Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,624 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 808,966
Pageviews Today: 1,190,492Threads Today: 307Posts Today: 6,521
10:43 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13813766
Australia
03/16/2013 05:50 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
This has been my absolute favorite response throughout this fiasco thead. The Christian will claim that 'They can't possibly understand' their stupid book when you point out its inaccuracy.

Plenty of people left your gay religion because they figured out your book was full of shit.

Of course, the Christian response is just to blame it on user-error or Satan, while they offer no real explanation for the contradiction.

Sure...Sure...

cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1148563


Name ONE contradiction you'd like an answer to. Go ahead.

You're so sincere in your quest for knowledge, go on, pick one and hear the answer. I dare you.
 Quoting: Holy_Diver


He will refuse.Like most that do what he does he has a big mouth.The Bible is not contradictory and all so called contradictions are false.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34039835
United States
03/16/2013 05:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
I love when they get mad, attack the messenger, and offer no explanation on why the bible is so severely flawed.

Nothing but cheap attacks, really?

iamwith
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


I can't wait to read where I have attacked you...
 Quoting: Life and Love


You know, all he wanted was answers. All the OP got is BS. Stop the BS. Come up with real answers!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35695643


Much of Genesis is simply myth. Why is that so difficult to accept and why would anyone try to prove the factual accuracy of mythology.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1148563
03/16/2013 05:54 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
I love when they get mad, attack the messenger, and offer no explanation on why the bible is so severely flawed.

Nothing but cheap attacks, really?

iamwith
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


I can't wait to read where I have attacked you...
 Quoting: Life and Love


You know, all he wanted was answers. All the OP got is BS. Stop the BS. Come up with real answers!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35695643


Much of Genesis is simply myth. Why is that so difficult to accept and why would anyone try to prove the factual accuracy of mythology.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34039835


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

THIS is the best answer of the entire fucking thread.

clappa
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1148563
03/16/2013 05:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
This has been my absolute favorite response throughout this fiasco thead. The Christian will claim that 'They can't possibly understand' their stupid book when you point out its inaccuracy.

Plenty of people left your gay religion because they figured out your book was full of shit.

Of course, the Christian response is just to blame it on user-error or Satan, while they offer no real explanation for the contradiction.

Sure...Sure...

cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1148563


Name ONE contradiction you'd like an answer to. Go ahead.

You're so sincere in your quest for knowledge, go on, pick one and hear the answer. I dare you.
 Quoting: Holy_Diver


He will refuse.Like most that do what he does he has a big mouth.The Bible is not contradictory and all so called contradictions are false.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13813766


See page 1, moron.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16967223
Australia
03/16/2013 05:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
WHY oh WHY does EVERY christian thread ALWAYS turn into an arrogance ridden insulting fukcing SHITFIGHT!!!????

You all talk about salavation but is so FUCKING OBVIOUS NONE of you have the FIRST FUCKING CLUE about ANYTHING!!

You are always attacking eachother and hating and fighting and cursing and insulting.

You wonder why the world LAUGHS at you all?

YOU ARE ALL FUCKING DISGUSTING!!

IM starting to think you are all REALLY just satanists RECRUITING for HIM...because you do SUCH A FUCKING AWESOME JOB of it.

FUCKING STUPID SELF RIGHTOUS ARROGANT FUCKHEADS!



Unleashed upon man
Their poisoning brains
An empty grasp - A threat to all those sane

The daggers poised
For shallow minds
Unheard laughs
Disrupting all mankind...

This rotting misery

The beggars are all gathered
No others rule supreme
Rotting misery

Clouded realities
Brought before us
Their pointless lives
As all their faith is lost

Morbid existence
Of these poor souls
Now must die to exist no more
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19124876
France
03/16/2013 06:01 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
banana2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


Get a life, a job, a girlfriend...
(and a Bible)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31720419
Germany
03/16/2013 06:12 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
genesis contradicts science lol
evolution say's us females got made first
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 781996
United States
03/16/2013 06:17 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
I don't understand:

Adam and Eve had 2 sons. They went out and found 2 women to marry. Since A&E were the only people on earth, the 2 women had to be their daughters. So all 4 of the kids committed incest.


