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JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer

 
Sae Tann
User ID: 28966721
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05/09/2013 01:59 AM
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JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Ever notice that every good doom thread, and I do mean EACH AND EVERY ONE... Is killed off quick by some conservative bible-thumping, Jesus-preaching, gospel-waving GOD-TARD?

Listen up morans, Jesus couldn't save his OWN ass, let alone any of ours! So knock off the "get at peace with God" shit, and let us revel in our doom and misery without citing entire scripture ver batum in every solid doom thread!

We all know where to steal free bibles from (yes, they have em right there in the nightstands in the motels where we take our call girls, drink and play poker all night long) or we can all find our local door-to-door Jehova's Witnesses on Saturday morning.

Either way, STFU!!!!!

/rant
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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05/09/2013 02:07 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Sacrifice Your Thread

:cross:
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


I will NOT REPENT
Astral Goat
From the deep space petting zoo...

User ID: 14380192
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05/09/2013 02:08 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Jesus cried when he read your thread.
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Azeratel Axo

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05/09/2013 02:08 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Ezekiel Chapter 28

1The word of the LORD came again to me, saying,

2“Son of man, say to the leader of Tyre, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Because your heart is lifted up
And you have said, ‘I am a god,
I sit in the seat of gods
In the heart of the seas’;
Yet you are a man and not God,
Although you make your heart like the heart of God—

3Behold, you are wiser than Daniel;
There is no secret that is a match for you.

4“By your wisdom and understanding
You have acquired riches for yourself
And have acquired gold and silver for your treasuries.

5“By your great wisdom, by your trade
You have increased your riches
And your heart is lifted up because of your riches—

6Therefore thus says the Lord GOD,
‘Because you have made your heart
Like the heart of God,

7Therefore, behold, I will bring strangers upon you,
The most ruthless of the nations.
And they will draw their swords
Against the beauty of your wisdom
And defile your splendor.

8‘They will bring you down to the pit,
And you will die the death of those who are slain
In the heart of the seas.

9‘Will you still say, “I am a god,”
In the presence of your slayer,
Though you are a man and not God,
In the hands of those who wound you?

10‘You will die the death of the uncircumcised
By the hand of strangers,
For I have spoken!’ declares the Lord GOD!”’”

11Again the word of the LORD came to me saying,

12“Son of man, take up a lamentation over the king of Tyre and say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“You had the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.

13“You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The ruby, the topaz and the diamond;
The beryl, the onyx and the jasper;
The lapis lazuli, the turquoise and the emerald;
And the gold, the workmanship of your settings and sockets,
Was in you.
On the day that you were created
They were prepared.

14“You were the anointed cherub who covers,
And I placed you there.
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked in the midst of the stones of fire.

15“You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you.

16“By the abundance of your trade
You were internally filled with violence,
And you sinned;
Therefore I have cast you as profane
From the mountain of God.
And I have destroyed you, O covering cherub,
From the midst of the stones of fire.

17“Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;
I put you before kings,
That they may see you.

18“By the multitude of your iniquities,
In the unrighteousness of your trade
You profaned your sanctuaries.
Therefore I have brought fire from the midst of you;
It has consumed you,
And I have turned you to ashes on the earth
In the eyes of all who see you.

19“All who know you among the peoples
Are appalled at you;
You have become terrified
And you will cease to be forever.”’”

Judgment of Sidon

20And the word of the LORD came to me saying,21“Son of man, set your face toward Sidon, prophesy against her

22and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, O Sidon,
And I will be glorified in your midst.
Then they will know that I am the LORD when I execute judgments in her,
And I will manifest My holiness in her.

23“For I will send pestilence to her
And blood to her streets,
And the wounded will fall in her midst
By the sword upon her on every side;
Then they will know that I am the LORD.

24“And there will be no more for the house of Israel a prickling brier or a painful thorn from any round about them who scorned them; then they will know that I am the Lord GOD.”
Ðisembodied~Mind

User ID: 39418151
Colombia
05/09/2013 02:09 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Ezekiel Chapter 28

1The word of the LORD came again to me, saying,

2“Son of man, say to the leader of Tyre, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Because your heart is lifted up
And you have said, ‘I am a god,
I sit in the seat of gods
In the heart of the seas’;
Yet you are a man and not God,
Although you make your heart like the heart of God—

3Behold, you are wiser than Daniel;
There is no secret that is a match for you.

