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Rectum Stretcher...

 
trailingedge
where thought goes energy flows

User ID: 1267095
Australia
04/03/2013 09:53 PM

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Rectum Stretcher...
While I was driving down the motorway the other day,

(going a little faster than I should have been)

I passed under a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radar gun lying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked:

"Runway too short?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot a55hole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."


Speeding ticket: $340.00
Court costs: $145
Look on copper's face: Priceless.
where thought goes, energy flows

"youth is the ultimate wealth, and you're a bit poorer today."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36226622
Australia
04/03/2013 09:55 PM
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Re: Rectum Stretcher...
While I was driving down the motorway the other day,

 Quoting: trailingedge


In England? Cos we don't call them motorways here lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34272879
United States
04/03/2013 09:56 PM
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Re: Rectum Stretcher...
afroafroafro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17922672
United States
04/03/2013 09:57 PM
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Re: Rectum Stretcher...
iamwith
funnycnt

User ID: 17469320
Australia
04/03/2013 09:59 PM
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Re: Rectum Stretcher...
s226 gold
Starting my very own conspiracy forum make sure you check it ... [link to justnews.justfreehosting.net]
UseLessRepEATER
Those who know the least obey the best: G.F.

User ID: 35746891
United States
04/03/2013 10:06 PM

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Re: Rectum Stretcher...
shitstream
Real Eyes, Realize, Real Lies
~U.R.~

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
~H. L. Mencken~

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
~Plato~

When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations,
the truth will seem utterly preposterous and its speaker a raving lunatic.
~Dresden James~
trailingedge (OP)
where thought goes energy flows

User ID: 33798325
Australia
04/03/2013 11:15 PM

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Re: Rectum Stretcher...
bump

For a laugh in all the nuclear doom

hf
where thought goes, energy flows

"youth is the ultimate wealth, and you're a bit poorer today."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35712688
United States
04/03/2013 11:44 PM
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Re: Rectum Stretcher...
clappa

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