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so why you are NOT married?

 
Grace11

User ID: 7452244
United States
03/17/2013 11:52 AM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Because marriage has nothing to do with love. It's just a social construction designed for the purpose of disconnecting us from our true selves and creating friction between men and women. You never know how long you're going to be attracted to/compatible with a person. It can last for a few wks, months, years. You just don't know.
I've never been married but did live with a man for
eight years. Nothing bad happened, we just grew apart.
Since I've been living alone I have peace I'd never
known before and am more in touch with my true spirit. When you live with others - lover/family/roommates, it distracts you from self-contemplation.
Most people just don't want to be alone and ignorant societal pressure is still rampant. Still, people still think there's 'something wrong with you' if you're not married. Or they think you're gay which is the most ridiculous ignorant thought because I could just as easily say I don't want to be married because I want to have sex with a lot of guys. Not saying there aren't people who haven't been happily married for years, but most married people I know are not happy. Even if you do find someone you're happy with for the rest of your life, I don't see the purpose of 'legalizing' it and 'setting it in stone' which is all just based on insecurity and societal pressure.
Grace11
daisy
User ID: 34495736
United States
03/17/2013 11:53 AM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
@daisy - that's an awesome love story! it's nice to read about happy couples.
i lacked discernment - my ex was abusive and i was in some kinda stockholm syndrome.
there was this cute sweet polite guy in high school who i had amazing chemistry with, had so much fun whenever i was around him, but i already had a boyfriend (who was also abusive and so my head was messed up at that time), but i think he is the ONE. i cannot remember his name though. :( he could be happily married with kids for all i know and i'm doomed to be alone for the rest of my life. well, i just pray for God's will to be done.

God bless you and your family! you did it right!!! you listened to your inner voice and God's guidance and have had a life of happiness as a result. smart lady!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32227267


happy to share my story hf

and fwiw, I've had my share of tough times, no one gets through many years of marriage with out some ups and downs once in a while, but again, its the FRIENDSHIP and LOVE that keeps you together when you think its falling apart. Luckily, I've had more good times than bad, but I live in the same world as everyone here, with the same temptations and threats that everyone else faces. Its all about your awareness in this world. Threats come at us from all different directions day in and day out.

Stay on the same page with your mate and never let the enemy <insert enemy/vice here> get the upper hand/control. The best way to do this is to always allow open, honest communication and never judge. Be willing to listen. When I was younger, one of my bad characteristics is that I was somewhat selfish and was a poor listener. now I LISTEN more. In doing this, we have open communication all the time. Nothing is off limits to talk about. He knows all my stuff and I know his. And of course I am not naive, we all keep a few things hidden, but eventually they all come out sooner or later for couples that are truly ONE. And there is nothing better than being able to expose your true inner self to someone you trust, someone that can help you and guide you when you feel like you are all alone in this world. IDK what I would do without him, he's been my rock for so long. hf
Rose
User ID: 36362014
Spain
03/17/2013 11:56 AM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Because marriage has nothing to do with love. It's just a social construction designed for the purpose of disconnecting us from our true selves and creating friction between men and women. You never know how long you're going to be attracted to/compatible with a person. It can last for a few wks, months, years. You just don't know.
I've never been married but did live with a man for
eight years. Nothing bad happened, we just grew apart.
Since I've been living alone I have peace I'd never
known before and am more in touch with my true spirit. When you live with others - lover/family/roommates, it distracts you from self-contemplation.
Most people just don't want to be alone and ignorant societal pressure is still rampant. Still, people still think there's 'something wrong with you' if you're not married. Or they think you're gay which is the most ridiculous ignorant thought because I could just as easily say I don't want to be married because I want to have sex with a lot of guys. Not saying there aren't people who haven't been happily married for years, but most married people I know are not happy. Even if you do find someone you're happy with for the rest of your life, I don't see the purpose of 'legalizing' it and 'setting it in stone' which is all just based on insecurity and societal pressure.
 Quoting: Grace11


Also, very true.
thetrickybigguy
say hello to my little friend...

