Justin Bieber's Monkey Adjusts to New Life in Germany

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Mally has moved into a zoo called Serengeti Park (Justin would have called it the 'Geti), and will be living with six other Capuchin monkeys for the rest of his natural life (he will probably die young due to the excesses of his early life).

But what of Mally? Is this truly the end of our saga, a happy monkey on an island surrounded by other monkeys, peaceably enjoying their remaining days? Or is that island, that "Mally-bu," not just an island, but a mount? A place for Mally to explain the evils of the humans — the rejection, the pain, the dismissal that they deal to the primates of this planet? Why not rise up and take their planet back?

ME: YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! OH, DAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Gigantic, destroyed Bieber statue lies in pieces along the beach.

— End —

[link to gawker.com]