4“By your wisdom and understanding
You have acquired riches for yourself
And have acquired gold and silver for your treasuries.

5“By your great wisdom, by your trade
You have increased your riches
And your heart is lifted up because of your riches—

6Therefore thus says the Lord GOD,
‘Because you have made your heart
Like the heart of God,

7Therefore, behold, I will bring strangers upon you,
The most ruthless of the nations.
And they will draw their swords
Against the beauty of your wisdom
And defile your splendor.

8‘They will bring you down to the pit,
And you will die the death of those who are slain
In the heart of the seas.

9‘Will you still say, “I am a god,”
In the presence of your slayer,
Though you are a man and not God,
In the hands of those who wound you?

10‘You will die the death of the uncircumcised
By the hand of strangers,
For I have spoken!’ declares the Lord GOD!”’”

11Again the word of the LORD came to me saying,

12“Son of man, take up a lamentation over the king of Tyre and say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“You had the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.

13“You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The ruby, the topaz and the diamond;
The beryl, the onyx and the jasper;
The lapis lazuli, the turquoise and the emerald;
And the gold, the workmanship of your settings and sockets,
Was in you.
On the day that you were created
They were prepared.

14“You were the anointed cherub who covers,
And I placed you there.
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked in the midst of the stones of fire.

15“You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you.

16“By the abundance of your trade
You were internally filled with violence,
And you sinned;
Therefore I have cast you as profane
From the mountain of God.
And I have destroyed you, O covering cherub,
From the midst of the stones of fire.

17“Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;
I put you before kings,
That they may see you.

18“By the multitude of your iniquities,
In the unrighteousness of your trade
You profaned your sanctuaries.
Therefore I have brought fire from the midst of you;
It has consumed you,
And I have turned you to ashes on the earth
In the eyes of all who see you.

19“All who know you among the peoples
Are appalled at you;
You have become terrified
And you will cease to be forever.”’”

Judgment of Sidon

20And the word of the LORD came to me saying,21“Son of man, set your face toward Sidon, prophesy against her

22and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, O Sidon,
And I will be glorified in your midst.
Then they will know that I am the LORD when I execute judgments in her,
And I will manifest My holiness in her.

23“For I will send pestilence to her
And blood to her streets,
And the wounded will fall in her midst
By the sword upon her on every side;
Then they will know that I am the LORD.

24“And there will be no more for the house of Israel a prickling brier or a painful thorn from any round about them who scorned them; then they will know that I am the Lord GOD.”

 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


5a
“The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world.”
skydiva

User ID: 39498069
United States
05/09/2013 02:11 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Im so glad for this post. I have noticed it myself.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

We are not human beings on a spiritual journey.
We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28966721
United States
05/09/2013 02:12 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Ezekiel Chapter 28

1The word of the LORD came again to me, saying,

2“Son of man, say to the leader of Tyre, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Because your heart is lifted up
And you have said, ‘I am a god,
I sit in the seat of gods
In the heart of the seas’;
Yet you are a man and not God,
Although you make your heart like the heart of God—

3Behold, you are wiser than Daniel;
There is no secret that is a match for you.

4“By your wisdom and understanding
You have acquired riches for yourself
And have acquired gold and silver for your treasuries.

5“By your great wisdom, by your trade
You have increased your riches
And your heart is lifted up because of your riches—

6Therefore thus says the Lord GOD,
‘Because you have made your heart
Like the heart of God,

7Therefore, behold, I will bring strangers upon you,
The most ruthless of the nations.
And they will draw their swords
Against the beauty of your wisdom
And defile your splendor.

8‘They will bring you down to the pit,
And you will die the death of those who are slain
In the heart of the seas.

9‘Will you still say, “I am a god,”
In the presence of your slayer,
Though you are a man and not God,
In the hands of those who wound you?

10‘You will die the death of the uncircumcised
By the hand of strangers,
For I have spoken!’ declares the Lord GOD!”’”

11Again the word of the LORD came to me saying,

12“Son of man, take up a lamentation over the king of Tyre and say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“You had the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.

13“You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The ruby, the topaz and the diamond;
The beryl, the onyx and the jasper;
The lapis lazuli, the turquoise and the emerald;
And the gold, the workmanship of your settings and sockets,
Was in you.
On the day that you were created
They were prepared.