Abraham took a mistress. This was OK with God?
Abraham heard voices. Telling him to kill. So he went to kill his own son. This sounds like a schitsophrenic and/or psycopath to me.

Th bible can be like a sexy novel or a horror story depending on what part you're reading.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1518033
Japan
03/16/2013 06:18 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
You are not required to like it or understand it.

Choose your own path, I've chosen mine!
 Quoting: Holy_Diver


You've chosen the path of Ronnie James Dio. Did you know that our hero has named himself God?
Holy_Diver

User ID: 20712268
United States
03/16/2013 06:24 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
You are not required to like it or understand it.

Choose your own path, I've chosen mine!
 Quoting: Holy_Diver


You've chosen the path of Ronnie James Dio. Did you know that our hero has named himself God?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1518033


Yeah, Dio means "God"

Dio was an Atheist, so he claims.

I think he was more of an illuminist, but they don't really come out and say it.
:ritd:"You've been left on your own, like a Rainbow in the Dark" -Ronnie James Dio:ritd:
Elder Eddie
User ID: 26677337
United States
03/16/2013 06:26 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
The Bible is composed from many writers over a very long period of time so I am not surprised that there are different accounts of certain stories. Instead of trying to find out whats wrong with God you should attempt to find out what is right with God. Everything!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35368779
United States
03/16/2013 06:35 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
WHY oh WHY does EVERY christian thread ALWAYS turn into an arrogance ridden insulting fukcing SHITFIGHT!!!????


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16967223


See, no need to even go any farther with this kind of stupid. This was not a christian thread, it was an attack and harassment on christians thread.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30460893
United States
03/16/2013 06:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
The Bible is composed from many writers over a very long period of time so I am not surprised that there are different accounts of certain stories. Instead of trying to find out whats wrong with God you should attempt to find out what is right with God. Everything!
 Quoting: Elder Eddie 26677337


Did you mean "Instead of trying to find out whats wrong with the bible you should attempt to find out what is right with God"? Otherwise your statement makes no sense.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35368779
United States
03/16/2013 06:38 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
I love when they get mad, attack the messenger, and offer no explanation on why the bible is so severely flawed.

Nothing but cheap attacks, really?

iamwith
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


I can't wait to read where I have attacked you...
 Quoting: Life and Love


You know, all he wanted was answers. All the OP got is BS. Stop the BS. Come up with real answers!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35695643


Much of Genesis is simply myth. Why is that so difficult to accept and why would anyone try to prove the factual accuracy of mythology.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34039835

Opinion based opinion.
M1.618

User ID: 22427554
Canada
03/16/2013 07:01 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
The bible is a collection of parables that, as with all things written, is (or should be) interpreted by the reader through the readers understanding, the interpretation is a product of this. Literally, there are differences - as it was translated and compiled from multiple sources, in multiple languages, over time. It has been controversial, since it was first compiled, as today. The meaning or point, the theme many would agree is constant, although many would disagree losing themselves in the detail rather than looking at it objectively.

But, this tread is not about the bible rather uses the bible to troll for those that see the bible as the literal word of God. Making an assumption they are foolish and poking fun at them through means other than truth like similar other posts considered pro or anti religion

… troll on sheeple! It will soon be over)
wmMmw
Life and Love
Live life fully!

User ID: 26735250
United States
03/16/2013 07:08 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
I love when they get mad, attack the messenger, and offer no explanation on why the bible is so severely flawed.

Nothing but cheap attacks, really?

iamwith
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


I can't wait to read where I have attacked you...
 Quoting: Life and Love


You know, all he wanted was answers. All the OP got is BS. Stop the BS. Come up with real answers!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35695643


Actually OP wasn't looking for answers or even discussion.

