I have so many problems. I am sorry I am coming here, but I like the responses. They are most brutally honest.
I realize I might have abandonment issues. Any time a guy will show signs he likes me, I shut down. I shy up. I can't even initiate a hi to him. Is this normal? Usually, I notice he becomes attracted to me, will try to talk to me more, and I tend to shy up even more. Then the guy will stop trying, thinking I'm not interested, when I am. I sick of being in this torture cell. I feel really dumb.
Maybe the guy doesn't like me enough to do anything, so maybe it's in my head they even like me. I get with bouts of self doubt. I hate how I shut down around guys who seem to like me, and I can't shown it back. It makes me feel really dumb.
I am 29, I shouldn't be like this. I really like this new guy, and I have made it become really awkward. He used to joke and sing to me, now I feel like I screwed it up, and it's awkward and tension. We look at each other, I catch him looking a lot, but he stopped talking more b/c I would shut down. I feel so stupid.
I am praying for help.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322 i wish i turned shy. i turn bitch.
well, i think at first i turn a bit shy and stand-offish....people take offense to that...and then i take offense to their taking offense...and on and on and on.
i'm 28.
perhaps you have experienced enough painful social/love situations to cause you to have that reaction once someone gets too close...and then they must prove it?
i feel like thats where i'm at.
like, i guess if i were in your shoes i would be telling myself that if this guy really cared and wouldn't betray me(like all the others) then he would see my pain in my shyness and shutting down-ness(?) and try to break through that or help me with it. if i'm worth it to him and he won't fuck me over then he won't run away because i'm like this.
does that make sense at all? i don't know if it does, and i don't know if its right....i think its my subconscious' bizarre way of testing whether someone is worth trusting.
maybe you need to work on your trust.
maybe you need to work on discernment.
maybe this guy showed some fraction of a reason for you to wonder if you ought to trust him or be vulnerable with him?
maybe you just need to take more time with people to be sure you can trust them so your subconscious doesn't come in and do it for you......
just my .02 cents.
and also, you aren't alone. i think MOST people are like this in some way and to some degree. ....especially at our age.