14“You were the anointed cherub who covers,
And I placed you there.
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked in the midst of the stones of fire.

15“You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you.

16“By the abundance of your trade
You were internally filled with violence,
And you sinned;
Therefore I have cast you as profane
From the mountain of God.
And I have destroyed you, O covering cherub,
From the midst of the stones of fire.

17“Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;
I put you before kings,
That they may see you.

18“By the multitude of your iniquities,
In the unrighteousness of your trade
You profaned your sanctuaries.
Therefore I have brought fire from the midst of you;
It has consumed you,
And I have turned you to ashes on the earth
In the eyes of all who see you.

19“All who know you among the peoples
Are appalled at you;
You have become terrified
And you will cease to be forever.”’”

Judgment of Sidon

20And the word of the LORD came to me saying,21“Son of man, set your face toward Sidon, prophesy against her

22and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, O Sidon,
And I will be glorified in your midst.
Then they will know that I am the LORD when I execute judgments in her,
And I will manifest My holiness in her.

23“For I will send pestilence to her
And blood to her streets,
And the wounded will fall in her midst
By the sword upon her on every side;
Then they will know that I am the LORD.

24“And there will be no more for the house of Israel a prickling brier or a painful thorn from any round about them who scorned them; then they will know that I am the Lord GOD.”

 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


JESUS H. CHRIST!!!!! This is what I mean!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33551299
United States
05/09/2013 02:13 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
:michimp:
Dace
HelpTard

User ID: 986007
United States
05/09/2013 02:13 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
OP just gave Baby Jesus the colic...
"Two days ago I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You wanna get outta here?.....Talk to me."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36467237
United States
05/09/2013 02:15 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Jesus cried when he read your thread.
 Quoting: Astral Goat


+1
Dace
HelpTard

User ID: 986007
United States
05/09/2013 02:20 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Monty Python's Sermon.....from "Life of Brian"

"Two days ago I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You wanna get outta here?.....Talk to me."
Azeratel Axo

User ID: 37789886
Canada
05/09/2013 02:32 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Ezekiel Chapter 28

1The word of the LORD came again to me, saying,

2“Son of man, say to the leader of Tyre, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Because your heart is lifted up
And you have said, ‘I am a god,
I sit in the seat of gods
In the heart of the seas’;
Yet you are a man and not God,
Although you make your heart like the heart of God—

3Behold, you are wiser than Daniel;
There is no secret that is a match for you.

4“By your wisdom and understanding
You have acquired riches for yourself
And have acquired gold and silver for your treasuries.

5“By your great wisdom, by your trade
You have increased your riches
And your heart is lifted up because of your riches—

6Therefore thus says the Lord GOD,
‘Because you have made your heart
Like the heart of God,

7Therefore, behold, I will bring strangers upon you,
The most ruthless of the nations.
And they will draw their swords
Against the beauty of your wisdom
And defile your splendor.

8‘They will bring you down to the pit,
And you will die the death of those who are slain
In the heart of the seas.

9‘Will you still say, “I am a god,”
In the presence of your slayer,
Though you are a man and not God,
In the hands of those who wound you?

10‘You will die the death of the uncircumcised
By the hand of strangers,
For I have spoken!’ declares the Lord GOD!”’”

11Again the word of the LORD came to me saying,

12“Son of man, take up a lamentation over the king of Tyre and say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“You had the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.

13“You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The ruby, the topaz and the diamond;
The beryl, the onyx and the jasper;
The lapis lazuli, the turquoise and the emerald;
And the gold, the workmanship of your settings and sockets,
Was in you.
On the day that you were created
They were prepared.

14“You were the anointed cherub who covers,
And I placed you there.
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked in the midst of the stones of fire.

15“You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you.

16“By the abundance of your trade
You were internally filled with violence,
And you sinned;
Therefore I have cast you as profane
From the mountain of God.
And I have destroyed you, O covering cherub,
From the midst of the stones of fire.

17“Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;
I put you before kings,
That they may see you.

18“By the multitude of your iniquities,
In the unrighteousness of your trade
You profaned your sanctuaries.
Therefore I have brought fire from the midst of you;
It has consumed you,
And I have turned you to ashes on the earth
In the eyes of all who see you.

