WTF? My wife just told me if I don't jerk off into her lucky charms every morning she is divorcing me.

i wake up real early for work. shouldn't be a problem. unless they wake up before my wife and are hungry...

well, she did the kimkins diet for about 3 years...

FINE I QUIT IM NOT JERKING OFF IN GMO CEREAL ANYWAYZ I JERK OFF O NATURAL CEREAL

OK well i keep seeing people post that tthis is not real. FUCK YOU. My problems are not a joke and not to be pushed aside so easily.

I am sorry there are different people out there then you are used to in your stepford lives but here in the real world people have to deal with real problems. Especially people who have been married for longer than 10 years, these things happen.

you try marriage, it ain't easy.

huh..... well i guess telling her you think she is perfect just the way she is probably wont deter her then.

This site has gone full retard

I am loving this thread though!

If this was a real diet lets see a link to the nutritional benefits of semen.

she gained weight after having the kids and wanted to "look sexy for me again". that diet didn't do anything besides stink up our bathroom and stain the toilet bow a light brown.

she FINALLY gave up after she realized "kimmer" was a fraud and the after photos were photos she got from a russian dating site.

Now this one my wife says is not the same because this is actually healthy because "semen is the perfect food"...

[link to www.yourtango.com]

10 Surprising Health Benefits Of Semen

Here are ten alleged health benefits of seminal plasma:

1. Natural anti-depressant.
2. Natural anxiety reducer.
3. Improves quality of sleep.
4. Increases energy.
5. Improves concentration.
6. Improves memory.
7. Improves mental alertness.
8. Assists with pregnancy maintenance.
9. Increases female-initiated sexual behavior.
10. Reduces pain.

Why the hell doesn't she just blow you? Tell her you'll dirty up her lucky charms if she sucks you off before bedtime.

I don't know what you can do, but your wife has issues.

Or perhaps she is just the average Westernized woman...

full retard

[link to www.bigsextoys.com]


there ya go OP fake it till ya make it

I like it. Your post I mean

Last Edited by Nick Nailher (Eissak) on 05/16/2013 12:14 AM

GOOD QUESTION! This would be best for every one. I would be able to wake up to a bj everyday, and she would get her nutrition.

But she refuses to do it.

1) she says she has a bad jaw and it hurts and the dentist tries cracking it back into place for her.

2) she said she can't wake up that early.

3) it would be too tedious to do everday.

4) she is pregnant and she shouldn't have to do things she doesn't want.

But I think I am going to stand firm on this.

If she wants my semen she will have to get her fat ass up every morning and blow her husband just like every other woman who wants semen for breakfast has to do.

I don't get why she thinks SHE is so SPECIAL.

ok i got an idea. tell her you will agree to help her with that diet if she first agrees to try a diet you pick that you think may work. if the diet or plan you pick dosnt help then go along with her plan.

wow, this is absolutely genius and may save my marriage.

thank you AC, thank you. I don't know why i didn't think of this.

Now if she catches wind of this and shows it to her doctor i may be fucked...

ok she's worried about her health yet she eats lucky charms?

whats wrong with it? you get a full serving of whole grains.

there are cum cook books on amazon op

Dude!If you don't do it,she's going to go get her cum elsewhere.

She should have wised up three kids ago

why don't you just jerk off into her mouth.. she doesn't have to blow you and you don't have to fantasize about a leprechaun.

If you do it,

It will start there, in the lucky charms, then the apple jacks, no pun.
But then she'll demand it in McDonalds or Denny's and will tell the waiter to hold the salad dressing.
Of course that will open up to demands to do it in the popcorn and Bon bons in the theater. But wait, she won't stop there, it will be in real time at the grocery store, or while even in line. Always blames the milk, because she loves it with milk. But no, no, no, no, no, it's not enough, you'll have to give in during transit to and from, and get this, even between getting pulled over and the cop knocking on your drivers side window.
You then notice that you're nothing but a jerk off whore, for her.
Just like some jizz vending machine.
Yeah, push your selection and dispense...
Your done, it starts with the lucky charms and moves rapidly up the chain, to concert seating, on the jet ski, in your mother in laws kitchen, owes even in her special k flakes or shredded wheat biscuits.
Dude, it's over for you.
Go build a tree house, grab your bong and hide out up there, or you'll be turning Japanese real soon.





[link to www.youtube.com]

I'll create some freshly squeezed for your wife directly into her mouth. It'll be like Bob Evans.

To hell with that, make her at least give you a hand job. Tell her if she wants butter in the morning, she's gotta churn it. Amish gotta go the shit everyday and you don't hear them complaining. Though that could be cause they're in the middle of buttfuck nowhere but you naddimean?

If my wife never had sex with me I would jerk off into her Lucky Charms out of spite.