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Who likes a good Short Story?!?

 
SteveWutabi
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User ID: 1210803
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04/22/2013 06:35 PM

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Who likes a good Short Story?!?
An AC earlier today questioned what we do on a day to day basis to be able to post on GLP all the time.

Back when I was in college, I blogged a workday to see exactly where my time was being spent.

Fresh from the archives, Enjoy :)



A Day In The Life

5:13 - I arrive to work late, probably smelling of cigarettes and cologne. I'm sleepy.

6:31 - I have just now woken up. My brain is still not on a functioning level right now. I can't really channel my most thought provoking ideas. To be continued...

7:46- I am now ready to begin my day. I love this job. I only really zoned out for a couple and a half hours, but I did manage to recover a couple thoughts:

I work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8-11am. Tuesdays and Thursdays (and some MWF's) I work 5-11am. Naturally, you would assume I like MWF best, however this is not the case. My favorite days go in order:

Sunday, Saturday, Payday, Tuesday, Friday, Monday, Thursday, Wednesday.
Some good things about being at work in a Gym at 5am? Well how about the regular customers. I love seeing people I know and see every day. Another good thing is that for some reason the ladies teats tend to nip more in the early hours... I think it has something to do with the moon

Finally, I love Tuesdays and Thursdays most of all because of TEG. TEG is an acronym for Tasty Elliptical Girl. Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7:45 this smoking hot, yet down to earth girl comes in to start working out for her Body Mechanics blow off class. We small talk every time, but some days more so than others. You know how there’s always that person who you are immediately attracted to, not only on a physical basis but just the aurora around them? This is her. I've actually NEVER ASKED HER NAME....which is Ironic because I've wanted to marry this girl from the first moment I saw her.

Today is the day. I will ask of her name. Hopefully I can spit a little bit of game too, maybe pull a number. Gotta take baby steps though...I will build confidence by asking small yes/no questions...
Do you have a name?
Do you like having a name?
Do you believe in planets?


I'll work on it.
I'm going to read the Time.

7:59 - So TEG just left to go get some food. My kind of girl, going to get some McDonald's during her Body Mechanics fitness class. She was with a friend though, hard to spit game with a game-killer directly in my radar. It didn't go well though... something like this:

TEG-"Hey if coach asks if I'm here tell him I went to go get some McDonalds."

ME-"What? Ok." (Even though I don't really know your name...ask her name, it's a perfect opp...)

TEG-"Wait... where are all the PowerAde’s?"(Referring to the empty display)

ME- "I drank them all."
TEG-"What? What a fat ass!"
ME- "Yah, sorry about that."
TEG-"Did you really drink all of them?"
ME-"Yeah. I was thirsty."

Jesus Cristo what is wrong with me.

8:10 - What the fuck are catafalques?

9:31 - Catafalques is the framework that coffins rest on at funerals. Now that our collective minds are at ease, let's get back to my mission of actually growing stones enough to ask out TEG.

About an hour ago I was called in to the Chief of Campus police's office, which I think is equivalent to a peon deputy at a small town precinct. I had to I.D. a suspect in a theft up at work yesterday, and I got her. You can run, but you can't hide bad guys. The Resident is on the job.

This did however screw my plans with TEG. Her class ended before I got back from my crime-solving adventure. I talked to my Nigerian friend Victor Oslov about it, and he told me I needed to make a move. I agree, however I...well I just agree. I have to quit making excuses. I can't let my investigatory instincts lead me away from my priorities. I must get laid. Period.

9:44 - I answer a call from a lady inquiring about prices for memberships. She was the kind of customer that makes my day. Cheery mood, good humor, and qDuick witted. We talked about nothing for approximately 6 minutes and 15 seconds according to the phone timer.
"Like I said I used to be a life-guard... do y'all have any requirements as far as use of the pool goes?"...."You have to be able to swim." - excerpt from above mentioned phone conversation

10:06 - The countdown begins. 54 minutes... 53 now. The workday is winding down. I usually don't have any thought-provoking ideas in-between 10:00 and 11:00. I do notice that around 10:30 I abandon all websites. I tend to actually pace around anxiously awaiting my departure around 10:50 on Tuesdays and Thursdays for I have no classes afterwards.