19“All who know you among the peoples
Are appalled at you;
You have become terrified
And you will cease to be forever.”’”

Judgment of Sidon

20And the word of the LORD came to me saying,21“Son of man, set your face toward Sidon, prophesy against her

22and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, O Sidon,
And I will be glorified in your midst.
Then they will know that I am the LORD when I execute judgments in her,
And I will manifest My holiness in her.

23“For I will send pestilence to her
And blood to her streets,
And the wounded will fall in her midst
By the sword upon her on every side;
Then they will know that I am the LORD.

24“And there will be no more for the house of Israel a prickling brier or a painful thorn from any round about them who scorned them; then they will know that I am the Lord GOD.”

 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


JESUS H. CHRIST!!!!! This is what I mean!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28966721


Ezekiel Chapter 29

Judgment of Egypt


1In the tenth year, in the tenth month, on the twelfth of the month, the word of the LORD came to me saying,2“Son of man, set your face against Pharaoh king of Egypt and prophesy against him and against all Egypt.

3“Speak and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, Pharaoh king of Egypt,
The great monster that lies in the midst of his rivers,
That has said, ‘My Nile is mine, and I myself have made it.’

4“I will put hooks in your jaws
And make the fish of your rivers cling to your scales.
And I will bring you up out of the midst of your rivers,
And all the fish of your rivers will cling to your scales.

5“I will abandon you to the wilderness, you and all the fish of your rivers;
You will fall on the open field; you will not be brought together or gathered.
I have given you for food to the beasts of the earth and to the birds of the sky.

6“Then all the inhabitants of Egypt will know that I am the LORD,
Because they have been only a staff made of reed to the house of Israel.

7“When they took hold of you with the hand,
You broke and tore all their hands;
And when they leaned on you,
You broke and made all their loins quake.”
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26033707
United States
05/09/2013 02:59 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
now op, tell us an allah joke, or at least mohammed.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28966721
United States
05/09/2013 03:21 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
now op, tell us an allah joke, or at least mohammed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26033707


Two Nuns go visit the local Church's rectory to meet with the Pastor of the Parish. After discussing various topics with the Father, one of the nuns takes off her hat, whips her hair back and forth, drops to her knees and promptly performs oral sex on the surprised but happy Priest. Still in shock, the Priest turns to the "good" nun and says "I am not sure what just happened, I usually never come that fast! Usually it takes two choir-boys and a Deacon to get me off!" The "good" nun looks at the Priest puzzled and says "I'm shocked too! I was wondering why Bishop John wanted to dress up like a nun this morning! Turns out he just wanted to eat the body of Christ today instead of Sunday.."
c2thaj

User ID: 28328105
United States
05/09/2013 03:22 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
I'd need to hire some chinamen to count it up but I think there's more jesus than conspiracy theories on this board.

Last Edited by c2thaj on 05/09/2013 03:22 AM
Zephyr2

User ID: 36152821
United States
05/09/2013 03:25 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Ezekiel Chapter 28

1The word of the LORD came again to me, saying,

2“Son of man, say to the leader of Tyre, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Because your heart is lifted up
And you have said, ‘I am a god,
I sit in the seat of gods
In the heart of the seas’;
Yet you are a man and not God,
Although you make your heart like the heart of God—

3Behold, you are wiser than Daniel;
There is no secret that is a match for you.

4“By your wisdom and understanding
You have acquired riches for yourself
And have acquired gold and silver for your treasuries.

5“By your great wisdom, by your trade
You have increased your riches
And your heart is lifted up because of your riches—

6Therefore thus says the Lord GOD,
‘Because you have made your heart
Like the heart of God,

7Therefore, behold, I will bring strangers upon you,
The most ruthless of the nations.
And they will draw their swords
Against the beauty of your wisdom
And defile your splendor.

8‘They will bring you down to the pit,
And you will die the death of those who are slain
In the heart of the seas.

9‘Will you still say, “I am a god,”
In the presence of your slayer,
Though you are a man and not God,
In the hands of those who wound you?

10‘You will die the death of the uncircumcised
By the hand of strangers,
For I have spoken!’ declares the Lord GOD!”’”

11Again the word of the LORD came to me saying,

12“Son of man, take up a lamentation over the king of Tyre and say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“You had the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.

