Breaking: Pedestrian walks extra 3.048 metres (10 ft, 1in) to use crosswalk
Yes, this is breaking news where I live.
Goldsream Gazette, Wed 31 July 2013
"Victoria resident Nicole Hatt deliberately decided to use the crosswalk at Government Street and Fort Street instead of jaywalking late Thursday afternoon. The decision added an extra 3.048 metres to her journey.
"Sure, I could have run across the street," admitted Hatt with confidence. "I mean, I'm fit. I'm quick on my feet. I came second in my high school in the 100-metre. But then I thought to myself: why risk it?"
When asked whether her snazzy new cross-trainers were a factor behind her impressive street-crossing performance, Hatt had no comment."
"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free"