so why you are NOT married?

My gf and I are going on 13 years, have 2 amazing little boys and wouldn't think of marriage! We're planning on doing it when we hit 50 years together to say 'Thank You'.
Otherwise it's all just a scam. It's a religious piece of outdated bullshit :-)

I do, it doesn't work. Sorry pal, but at 80 years old she aint going to change her tune now. I kind of blame my Dad for not keeping her ego in check but the damage is done and nothing will change it. I understand you feel like you have a perspective on it and your suggestions seem generally valid but...nah, just won;'t work. I have to be like my Dad, bite my tongue and let her do her thing. She isn't a bad woman, she does have her qualities.

ps, just joined hence the change in moniker

i can read minds.. ladies hate that..

agree, sheople will be sheople.

Yeah, right. I can tell you don't know a person like his/her mom. I was in a similar family stituation and really felt for my dad. Funny thing, I really loved both my parents a great deal. They were both great, loving people and good parents.

To the poster, your dad is a great man who believes in his wedding vows or else he would have left your mom a long time ago.

Another funny thing, from what I have observed, when the women is the more outspoken and willfull of the two, it usually is a strong healthy marriage!

I'm short too, so no big deal. I find being with tall men can sometimes be mechanically awkward, but it's not a primary issue. Height's never the main issue in selecting a partner. The main issues are, IMHO:

1) Are you an asshole or a nice person?

2) Are you smart or stupid?

3) Are you motivated or lazy?

4) Are you a skilled & thoughtful lover or some jerk who thinks sex is done just as soon as they get off (which is generally 2 mins or less)?

5) Are you open-minded & tolerant or a reactionary prejudiced person who thinks that others who are somehow different than you are "lesser than" and therefore it's OK to be abusive to them?

6) Are you someone I can trust & count on to have my back no questions asked, or are you someone who will only look after your own interests and likely dump me for some hot looking younger woman the second you know she'll have sex with you?

7) Are you trapped by some brand of religious propaganda or are you enlightened & free thinking?

8) Are you threatened by a powerful, confident woman who controls her own life (and will always do so, with or without you) or are you secure enough in your own personhood that you can be an equal partner on life's journey to such a woman without needing to try to dominate and control her?

Im against marriage. But I'm in a happy stable relationship with three kids.... So...

Interesting thread to read today on this my 40th wedding anniversary.

I was married, but it's been 12 years now since the divorce that I think I will never meet anyone I can share life with. I wish that will change and I hit it off with someone, but my confidence level is so low it's basically hopeless now.

what?.. lol.. only three stable?..

Uh?

I have a friend who will not date short men. This guy is telling it like it is! Yes, the women are shallow who are judging him by his physical appearance and not the person that he is. At least he accepts that!

Oh, and shory guy .... it ain't what you got that counts, it's how you use it! Women who don't know that are the ones missing out!

Been there, done that. Just want peace and serenity now.

There seems to have been a lot of similar threads lately, so, I have been giving the dating issue a lot of thought.
Here is something that I would like to say to you men out there.

To the men, sex is just a bodily function. Know big deal, you are born knowing what to do. It is not so for women. Women have be very repressed sexually while growing up and even into adulthood. If you try to please you sexually, we are whores. If we don't, you don't date us. Personally, it seems I have spent my whole adulthood trying to figure the sex thing out. Women spend a lifetime trying to understand their own sexuallity.

Women deserve sexual pleasure just as much as a man. I am glad to see that the younger women are more mature sexually than I was at 20 or even 30. By 40, I started to catch on a little better. Now, after menopause and the last bad relationship, the sexual desires are gone.

Men, don't call women whores, just be glad she understands sex a little better than most women!

I am married but I have a buddy who is not, and never will be. He pays for his pussy almost every payday.

He goes to a nice looking whore who knows how to fuck, pays, and leaves.

He has more money than all of his married friends, gets laid more than us, has no nagging woman saying do this, give me that, take me there.

He is not ashamed to admit it and I always love it when the topic comes up at a get-together and he has a few drinks in him... My wife made the mistake a few years ago by asking him why he did not have a girlfriend. He told he straight up that hookers are cheaper and better in bed.

Umm yeah the things were awkward for a moment as she turned red with embarrassment.

To each his own.

He told the truth.

Because after my 20th girl friend I was like you know what fuck this

A 'wife' (awful bloody word!) is just a whore. Albeit, one that doesn't know how to fuck and costs ten times as much both materially and mentally.

Then why do you men get trapped into marrying these whores as you put it? If it wasn't for you guys wanting to get married, they would have to leech off someone else. it's not just women who want to get married, it's dumbass men who think "This is finally it." LOL!

because I've been the 'nice' guy for so long..

I guess I took the social programming without realizing it so I've been excluded from the gene pool.

lucky me.