13“You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The ruby, the topaz and the diamond;
The beryl, the onyx and the jasper;
The lapis lazuli, the turquoise and the emerald;
And the gold, the workmanship of your settings and sockets,
Was in you.
On the day that you were created
They were prepared.

14“You were the anointed cherub who covers,
And I placed you there.
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked in the midst of the stones of fire.

15“You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you.

16“By the abundance of your trade
You were internally filled with violence,
And you sinned;
Therefore I have cast you as profane
From the mountain of God.
And I have destroyed you, O covering cherub,
From the midst of the stones of fire.

17“Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;
I put you before kings,
That they may see you.

18“By the multitude of your iniquities,
In the unrighteousness of your trade
You profaned your sanctuaries.
Therefore I have brought fire from the midst of you;
It has consumed you,
And I have turned you to ashes on the earth
In the eyes of all who see you.

19“All who know you among the peoples
Are appalled at you;
You have become terrified
And you will cease to be forever.”’”

Judgment of Sidon

20And the word of the LORD came to me saying,21“Son of man, set your face toward Sidon, prophesy against her

22and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, O Sidon,
And I will be glorified in your midst.
Then they will know that I am the LORD when I execute judgments in her,
And I will manifest My holiness in her.

23“For I will send pestilence to her
And blood to her streets,
And the wounded will fall in her midst
By the sword upon her on every side;
Then they will know that I am the LORD.

24“And there will be no more for the house of Israel a prickling brier or a painful thorn from any round about them who scorned them; then they will know that I am the Lord GOD.”

 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


JESUS H. CHRIST!!!!! This is what I mean!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28966721


Ezekiel Chapter 29

Judgment of Egypt


1In the tenth year, in the tenth month, on the twelfth of the month, the word of the LORD came to me saying,2“Son of man, set your face against Pharaoh king of Egypt and prophesy against him and against all Egypt.

3“Speak and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, Pharaoh king of Egypt,
The great monster that lies in the midst of his rivers,
That has said, ‘My Nile is mine, and I myself have made it.’

4“I will put hooks in your jaws
And make the fish of your rivers cling to your scales.
And I will bring you up out of the midst of your rivers,
And all the fish of your rivers will cling to your scales.

5“I will abandon you to the wilderness, you and all the fish of your rivers;
You will fall on the open field; you will not be brought together or gathered.
I have given you for food to the beasts of the earth and to the birds of the sky.

6“Then all the inhabitants of Egypt will know that I am the LORD,
Because they have been only a staff made of reed to the house of Israel.

7“When they took hold of you with the hand,
You broke and tore all their hands;
And when they leaned on you,
You broke and made all their loins quake.”

 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


HaHa hahahahhahHa!

What?
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
~Calvin & Hobbs~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 718510
United States
05/09/2013 03:26 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Pretty much ANY Jesus freak sticking their nose in unbidden is an ANYTHING killer.

They do it on purpose. They're not allowed to HAVE any fun, so they must ruin everyone else's to make themselves feel better.
Zephyr2

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05/09/2013 03:26 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Ezekiel Chapter 28

1The word of the LORD came again to me, saying,

2“Son of man, say to the leader of Tyre, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Because your heart is lifted up
And you have said, ‘I am a god,
I sit in the seat of gods
In the heart of the seas’;
Yet you are a man and not God,
Although you make your heart like the heart of God—

3Behold, you are wiser than Daniel;
There is no secret that is a match for you.

4“By your wisdom and understanding
You have acquired riches for yourself
And have acquired gold and silver for your treasuries.

5“By your great wisdom, by your trade
You have increased your riches
And your heart is lifted up because of your riches—

6Therefore thus says the Lord GOD,
‘Because you have made your heart
Like the heart of God,

7Therefore, behold, I will bring strangers upon you,
The most ruthless of the nations.
And they will draw their swords
Against the beauty of your wisdom
And defile your splendor.

8‘They will bring you down to the pit,
And you will die the death of those who are slain
In the heart of the seas.

9‘Will you still say, “I am a god,”
In the presence of your slayer,
Though you are a man and not God,
In the hands of those who wound you?

10‘You will die the death of the uncircumcised
By the hand of strangers,
For I have spoken!’ declares the Lord GOD!”’”

