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Poster Handle Shez
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All you need are two plastic cups, a large needle and twenty or thirty millions miles of string.

Here's how to do it...piece both cups through the bottoms, thread string through both holes, knot both of them (doubles or triple knots...just to be sure) keep hold of one cup tightly then get a mate to throw one cup in the air as hard as he can :) reach for the moon and you'll land amongst the stars...aim high
 Quoting: Shez 41018911

How to Leave the Planet

1. Phone NASA (tel. 0101 713 483 0123). Explain that it's very important that you get away as quickly as possible.
2. If they don't cooperate, then try to get someone at the White House (tel. 0101 202 456 1414) to bring some pressure to bear on them.
3. If you don't get any joy out of them, phone the Kremlin (tel. 0107 095 295 9051) and ask them to bring a little pressure to bear on the White House on your behalf.
4. If that too fails, phone the Pope for guidance (tel. 010 396 6982).
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important that you get away before your phone bill arrives.
 Quoting: HGTTG

I'm assuming you've already attempted 1-4?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10738171

A good way is to use google earth to look at your location from above, zoom in and out, memorize, then do some deep breathing, get in to a relaxed state, with every out breath, relax a part of the body starting at the feet, by the time you get to the head you should be relaxed in to your self, now focus on the zooming in and out that you memorized of your location, this will give your location to anyone up above that might be happy to let you see them, it is something that will start slow and build as long as you don't freak out, maybe first time will be like a moving star, then slowly more frequent, more cool maneuvers, closer etc.

Took me about 3 weeks of doing that nightly always looking up, always calling, then bang they came, now they come all the time, if I call, have done with many witnesses, they never landed but have projected self down to my house a few times, came over my back garden during a gathering of friends once also after I was showing off saying I could call them, freaked a few out.
 Quoting: acuk 40917659

Those aren't aliens. They are demons.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41075633

laugh Thank you for these responses! I needed this laugh today! LOL I love GLP!
 Quoting: Listen_n


Yep. DMT. Either smoke the freebase or eat a 5g+ of shrooms.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 40882500

If you don't make contract, go and pretend you did than start probing yourself
 Quoting: Dr.Smith

That proper cracked me up
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