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My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36674180
United States
06/21/2013 11:02 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Cause that's what's happening.

I really don't care what you think, and I'm not just fishing for sympathy.

Death Don't Have no Mercy.


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34982889


It comes on waves... Grief.
I feel for ya man. Much love to you!!!!
i'sopen

User ID: 40308534
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06/21/2013 11:06 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
I hope I am blessed to have such a great life with my wife. Im very sorry for your loss. You are a good man Sir.

Enjoy your life and I know she is there with you. Just because she isn't in the flesh, she will always remain with you until you are one agin.

God bless.
i'sopen
Desert Fox

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06/21/2013 11:07 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
The ones who don't, are the ones to feel sorry for OP.
:TOMABANEFOX:
It's more humane this way ya know, or burn on totem pole. Choice is yours.
Anonymous Coward
06/21/2013 11:07 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Well fuck, man, of course it's okay.



Worlds exists within tears.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 34982889
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06/21/2013 11:09 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
OP, it's more than justified to cry for and mourn the loved ones. However, I would like you to look at it from the bright side as well. You met a wonderful person in your life and you shared precious time together, filled with cheer and joy. Since you will always remember her, she will always be there with you.

It seems that you loved her so much, this I would assume that you went through wonderful experiences with her. I am not telling you to live on the memories, but if you remember the positive stuff that you went through and think about how it can feed your thoughts in a positive way, I am pretty sure than you will be able to move on with your life. Think about that nice walk in the park, or that road trip you did together. Think about the nice moments you had, instead of the pain that you feel.

Last but not least, if you go through the healing process with friends and relatives that are there to support you in your hardest moments, you will realize that you still are loved and wanted and have other things to live for.

I am not saying that it is easy, but positive thinking and being near loved ones is essential to go through this process of self-healing.
 Quoting: zmaj13


Thanks, lots of truth in what you say, I have many good memories of our times together. Even memories of bad times have value.

I keep thinking that if I could dream of her, I could at least hear her voice, see her smile. It would be better than nothing. I've only dreamed of her once or twice, and I can't recall the details.

I do have good friends and family, but their sympathy is not what I need, it does nothing for me. I've thought of suicide, because some days are just empty and meaningless, but I've got grandsons who need me, and they keep me from doing anything drastic.
Anonymous Coward
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06/21/2013 11:12 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
hugs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42041786
Germany
06/21/2013 11:14 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
My wife, of 34 years, died 3 years ago and it is still hard to take. Only thing that helps is to stay busy so I don't think about it too much. But yes I cried for the first year or 2, it is only human.


.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42064663


Condolences. That sounds lame, but I mean it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34982889


actually if i died i would wnt my partner not to suffer but carry on living and giving his love to someone who also deserves it.
grow some balls, find someone new, build a new life.
what is past, is past, we cant change that so it would be a mistake to waste lifetime.
Anonymous Coward
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06/21/2013 11:15 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
My wife, of 34 years, died 3 years ago and it is still hard to take. Only thing that helps is to stay busy so I don't think about it too much. But yes I cried for the first year or 2, it is only human.


.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42064663


Condolences. That sounds lame, but I mean it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34982889

Thank you and my condolences go out to you also.

One thing I did that you may or may not do is to second guess yourself. Like I would think back about things and find myself thinking..."if only I had done this or done that".

I finally got my head screwed on right and understood that I could not go back and change the past and I was only torturing myself thinking about those kind of things.


.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/21/2013 11:17 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
It's ok, dude
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 34982889
United States
06/21/2013 11:23 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Well fuck, man, of course it's okay.

 Quoting: Mister Obvious


LOL, you have such a way with words MO.
January Wolves

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06/21/2013 11:50 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
So sorry for your loss, OP.

Crying is a great release when you miss the one you love but there is also something else that has helped me when I have rough days missing my husband.

I write him letters with news of my current life and about the kids. Or sometimes I write about memories of things that we did together. I then find myself laughing at some memories of funny things that happened to us and swear I even hear him laughing also. I always start out crying when I start to write but often somewhere in the letter I will find myself smiling or laughing. Just wanted to share that idea. Maybe it will help you also.
Anonymous Coward
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06/21/2013 11:52 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Absolutely. Life hurts man. Crying means you are alive.
Anonymous Coward
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06/21/2013 11:52 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
The ones who don't, are the ones to feel sorry for OP.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


That's the truth!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42087726
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06/21/2013 11:55 PM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Wow, not one asshole response in 2 pages. There is still hope for the human race.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18097125
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06/22/2013 12:02 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Yes, but life is about living in the present. She loves you still, but life is for the living. You will be reunited one day.
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2013 12:04 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
I'm so sorry OP! It's totally normal (and healthy) to cry. There's no limit on how long you can cry either. You obviously loved her very, very much. My dad died seven years ago, and I still cry. I think I always will. hf
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2013 12:06 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Better to lose someone you love through death than divorce.