If your reply is actually directed towards me, I invite you to re-post what you would consider a BS answer of mine.
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Holy_Diver

User ID: 20712268
United States
03/16/2013 07:17 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
They never tire of being inadequete and ineffectual, do they?

Makes you wonder.

Paid? Organized? Flowcharts for arguments and tactics?

Actually, it doesn't make you wonder, it makes you pretty darned sure.

leno
:ritd:"You've been left on your own, like a Rainbow in the Dark" -Ronnie James Dio:ritd:
Muscles
User ID: 35454661
United States
03/16/2013 08:23 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
As for your satisfaction I will list only one of your questions and then tell you where to go to find the rest of them because i do not feel like typing them all down. You also need to get yourself a Greek and Hebrew lexicon or concordance as to what the meaning of some of the words are in the scriptures to get context bud. I also suggest that you just don't go posting crap but check the crap out before you go causing trouble and make yourself look very....and I mean very ignorant. Ok here is question 41 and the link which explains it beautifully.

41. Elijah did not ascend into the “Heaven of Heavens” (God's Throne) . Nor did Enoch. The bible does not say Elijah ascended into the place of Gods throne because Jesus came from there! There are three levels of heaven in the bible and their Greek and Hebrew words will explain it the meanings to you. 1. The atmospheric heavens (sky where the birds fly and the clouds are) 2. Outer space (the Host of heaven where the stars and planets are) and 3. The Heaven of Heavens… (God’s abode) The folks before Christ death went to a place called Abraham's Bosom(Paradise). This site explains it beautifully [link to www.ecclesia.org] .

The answer to the rest of your 41 questions can be answered and found here.....sheesh! [link to www.philvaz.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35454661
United States
03/16/2013 09:06 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
#2 Jesus did teach this. Paul wasn't making a direct quote, he was referrencing general teachings.
 Quoting: Morganite


35 In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’

Paul proclaims Jesus did say this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


Yes you are right. But the bible does not list every word that Jesus said. Remember, Paul met the Lord on the road to Damascus, and also was in communion with the Lord all the time. Just because the bible does not list the quote does not mean that Jesus didn't say it. There are many things God says to his followers personally that are not listed in the bible. Paul (or the group of people he was with and talking to) was just reminding the people to remember what Jesus had told them as a group personally. So what is wasn't list in the bible as a quote. This does not disqualify the bible one bit because there is no "contradiction" (as you say). Its just not listed as a quote. Every Christian knows that God (Jesus) speaks to them personally about things and confirms it to other believers. Nice try bud.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1148563
03/17/2013 03:37 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
#2 Jesus did teach this. Paul wasn't making a direct quote, he was referrencing general teachings.
 Quoting: Morganite


35 In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’

Paul proclaims Jesus did say this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


Yes you are right. But the bible does not list every word that Jesus said. Remember, Paul met the Lord on the road to Damascus, and also was in communion with the Lord all the time. Just because the bible does not list the quote does not mean that Jesus didn't say it. There are many things God says to his followers personally that are not listed in the bible. Paul (or the group of people he was with and talking to) was just reminding the people to remember what Jesus had told them as a group personally. So what is wasn't list in the bible as a quote. This does not disqualify the bible one bit because there is no "contradiction" (as you say). Its just not listed as a quote. Every Christian knows that God (Jesus) speaks to them personally about things and confirms it to other believers. Nice try bud.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35454661


So you're all schizophrenic?
Judethz
Israel is Eternal

User ID: 20521597
United Kingdom
03/17/2013 03:58 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)

This isn't helping your case.
 Quoting: Life and Love


I don't have a "case."

You don't either, because all you have done is copied someone else's content without adding a single original thought to it. All 41 have been amply discussed in the literature and don't need a rehash here in an amateur forum.

Until you can come up with an original addition, there's nothing to which I need to reply.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


9teen I like your logical thinking process. lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36362608
Switzerland
03/17/2013 12:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)

This isn't helping your case.
 Quoting: Life and Love


I don't have a "case."

