I can't stand Australians !!!

Reminds me of a joke.

Frenchman, Englishman and an Aussie sittin at the bar....

Frenchie says - "Ze French woman, she is so beautiful, with soft tanned skin, lucious lips, beautiful brown eyes... pert little bussoms, ze French women are he best in all ze world..."

Englishman pipes up, and says, "well, my good man, I must dissagree, you see the English rose, with here alibaster skin, bright red lips, flowing locks, and long, long legs, well, she would be the best in my book..."

Both look over at the Aussie, waiting, and eventually ask - "aren't you" going to tell us why Aussie women are the best in the world?

Eventually he skulls his beer, wipes his mouth and says -

"Aussie women, they have pussies this big "[gestures about 2 feet between his hands] and begins to walk away.

They shout to him "OMG, how do you screw THAT"?

"oh", he says "they do stretch...."

Amercian...Englishman..and an Aussue sittin in a bar having a drink.

Englishman stand up saying "You blighters are not so tough"..he rolls up his sleeve and shows off this huge scar running from his wrist to his shoulder and says "I got this in africa fighting a lion on safari with my bare hands. Strangles it to death but the blighter slashed me a good one before he went down.

The American pipes up and says "Aww thats but a scratch ya whiney pom." He lifts his trouser leg and shows his leg..all scarred from waist to ankle and says "I got this by a enraged mother grizzly bear in alaska...had to use my leg as bait to distract her while I knifed her in the spine"

The aussie skulls his beer..burps loudly and stands up saying "Ya stupid pair of totally wusses. Them are mere flesh wounds ya wankers"...He opens his shirt and there is this deeeep gash..crudley stitched up from groin to throat..the Pom and the Yank are in awe..and ask.."Fuck mate..what happenned to you?"

The Aussie leans over..skulls another beer..burps loudly again and says "Post moretem".

LMFAO. Love it brotha!

Now to the doubting Yankees, who cant stand us, ya cant say it wouldnt be a bit of fun having a yarn, some good food, some beer and a laugh with us?

We'll wear ya down yet.

Stone the crows mate,I feel very sorry for you, so much hatred and bitterness. "From the deepest desires comes the deadliest hate".
You should also realise that "racist thought and action says more ABOUT THE PERSON THEY COME FROM than the person they are directed at".
There are many Australians living in USA, Hugh Jackman, Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, the late Heath Ledger, Simon Baker, Julian McMahon, etc,etc, I'm disappointed you think they are all disgusting!!!!!
BTW have a nice day, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep smiling and bye for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:mel3:

Ya reckon?

Yeah, we aren't too bright either.

Australia is the best country in the world and only real Aussies look out for each other.

Anyway..later that afternoon after a few more drinks the fellas are getting quite pissed.

The Englishman..feeling somwhat shamed at being the wussiest of the three with only a pissy little scar on his leg..gets out of his seat..burps,,and says "You tow blokes (Hic) shink ya so fucking tough eh? Watch this..and he puts his fingers in the bar and hacks em all off with his knife one at a time without wincing.

Satisfied that the other two blokes will be put in their place by this display, he sits down wrappng his bleeding hand in a bar cloth and has another drink.

The American bloke..not to be outdone by a measly Pom..gets out of his eat and says "Eh pommy shit..watch this"..and he puts his leg up on the bar and hacks it off with his bushknife. Bone and blood and chunks of meat go everywhere..but he just hacks and hacks till his leag drops away just past the knee" He wipes his knife on the poms shirt and says "Dint like that fucking leg anyway since that bear chewed it up. He ties it off with another bar cloth and sits back down and has another drink.

The Aussie in the meantime has just been watching these two with a sly grin..drinking..watching..having a giggle..and the other two are now watching him with great anticipation of what Mr "Post Moretem" is gonna do to out do em.

He orders another beer..kulls it..getas to his feet and says "Sho you (Burp) cunts think ya fucking TOUGH eh?..haha..fucking kindergarted bullshit is what I call it (BURP)..ill show ya how tough us Aussies are..and he stands right in front of the bar..gets out his classic croc dundeed knife..flops his eight incher onto the bar with a slap..holds the knife up...and just at that moment the other two fait and hit the floor with a thud.

The Aussie shrugs..puts his cock away...sits down and skulls another beer muttering "Fucking wusses".

agreed. why is every sentence a fucking question?

HEY FELLAS !!!

this ones a keeper ;-)

Yeah, most dingo's better be nice..

To the OP, so i'm gathering Hugh Jackman came in your moms mouth and you're a little perturbed...

To the fucking stupid Canuck, some of my friends are Canadian, Champion folks they are, we gave the world medicinal penicillin you ignorant fuck.

but... your american.......

This is the funniest shit i have heard all week

I rest my case.

At least we have healthcare. Look at it that way.

i bet you have never ever left the usa

And less pollution and crime and much less national debt. Think of it like that.

I hate Australiens too.

looks like op has left the building,,lol

This is a shame because when your country collapses Australia is one of the best destinations for you to flee to. We speak the same language, have a good climate and loads of spare room.

He's probably looking for Elvis somewhere...lol

I can't blame him for leaving your sorry ass.

Ah The Chasers!!

[link to www.youtube.com]

Oh I love Australia. My bad. I misread the OP. I still hate Australiens.

Aussies rock! spirited, funny, and have you seen the hotties coming out of there.