User ID: 36348518
United States
03/17/2013 11:57 AM

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Re: so why you are NOT married?
@daisy - that's an awesome love story! it's nice to read about happy couples.
i lacked discernment - my ex was abusive and i was in some kinda stockholm syndrome.
there was this cute sweet polite guy in high school who i had amazing chemistry with, had so much fun whenever i was around him, but i already had a boyfriend (who was also abusive and so my head was messed up at that time), but i think he is the ONE. i cannot remember his name though. :( he could be happily married with kids for all i know and i'm doomed to be alone for the rest of my life. well, i just pray for God's will to be done.

God bless you and your family! you did it right!!! you listened to your inner voice and God's guidance and have had a life of happiness as a result. smart lady!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32227267


happy to share my story hf

and fwiw, I've had my share of tough times, no one gets through many years of marriage with out some ups and downs once in a while, but again, its the FRIENDSHIP and LOVE that keeps you together when you think its falling apart. Luckily, I've had more good times than bad, but I live in the same world as everyone here, with the same temptations and threats that everyone else faces. Its all about your awareness in this world. Threats come at us from all different directions day in and day out.

Stay on the same page with your mate and never let the enemy <insert enemy/vice here> get the upper hand/control. The best way to do this is to always allow open, honest communication and never judge. Be willing to listen. When I was younger, one of my bad characteristics is that I was somewhat selfish and was a poor listener. now I LISTEN more. In doing this, we have open communication all the time. Nothing is off limits to talk about. He knows all my stuff and I know his. And of course I am not naive, we all keep a few things hidden, but eventually they all come out sooner or later for couples that are truly ONE. And there is nothing better than being able to expose your true inner self to someone you trust, someone that can help you and guide you when you feel like you are all alone in this world. IDK what I would do without him, he's been my rock for so long. hf
 Quoting: daisy 34495736


good for you daisy...

as for ME, i'd rather be lonely, than miserable! LOL
Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. ~

Life is about choices, you get to make them each and every day of your life. ~

Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.~

Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.~

“When a government is dependent for money upon the bankers, they and not the government leaders control the nation. This is because the hand that gives is above the hand that takes. Financiers are without patriotism and without decency.”
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 643083
Moldova, Republic of
03/17/2013 11:58 AM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Women are sex and family, but even more- a Burden! Not everyone wants that. Men's only hope is Love, only through love we can cherish women and never hate them.
daisy
User ID: 34495736
United States
03/17/2013 12:02 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Because marriage has nothing to do with love. It's just a social construction designed for the purpose of disconnecting us from our true selves and creating friction between men and women. You never know how long you're going to be attracted to/compatible with a person. It can last for a few wks, months, years. You just don't know.
I've never been married but did live with a man for
eight years. Nothing bad happened, we just grew apart.
Since I've been living alone I have peace I'd never
known before and am more in touch with my true spirit. When you live with others - lover/family/roommates, it distracts you from self-contemplation.
Most people just don't want to be alone and ignorant societal pressure is still rampant. Still, people still think there's 'something wrong with you' if you're not married. Or they think you're gay which is the most ridiculous ignorant thought because I could just as easily say I don't want to be married because I want to have sex with a lot of guys. Not saying there aren't people who haven't been happily married for years, but most married people I know are not happy. Even if you do find someone you're happy with for the rest of your life, I don't see the purpose of 'legalizing' it and 'setting it in stone' which is all just based on insecurity and societal pressure.
 Quoting: Grace11


you make some great points. as I said earlier on, marriage is not for everyone, nor should you define yourself by it, but if you do decide to get married, give it everything you've got. I know many people who are happy and not married and they are also the type of people that have not conformed to society's expectations. I hope I live a long married life because I am truly in love with my hubby, but should I become single for some reason, I would embrace that time and look fondly on my memories of marriage and what it taught me about me. I love me. I also love being married. But that is because being married to the right person makes me a better me. I think blink

tomato

5a

I think these things are not in our control, cuz I still pinch myself some days wondering how I got so lucky. (well, actually I know why, but I'll keep that my lil secret...)
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
United States
03/17/2013 12:13 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
I've posted this poem before on GLP, but here it is again.

Many years ago I was asked to set it to music to be used at the wedding of some friends. To me the words describe so much of the potential of marriage and that seemed like a good thing to share on this thread.