You don't either, because all you have done is copied someone else's content without adding a single original thought to it. All 41 have been amply discussed in the literature and don't need a rehash here in an amateur forum.

Until you can come up with an original addition, there's nothing to which I need to reply.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


:9teen: I like your logical thinking process. lol
 Quoting: Life and Love


If my 'logic' you mean stupidity, then agreed. There has not been one 'logical' ChristTard response in this entire thread.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10858311
United States
03/17/2013 01:24 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
If the bible is the infallible word of 'God' & God is perfect, then why are there so many mistakes in it? Is this an admission that God is not perfect?

Here's a compilation of New Testament contradictions:

Gospel Contradictions:

1) How many generations were there between Abraham to David?
Matthew 1:17 lists fourteen generations. Matthew 1:2 lists thirteen generations.

If the Gospels are the infallible word of God, why are they so poorly written? Is God bad with details?


This is reproduced with fair use, none of the material on EvilBible.com is copyrighted except for pages that have a copyright notice on them, and anyone is granted permission to use and copy the non-copyrighted material as they see fit.

Learn More: [link to www.evilbible.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


Matthew divides the genealogy from Abraham to Jesus into three sections of 14 generations each. (Mt 1:17) This division may have been made as a memory aid. However, in counting the names we find that they total 41, rather than 42. One suggestion as to how they may be counted is as follows: By taking Abraham to David, 14 names, then using David as the starting name for the second 14, with Josiah as the last; finally, by heading the third series of 14 names with Jeconiah (Jehoiachin) and ending with Jesus. Notice that Matthew repeats the name David as the last of the first 14 names and as the first of the next 14. Then he repeats the expression “the deportation to Babylon,” which he links with Josiah and his sons.—Mt 1:17.

As stated earlier, Matthew may have copied his list exactly from the public register that he used, or he may have purposely left out some links with a view to aiding memory. However, a suggestion as to the omission here of three kings of David’s line between Jehoram and Uzziah (Azariah) is that Jehoram married wicked Athaliah of the house of Ahab, the daughter of Jezebel, thereby bringing this God-condemned strain into the line of the kings of Judah. (1Ki 21:20-26; 2Ki 8:25-27) Naming Jehoram as first in the wicked alliance, Matthew omits the names of the next three kings to the fourth generation, Ahaziah, Jehoash, and Amaziah, the fruits of the alliance.—Compare Mt 1:8 with 1Ch 3:10-12. [link to wol.jw.org]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1416114
Sweden
03/17/2013 01:30 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


There are no contradictions in the Bible. So besides that fact, what's it to you? C&P someone else's lies and come here to start an argument so you can feel important, or special eh!

Well guess what, all you show is your ignorance.

So now I'm going to enlighten you a little. If you believe what you posted is true, It's because God is messing with you.

It's a test! So far you are failing miserably, but that's OK, you still have a little time left to get it right.

But the one thing you don't wanna do, is come back here demanding any one else to do your work for you, K!

Here, have a tomato.


tomato
 Quoting: neverfear


So what you are saying is that the OP has not got correct Bible quotes.

Since the once OP has provided clearly showes contradictions.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10858311
United States
03/17/2013 01:36 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
I don't understand:

Adam and Eve had 2 sons. They went out and found 2 women to marry. Since A&E were the only people on earth, the 2 women had to be their daughters. So all 4 of the kids committed incest.


Abraham took a mistress. This was OK with God?
Abraham heard voices. Telling him to kill. So he went to kill his own son. This sounds like a schitsophrenic and/or psycopath to me.

Th bible can be like a sexy novel or a horror story depending on what part you're reading.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 781996


They married their sisters. there was'nt a law against 'incest' at the time. People were created perfect and hadn't deteriorated enough by then for inbreeding to be a danger.

Jesus set the standard for Christians "one man married to one woman" , "one flesh" [inseparable]. Before then men could be polygamous. It wasn't necessarily a good idea on Sarah's part, and it didn't work out well, but it wasn't illegal.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33274985
Germany
03/17/2013 01:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
If the bible is the infallible word of 'God' & God is perfect, then why are there so many mistakes in it? Is this an admission that God is not perfect?

