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I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37185107
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03/31/2013 08:25 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Only a certified professional can declare you an idiot.
Minimum 6 appointments , at $250 per session.
Anonymous Coward
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03/31/2013 08:35 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
hey OP you a cool dude just step back for a while your a very serious person go have some fun laugh at yourself and others.... we are all fucking idiots
Azeratel Axo

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03/31/2013 08:36 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
I don't know if the GLP effect will work on this one op.
 Quoting: Chip


giggle
Azeratel Axo

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03/31/2013 08:38 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
wtf

I liked Mr. Intellectual Badass, that dude was waaaaaaaaay more fun than Mr. Fucking Idiot. He coming back anytime soon?

*taps foot impatiently*


But hugs there a hug...for your weird girly side.
 Quoting: ArunaLuna


hmm

He was also more Demiurgic

But I am a babbling lunatic, after all
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/31/2013 09:33 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
hey OP you a cool dude just step back for a while your a very serious person go have some fun laugh at yourself and others.... we are all fucking idiots
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37186444


I do need to step back for a bit. I'm not as serious as I am on GLP. Some that have know me a while on GLP know my humor.

grinning
Anonymous Coward
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03/31/2013 09:36 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
neener2 shitstir2
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/31/2013 09:36 AM
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i go through phases though. This was back in October 2012 when I wrote below. It seems all this is continuing to lessen. Like I said, I tend to put myself out there, which is why I say I'm an idiot. Hell, people here even know my real name and where I live, etc. Kind of idiotic if you think about it. But, for some reason, I always say 'fuck it'.

Again, below is when I felt similar, but it has been lessening not growing. That feels good. I guess because I put such things out there, it becomes my little journal and I can track my 'swings'.

Thread: Reconciliation
I had a discussion with Dion on my Septenary Man thread, and it is crazy when I look at my old writings, writings more than 20 years old of mine. Fuck. I've accomplished them. I was on a quest to touch my soul, my spirit, and see what I was comprised of.

Throughout my entire life there has been an ache, a longing, to struggle through all the many illusions of what we are before we have been entangled in the web of the human condition.

The human condition is comprised of unreality. It is comprised of errors and distortions and longing and blindness, and false hopes and deception and the worst of it; relying on others to find the self. Co-dependence and crutches and fantasies and all the many, many disturbing, debilitating constructs of fear and doubt.

I have asked the questions throughout my life, since the time I can remember: What are we and what are we here for?

Even when these answers become known, there is no relief or release like we think there will be. Unfortunately, learning or suspecting the answers...well the answers remain
beyond human expression. It is akin to trying to describe, in full and in perfect form beyond equivocation , the reason why you love your child, or the reason you were born. Read the tales of the saints.
[link to en.wikipedia.org]
Read of St. John of the Cross and Saint Teresa of Avila. Their experiences, according to modern day Christians on this site would be of demonic influence.

Ah, I am getting off on a tangent.

There is no 100% absolution. I know now why the religious find such comfort in believing something from outside themselves will provide full absolution. How/why? Because it cannot be done save for fantasies and beliefs and the power of conformity that chains the soul.

The chains, the restriction, the boundaries that the human condition has constructed about itself...are comforting. We have been indoctrinated, composed of since our first breath, the predisposed human fallacy of not cycles, but of a singular beginning and end.

It all needs to be redone. The holy wars, the separation, the judgements, the righteousness. There is a problem though. Before, these things were isolated ideologies. Now, they consume the world. Not to mention the vices of greed and vanity.

We are due a cleansing. Cleansing does not mean death, but it does mean a painful SCRUB; a painful clearing of things attached to us that are not of our own self.

ALL the things you experience in this life are your own...

~ I need to get back in touch with myself. I have strayed a very long way from my center. It is difficult being this sensitized to the world, to the people surrounding my life.
I want to go deep, deep down into the thing that I am. Touch my soul and release it. Let it flow out and consume my subjective being.
I can sense it here. I feel it. It’s just out of sight. It feels strange. It is here. And it is me. But it feels like someone else.
I hope one day I allow it to span this chasm of fear and sorrow that I have dug. Let my soul cross it, and like the sands beneath the ocean waves, I will let it engulf me and let it preside over the confusion and doubts that have constructed my life.

 Quoting: Saptaparna
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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03/31/2013 09:37 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
neener2 shitstir2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25196431


rex
Anonymous Coward
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03/31/2013 09:44 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
if you've never seen the movie 'revolver'. watch it. if you've ever taken a suggestion from a glpr..this would be the time to do it.

if you've seen the movie revolver, watch it again.
Anonymous Coward
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03/31/2013 09:45 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
pink etheric blankets of chill to you pal
may it wrap you in oblivion when you next touch down to sleep

it's there you need to let go and let (part) of yourself switch off i think

and trust that the work you do there is just as awesome when part of you is allowed to forget

much love
doomsucker
aka doomsucker

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03/31/2013 09:48 AM

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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
i like your avatar picture op
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1880593


me too

Nevermore
 Quoting: Septenary Man


Shipwreck is what you shoud have as an avitar...lol
THE UNITED STATES


"People have just about had enough, and civil disobedience will only grow greater in the months and years ahead. This is what happens when a nation morphs into a deranged, oligarchic police state."


