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How to tell if it's a TF or just an emotional affair

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12780105
United States
03/30/2013 04:27 PM
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How to tell if it's a TF or just an emotional affair
OK, I am sort of losing it right now. I started a friendship last October with a friend from high school whom I barely knew. It was like I was immediately on heroine. I was in a trance messaging with him. I'm not even sure I could you what we talked about but it seemed like I liked knowing about his life and his love life and he would say flattering things to me. My husband found out and was very jealous, so I cut off contact. My husband made me realize I was lonely and I have an addictive personality so we chalked this thing up to all that and also labeled it an emotional affair, so that made me feel guilty and kept my feelings for the TF at bay. Then, in January, he found me again and I have gone underground to be able to talk to him. Last week, after telling me he misses me even when we're chatting and he misses me when I take off (because I have to to preserve my marriage) and he feels like he wants to reach through the computer and kiss me, he then told me he says nice things like this to every crush he has but that I'm still unique to him and he means what he says and that he has a high level of affection for me. Is this just an emotional affair and I need to get a grip and move on? Me and my husband have a wonderful relationship. We are raising four awesome kids. I have a blessed life but not much passion in my marriage and not many soul conections with friends. Maybe I am just desperate and TF fills a void. I need to know what to do. I think he could also be a karmic lesson because his rejection is feeling like my dad's kind. Even though he rejected me in some way and then ran off to fall in love with a woman he dated ten years ago, I still care for him and feel like my ability to love in spite of being rejected is a sign I'm evolving. Any thoughts?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8862775
United States
03/30/2013 04:35 PM
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Re: How to tell if it's a TF or just an emotional affair
Stop feeling like your special, he's special, your feelings are special, his feelings are special...

and get a grip really fast and be aware that you're exposing yourself to a rank-and-file, nothing-special affair, and putting your marriage in great jeopardy.

Are you "evolving?"

No, you're being a self-absorbed bitch, with the emotional intelligence of a damp paper towel.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33297034
Canada
03/30/2013 04:38 PM
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Re: How to tell if it's a TF or just an emotional affair
Stop feeling like your special, he's special, your feelings are special, his feelings are special...

and get a grip really fast and be aware that you're exposing yourself to a rank-and-file, nothing-special affair, and putting your marriage in great jeopardy.

Are you "evolving?"

No, you're being a self-absorbed bitch, with the emotional intelligence of a damp paper towel.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8862775


Couldn't have said better clappa
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7230152
United States
03/30/2013 04:40 PM
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Re: How to tell if it's a TF or just an emotional affair
Shes' needy,that's what is wrong. The husband I take it is not that affectionate,but he is somewhat controlling. She's starved for attention which is why they have 4 kids.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7423518
United States
03/30/2013 04:54 PM
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Re: How to tell if it's a TF or just an emotional affair
The world could use much less judgment and that's all the vitriol spewed in the last few posts.

However know that you are not helping your marriage by reaching outside of it to fill a void.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8862775
United States
03/30/2013 05:14 PM
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Re: How to tell if it's a TF or just an emotional affair
The world could use much less judgment and that's all the vitriol spewed in the last few posts.

However know that you are not helping your marriage by reaching outside of it to fill a void.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7423518


Yes, it could certainly use much less judgement, ye who judges...

There are times to discern between "judgement" and harsh-but-true words to nip a festering disaster in the bud.

You play your "judgement" game -- I'll try to save a marriage.

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