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DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots

 
Dilbo Gaggins
User ID: 43409084
United States
08/06/2013 03:44 AM
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DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
***BREAKING NEWS FROM THE AMERICAN DINGLEBERRY***
by- Ehmane R. Tarrde

Good News Everybody!

The DOOM for the next few months has been cancelled as the terrorists/protesters/students in the middle east realize that they are a bunch of idiots being led about by foreign interest groups.

"It's a set up!" Said Havbib Erhsumfisumfin of Yurtikistan (bordering Kazakhstan and Morocco.)

This, unsurprisingly, comes as a great disappointment to many GLPers and sad sacks in general.

The American populace at large polled as follows on the narrowly averted Doomcastrophy

A.) "Bomb them anyway": 32%
B.) "What? I don't watch TV": 15%
C.) "Bomb them twice for wimping out": 4%
D.) "Can't we all get along": Dave. Fucking Dave.
E.) "Give Congress a pay raise": 66%
F.) "Invade Russia": 122% (by belt size)

Many small arms dealers and BIG arms dealers in the region are being adversely influenced.

"I've got all these grenades, but now I need to sell them as Christmas ornaments!" -Apedla O. Dakka (stateless.)

However, hardest hit in the middle east and north african region are the Stupid Pill dealers:

"I have 15 children and 44 wives. Some of them are the same people, but that is still a lot of mouths to feed!" said Adbumumum Ghortiti of Dirgbenibeni (which borders Egypt and Pakistan.)

The growing consensus in the troubled region is "Damned if you do, damned if you don't." While many are frustrated over the fake elections and corrupt leaders, the alternative of another fake election, purge, and corrupt leader seems to be "a bit of a downer."

Our last interview was with Hakuna Matada of Japan (bordering the North African states of Russia and Iceland,)

"I don't get why we were attacking the embassies anyway, I mean, who the hell does that? Idiots, that is who! We always kamikaze the worst places repeatedly and never learn from our mistakes. We were starting to suspect that whoever is organizing us is an idiot and ended up saying 'Cyonara'. I mean, really! The man didn't even know about Google Earth or the internet! Now, who wants some Shwarma?"

There is one god, one people, but a lot of different currencies. God bless and take out loans at high interest rates.

Until next time,

Ehmane R. Tarrde.
Dilbo Gaggins (OP)
User ID: 43409084
United States
08/06/2013 04:30 AM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
iamwith
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31000925
United States
08/06/2013 04:32 AM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots


cruise

DON YOUR ADULT DIAPERS AND PREPARE TO VOMIT IN FEAR....DOOM IS HERE!!!
Dilbo Gaggins (OP)
User ID: 43409084
United States
08/06/2013 06:43 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
Yeah, pretty much.

Pretty funny how the shills avoided this thread like the plague.

I guess rather than debunking they'd rather just have it go away.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44650817
Egypt
08/06/2013 06:50 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
neener scheminglolatu

Thanks for the laugh OP, was needed.
Dilbo Gaggins (OP)
User ID: 43409084
United States
08/06/2013 06:59 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
Anytime.

Humor should be free.

Especially when it is the truth.
Dilbo Gaggins (OP)
User ID: 43409084
United States
08/06/2013 07:46 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
hey guys, how could one go about intellectually subverting the idea of the Mahdi?
SOLO (OP)
User ID: 43409084
United States
08/06/2013 07:52 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
Not saying I'd want to do that, but what would be the general outline/warning signs?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44650817
Egypt
08/06/2013 07:56 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
hey guys, how could one go about intellectually subverting the idea of the Mahdi?
 Quoting: Dilbo Gaggins 43409084


Don't understand that question 100% - but you are funny. You should keep writing more

rockon
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45085574
Egypt
08/13/2013 07:10 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
OP got it right and wherever you are, how about a new piece? You hit the nail on the head and best way to deliver it is with humor.
Éireann
Eisteacht le gra!

User ID: 45015780
United States
08/13/2013 07:18 PM

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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
That's pretty damn funny :D
Éireann~

Eisteacht le gra! ~ArunaLuna (Translation from Gaelic: "Listen to Love!")

"And I sincerely believe, with you, that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies; and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale." - Thomas Jefferson, from a Letter to John Taylor written in 1816

"Unfortunately, it is in the nature of man to tinker - even with immutable truth. Thus, we must be ever vigilant... - James Munford

“It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everybody else, and still unknown to himself.” - Francis Bacon

"Better the illusions that exalt us than ten thousand truths" - Aleksander Pushkin
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I do not give negative Karma. I believe that all opinions are worthy of debate and discussion. Free speech is essential to the growth and advancement of each individual and all of Humankind.
Widespread Franklin

User ID: 25646874
08/13/2013 07:22 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
stoner
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45085574
Egypt
08/13/2013 07:29 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
That's pretty damn funny :D
 Quoting: Éireann


Yes and the truth more or less. I'm glad nothing happened to your Embassies or anything else, but you have to wonder what it was really about. My guess is still the shredders were getting hot in there. Especially in Cairo and Yemen.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45100266
Brazil
08/13/2013 07:50 PM
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Re: DOOM cancelled, terrorists are bunch of idiots
So, have the embassies already opened back?
hiding

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