0verlord,

This may start out as seemingly 'stupid' but bear with me as it brings about a point. I feel as if I've purposely been through different 'stages/periods' of my life to bring about certain understandings and awakenings. I just don't know what to do with them and am looking for insight.

I'm under the age of 30 but others have classified me as what would be called an "old soul." I've always felt a sense of purpose, like I'm here for a reason, but also as if I don't entirely belong. I'm a fast learner and can grasp or at the very least accept the possibility of very complex topics that most wont even consider thinking about

My earliest questions as a child (right around the time of my first memories) were: "How do we know 'God' is not the real jerk?" "How do I know that you (as in another person) are real?" "How do I know that I'm not the only one 'real?'" "Will the world ever end?" All of these questions were between the ages of 4-7. I was also always drawn to the stars, magic (as in stage magic), and "outside the box creative thinking."

Different stages in my life almost seem purposeful. Different stages as fat geek, popular jock, almost famous, ultra religious, things that are just at total ends of the spectrum, but flowed from one to another as if they were chapters in a book. As if I had to go through certain situations or life experiences in sequence to 'remember' or 'get it' or see things from different perspectives. My theories are that they're either a quick refresher of past lives or a briefing of what I'm supposed to be doing to get me up to speed. But in hindsight it all seems guided.

My favorite books are the Alchemist and Siddhartha.

The things I've learned:

1) Perception is reality
2) Nothing is good or bad
3) There is no real truth.
4) The end is known from the beginning. The final goal or end result is thought of, and then the plan is enacted backwards. Problem-reaction-solution.
5-a) Media is control. They purposely steer the publics emotions.
5-b) Emotions are energy. If enough focus is given to one topic, that topic (or entity) is given power.
5-c) The media is purposely focusing on negative energy, to bring about something in the collective unconscious.
5-d) This may have something to do with laws of focus and manifestation
6) This is mostly just a game
7) Meditation is real and the answers are inside you
8) This is most likely like a big giant russian doll. The atoms in my body are just like the solar systems in the sky. And it goes on forever in an infinate scale in both directions.
9) Nothing can be considered "real or fake or crazy" and everything is plausible, because what we consider 'reality' right now is so incomprehensible in the first place that it's hypocrisy to call anything ridiculous. We're supposedly in a big giant orb floating in nothing. That's crazy in itself. Nothing else can be discredited.
10) The truth is inside yourself, and you can never define what "this" is in human terms. The closest you can come is in silence and it's just a feint feeling.
11) There is no good or bad. Sometimes, bad is needed for good. One example being: If your last girlfriend didn't break up with you, you may have never met your wife. Heartbreak lead to breakthrough

One period of my life was being heavily involved in the pro wrestling business. I stayed long enough just to get a glimpse of how it works at a national level, but it may have been one of the best things that could have happened. To me, it's a microcosm of how things work.

I look at it like this. In wrestling, you have the good guy and bad guy. It doesn't matter who wins or loses, or who the general manager is that publicly makes decisions on TV, because in the end, Vince McMahon and the 'writers' made all the decisions behind the scenes. And backstage, the two wrestlers might not be best friends, they might have different personal ideas, and they might not even be on the same page. And each one wants to 'get over' on the other guy to further himself and personal agenda. But in the end they all play ball because they know if they don't, they'll be released from the company and never work again. But In the end, what gets on TV is what the 'writers' decided. The long term direction of the show is already decided, no matter what cog they put in the wheel, and no matter what characters are on top. And the match outcomes are determined in advance, as well as all the incidents that lead up to the match in the first place, and the fans are drummed up into a frenzy.

My questions for you are these:

Is the best course of action to not give your attention and energy to what's happening and unplug as best you can?

Or is the best course to be a participant?

Where do we go from here?

Is the only work left to be done personal work? And what should one be looking for in such work? Whats an indication of being on the right path?

Thanks for your time