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I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14874606
United States
03/29/2013 07:40 PM
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I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable.

Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel.

Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own.

It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are.

I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it is all bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking.

Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without...

I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery.

What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated.

Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1880593
United States
03/29/2013 07:42 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
i like your avatar picture op
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 14874606
United States
03/29/2013 07:43 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
i like your avatar picture op
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1880593


me too

Nevermore
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37014387
Argentina
03/29/2013 07:46 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Society is rotten right now, everyone thinks they hold the only truth and love to give life lessons to everyone who is against their opinion...

In my opinion, show everyone the middle finger, be yourself and be happy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37089127
Brazil
03/29/2013 07:47 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
are you drunk?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25196431
United States
03/29/2013 07:48 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Yes, nevermore.

But I do enjoy your declarations,

You are not an idiot on this end.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37049033
United States
03/29/2013 07:49 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Do not despair friend. The nexus IS almost here.


Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24280610
United States
03/29/2013 07:49 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Is OP 0bama?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 14874606
United States
03/29/2013 07:51 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
At least my One Star fanboy finally gave me a five, lol
Dr. AculaModerator
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User ID: 6860
United States
03/29/2013 07:51 PM

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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
its ok I am a fucking idiot too

hf
IAMIAM

User ID: 18016289
United States
03/29/2013 07:51 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
This is the point in life where I said enough was enough.

I looked to the heavens and said with all sincerity, YOU are my maker!

Do with me what you will.

And a calm settled over me for I had relinquished my life and trusted forevermore that what ever purpose for which I was created would be fulfilled.

With that, what is there to worry about?

It is a new beginning.

A new birth.

I became a new being.


God bless you my friend.

And may you find the peace you are searching for.
Thread: Chains

Have you the strength to break them?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 14874606
United States
03/29/2013 07:52 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Do not despair friend. The nexus IS almost here.
[link to www.youtube.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37049033


Yeah, it always is. That is the epitome of 'soon'.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 14874606
United States
03/29/2013 07:55 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Good night.

I suppose, this too shall pass.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2173919
United States
03/29/2013 07:56 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
its ok I am a fucking idiot too

hf
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


Me too hf
IAMIAM

User ID: 18016289
United States
03/29/2013 07:57 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
its ok I am a fucking idiot too

hf
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


I find idiots the most interesting of people.

You NEVER get a wall of text from an idiot.

hf
Thread: Chains

Have you the strength to break them?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3223833
India
03/29/2013 07:57 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Would you like some fries with that sire?
Azeratel Axo

User ID: 30946295
Canada
03/29/2013 07:58 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
i like your avatar picture op
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1880593


me too

Nevermore
 Quoting: Septenary Man


metooSE
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24218313
United States
03/29/2013 07:58 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
1-800-Dan Burisch didn't solve your life's dilemma?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37119290
United States
03/29/2013 07:58 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
bsflag
Azeratel Axo

User ID: 30946295
Canada
03/29/2013 07:58 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Good night.

I suppose, this too shall pass.
 Quoting: Septenary Man


No Sept

We will OVERCOME

hugs

Sweet dreams
Azeratel Axo

User ID: 30946295
Canada
03/29/2013 07:59 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
bsflag
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37119290


greenkarma



[link to youtu.be]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31510799
United States
03/29/2013 08:01 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Oh Sept...dude...we are all fucking idiots. Don't be low. Pick up yor head. 'everyting gon be awlll reet.' (say this like a Jamaican 3 times out loud).
Then you can truly declare yourself a fucking idiot.
NiNzrez

User ID: 28232082
United States
03/29/2013 08:03 PM

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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
hf
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How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35593749
United States
03/29/2013 08:04 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
i like your avatar picture op
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1880593


me too

Nevermore
 Quoting: Septenary Man


:metooSE:
 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


^
Azeratel Axo

User ID: 30946295
Canada
03/29/2013 08:05 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Oh Sept...dude...we are all fucking idiots. Don't be low. Pick up yor head. 'everyting gon be awlll reet.' (say this like a Jamaican 3 times out loud).
Then you can truly declare yourself a fucking idiot.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31510799





[link to youtu.be]

Last Edited by pi on 03/29/2013 08:06 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9936915
United States
03/29/2013 08:07 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
I'm 28 and i can't seem to escape being a fuck up. I think it may be in our DNA...maybe its destiny. Who the fuck knows. Maybe our sole existence is so make other people feel slightly better about thier own fucked up lives.
calx
God save the republic!

User ID: 36668391
United States
03/29/2013 08:08 PM

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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
I'm right there with you Septenary Man. I'm turning 37 soon but I've felt like an old man with a cane since I can remember. My whole life has been a continual walk of shame while haphazardly trying to parse the nature of reality.

That's why I drink. Karma to you!

laheyfucked
"We're chained to the world and we all gotta pull." - Tom Waits
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 14874606
United States
03/29/2013 08:08 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
hf
 Quoting: NiNzrez


Damn it is good to see your face, lol.

hugs

Good night.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37108044
Malaysia
03/29/2013 08:10 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
A cleansing ritual might help. Clean neural pathways and let bad karma go where water flows. Or simplified "let go". Hope this helps.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15706864
United States
03/29/2013 08:11 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
It's one of those Zen things ...

As soon as you truly admit that you are an idiot you cease to be an idiot ...

Welcome to the (exceedingly small) non-idiot club!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 14874606
United States
03/29/2013 08:11 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
A cleansing ritual might help. Clean neural pathways and let bad karma go where water flows. Or simplified "let go". Hope this helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37108044


That is what leads to my 'reconciliation' that I posted in the OP. Yes, I agree with you. It is a beautiful thing to do, but there are side effects.

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