'Politicians are like diapers; they need to be changed often and for the same reason.' - Mark Twain



sheep1sheeeeeeeeeppepe
Anonymous Coward
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03/31/2013 09:57 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
if you've never seen the movie 'revolver'. watch it. if you've ever taken a suggestion from a glpr..this would be the time to do it.

if you've seen the movie revolver, watch it again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19932676



My favorite movie off all time.


thumbs
Anonymous Coward
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03/31/2013 09:59 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
i like your avatar picture op
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1880593


me too

Nevermore
 Quoting: Septenary Man


Shipwreck is what you shoud have as an avitar...lol
 Quoting: doomsucker



lmao


I would just come back as a ghost ship.
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2013 08:17 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
hiding
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2013 08:19 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
:strange 88:
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2013 08:22 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
hang in there Ss. Many of us are inspired by your writings and experiences even though we may not let you know that all the time.
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2013 08:32 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
:strange 88:
 Quoting: Penultimate


Oh my stars, that explains my ailment! LOL
Love it...
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2013 08:33 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
I can pretty much guarantee that it's all bullshit

You have to find yourself before you can be true to yourself
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2013 08:36 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable.

Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel.

Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own.

It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are.

I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it is all bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking.

Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without...

I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery.

What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated.

Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you.
 Quoting: Septenary Man


Jihad bro Jihad.....Holy war against yourself....

I feel your pain.
Azeratel Axo

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04/02/2013 08:38 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
:strange 88:
 Quoting: Penultimate


Oh my stars, that explains my ailment! LOL
Love it...
 Quoting: ArunaLuna




[link to youtu.be]
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2013 09:07 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable.

Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel.

Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own.

It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are.

I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it is all bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking.

Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without...

I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery.

What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated.

Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you.
 Quoting: Septenary Man


Jihad bro Jihad.....Holy war against yourself....

I feel your pain.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1137351


a good friend once said these things to me....

"i reject all illusion, all manifest constructs, all effects, all forms, all selves, all things.
i reject all words, all thoughts, all concepts, all notions, all feelings, all manifest states, all ideas, all realizations.
i reject all
it does not exist
i reject all that that there are words for
i reject all speech and all spoken and all sounds
i reject knowing
i reject my self
i reject past, present and future
i reject time and space
i reject energy, frequency and vibration
i reject creation
i reject all cause and effect
it is illusion
it is a construct
it is a perception
it is a production, a playground, a toy, an experiment, a project
there is only that
which there are no words for
no concept
no explanation
unspeakable
causeless
and i reject the words i use for it
for they are limiting in scope
i reject all words and knowledge and feeling
and what i am left with..............."
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2013 09:09 AM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
:strange 88:
 Quoting: Penultimate


ohyeah
Anonymous Coward
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07/24/2013 12:06 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
I have moved on past this feeling in the OP.

cheer
The Jerk
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07/24/2013 12:29 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Lol. Good post, and it does all get boring, processing, processing, changing, blah.

But! Is it wrong to announce your thoughts and intuitions all over the net? I don't think so. When you know there is more going on than most people in the world, and you have the ability to explain it, and you cannot find an audience in your immediate environment, then taking it to the world is all you can do. In fact, it is probably what you were supposed to do with it.

When you know people need to work together to bring about a new world for us all, how can you find and connect with them if you keep quiet about being aware and ready to go yourself. You cannot draw those you need to meet into your life, if you hide your purpose or plans.

The main problem then is the variety of people in your audience, as you cannot target those who would want to hear your message like you can in person. So then you encounter all sorts of abuse, arguments and opposition.

But was it wrong to provoke those? When in amongst it all you found some people of a similar heart and soul understanding.

That was why I became an AC not long after joining. I noticed the good posters attracted a following, and also hecklers or detractors. I didn't want to be noticed by either group. But, the information still needs to get out there, and discussion generated.

So again, the problem is not in doing what we do, it is in how others react to it.

Like the person who said they partied hard and walked the walk of shame often. Did you feel shame while you were walking it? Usually you are still laughing about the escapades of the night before. It is only once we are totally sober again, and we consider the reaction we will now be in line for from others, that we begin to wish we behaved ourselves.

Seems better to call a jerk a jerk, than to label yourself one unfairly.

The Jerk
Anonymous Coward
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07/24/2013 12:39 PM
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Re: I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot
Lol. Good post, and it does all get boring, processing, processing, changing, blah.

But! Is it wrong to announce your thoughts and intuitions all over the net? I don't think so. When you know there is more going on than most people in the world, and you have the ability to explain it, and you cannot find an audience in your immediate environment, then taking it to the world is all you can do. In fact, it is probably what you were supposed to do with it.

When you know people need to work together to bring about a new world for us all, how can you find and connect with them if you keep quiet about being aware and ready to go yourself. You cannot draw those you need to meet into your life, if you hide your purpose or plans.

The main problem then is the variety of people in your audience, as you cannot target those who would want to hear your message like you can in person. So then you encounter all sorts of abuse, arguments and opposition.

But was it wrong to provoke those? When in amongst it all you found some people of a similar heart and soul understanding.

That was why I became an AC not long after joining. I noticed the good posters attracted a following, and also hecklers or detractors. I didn't want to be noticed by either group. But, the information still needs to get out there, and discussion generated.

So again, the problem is not in doing what we do, it is in how others react to it.

Like the person who said they partied hard and walked the walk of shame often. Did you feel shame while you were walking it? Usually you are still laughing about the escapades of the night before. It is only once we are totally sober again, and we consider the reaction we will now be in line for from others, that we begin to wish we behaved ourselves.

Seems better to call a jerk a jerk, than to label yourself one unfairly.

The Jerk
 Quoting: The Jerk 43974159


Damn, where did you come from?!

You've been posting some amazing stuff today. See the bold above? That was a 'mini-realization that I had. That made a big difference from the time I created this thread, to today.

I absolutely agree with everything you wrote above.

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