When they die..it kills..but you parted whilst IN love..and its bitter sweet..

If you are divorced..all the good memories are shat on..and the hate never ends...women just dont know how to NOT hate.

You are fortunate in a way...you lost yours while love lived.

Losing one after loves dies..is a grief that never ends..because she never stops hating you with the same passion she used to make love to you with.
Southern OR

User ID: 20471008
United States
06/22/2013 12:09 AM

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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
There is no time limit on grief. I can't imagine losing my husband (25 years). Do you feel it is negatively affecting your life? If so, find a grief group for people that have lost a spouse. No one else really knows what you are feeling. I wish you the best. hf
"Well-behaved women seldom make history." —Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. ~Edward Everett Hale
arceus

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06/22/2013 12:13 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Yes, and no.

Please do
"For they endure everything and bear up under everything, that they may finish the good fight and inherit eternal life."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 34982889
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06/22/2013 12:17 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
So sorry for your loss, OP.

Crying is a great release when you miss the one you love but there is also something else that has helped me when I have rough days missing my husband.

I write him letters with news of my current life and about the kids. Or sometimes I write about memories of things that we did together. I then find myself laughing at some memories of funny things that happened to us and swear I even hear him laughing also. I always start out crying when I start to write but often somewhere in the letter I will find myself smiling or laughing. Just wanted to share that idea. Maybe it will help you also.
 Quoting: January Wolves


Thank you, that's a nice idea, I'll remember that.
Tethered Soul

User ID: 41928774
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06/22/2013 12:17 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Hang in there OP. Prayers and thoughts are with you! Let the tears flow brother.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 34982889
United States
06/22/2013 12:18 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Wow, not one asshole response in 2 pages. There is still hope for the human race.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42087726


Indeed. I didn't expect this, and I'm touched.

I'm also drunk, and I think I've stopped crying for awhile.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/22/2013 12:22 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
My wife, of 34 years, died 3 years ago and it is still hard to take. Only thing that helps is to stay busy so I don't think about it too much. But yes I cried for the first year or 2, it is only human.


.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42064663


Condolences. That sounds lame, but I mean it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34982889


actually if i died i would wnt my partner not to suffer but carry on living and giving his love to someone who also deserves it.
grow some balls, find someone new, build a new life.
what is past, is past, we cant change that so it would be a mistake to waste lifetime.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42041786


Boy, you should go into motivational speaking, not!


I know its A bit cliche' but "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

I share in your pain and wish you the best.
daughter in NYC
User ID: 41834336
United States
06/22/2013 12:32 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
May God Bless you, OP

Your tears are precious because you love...

Jesus is the lifter of your head....lean on Himhf

Prayers going up for you friend
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2013 01:09 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
It's been two years since my wife died and I cry a lot. God bless you.
A/C
User ID: 29153418
United States
06/22/2013 01:12 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
I lost my wife 26 years ago when she just turned 40. It took a year before I cried. When you love someone it is good I think to try and remember all the good times. She was the love of my life and I try to not think of her death but all the good times we had. Ten years later I remarried and my new wife is great. You don't forget but you learn that life goes on and we all have our time to go. Feel grateful for the good times you had together. When it is over you have to move on but that does not mean you don't keep those happy memories. Death is part of life and we all get our turn.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 34982889
United States
06/22/2013 01:14 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
I lost my wife 26 years ago when she just turned 40. It took a year before I cried. When you love someone it is good I think to try and remember all the good times. She was the love of my life and I try to not think of her death but all the good times we had. Ten years later I remarried and my new wife is great. You don't forget but you learn that life goes on and we all have our time to go. Feel grateful for the good times you had together. When it is over you have to move on but that does not mean you don't keep those happy memories. Death is part of life and we all get our turn.
 Quoting: A/C 29153418


Whoa, I'm glad it's working out for you, I hope I'm as lucky. Thanks.
Tangy

User ID: 33861925
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06/22/2013 01:17 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Cause that's what's happening.

I really don't care what you think, and I'm not just fishing for sympathy.

Death Don't Have no Mercy.


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34982889


aww Joe, I'm so sorry to hear. I just realized this was you.

Hugs sweetie

hf
mopar28m

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06/22/2013 01:40 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
Khug
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mj-13
User ID: 860177
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06/22/2013 02:04 AM
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Re: My wife died one year ago today, is it OK if I cry a lot?
My condolences to you. I am very sorry. It doesn't matter if it was one day ago or thirty years from now. If you feel the need to cry then you should. It is totally justifiable. My blessings to you. hf





GLP