Heart to Heart
--------------
A friend, a special treasure, a gift from God above.
To share the secrets of your soul, to share a precious love.
One there to share your triumphs, still there to share your tears.
One who has the strength and love to share your greatest fears.

Someone who cares about you, someone you care for, too.
Someone who knows your deepest thoughts, shared with just a few.
Someone to share the closeness, the hope, the joy, the love.
Someone who shares your hope and faith and trust in God above.

A source of strength through sorrow, who's there in time of need.
A heart that reaches out to give, by thought and word and deed.
You've found a strength together, that is not found by one,
And two can bear a burden that would conquer one alone.

A very special someone, who wants to give and share.
A very precious someone, a friend who's always there.
Someone you can feel safe with, someone who you hold dear;
Someone you can rely on, whether you are far or near.

As your two lives are joined as one, a stronger life is formed.
Together you will find the strength to weather every storm.
Hand in hand before the Lord, today you make this start.
You have His promise made in love, that binds you heart to heart.
 Quoting: Heart to Heart

We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31007614
United States
03/17/2013 12:17 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Because the woman I am in love with is married to someone else.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35346996
United States
03/17/2013 12:18 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
45 REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
3. Beer stains wash out.
4. Beer doesn't have to get a new dress for a party.
5. Beer never has a headache.
6. When a beer goes flat, you just toss it out.
7. Beer is never late.
8. Beer doesn't have a birthday for you to forget.
9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
10. Beer doesn't argue with you about when to drink it.
ll. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
l2. Beer doesn't get upset when you come home and decide to have another beer.
13. Beer never threatens to go to a lawyer.
14. Beer labels come off without a fight.
15. A beer always goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
17. No court has ever granted a beer alimony payments.
18. You can share a beer with your friends.
19. After you have had a beer, the bottle is still worth something.
20. Hangovers go away.
21. Beers never require expensive permanent and hair tints.
22. Beer is always wet.
23. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you pour your beer right, you'll always get a good head.
26. Beer can be easily eliminated.
27. Beer is only stopping by, it doesn't stay around and nag.
28. Beer doesn't demand equality.
29. A frigid beer is a good beer.
30. You don't have to take expensive flowers home to your beer.
31. Beer never complains about when you come for it.
32. You don't have to take your beer to a psychiatrist to get it to bubble.
33. You can have a beer in public.
34. You can see through a beer and you know what you are getting.
35. When your beer gets upset, it settles down.
36. Beer is subject to quality control and doesn't argue about it.
37. Beer doesn't talk back to you and ask a lot of silly questions.
38. Beer doesn't ask you to take a lie detector test about when you had the
last one.
39. Beer doesn't have a Mother that goes with it.
40. If you drop a beer, there is no doctor bill.
41. Beer doesn't have anniversaries for you to forget.
42. Beer doesn't demand that you take it dancing before you can have it.
43. Beer doesn't have relatives that stop by and stay for weeks.
44. When you buy a beer, you own it.
45. Beer never cries or gets jealous.

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36368986
United States
03/17/2013 12:21 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
never met a girl who i was both attracted to and would deem marriage material. i'm 37.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36368986
United States
03/17/2013 12:22 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Because the woman I am in love with is married to someone else.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31007614


this too. i met one girl years ago i would've married but she was off limits to me for other reasons.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36342867
Brazil
03/17/2013 12:26 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Made a conscious decision not to. What's the point? My boyfriend and I (I'm female) have been together eight years and we have no plans to get married, much to the frustration and confusion of both our families. They always ask "don't you love each other? Aren't you committed to each other?" yes, of course we do/are, that's why we're still together and why we live together. But we don't need a piece of paper to prove any of that.

The only reason anyone can give me why we should get married is "for the insurance" which to me seems like a lame reason to get married since its supposedly about love. Not to mention the divorce rate is so high it's pretty pointless.

Marriage does not equal love, and vice versa. THAT'S why I'm not married.
 Quoting: oswaldkovsky



In the eyes of God the marriage is spiritual anyway. :D

When one spirit enters another and they become one, they are considered married.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36357250
United States
03/17/2013 12:26 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
lol

I have learned my lesson.
no thanks

you can keep the drama

women change after marriage.
it is all a facade to coax
you into signing your freedom
away.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36357250
United States
03/17/2013 12:28 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Adam and Eve were not married.