I do have to go back to Big Cat's for the night though. Apparently when you wake up late for work in someone else's house there are tendencies of forgetting vital things such as cell phones and hats.

10:12 - I'm going to call it a day. I like to think of my work as The Office, and I found that today it helps move the hours along.

Last Edited by SteveWutabi on 04/22/2013 07:01 PM
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SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 07:02 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
bump
jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
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04/22/2013 07:10 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
My ego is like my penis; It's not gonna stroke itself!

10Green... Engage.

Last Edited by SteveWutabi on 04/22/2013 07:15 PM
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6253502
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04/22/2013 07:17 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
C'mon guys...

My ego is like my penis; It's not gonna stroke itself!
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


Can't we get a machine for that? rolleyes
Doesn't GLP have a forum app that we can press, like
": stroke :" and it do the work for us:

"That was so wonderful! What a great job!" rastabanan

Seriously, cool. applause
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 07:19 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Thank ya!!!

I saw they have some new underwear with sensors in it. That could be cool, if you trust a robot on your dick.

Last Edited by SteveWutabi on 04/22/2013 07:19 PM
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 38150258
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04/22/2013 07:21 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
ok is she dick witted or duck witted? take her hunting
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 07:22 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Haha she's probably married with children by now. I never did get her name.

Last Edited by SteveWutabi on 04/22/2013 07:22 PM
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1364022
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04/22/2013 07:23 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Very entertaining. Did you ever get TEG's name or number?

peace
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 07:26 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Naw... Learned a valuable lesson though!
jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1164300
United States
04/22/2013 07:44 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Honey, most of these folks cannot even read. Much less write. They haven't picked up a book since high school. And you want a short story? They don't have an a ounce of real imagination or creativity. Their average minds don't work that way anymore. Teachers don't encourage their students to write short stories in class anymore. Hell, reading is beyond low. My state,where I live, is pushing a bill through that demands that the kids learn cursive writing. Yet we have idiots who think cursive writing is past tense and out dated.

This just tells me what I have known for years. We're devolving at a faster pace than previously thought.
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 07:48 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Honey, most of these folks cannot even read. Much less write. They haven't picked up a book since high school. And you want a short story? They don't have an a ounce of real imagination or creativity. Their average minds don't work that way anymore. Teachers don't encourage their students to write short stories in class anymore. Hell, reading is beyond low. My state,where I live, is pushing a bill through that demands that the kids learn cursive writing. Yet we have idiots who think cursive writing is past tense and out dated.

This just tells me what I have known for years. We're devolving at a faster pace than previously thought.
 Quoting: hawk8414


hf I know, I don't write it for them. I write it for whomever may appreciate it! :)
jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1164300
United States
04/22/2013 07:49 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Honey, most of these folks cannot even read. Much less write. They haven't picked up a book since high school. And you want a short story? They don't have an a ounce of real imagination or creativity. Their average minds don't work that way anymore. Teachers don't encourage their students to write short stories in class anymore. Hell, reading is beyond low. My state,where I live, is pushing a bill through that demands that the kids learn cursive writing. Yet we have idiots who think cursive writing is past tense and out dated.

This just tells me what I have known for years. We're devolving at a faster pace than previously thought.
 Quoting: hawk8414


hf I know, I don't write it for them. I write it for whomever may appreciate it! :)
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


You ever heard of Grieg Beck? He's a great Australian writer. You should look him up sometime. Amazon is your friend.
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 07:52 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Honey, most of these folks cannot even read. Much less write. They haven't picked up a book since high school. And you want a short story? They don't have an a ounce of real imagination or creativity. Their average minds don't work that way anymore. Teachers don't encourage their students to write short stories in class anymore. Hell, reading is beyond low. My state,where I live, is pushing a bill through that demands that the kids learn cursive writing. Yet we have idiots who think cursive writing is past tense and out dated.

This just tells me what I have known for years. We're devolving at a faster pace than previously thought.
 Quoting: hawk8414


hf I know, I don't write it for them. I write it for whomever may appreciate it! :)
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


You ever heard of Grieg Beck? He's a great Australian writer. You should look him up sometime. Amazon is your friend.
 Quoting: hawk8414


I shall check him out.
jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
N
User ID: 38483093
United States
04/22/2013 08:13 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Who likes good scifi?

