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My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37356622
United States
07/25/2013 09:51 PM
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My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
My wife went on vacation to visit some of her girlfriends back where she grew up. She left 2 weeks ago and will be returning this weekend. I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom, doing all the laundry (even the clothes left in the back of the laundry room). When she gets back I want to show her how much I love her and missed her. I was thinking about getting her some flowers and a card. I also want to show her some "special attention" that night fulfilling her needs (she loves oral). So I was wondering what else I should do for her to WOW her. Doesn't need to be sexual just something to show her I care and love her more than she knows. Please help me folks
Korats01

User ID: 42054506
Canada
07/25/2013 09:53 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Greet her proprely, be genuine. That will suffice.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 37356622
United States
07/25/2013 09:54 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Greet her proprely, be genuine. That will suffice.
 Quoting: Korats01


If I do that, she says I'm acting, but not real. I need to do something that will blow her mind.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 43954859
Australia
07/25/2013 09:54 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
1. TELL ALL THE HOOKERS TO GO HOME!!!

2. HIDE THE BLACK JACK TABLE!!!1

3. TAKE THE EMPTY BOOZE BOTTLES TO THE DUMP, DON'T LEAVE THEM IN THE HOUSEHOLD GARBAGE BIN!!!!11
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35233389
United States
07/25/2013 09:54 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
aww how cute

buy her a new car
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 37356622
United States
07/25/2013 09:55 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
aww how cute

buy her a new car
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35233389


I'm broke as of now...no money. :(
90Rocky

User ID: 8027390
United States
07/25/2013 09:55 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Make sure the GF didn't leave anything there.
Juggalo

User ID: 1072087
United States
07/25/2013 09:55 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
My wife went on vacation to visit some of her girlfriends back where she grew up. She left 2 weeks ago and will be returning this weekend. I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom, doing all the laundry (even the clothes left in the back of the laundry room). When she gets back I want to show her how much I love her and missed her. I was thinking about getting her some flowers and a card. I also want to show her some "special attention" that night fulfilling her needs (she loves oral). So I was wondering what else I should do for her to WOW her. Doesn't need to be sexual just something to show her I care and love her more than she knows. Please help me folks
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


OP,

You sound like a beta-male and it looks like your wife went back home for some ALPHA-MALE.

just my .02 cents

One Tequila!
Two Tequila!
Three Tequila, ...... Floor!
RantProne
Who's playing that fiddle??