Eve was provided to be Adam's help mate,
not his ruler.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36368986
United States
03/17/2013 12:29 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
lol

I have learned my lesson.
no thanks

you can keep the drama

women change after marriage.
it is all a facade to coax
you into signing your freedom
away.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


yeah the story i often hear is.. the guy takes his time, to find the right/perfect woman.. he's in love.. they get married..he expects years of mutual love/affection, and here she's like "i just want to settle down, i got all that wild stuff out of my system before i got married"

and i fear i'm gonna end up like that guy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29986668
United States
03/17/2013 12:31 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
lol

I have learned my lesson.
no thanks

you can keep the drama

women change after marriage.
it is all a facade to coax
you into signing your freedom
away.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


yeah the story i often hear is.. the guy takes his time, to find the right/perfect woman.. he's in love.. they get married..he expects years of mutual love/affection, and here she's like "i just want to settle down, i got all that wild stuff out of my system before i got married"

and i fear i'm gonna end up like that guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36368986


LOL I'm a chick and I can tell you you are outta your mind if you think you'll get more sex after marriage. Trust
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36357250
United States
03/17/2013 12:36 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
LOL I'm a chick and I can tell you you are outta your mind if you think you'll get more sex after marriage.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29986668


^^^^ this is true ^^^^^

women use their box as a tool
to manipulate men

the sooner you realize this,
the sooner you can kick that
in the bud

don't fall prey to the box

it is a life sentence

and it only gets worse after
marriage

honey, can I use the credit card ??
Nope !!
well then you are cut off from the box
til you comply with my demands.

this is not marriage !!!

this is extortion !!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36368986
United States
03/17/2013 12:36 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
lol

I have learned my lesson.
no thanks

you can keep the drama

women change after marriage.
it is all a facade to coax
you into signing your freedom
away.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


yeah the story i often hear is.. the guy takes his time, to find the right/perfect woman.. he's in love.. they get married..he expects years of mutual love/affection, and here she's like "i just want to settle down, i got all that wild stuff out of my system before i got married"

and i fear i'm gonna end up like that guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36368986


LOL I'm a chick and I can tell you you are outta your mind if you think you'll get more sex after marriage. Trust
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29986668



well remind me not to marry you lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36368986
United States
03/17/2013 12:37 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
LOL I'm a chick and I can tell you you are outta your mind if you think you'll get more sex after marriage.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29986668


^^^^ this is true ^^^^^

women use their box as a tool
to manipulate men

the sooner you realize this,
the sooner you can kick that
in the bud

don't fall prey to the box

it is a life sentence

and it only gets worse after
marriage

honey, can I use the credit card ??
Nope !!
well then you are cut off from the box
til you comply with my demands.

this is not marriage !!!

this is extortion !!!

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250



at least she asks.. my boss's wife drains the bank account without telling him.. oops the mortgage check bounced.. again
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36357250
United States
03/17/2013 12:38 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
honey, can I use the credit card ??
Nope !!
well then you are cut off from the box
til you comply with my demands.

this is not marriage !!!

this is extortion !!!

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


correction:

It's legalized Extortion !!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35346996
United States
03/17/2013 12:39 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35346996


John Bird: King of Budweiser

DENVER, CO - If Budweiser is the King of Beers, John Bird is the King of Budweiser. Check out this Denver man's collection.

Bird has saved more than 16,000 Budweiser cans.

He has also decorated his house with Bud packages, labels and banners. He even builds furniture with the cans.

Bird also has some pretty strict rules for visitors at his shrine.

"Do not crush a Budweiser can or spill Budweiser, and if you do, then you're out of here, that's alcohol abuse," he said.

