The Four Noble Truths - To Live is to Suffer

yes - a very good discussion.

Let me add this thought from Thomas Merton that I think relates to love and attachment

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”

To me this is a non-clinging, ungrasping expression of love.

Yeah figured so, bc I couldn't really believe that your posts would get low ratings lol
Anyway I think he'd have a real hard time provoking you :O)

wow OP, how un-Buddha like of you. maybe you should break out the 4 agreements to help with your aggression and ego.

wow OP, how un-Buddha like of you. maybe you should break out the 4 agreements to help with your aggression and ego.

How was I being un-Buddha? I said I had released my attachments. See my comment in bold above?

I have to admit to not understanding holding such animosity towards things not agreed with.

damn OP, you're the one with the 4 agreements. why do you keep asking why, but what do you mean...Buddha not pleased with this one, yes.

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

yes - a very good discussion.

Let me add this thought from Thomas Merton that I think relates to love and attachment

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”

To me this is a non-clinging, ungrasping expression of love.

OP, insert wall of Buddha text here:

I agree but I am searching for different answer. How can you not be attached to someone you love? I think it's not possible unless you are egoistic and stomping your emotions thus meaning you dont really love them. You cant love someone and not be hurt when they go...I just can see that happening.

I released all my attachments,trying to please others. Because you never will. like Antipas..the faithful witness mentioned in Rev. 2:13

When Antipas was advised:
"Antipas, the whole world is against you!",
Antipas reputedly replied:
"Then I am against the whole world!"

is your avatar a tarot card? please, no voodoo or Prozac, I'm begging you. It has destroyed a nation already. I implore you sir, not deception through symbols and double speak. Not the bi-polar insertions.

I think it means although you still love people,you cannot lose who you are just because they wan't you to conform to their way of thinking. You have to be yourself,or you feel as though you are living a lie.

Why would anyone try to overcome attachement to the most loved ones? Its impossible unless you stomp on your emotions.

Imo being attached to human beings you love so much is not wrong. Letting go these attachments also means stop caring/loving them when they are still alive so that you don't suffer later on?.... Thats how I see it.

Or is there still something that I am missing? Without love (this also means being attached to someone) there is no reason to live...

Totally agree.

is your avatar a tarot card? please, no voodoo or Prozac, I'm begging you. It has destroyed a nation already. I implore you sir, not deception through symbols and double speak. Not the bi-polar insertions.

Let me ramble a little bit...

Yesterday was my 40th wedding anniversary. We have fewer years ahead than we have already had. One day, one of us will pass on, and the other will grieve. There will be a sense of loss, and a sense of loss implies attachment. There are also a few others with whom I am tightly connected, and the same thing is true with them: the end of the relationship will cause me to grieve.

But I don't think it will be the type of attachment expressed by "I can't live without you." I don't feel as if I will become attached to the grief itself.

Wow congratulation on your anniversary! I will have my 6th (not married yet) anniversary with my girl next month :) But "the truth" in this thread says that you have to overcome this so you don't suffer. And this statement collides pretty hard with my thinking. "Suffering" when losing someone is the expression that you truly loved them.

I don't even think it is mean to be overcome.

Truth...as I have and still are experiencing for myself...

nice thread Sep!



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Let me ramble a little bit...

Yesterday was my 40th wedding anniversary. We have fewer years ahead than we have already had. One day, one of us will pass on, and the other will grieve. There will be a sense of loss, and a sense of loss implies attachment. There are also a few others with whom I am tightly connected, and the same thing is true with them: the end of the relationship will cause me to grieve.

But I don't think it will be the type of attachment expressed by "I can't live without you." I don't feel as if I will become attached to the grief itself.