Thread: Quantum Report, New Scifi, work in progress, a time travel romp, Free entertainment
M1.618

User ID: 35747086
United States
04/22/2013 08:20 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
I read pulp fiction shorts more than novels!
wmMmw
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 08:21 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?


Gay. Do your own thread bro.
jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 08:23 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
An AC earlier today questioned what we do on a day to day basis to be able to post on GLP all the time.

Back when I was in college, I blogged a workday to see exactly where my time was being spent.

Fresh from the archives, Enjoy :)



A Day In The Life

5:13 - I arrive to work late, probably smelling of cigarettes and cologne. I'm sleepy.

6:31 - I have just now woken up. My brain is still not on a functioning level right now. I can't really channel my most thought provoking ideas. To be continued...

7:46- I am now ready to begin my day. I love this job. I only really zoned out for a couple and a half hours, but I did manage to recover a couple thoughts:

I work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8-11am. Tuesdays and Thursdays (and some MWF's) I work 5-11am. Naturally, you would assume I like MWF best, however this is not the case. My favorite days go in order:

Sunday, Saturday, Payday, Tuesday, Friday, Monday, Thursday, Wednesday.
Some good things about being at work in a Gym at 5am? Well how about the regular customers. I love seeing people I know and see every day. Another good thing is that for some reason the ladies teats tend to nip more in the early hours... I think it has something to do with the moon

Finally, I love Tuesdays and Thursdays most of all because of TEG. TEG is an acronym for Tasty Elliptical Girl. Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7:45 this smoking hot, yet down to earth girl comes in to start working out for her Body Mechanics blow off class. We small talk every time, but some days more so than others. You know how there’s always that person who you are immediately attracted to, not only on a physical basis but just the aurora around them? This is her. I've actually NEVER ASKED HER NAME....which is Ironic because I've wanted to marry this girl from the first moment I saw her.

Today is the day. I will ask of her name. Hopefully I can spit a little bit of game too, maybe pull a number. Gotta take baby steps though...I will build confidence by asking small yes/no questions...
Do you have a name?
Do you like having a name?
Do you believe in planets?


I'll work on it.
I'm going to read the Time.

7:59 - So TEG just left to go get some food. My kind of girl, going to get some McDonald's during her Body Mechanics fitness class. She was with a friend though, hard to spit game with a game-killer directly in my radar. It didn't go well though... something like this:

TEG-"Hey if coach asks if I'm here tell him I went to go get some McDonalds."

ME-"What? Ok." (Even though I don't really know your name...ask her name, it's a perfect opp...)

TEG-"Wait... where are all the PowerAde’s?"(Referring to the empty display)

ME- "I drank them all."
TEG-"What? What a fat ass!"
ME- "Yah, sorry about that."
TEG-"Did you really drink all of them?"
ME-"Yeah. I was thirsty."

Jesus Cristo what is wrong with me.

8:10 - What the fuck are catafalques?

9:31 - Catafalques is the framework that coffins rest on at funerals. Now that our collective minds are at ease, let's get back to my mission of actually growing stones enough to ask out TEG.

About an hour ago I was called in to the Chief of Campus police's office, which I think is equivalent to a peon deputy at a small town precinct. I had to I.D. a suspect in a theft up at work yesterday, and I got her. You can run, but you can't hide bad guys. The Resident is on the job.

This did however screw my plans with TEG. Her class ended before I got back from my crime-solving adventure. I talked to my Nigerian friend Victor Oslov about it, and he told me I needed to make a move. I agree, however I...well I just agree. I have to quit making excuses. I can't let my investigatory instincts lead me away from my priorities. I must get laid. Period.

9:44 - I answer a call from a lady inquiring about prices for memberships. She was the kind of customer that makes my day. Cheery mood, good humor, and qDuick witted. We talked about nothing for approximately 6 minutes and 15 seconds according to the phone timer.
"Like I said I used to be a life-guard... do y'all have any requirements as far as use of the pool goes?"...."You have to be able to swim." - excerpt from above mentioned phone conversation

10:06 - The countdown begins. 54 minutes... 53 now. The workday is winding down. I usually don't have any thought-provoking ideas in-between 10:00 and 11:00. I do notice that around 10:30 I abandon all websites. I tend to actually pace around anxiously awaiting my departure around 10:50 on Tuesdays and Thursdays for I have no classes afterwards.