Bird cleans every can he saves saying he doesn't want to stink up his house. It may not surprise you to hear that Bird is a Bachelor.
[link to www.wbtv.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36357250
United States
03/17/2013 12:42 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
at least she asks.. my boss's wife drains the bank account without telling him.. oops the mortgage check bounced.. again
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36368986


my ex did that to me ONCE.

notice I said ONCE.

the happiest a man will ever be
is when he is single and free.

the happiest a women will ever be
is when she has her security blanket
providing for her every whim

this is why women get so emotionally
charged when they get married.
They know the slave ball and chain
follows the vows.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36368986
United States
03/17/2013 12:45 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
at least she asks.. my boss's wife drains the bank account without telling him.. oops the mortgage check bounced.. again
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36368986


my ex did that to me ONCE.

notice I said ONCE.

the happiest a man will ever be
is when he is single and free.

the happiest a women will ever be
is when she has her security blanket
providing for her every whim

this is why women get so emotionally
charged when they get married.
They know the slave ball and chain
follows the vows.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


i'm single, free, and well off. soo many married guys tell me they are envious of me and i'm lucky. i need to take heed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36357250
United States
03/17/2013 12:48 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
i'm single, free, and well off. soo many married guys tell me they are envious of me and i'm lucky. i need to take heed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36368986


you lucky bastard !!
lol

I mean that in a joking way ;)

my dad tried his best to warn me
when I was 18, I didn't listen.

He was right !!

I was wrong !!!

now I pass the wisdom on
to other unsuspecting young men
errrr I mean suckers.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32182750
United States
03/17/2013 12:48 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
Because the woman I am in love with is married to someone else.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31007614


ouch! :(
she might not be happy. many women put on a facade, i know i did....for 10 years.
if you love her, i think you should tell her, but of course not in a come on way...and do not have an affair. speak the truth.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36368986
United States
03/17/2013 12:51 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
you lucky bastard !!
lol

I mean that in a joking way ;)

my dad tried his best to warn me
when I was 18, I didn't listen.

He was right !!

I was wrong !!!

now I pass the wisdom on
to other unsuspecting young men
errrr I mean suckers.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


yeah.. i've heard it throughout my life from my friends dads.. now i'm hearing it from my friends.

i think this theme is really sticking with me.. thanks :)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35346996
United States
03/17/2013 12:51 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
lol

I have learned my lesson.
no thanks

you can keep the drama

women change after marriage.
it is all a facade to coax
you into signing your freedom
away.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


yeah the story i often hear is.. the guy takes his time, to find the right/perfect woman.. he's in love.. they get married..he expects years of mutual love/affection, and here she's like "i just want to settle down, i got all that wild stuff out of my system before i got married"

and i fear i'm gonna end up like that guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36368986


I lost count of how many guys I knew whose wives divorced them after less than 2 years of marriage. There's no reason for women to stay married anymore when they can get divorced, receive monthly payments from the man, and go do whatever they want. Many of those women who divorced their husbands immediately moved in other women.

There's just no point to getting married anymore. It's NOT going to last more than a year in most cases.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32182750
United States
03/17/2013 12:53 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
honey, can I use the credit card ??
Nope !!
well then you are cut off from the box
til you comply with my demands.

this is not marriage !!!

this is extortion !!!

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


correction:

It's legalized Extortion !!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36357250


that's PROSTITUTION and if you didn't see you were marrying a whore before you did, then you are an idiot.

REAL women are not like that at all. too bad you married a whore.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36357250
United States
03/17/2013 01:00 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
that's PROSTITUTION and if you didn't see you were marrying a whore before you did, then you are an idiot.

REAL women are not like that at all. too bad you married a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32182750


lol

I have NEVER met a woman who did not
use her box as a tool to get what she
wants

I think your version of REAL women
do not exist

kinda like the tooth fairy and
the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32181255
United States
03/17/2013 01:03 PM
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Re: so why you are NOT married?
a REAL man will get plenty of sex after marriage and it will grow in excitement and intimacy as the trust grows and the bond develops.

but,

if a man is like, "i got married so i didn't have to work for it anymore." meaning he thinks he can treat you like shit all day, call you stupid, criticize your family without cause, and still thinks he's getting some....uhhhh. NO.
foreplay is an all day thing...back and forth between husband and wife.

married men who don't get sex, don't get it for a reason, bc i was more than happy to tcob on my own than f@ck (bc it wouldnt hv been making love) an asshole. if men think women hv no sex drive and don't masturbate when they aren't giving it to their husbands they are clueless.

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