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Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30938598
United States
06/30/2013 12:05 AM
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Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Boy I hope I wake up soon and this is a bad dream.
Attention all Texan males,particularly adolescents, You are all now felons! Punishable by serving two years in jail. Just the place to be rehabilitated from your evil ways.
Also imagine having to take a lie detector test to get welfare or even a state job. You could be subject to penalties for lying as well as masturbating. Only some really screwed up religious psycho could pass such a test.
Perhaps that the point...

[link to tribuneherald.net]
No More Lies

User ID: 1707881
United States
06/30/2013 12:08 AM

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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
satire bro...but in this crazy country it could be fact before too long
Thanks to whomever upgraded my account!
:nml:
Irreversible-day

User ID: 1267719
United States
06/30/2013 12:10 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
what a bunch of numb nuts.
They are destroying Texas ... my penis and sperm is my own.

lmfao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30474188
United States
06/30/2013 12:13 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
we could stop that horrible problem with mass surgery
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42498009
United States
06/30/2013 12:13 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Would be nice if you knew how to spell masturbation.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 30938598
United States
06/30/2013 12:30 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Would be nice if you knew how to spell masturbation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42498009


It would. I've become a mental cripple because of spell check...
Conjure Woman

User ID: 33382770
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06/30/2013 12:30 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Try to enforce THAT!

chuckle
Bad Dog Fly On. No Fear.

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35123776
Australia
06/30/2013 12:36 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Boy I hope I wake up soon and this is a bad dream.
Attention all Texan males,particularly adolescents, You are all now felons! Punishable by serving two years in jail. Just the place to be rehabilitated from your evil ways.
Also imagine having to take a lie detector test to get welfare or even a state job. You could be subject to penalties for lying as well as masturbating. Only some really screwed up religious psycho could pass such a test.
Perhaps that the point...

[link to tribuneherald.net]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30938598


I can see it now..just about every christian and Pastor in texas will be either unemployed or in jail..on MULTIPLE counts.
fooz

User ID: 22543925
United States
06/30/2013 12:37 AM

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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
bsflag
Defender of sound logic.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19004483
United States
06/30/2013 12:39 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Try to enforce THAT!

chuckle
 Quoting: Conjure Woman


There are ways.

Soon, with the all seeing eye in every house, it will be impossible to escape its view.
sadhuman

User ID: 42561119
06/30/2013 12:39 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
If it's not BS, we're so near the end. Insane.

another do
"All people are my people"
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 30938598
United States
06/30/2013 12:41 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
satire bro...but in this crazy country it could be fact before too long
 Quoting: No More Lies


Not long ago it would have been obvious. Or perhaps I have just been drinking way too much of the cool aid.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19004483
United States
06/30/2013 12:42 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
satire bro...but in this crazy country it could be fact before too long
 Quoting: No More Lies


Not long ago it would have been obvious. Or perhaps I have just been drinking way too much of the cool aid.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30938598


Most of you are drunk on the cool aid and dont even know it, yet.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30474188
United States
06/30/2013 12:44 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Don't mess in Texas!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42498009
United States
06/30/2013 12:44 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Would be nice if you knew how to spell masturbation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42498009


It would. I've become a mental cripple because of spell check...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30938598
Makes sense.
Mr. Reality

User ID: 1350479
United States
06/30/2013 12:44 AM

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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Somebody wants to try to stop me from doin it??? They better bring an umbrella. lol
“When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.”

-- Thomas Jefferson

"My 2nd Amendment will Die with Me"

-- iwinallday
Nikola Tesla

User ID: 32247584
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06/30/2013 12:51 AM

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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Boy I hope I wake up soon and this is a bad dream.
Attention all Texan males,particularly adolescents, You are all now felons! Punishable by serving two years in jail. Just the place to be rehabilitated from your evil ways.
Also imagine having to take a lie detector test to get welfare or even a state job. You could be subject to penalties for lying as well as masturbating. Only some really screwed up religious psycho could pass such a test.
Perhaps that the point...

[link to tribuneherald.net]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30938598


What a bunch of jack offs.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30474188
United States
06/30/2013 12:51 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
now we know what the guillotines are for!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35123776
Australia
06/30/2013 12:53 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
now we know what the guillotines are for!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30474188


Yeah...everything IS bigger in texas...

Make ya wonder..

jerkit

ttb
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42268579
United States
06/30/2013 12:55 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Texas reminds me of the Vatican
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36695532
United States
06/30/2013 12:57 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
How would you like to be a cop on that beat? Of meat?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30474188
United States
06/30/2013 12:59 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
wendy davis filibustered againat that bill but slipped on a large pool of some unidentified liquid. Just weird!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42095518
United States
06/30/2013 01:00 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Try to enforce THAT!

chuckle
 Quoting: Conjure Woman


It's only a problem on the Texas Senate and House of Representatives floor.

Most people won't notice the law.

lolsign
ChipModerator
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06/30/2013 01:00 AM

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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
No victim...no crime.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Elsabiades..
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06/30/2013 01:04 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
What is not satirical, however, is the FACT that TEXAS prosecutes DEBTORS. Indeed. ANd you thought that DEBTOR PRISONS did not exist (since 1820)? Alas, it's called a "TURN OVER" ORDER. If you are sued and cannot pay the rent or damages; a judge enters a "turn over" ORDER. Meaning, that you "turn over" the money within 30 DAYS or suffer a contempt...up to 18 months in JAIL. I had one ... ah..."friend" who served 36 months. (2 orders.) TEXAS CARES NOT for the CONSTITUTION; federal or state.
Philip
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Australia
06/30/2013 01:11 AM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
lol. well it is disgusting.
JS
User ID: 42321033
United Kingdom
06/30/2013 03:07 PM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
Unbelievable!

stoner
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 41977132
United States
06/30/2013 03:10 PM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
what a bunch of numb nuts.
They are destroying Texas ... my penis and sperm is my own.

lmfao
 Quoting: Irreversible-day


Not when you ive it away bitch.
eekers
GLP Tard

User ID: 38137469
United States
06/30/2013 03:20 PM

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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
No victim...no crime.
 Quoting: Chip


But how about all those millions of sperm, just destroyed like that?!?!
(just kidding)
hf

crazy law though, how are they going to try and regulate that?
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23348308
06/30/2013 03:25 PM
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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
No victim...no crime.
 Quoting: Chip


But how about all those millions of sperm, just destroyed like that?!?!
(just kidding)
hf

crazy law though, how are they going to try and regulate that?
 Quoting: eekers


They won't because it's not real. Get it. It's a fake story... Stop being so gullible.
eekers
GLP Tard

User ID: 38137469
United States
06/30/2013 03:26 PM

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Re: Crazy Alert! Texas pass anti masterbation bill...
No victim...no crime.
 Quoting: Chip


But how about all those millions of sperm, just destroyed like that?!?!
(just kidding)
hf

crazy law though, how are they going to try and regulate that?
 Quoting: eekers


They won't because it's not real. Get it. It's a fake story... Stop being so gullible.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23348308


yeah and my comment was totally 100% serious, right?
ohyeah
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot

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