imo give and take
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35951339


I personally would not be involved emotionally with a person that expected me to "make" them happy. It's like a burden, you not only have to make yourself happy, but another person to.
Happiness comes from within. You cannot make someone happy, and most of all, you cannot make someone happy, unless they want to be happy.

Just because you aren't responsible, doesn't mean you don't give a damn.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:45 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I am heading for the hillls as soon as I can and am washing my hands of this society totally

I want NO PART in this

none at all
^Isaac^

User ID: 22717382
United States
03/12/2013 05:46 AM

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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I personally would not be involved emotionally with a person who did not care about my happiness

and I wouldnt expect someone to be involved emotionally with me if I didnt care about their happiness

its called give and take

you dont give to expect to recieve but perfection is imo give and take
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35951339


I personally would not be involved emotionally with a person that expected me to "make" them happy. It's like a burden, you not only have to make yourself happy, but another person to.
Happiness comes from within. You cannot make someone happy, and most of all, you cannot make someone happy, unless they want to be happy.

Just because you aren't responsible, doesn't mean you don't give a damn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7367792


Agreed, such expectations show emotional immaturity.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:47 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
Disguested with the elevation os Self beyond what is palatable

The love of Self that has happened in the last say 8 to 10 years..where its just about me myself and I

the implementation of this selfish way of living in the trash thrown at us via the box..

No ..its not for me..

Im off to the hills..just gearing up for it..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:50 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I expect to see and find Christ in others

The way He loved and lived

Thats how we should try to be

we can sugar coat it all we want and find lots of nice reasons but basically to not love and put others first to me is being an emotional cripple

I love with all my being..

Love to me is Life

I couldnt be any other way...

I wouldnt want to
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 05:53 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
And to love means having the humility to recognize errors..and forgiving others

Its unconditional

It placing others before you
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36015323
Serbia
03/12/2013 06:11 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
And you never have been - and if someone thinks you are, move on. That's all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35978296


Reminds me of books by Anthony de Mello.
Great stuff.
People who cling on others to feel good about themselves should really look up what this man has to say.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 06:18 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I have nothing in common with your society and the way most of you live.

I am disgusted.

The inability of being happy and of making others happy

the hedonism and narcisism

the self sufficiency

the lack of love flowing between people

the inability of empathy

I have made up my mind and its irrevocable

i wash my hands totally

totally

there is and will be no turning back

The way I see life is different and I will not change and become an empty emotional cripple like those I see around me

I will love and love and love more

I dont need to be loved in exchange but it is beautiful if I am

To love in itself is a gift one should treasure
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35951339
Spain
03/12/2013 06:22 AM
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Re: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
I will love you all from a distance..I will pray for you

but I will never return to your world

my world will be up in the hills far far away
like St. Francis the concept of oneness and love

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