You are on the right path OP.
Just reflect on how much God loves you and how willing He is to have mercy and grace on you. He knows our struggles with this world, the flesh and the devil as well as the scoffers and blasphemers.
If you really humble yourself before Him, He will come to you and wash and cleanse you as He promised. "If any one confesses his sin, He is faithful and just to forgive you your sin and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness." 1Jn.1:9

"For this is the man to whom I will look. He that is broken in spirit and contrite in heart and trembles at my Word."
-Isa. 66:2