Stepped on cats head by mistake

did you try CPR???

Just stay on the computer, if your wife asks what happened to the cat, tell her you don't know. Tell her you've been online and show her your history to prove it. Get really defensive and don't even ask what's wrong with the cat, act like nothing happened.

make a casserole?

quickly build one of those mad scientist frankenstein machines, and bring it back to life with a bolt of lightning??

or look up zombie recipes on the internet!! turn the cat into a zombie!!!11

Sorry for your loss. Just hide it and say it ran away.

It was an accident, tell her what happened.

Throw it into a road sign doing 65.....

holy moly you are one fat fuck

Step on the cat's head!

Draw a pentagram around it with salt, then light some candles around it.

When she comes home pretend like you don't know what she's talking about.

Deny that you ever owned a cat at all.

Omg that's so sad.



You have to tell her the truth.

Hide on the side of your house with the body, after she pulls into the driveway place the body, headfirst behind whichever tire is most convenient. Then hide.

If she sees you, just act like you were taking out the garbage or something, in fact just take the trash out with you to avoid any suspicion.

1. Lose some weight. Seriously.


2. Be honest. ZOMG!? WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF DOING THAT.

Tell her you will pay for an engraved, gold-plated Urn. And you better be crying.....

Considering your weight and clumsiness I'm sure she is used to dealing with disappointment. May as well tell her.

Fuck you I'm not a troll, asshole! You mind explaining your dumbass reaction to my comment asswipe?

You know, this terrible incident is the perfect opportunity to make an amusing YouTube reaction..

Duct tape...


Fixes eveything

1. Put that cat on your computer chair.

2. Dab generously with superglue.

3. Sit on cat, surf GLP.

4. When she gets home, just pretend like you don't know there is a squashed dead cat stuck to your ass.

5. Feign horror and shock when she notices.

OP......this book should come in handy now.

[link to www.amazon.com]

whats your cats Name.

Watch where you step fat fuck!

Reminds me of the cat scene from boondocks saints.

What happens when he show her his history, and right smack in the middle of it is a thread called "Stepped on cats head by mistake" lol?

Step away from the fridge you fat bastard

Hire Ashton Kutcher to hang around your house. When she notices the dead cat, Ashton Kutcher has to jump out with a camera team and yell out "YOU DONE GOT PUNKED BITCH!!!!" then get Ashton to give her an identical cat so she thinks it was all just a ruse by loveable teevee star Asthon Kutcher. Also, Ashton Kutcher.

Knowing GLP I have to put this qualifier; If this is for real...

If it is then tell your wife what happened. She deserves that. You're better than a liar. She will be mad and she will probably yell at you every time she thinks about it. Just get through that as best you can. Just remind her that you're sorry and you feel terrible.

That was a terrible mistake. I'm so sorry...
I wish you well...it's going to be tough.

And just a thought...probably don't put painful stuff on a board like this. It attracts flies.

Last Edited by Design on 05/16/2013 08:20 PM

I agree, op it was an accident and shit happens.