Here's a compilation of New Testament contradictions:

Gospel Contradictions:

1) How many generations were there between Abraham to David?
Matthew 1:17 lists fourteen generations. Matthew 1:2 lists thirteen generations.

2) Is Paul lying? In Acts 20:35 Paul told people "to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" Since Jesus never made such a biblical statement, isn’t Paul guilty of deception?

3) When did the leper become not a leper? (Matthew 8:13 & 8:14) Jesus healed the leper before visiting the house. (Mark 1:29-30 & 1:40-42) Jesus healed the leper after visiting Simon Peter’s house.

4) Who approached Jesus? (Matthew 8:5-7) The Centurion approached Jesus, beseeching help for a sick servant. (Luke 7:3 & 7:6-7) The Centurion did not approach Jesus. He sent friends and elders of the Jews.

5) Was she dead or just dying? (Matthew 9:18) He asked for help, saying his daughter was already dead. (Luke 8:41-42) Jairus approached Jesus for help, because his daughter was dying.

6) Just what did Jesus instruct them to take? (Matthew 10:10) Jesus instructed them not to take a staff, not to wear sandals. (Mark 6:8-9) Jesus instructed his disciples to wear sandals and take a staff on their journey.

7) When did John find out Jesus was the Messiah? (Matthew 11:2-3) While imprisoned. John the Baptist sent followers to Jesus to inquire if Jesus was the messiah. (Luke 7:18-22) While imprisoned. John the Baptist sent followers to Jesus to inquire if Jesus was the Messiah. (John 1 :29-34,36) John already knew Jesus was the Messiah.

8) Who made the request? (Matthew 20:20-21) Their mother requested that James and John, Zebedee’s children, should sit beside Jesus in his Kingdom. (Mark 10:35-37) James and John, Zebedee’s children, requested that they should sit beside Jesus in his Kingdom.

9) What animals were brought to Jesus? (Matthew 21:2-7) two of the disciples brought Jesus an ass and a colt from the village of Bethphage. (Mark 11:2-7) They brought him only a colt.

10) When did the fig tree hear of its doom? (Matthew 21:17-19) Jesus cursed the fig tree after purging the temple. (Mark 11:14-15 & 20) He cursed it before the purging.

11) When did the fig tree keel? (Matthew 21:9) The fig tree withered immediately. and the disciples registered surprise then and there. (Mark 11:12-14 & 20) The morning after Jesus cursed the fig tree, the disciples noticed it had withered and expressed astonishment.

12) Was John the Baptist Elias? "This is Elias which was to come." Matthew 11:14 "And they asked him, what then? Art thou Elias? And he said I am not." John l:21

13) Who was the father of Joseph? Matthew 1:16 The father of Joseph was Jacob. Luke 3 :23 The father of Joseph was Heli. Christians shall try to LIE and tell you that one is the heritage of Mary and the other Joseph. This is utter bullshit, the Hebrew and Greek cultures NEVER regarded the bloodline of the mother. They were patriarchal societies which only concerned themselves with paternal lineage.

14) How many generations were there from the Babylon captivity to Christ? Matthew 1:17 Fourteen generations, Matthew 1:12-16 Thirteen generations.

15) Egypt? Matthew 2:15, 19 & 21-23 The infant Christ was taken into Egypt. Luke 2:22 & 39 The infant Christ was NOT taken to Egypt.

16) Where did Christ preach his first sermon? Matthew 5:1-2 Christ preached his first sermon on the mount. Luke 6:17 & 20 Christ preached his first sermon in the plain.

17) Was John in Prison? John was in prison when Jesus went into Galilee. Mark 1:14 John was not in prison when Jesus went into Galilee. John 1:43 & 3:22-24

18) What was the nationality of the woman who besought Jesus? Matthew 15:22 "And behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, Have mercy on me, 0 Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil." Mark 7:26 "The woman was a Greek, a Syrophenician by nation, and she besought him that he would cast forth the devil out of her daughter."

