My wife is returning from vacation, what should I do?

Seriously, who in their right mind allows an American woman to do that while married?
Where did they go?
Lemme guess? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

.02 cents sounds like .02 of a cent... .02 dollars would be two cents though

TOTALLY THIS^^^^^^^^^

You're on the ball, Chinaman.

Get Epsom Salts.

Get some bubble bath sweet smelling stuff.

Get oil or body lotion.



Get Candles

Draw her a bath 2 cups Epson salts.
The Epsom is most important but they like the smell of the other stuff so use that too.

Light the candles.

Take her and bathe her.

Slip out and place a towel in the oven at 180 degrees. for 5 minutes.

When she is done have the towel ready.

Dry her off.

Take her to bed.

Lotion her up and give her a massage not sexual at first.

Work everywhere. Concentrate on her shoulders, middle back, feet, butt and then you can get sexual but take an hour.

See how that goes.

how about a good clubbing for you?

when she comes in hand her a club and say, I really need a clubbing because i am a whiney little bitch, that cleans your house for you while youre off at the orgies for two weeks.

Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you for real?

Your wife goes away for 2 weeks to hang with her girls she grew up with??
Shes honest with you???? she wants to talk for hours????

If we can tell that you're a pussy and are missing 1 1/2 balls , what the fuck do you think she sees, a nice guy?

Ahhh , Hellooooo every guy over the age of 14 knows that nice guys get second hand pum pum .

To save your marriage you have to plant a spent condom
under the bed and a thong that's used (you can get those online) make sure its a woman's one because I am sure she would think you were fucking a guy unless she has proof, otherwise and then she would expect that from you and not give a shit.

After that investigate hormone replacement with your doctor
because you need some male hormones because you seem to be overloaded with estrogen.

Mess up the house and demand that she clean it the day after
(in a nice way of course) Have sex with her with no consideration of her pleasure ( she wont be thinking of you anyway) , and enjoy the fact that while you were being Mr.
PUSSYGOODBOOTS she was probably getting dped and enjoying it.

Good day to you Oh gullible one.

:dubya:

:sheets:

Don't threaten him with fornication with his wife

Dont worry Op her high school boyfriend fulfilled all her needs when she was on vacation... probably just best to let her rest... she will probably be worn out...

You forgot piss all over the toilet and floor.

Make a nice dinner, set the table, candles.

You are being way too extreme. There is no need to put used condoms and wet thongs around the house.

also, no use messing the house up just to clean it again.

It's good to be dominant but not that much of a jerk. There is little point in being an ass about it unless you enjoy disaster.

you will attract a tattoo girl.

'A tattoo girl' ahaha! I tell you fireman, some of your posts really make me laugh - in a good way :)

If a post makes you laugh its well worth it :)

Yep, yep, yep...

After traveling no one wants to cook.

Your flowers, AND all of your fantastic household doings, wine, beer, and food...an awesome "welcome home honey" treat! Good for you!

Glad you're in a happy relationship marriage...may you have many, many years of happiness.

We've been married almost 34 years...since '05, it's been really, really hard living in the uss...I mean...USA...job, house, ugh...but...we're still together. Peace.

learn a song and sing it to her.

pick something heartfelt

her mouth will drop and she'll prolly start cryin

Why didnt you go on a vacation together?
Something isnt on the up and up here OP.

When mine went away for two weeks, I spent my last night of freedom with my tongue buried in a strippers asshole.

unless it's a joke thread to get a stir.....

How can someone have a wife and........This is just not making sense lol.

Surely you would think what she has to do for 2 weeks without you.

If it's real op time for a massive confrontational talk with her soon.

this x2 !!! and op i have a psychology degree and let me tell you something , her behavior means that she has trust issues with you because she fakes it all the time so she expects the same from everyone else! sorry to say htis but she got fucked this two weeks probaly by some ex bf, get her cehcked for stds or divorce her, instead of talking on the phone for hourse why not skype? so you can see whats going on ? or did you call her aat random hours and she pick up imedialty? DONT DO ANYHTING FOR HER , see her reaction , if shes still is horny for you seeing a messy house then shes loyal , but if she would ratehr get mad and nitpick on the small stuff then she got it going on the side!

Holy Fuck!!! You've done enough! She's been off with her friends sucking dicks and getting it up the pooper...and you want to do something nice for her????
Go on your own vacation with your mates and leave her to clean up the motherfucking mess...

A clean house is always a good start...in addition to that get some flowers. Flowers are always a fail safe token of love and appreciation.

Last Edited by CMcC on 07/26/2013 07:08 AM

shit eh?

Ha!

spoken like a true whore

2 questions...

Why does She need a vacation away from You?

What did You spend the money on?

This. Your wife is mentally delayed to think she still needs "girl time" or "me time" or what ever the fuck those poor excuses for wives call it.

Clean the porn history off the computer?