11Again the word of the LORD came to me saying,

12“Son of man, take up a lamentation over the king of Tyre and say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“You had the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.

13“You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The ruby, the topaz and the diamond;
The beryl, the onyx and the jasper;
The lapis lazuli, the turquoise and the emerald;
And the gold, the workmanship of your settings and sockets,
Was in you.
On the day that you were created
They were prepared.

14“You were the anointed cherub who covers,
And I placed you there.
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked in the midst of the stones of fire.

15“You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you.

16“By the abundance of your trade
You were internally filled with violence,
And you sinned;
Therefore I have cast you as profane
From the mountain of God.
And I have destroyed you, O covering cherub,
From the midst of the stones of fire.

17“Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;
I put you before kings,
That they may see you.

18“By the multitude of your iniquities,
In the unrighteousness of your trade
You profaned your sanctuaries.
Therefore I have brought fire from the midst of you;
It has consumed you,
And I have turned you to ashes on the earth
In the eyes of all who see you.

19“All who know you among the peoples
Are appalled at you;
You have become terrified
And you will cease to be forever.”’”

Judgment of Sidon

20And the word of the LORD came to me saying,21“Son of man, set your face toward Sidon, prophesy against her

22and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, O Sidon,
And I will be glorified in your midst.
Then they will know that I am the LORD when I execute judgments in her,
And I will manifest My holiness in her.

23“For I will send pestilence to her
And blood to her streets,
And the wounded will fall in her midst
By the sword upon her on every side;
Then they will know that I am the LORD.

24“And there will be no more for the house of Israel a prickling brier or a painful thorn from any round about them who scorned them; then they will know that I am the Lord GOD.”

 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


JESUS H. CHRIST!!!!! This is what I mean!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28966721


Ezekiel Chapter 29

Judgment of Egypt


1In the tenth year, in the tenth month, on the twelfth of the month, the word of the LORD came to me saying,2“Son of man, set your face against Pharaoh king of Egypt and prophesy against him and against all Egypt.

3“Speak and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, Pharaoh king of Egypt,
The great monster that lies in the midst of his rivers,
That has said, ‘My Nile is mine, and I myself have made it.’

4“I will put hooks in your jaws
And make the fish of your rivers cling to your scales.
And I will bring you up out of the midst of your rivers,
And all the fish of your rivers will cling to your scales.

5“I will abandon you to the wilderness, you and all the fish of your rivers;
You will fall on the open field; you will not be brought together or gathered.
I have given you for food to the beasts of the earth and to the birds of the sky.

6“Then all the inhabitants of Egypt will know that I am the LORD,
Because they have been only a staff made of reed to the house of Israel.

7“When they took hold of you with the hand,
You broke and tore all their hands;
And when they leaned on you,
You broke and made all their loins quake.”

 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


HaHa hahahahhahHa!

What?
 Quoting: Zephyr2


Kinda like the "and made all their loins quake" part...that's really the only part that I got.
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
~Calvin & Hobbs~
Doommincus Maximus

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05/09/2013 03:29 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Jesus cried when he read your thread.
 Quoting: Astral Goat


Does he cry with all the death and famine in this world, or just GLP thread titles?
Stand up for what you believe in, even if you stand alone.
Anonymous Coward
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05/09/2013 03:36 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Ezekiel Chapter 28

1The word of the LORD came again to me, saying,

2“Son of man, say to the leader of Tyre, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Because your heart is lifted up
And you have said, ‘I am a god,
I sit in the seat of gods
In the heart of the seas’;
Yet you are a man and not God,
Although you make your heart like the heart of God—

3Behold, you are wiser than Daniel;
There is no secret that is a match for you.

4“By your wisdom and understanding
You have acquired riches for yourself
And have acquired gold and silver for your treasuries.

5“By your great wisdom, by your trade
You have increased your riches
And your heart is lifted up because of your riches—

6Therefore thus says the Lord GOD,
‘Because you have made your heart
Like the heart of God,

7Therefore, behold, I will bring strangers upon you,
The most ruthless of the nations.
And they will draw their swords
Against the beauty of your wisdom
And defile your splendor.

8‘They will bring you down to the pit,
And you will die the death of those who are slain
In the heart of the seas.

9‘Will you still say, “I am a god,”
In the presence of your slayer,
Though you are a man and not God,
In the hands of those who wound you?