Maybe I'll find someone who wants free citizenship out of China, and someone to pay for kids, at this point that'd be great!

I posted earlier that my gf and I have been together 13 years and have 2 boys, but no way are we getting married!
If you want to fuck up a perfectly good relationship, put a ring on her finger. She will turn on you like a rabid dog. It's just a fact.
My gf earns and contributes and we split all costs 50/50. She enjoys sex so no problem there either.
Maybe I'm just lucky :-)

In a man's world a women can either be a wife or a whore. Do you understand why a woman would chose to be a wife, someone who is respected, rather than slandered?

At some point you have to stop making the same mistake over and over. After 3 failed marriages (I filed for divorce each time) I've decided I'm no good at relationships and am better off alone.

I don't relish the idea of growing old and dieing alone but at this point I would rather have some peace in my life than risk the turmoil a bad relationship brings into a persons life.

I am the rarest of the rare, a solitary bird.
The conditions of a solitary bird are five:
1) that it flies to the highest point.
2) that it does not seek after company, not even its own kind.
3) that it aims its beak to the wind.
4) that it has no definite color.
5) that it sings very quietly

Thank you. And thanks for reminding me what a good man my dad is.

I'm happily married. But here's the deal to a successful marriage, I make sacrifices. I put him first - always.

And to my happy but sometimes belated surprise, he puts me first in so many ways that I am not even aware of - because he is a man, his approach is different and not on my same wavelength... Everything he does, he does for US, for me. Its hard to see that sometimes because most people are so fixated on themselves that rarely they stand back to look at the big picture. They literally fail to stop and smell the roses along the journey of marriage/committed relationships.

I've also learned you cannot make another person love you, no matter how hard you try. Love just is. It exists and the pull and force of it is what keeps you together. So if you are the jealous, envious type, you will drive the other person crazy over time and eventually push them away. You have to let a flower bloom, its the same with love, you cannot dictate how it is going to be, it just is. You need to be in full acceptance of the person you love and not someone who wants to evoke a constant stream of change. If you crave change, change your own thinking, your own self and expectations, not the other persons.


I do think that today people have it a lot harder in terms of finding someone that they want to commit to 'forever'. There are so many negative influences tearing people apart and corrupting the pureness that used to be what attracted people to each other in the first place.

I am not naive. I am grateful for each day that passes that I have a husband to love and to be loved by, but if I ever found myself single for whatever reason, I do not believe I would ever marry again. To me, marriage is a bonding of true friendship and trust that takes years to achieve. Love is friendship set on fire. These types of relationships only happen sometimes once in a lifetime - IF at all.

The men and women that piss through relationships are only robbing themselves and these are the people that become jaded and think all men and women are shit. People become way too intimate way too soon and then wonder why the relationship didn't last more than a year. When is the last time anyone tried being just friends first and allowing a deep human trust to form before jumping in and messing it up with sex. Love is more than sex, yet sex is the driving force for so many in the beginning of the relationship, and unfortunately so many people wind up having kids they did not even plan to have or to trap the guy into remaining in their lives and vice versa.

If you keep a little mystery in your relationships in terms of the sex (don't do it all too soon), you will keep him interested for a lot longer.

Women that rush into sexual relationships and give it all up to the guy too soon and then get dumped become materialistic because once they have given themselves in such a way they don't see the reason any longer in remaining 'pure'.

They view sex as a means to getting something. I can't imagine a worse feeling for someone to feel the loss of someone they liked/loved and to have done all sorts of sexual stuff that they might not have wanted to do just to make the guy happy only to get dumped because deep down a guy doesn't want a whore in the beginning of the relationship. Women think you whore it up before marriage... NO, you show some self respect, hold back and be that whore AFTER marriage, and for all of your marriage - keep him satisfied. How many guys complain that the sex stops after marriage? they got all they wanted before and after the woman got the wedding and the kids, things slowed down.

Men are pretty easy creatures to please. But both sexes need to understand the simplicity of a union/marriage... its about having a lifelong friend for this journey in life, if you so choose to walk it with someone - and with that comes a little sacrifice and a lot of respect for each other has human beings, not as disposable people that get used and abused.

Marriage is not for everyone and there is nothing wrong with remaining single if you can't be a true, life long friend. Just don't expect to have someone to grow old with and take long walks on the beach if you can't find it in yourself to understand the true meaning of a marriage; its more about friendship. Anyone can find someone to have sex with. But marriage is an entirely different platform that truly fills the void that so many seem to be filled with.

No

She is just biding her time.

I don't sacrifice shit. She does what I say and that's all there is to it.

Your post is well put and I'm not trying to be an asshole but......in regards to your last paragraph, you don't have to be married to have all of that. Just a commitment to another person. I feel the same way about my boyfriend without the legal proceedings.

But otherwise, yes!

Great answer!