19) How many blind men besought Jesus? Matthew 20:30 Two blind men. Luke 18:35-38 Only one blind man.

20) Where did the devil take Jesus first? (Matthew 4:5-8) The Devil took Jesus first to the parapet of the temple, then to a high place to view all the Kingdoms of the world. (Luke 4:5-9) The Devil took Jesus first to a high place to view the kingdoms, then to the parapet of the temple.

21) Can one pray in public? (Matthew 6:5-6) Jesus condemned public prayer. (1 Timothy 2:8) Paul encouraged public prayer.

22) If we decide to do good works, should those works be seen? Matthew 5:16 "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works." 1 Peter 2:12 "Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that ... they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation." This contradicts: Matthew 6:1-4 "Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them…that thine alms may be in secret." Matthew 23:3-5 "Do not ye after their [Pharisees'] works ... all their works they do for to be seen of men."

23) Who did Jesus tell the Lord’s Prayer to? (Matthew 5:1, 6:9-13 & 7:28) Jesus delivered the Lord’s Prayer during the Sermon on the Mount before the multitudes. (Luke 11:1-4) He delivered it before the disciples alone, and not as part of the Sermon on the Mount.

24) When was Christ crucified? Mark 15:25 "And it was the third hour and they crucified him." John 19:14-15 "And it was the preparation of the Passover, and about the sixth hour; and he saith unto the Jews, Behold your king…Shall I crucify your king?" John 19:14-15.

25) The two thieves reviled Christ. (Matthew 27:44 & Mark 15:32) Only one of the thieves reviled Christ. Luke 23:39-40.

26) Baptism? In 1 Corinthians 1:17 ("For Christ sent me [Paul] not to baptize but to preach the gospel") Paul said Jesus was wrong when he said in Matthew 28:19 "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them…" Clearly one of these people is wrong, either way, it’s a contradiction.

27) When did Satan enter Judas? Satan entered into Judas while at the supper. John 13:27 Satan entered Judas before the supper. Luke 23:3-4 & 7

28) How many women came to the sepulcher? John 20:1 Only one woman went, Mary Magdalene. Matthew 28:1 Mary Magdalene and the "other Mary" (Jesus’ mother) went.

29) When & who went to the sepulcher? Mark 16:2 It was sunrise when the two women went to the sepulcher. John 20:1 It was still dark (before sunrise) when Mary Magdalene went alone to the sepulcher.

30) How many angels were there? There were two angels seen by the women at the sepulcher and they were standing up. Luke 24:4 There was only one angel seen and he was sitting down. Mark 28:2-5

31) How many angels were within the sepulcher? John 20:11-12 two, Mark 16:5 one.

32) Holy Ghost timing? The Holy Ghost bestowed at Pentecost. Acts 1:5-8 & 2:1-4 The holy Ghost bestowed before Pentecost. John 20:22

33) Where did Jesus first appear to the eleven disciples? In a room in Jerusalem. Luke 24:32-37 On a mountain in Galilee. Matthew 28:15-17

34) Where did Christ ascend from? From Mount Olivet. Acts 1:9-12 From Bethany. Luke 24:50-51

35) Can all sins be forgiven? (Acts 13:39) All sins can be forgiven. Great, I’m happy to know God is so merciful, but wait (Mark 3:29) Cursing or blaspheming the Holy Spirit is unforgivable.

36) The Elijah mystery: (Malachi 4:5) Elijah must return before the final days of the world. (Matthew 11:12-14) Jesus said that John the Baptist was Elijah. (Matthew 17:12- 13) Jesus insists that Elijah has already come, and everyone understood him to mean John the Baptist. (Mark 9:13) Jesus insists that Elijah has already come. (John 1:21) John the Baptist maintained that he was not Elijah.

37) Who purchased the potter’s field? Acts 1:18 The field was purchased by Judas. John 20:1 The potter’s field was purchased by the chief priests.