I do have to go back to Big Cat's for the night though. Apparently when you wake up late for work in someone else's house there are tendencies of forgetting vital things such as cell phones and hats.

10:12 - I'm going to call it a day. I like to think of my work as The Office, and I found that today it helps move the hours along.
 Quoting: SteveWutabi

jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
Abi ~

User ID: 25045778
United States
04/22/2013 09:09 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
My ego is like my penis; It's not gonna stroke itself!

10Green... Engage.
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


You should add that ^^to signature...lol..funny and true..
You accept the love you think you deserve~~~

Love cannot live where there is no trust~~~

Truth has no temperature~~~
24's
User ID: 38714798
United States
04/22/2013 09:10 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
I have a short story: nobody wins.
The end!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36370061
Canada
04/22/2013 09:15 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Where do you work now op?
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 09:18 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Where do you work now op?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36370061


Sales Trainer for a local furniture store. Hopefully I'll transition into writing full-time soon, but I'm still young so I'm just enjoying the ride while paying my dues.
jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 09:18 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
My ego is like my penis; It's not gonna stroke itself!

10Green... Engage.
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


You should add that ^^to signature...lol..funny and true..
 Quoting: Abi ~


Done!
jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
Stealth#521

User ID: 26070632
United States
04/22/2013 09:26 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Pretty good OP. Though I'd wager Victor's hitting that chuckle


Here's my contribution...

The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar.
It was tense.

What? 1dunno1 It's short!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36370061
Canada
04/22/2013 09:28 PM
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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Where do you work now op?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36370061


Sales Trainer for a local furniture store. Hopefully I'll transition into writing full-time soon, but I'm still young so I'm just enjoying the ride while paying my dues.
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


Share some more stuff, please. :)
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 09:29 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Pretty good OP. Though I'd wager Victor's hitting that chuckle


Here's my contribution...

The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar.
It was tense.

What? 1dunno1 It's short!
 Quoting: Stealth#521


Haha I can only hope Victor was smashing that! He was a really interesting guy, a story for another time.
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SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 09:30 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Where do you work now op?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36370061


Sales Trainer for a local furniture store. Hopefully I'll transition into writing full-time soon, but I'm still young so I'm just enjoying the ride while paying my dues.
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


Share some more stuff, please. :)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36370061


Click my user name and look through some of my threads. The Ode To GLP was a pretty big hit!
jchashtag.wix.com/hashtagtheblog
Abi ~

User ID: 25045778
United States
04/22/2013 09:30 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
My ego is like my penis; It's not gonna stroke itself!

10Green... Engage.
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


You should add that ^^to signature...lol..funny and true..
 Quoting: Abi ~


Done!
 Quoting: SteveWutabi


Sweet!!!!! ;) you da man!

rockon
You accept the love you think you deserve~~~

Love cannot live where there is no trust~~~

Truth has no temperature~~~
Abi ~

User ID: 25045778
United States
04/22/2013 09:33 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Pretty good OP. Though I'd wager Victor's hitting that chuckle


Here's my contribution...

The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar.
It was tense.

What? 1dunno1 It's short!
 Quoting: Stealth#521


rimshot
You accept the love you think you deserve~~~

Love cannot live where there is no trust~~~

Truth has no temperature~~~
Msmithspeanut1

User ID: 26675383
United States
04/22/2013 10:25 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
I think you should totally get her name! Come up with a witty way to ask her! Do not let something stupid come out though! Even though I'm married I made a complete ass of myself the first time I spoke to my husband.

hitit
Msmithspeanut1
SteveWutabi (OP)

User ID: 1210803
United States
04/22/2013 10:36 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
I think you should totally get her name! Come up with a witty way to ask her! Do not let something stupid come out though! Even though I'm married I made a complete ass of myself the first time I spoke to my husband.

hitit
 Quoting: Msmithspeanut1


Haha I would! But like I said this is something I wrote year ago in college. All that's left is what could have been and a lesson to seize every opportunity!
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Msmithspeanut1

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04/22/2013 10:37 PM

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Re: Who likes a good Short Story?!?
Oh damn, I missed that! No mutual friends at all?
Msmithspeanut1

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