User ID: 1044117
United States
07/25/2013 09:57 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Clear your Browsing History?
There are spiders here. It's their Web, after all.
~~~~~~~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35551657
United States
07/25/2013 09:57 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
1) Ask her how many guys she fucked during her vacation
2) Tell her you're tired of being Mr. Mom and get her ass in the kitchen to make you a sammich
3) Pop Anal Invaders 7 in the DVD player and show her how much you love her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3123453
United States
07/25/2013 09:58 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Buy her a sexy nighty gown
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42922674
United States
07/25/2013 09:58 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
OP, tell your boyfriend to leave.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 37356622
United States
07/25/2013 09:59 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
My wife went on vacation to visit some of her girlfriends back where she grew up. She left 2 weeks ago and will be returning this weekend. I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom, doing all the laundry (even the clothes left in the back of the laundry room). When she gets back I want to show her how much I love her and missed her. I was thinking about getting her some flowers and a card. I also want to show her some "special attention" that night fulfilling her needs (she loves oral). So I was wondering what else I should do for her to WOW her. Doesn't need to be sexual just something to show her I care and love her more than she knows. Please help me folks
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


OP,

You sound like a beta-male and it looks like your wife went back home for some ALPHA-MALE.

just my .02 cents

 Quoting: Juggalo



No she is honest about it and doesn't cheat on me. She calls me everyday on my phone and expects me to talk for several hours..I fucking hate talking over the cellphone .
Korats01

User ID: 42054506
Canada
07/25/2013 10:00 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Greet her proprely, be genuine. That will suffice.
 Quoting: Korats01


If I do that, she says I'm acting, but not real. I need to do something that will blow her mind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


So you are telling me you need to lie to her to impress her bc if you are real for her, she think you are lying.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 37356622
United States
07/25/2013 10:02 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Greet her proprely, be genuine. That will suffice.
 Quoting: Korats01


If I do that, she says I'm acting, but not real. I need to do something that will blow her mind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


So you are telling me you need to lie to her to impress her bc if you are real for her, she think you are lying.
 Quoting: Korats01


Yes, no matter how much I try to show her true love, she always says I fake it.
Psi Guy
BREAKING OMG WTF BBQ !!!

User ID: 26915826
United States
07/25/2013 10:05 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
HIDE THE BODIES!!!
The road to freedom lies not through mysteries or occult performances, but through the intelligent use of natural forces and laws.
CigarTigher
CigarTigher

User ID: 44046277
Kuwait
07/25/2013 10:08 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
You should be like this :

verysad I miss my wifey
Wife walks though the door and you give her a hug.wakeup
Alright , let's get down to business .scheming
Your wife responds with a ohyeah
And then...eyebat

After that its spank that butt
And sideways bananasex

Then have a dasbier with your wife!!

Good luck OP!
CigarTigher
CigarTigher
CigarTigher

User ID: 44046277
Kuwait
07/25/2013 10:09 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
You should also buy her flowers too. Flowers are awesome!
CigarTigher
Useless Cookie Eater

User ID: 29696048
United States
07/25/2013 10:10 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
My wife went on vacation to visit some of her girlfriends back where she grew up. She left 2 weeks ago and will be returning this weekend. I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom, doing all the laundry (even the clothes left in the back of the laundry room). When she gets back I want to show her how much I love her and missed her. I was thinking about getting her some flowers and a card. I also want to show her some "special attention" that night fulfilling her needs (she loves oral). So I was wondering what else I should do for her to WOW her. Doesn't need to be sexual just something to show her I care and love her more than she knows. Please help me folks
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


You banged the neighbor's daughter didn't you? cruise

Over compensate much?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15170057
07/25/2013 10:12 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Have something ready to eat that can wait, even if you buy it, like cold cuts and potato salad, then have a bottle of wine chilled and sit down and visit with her and ask her about her trip. That's all. hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37100605
United States
07/25/2013 10:22 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
You're so dumb

The only reason any woman does that is for some young black cock!

With other girlfriends???
Even worse!

Mandingo Orgies

Better demand she get tested before stepping back in!
90Rocky

User ID: 8027390
United States
07/25/2013 10:24 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Prediction, wife serves OP with divorce papers within a week.
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
07/25/2013 10:54 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
My wife went on vacation to visit some of her girlfriends back where she grew up. She left 2 weeks ago and will be returning this weekend. I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom, doing all the laundry (even the clothes left in the back of the laundry room). When she gets back I want to show her how much I love her and missed her. I was thinking about getting her some flowers and a card. I also want to show her some "special attention" that night fulfilling her needs (she loves oral). So I was wondering what else I should do for her to WOW her. Doesn't need to be sexual just something to show her I care and love her more than she knows. Please help me folks
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


Place a New Jerusalem Calendar on her pillow.

twirl

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25673293
United States
07/25/2013 10:57 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
OP, tell your boyfriend to leave.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42922674


lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25673293
United States
07/25/2013 10:59 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
You're so dumb

The only reason any woman does that is for some young black cock!

With other girlfriends???
Even worse!

Mandingo Orgies

Better demand she get tested before stepping back in!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37100605


^THIS^. Is good advice.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 718510
United States
07/25/2013 11:00 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
My wife went on vacation to visit some of her girlfriends back where she grew up. She left 2 weeks ago and will be returning this weekend. I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom, doing all the laundry (even the clothes left in the back of the laundry room). When she gets back I want to show her how much I love her and missed her. I was thinking about getting her some flowers and a card. I also want to show her some "special attention" that night fulfilling her needs (she loves oral). So I was wondering what else I should do for her to WOW her. Doesn't need to be sexual just something to show her I care and love her more than she knows. Please help me folks
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


Perhaps while doing all the housework, you could find your long-lost missing testicles?

I really think you need them back.

Just sayin'
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35325670
United States
07/25/2013 11:00 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Don't forget to get rid of the dead hooker.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44058621
United States
07/25/2013 11:02 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
aww how cute

buy her a new car
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35233389


I'm broke as of now...no money. :(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


No money? How'd you send your sloppy wife on vacation? Oh, she makes more money than you? How sad.
ar-15 nut

User ID: 44044090
United States
07/25/2013 11:03 PM

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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
Curl up in the fetal position and cry wearing adult diapers
and sing to her ohyeah

A pissed off American veteran!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23750037
Canada
07/25/2013 11:09 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
"My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?"

Kick the prostitutes out for starters.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 38131439
United States
07/25/2013 11:12 PM
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Re: My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?
My wife went on vacation to visit some of her girlfriends back where she grew up. She left 2 weeks ago and will be returning this weekend. I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom, doing all the laundry (even the clothes left in the back of the laundry room). When she gets back I want to show her how much I love her and missed her. I was thinking about getting her some flowers and a card. I also want to show her some "special attention" that night fulfilling her needs (she loves oral). So I was wondering what else I should do for her to WOW her. Doesn't need to be sexual just something to show her I care and love her more than she knows. Please help me folks
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37356622


I know just the thing.

Stick yer finger up her butthole.

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