38) Did Paul's attendants hear anything? Paul’s attendants heard the miraculous voice and stood speechless. Acts 9:7 Paul’s attendants did not hear the voice and were prostrate. Acts 22:9 & 26:14

39) Who bought the Sepulcher? Jacob, Josh 24:32 Abraham, Acts 7:16

40) Was it lawful for the Jews to put Christ to death? "The Jews answered him, we have a law, and by our law he ought to die." John 19:7 "The Jews therefore said unto him, It is not lawful for us to put any man to death." John 18:31

41) Has anyone ascended up to heaven? Elijah went up to heaven: "And Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven." 2 Kings 2:11 "No man hath ascended up to heaven but he that came down from heaven, even the son of man." John 3:13


If the Gospels are the infallible word of God, why are they so poorly written? Is God bad with details?


This is reproduced with fair use, none of the material on EvilBible.com is copyrighted except for pages that have a copyright notice on them, and anyone is granted permission to use and copy the non-copyrighted material as they see fit.

Learn More: [link to www.evilbible.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445



Boring.

[link to ddt.lefora.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10858311
United States
03/17/2013 01:52 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
The Tower of Babel

1Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. 2As people moved eastward,a they found a plain in Shinarb and settled there.

3They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. 4Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

5But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. 6The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

8So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. 9That is why it was called Babelc —because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.


Another example of god causing confusion and destruction

Some god?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36319826


They could have nuked the earth to smithereens if nothing was impossible to them. When they were scattered they carried the same religion with them all over the planet. This why we find pyramids, human sacrifice, belief in an immortal soul, belief in punishment after death,belief in predestination, belief in a trinity, and all sorts of unscriptural doctrines to be common the world over.

"" As fascinating as the Bible account about God’s intervention at Babel may be, something even more interesting and important has occurred in our time. Through his prophet Zephaniah, Jehovah foretold: “Then I shall give to peoples the change to a pure language, in order for them all to call upon the name of Jehovah, in order to serve him shoulder to shoulder.” (Zeph. 3:9) What is that “pure language,” and how can we learn to speak it -fluently?"" [link to wol.jw.org]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6853586
United States
03/17/2013 02:05 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
Any other takers besides the two people that offer no rebuttal and instead only attack me?

Probably not, yawn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


Any other takers besides the two people that offer no rebuttal and instead only attack me?

Probably not, yawn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


PARAPHRASING scripture.... from an online bible.

There is nothing to defend.

Go buy a king James bible, read it...

Then come here with your contradictions. I'll save you time, there aren't any.


(oh grats on figuring out how to copy and paste from another web site...master troll skillz)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1416114
Sweden
03/17/2013 02:09 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
Any other takers besides the two people that offer no rebuttal and instead only attack me?

Probably not, yawn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


Any other takers besides the two people that offer no rebuttal and instead only attack me?

Probably not, yawn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


PARAPHRASING scripture.... from an online bible.

There is nothing to defend.

Go buy a king James bible, read it...

Then come here with your contradictions. I'll save you time, there aren't any.


(oh grats on figuring out how to copy and paste from another web site...master troll skillz)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6853586


So in The King James Bible there is no difference in these verses?

"Matthew 1:17 lists fourteen generations. Matthew 1:2 lists thirteen generations."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36362608
Switzerland
03/17/2013 02:15 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: The bible is full of shit! (New Testament Contradiction Edition)
Any other takers besides the two people that offer no rebuttal and instead only attack me?

Probably not, yawn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


Any other takers besides the two people that offer no rebuttal and instead only attack me?

Probably not, yawn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33398445


PARAPHRASING scripture.... from an online bible.

There is nothing to defend.

Go buy a king James bible, read it...

Then come here with your contradictions. I'll save you time, there aren't any.


(oh grats on figuring out how to copy and paste from another web site...master troll skillz)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6853586


See page 1, moron. 41 Contradictions listed. Fail.

News