10‘You will die the death of the uncircumcised
By the hand of strangers,
For I have spoken!’ declares the Lord GOD!”’”

11Again the word of the LORD came to me saying,

12“Son of man, take up a lamentation over the king of Tyre and say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“You had the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.

13“You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The ruby, the topaz and the diamond;
The beryl, the onyx and the jasper;
The lapis lazuli, the turquoise and the emerald;
And the gold, the workmanship of your settings and sockets,
Was in you.
On the day that you were created
They were prepared.

14“You were the anointed cherub who covers,
And I placed you there.
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked in the midst of the stones of fire.

15“You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you.

16“By the abundance of your trade
You were internally filled with violence,
And you sinned;
Therefore I have cast you as profane
From the mountain of God.
And I have destroyed you, O covering cherub,
From the midst of the stones of fire.

17“Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;
I put you before kings,
That they may see you.

18“By the multitude of your iniquities,
In the unrighteousness of your trade
You profaned your sanctuaries.
Therefore I have brought fire from the midst of you;
It has consumed you,
And I have turned you to ashes on the earth
In the eyes of all who see you.

19“All who know you among the peoples
Are appalled at you;
You have become terrified
And you will cease to be forever.”’”

Judgment of Sidon

20And the word of the LORD came to me saying,21“Son of man, set your face toward Sidon, prophesy against her

22and say, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, I am against you, O Sidon,
And I will be glorified in your midst.
Then they will know that I am the LORD when I execute judgments in her,
And I will manifest My holiness in her.

23“For I will send pestilence to her
And blood to her streets,
And the wounded will fall in her midst
By the sword upon her on every side;
Then they will know that I am the LORD.

24“And there will be no more for the house of Israel a prickling brier or a painful thorn from any round about them who scorned them; then they will know that I am the Lord GOD.”

 Quoting: Azeratel Axo


JESUS H. CHRIST!!!!! This is what I mean!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28966721

you kinda had that coming. but i agree jesus freaks are usually complete narcissists. but in truth that is the core of all religions , everything is an extension of their beliefs and there is no room for anyone else's.
elante elante elante is here
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05/09/2013 03:54 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
and here's my kiss of death: bye thread
K.Kool

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05/09/2013 05:03 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Jesus rose from the dead.

He killed off more than a thread, he killed death.
heartstalker@blogger
El_Duderino

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05/09/2013 05:09 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Jesus rose from the dead.

He killed off more than a thread, he killed death.
 Quoting: K.Kool


Jesusfucks
Luckily I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regiment to keep my mind limber.
:Dudeism:
Anonymous Coward
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05/09/2013 05:11 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
SOMEONE PIN THIS, 5 STARS YOU GO OP!!
K.Kool

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05/09/2013 05:12 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
Nailing him to the cross was worse.
heartstalker@blogger
el ante
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05/09/2013 05:16 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
SOMEONE PIN THIS, 5 STARS YOU GO OP!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39546737


Fuck I didn't end the thread, I'm the false prophet noooooooo

Lol
Anonymous Coward
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05/09/2013 05:17 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
I'm pretty sure Jesus was Bi and took it up the ass... and gave it.
K.Kool

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05/09/2013 05:23 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
He could also kill you, if he wanted.
heartstalker@blogger
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05/09/2013 05:26 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
He could also kill you, if he wanted.
 Quoting: K.Kool

Sooo, logically, this guy should be dead by tomorrow

I'm pretty sure Jesus was Bi and took it up the ass... and gave it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30415655
K.Kool

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05/09/2013 05:27 AM

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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
He could also kill you, if he wanted.
 Quoting: K.Kool

Sooo, logically, this guy should be dead by tomorrow

I'm pretty sure Jesus was Bi and took it up the ass... and gave it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30415655

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39551310



Not Jesus logically.
heartstalker@blogger
Anonymous Coward
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05/09/2013 05:29 AM
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Re: JESUS: The Ultimate Thread-Killer
He could also kill you, if he wanted.
 Quoting: K.Kool

Sooo, logically, this guy should be dead by tomorrow

I'm pretty sure Jesus was Bi and took it up the ass... and gave it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30415655

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39551310



Not Jesus logically.
 Quoting: K.Kool


eh, tomatoe tomato

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