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19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9384791
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08/06/2013 03:25 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman".

19 Ways to know you're a man:

1) You're an asshole

2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend

3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled.

4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend

5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge

6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves.

7) You need to be told to brush your teeth

8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning

9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation

10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it.

12) You dont communicate your feelings

13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around

14) You snore

15) You hate cats

16) You need someone to budget your money

17) You are impatient

18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life

19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up!



stoner
 Quoting: FooledMeOnce


sounds a whole lot more like a boy than a man. except number 12
FooledMeOnce (OP)
Fandango Stripper

User ID: 858566
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08/06/2013 03:56 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman".
 Quoting: FooledMeOnce


My thread has way more views and replies. Ha ha! Suck it!
 Quoting: DrSalt


Yeah well, look whose feelings are hurt and whose aren't stoner
sigsig3
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08/06/2013 04:02 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
reasons why it's better to be a man
You can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
If you meet a guy who is wearing the same shirt, you might become lifelong friends.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals will never trap you with, "So, notice anything different?"
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
Your same hairstyle lasts for years … maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below the neck.
One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
The world is your urinal.
You can take a leak in the woods without getting your socks wet.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Same work, more pay.
Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
An occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Dry cleaners and barbers don't rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
If you are 35 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. Socks are optional.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You can make decisions without a support group.
You never have strap problems in public.
Other people don't mooch off your dessert.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44034136


yep. That's a typical man for you. lol!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42883034
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08/06/2013 04:04 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
1 way to know youre a fuckin ingrate whore with daddy issues...



Keeps dating assholes
JustThink

User ID: 39410468
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08/06/2013 04:16 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
the one about women was funny. this was just done out of hate.
here are a couple more ways to know you're a woman. You're not funny and you never do anything interesting, but when someone else does, you call them an idiot. well atleast american girls anyways. can't speak for the rest.
FooledMeOnce (OP)
Fandango Stripper

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08/06/2013 04:21 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
the one about women was funny. this was just done out of hate.
here are a couple more ways to know you're a woman. You're not funny and you never do anything interesting, but when someone else does, you call them an idiot. well atleast american girls anyways. can't speak for the rest.
 Quoting: JustThink


No hate here, buddy stoner
sigsig3
Anonymous Coward
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08/06/2013 04:35 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
the one about women was funny. this was just done out of hate.
here are a couple more ways to know you're a woman. You're not funny and you never do anything interesting, but when someone else does, you call them an idiot. well atleast american girls anyways. can't speak for the rest.
 Quoting: JustThink


this thread wasn't even remotely hateful.
there are countless women hating threads on glp.
it is rare to see a thread like this one, even in jest.
even still, some men are too sensitive.
chuckles45

User ID: 2417276
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08/06/2013 04:47 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Don't forget, you don't throw underwear out until it gains another fly!!!

rofl
Idealism is a wonderful thing, as long as you have someone rational to put it to good use.
FooledMeOnce (OP)
Fandango Stripper

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08/06/2013 07:11 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Don't forget, you don't throw underwear out until it gains another fly!!!

rofl
 Quoting: chuckles45


lmfao
sigsig3
Anonymous Coward
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08/06/2013 07:17 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
The other list was way better.
Anonymous Coward
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08/06/2013 07:20 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around

Correct because it takes actual skill for a man to bang lots of women but all a woman has to do is spread her legs and she could have a line of guys ready to bang her. You get no respect because it is so easy for you to get sex.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35219909


Well said.
Astral Goat
From the deep space petting zoo...

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08/06/2013 07:21 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Look at your weiner?


lol
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eekers
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08/06/2013 07:23 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Look at your weiner?


lol
 Quoting: Astral Goat


:lbrador:
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44030829
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08/06/2013 07:27 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Look at your weiner?


lol
 Quoting: Astral Goat


:lbrador:
 Quoting: eekers


Who the hell has a pillow like that laying around?

A trashy whore. Or a really, really, really gay guy.
*Evan

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08/06/2013 07:29 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Look at your weiner?


lol
 Quoting: Astral Goat


:lbrador:
 Quoting: eekers


Who the hell has a pillow like that laying around?

A trashy whore. Or a really, really, really gay guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44030829


1doh1

It's a dog..
Anonymous Coward
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08/06/2013 07:34 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
eekers
GLP Tard

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08/06/2013 07:41 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Look at your weiner?


lol
 Quoting: Astral Goat


:lbrador:
 Quoting: eekers


Who the hell has a pillow like that laying around?

A trashy whore. Or a really, really, really gay guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44030829


LMAO yeah, it's a dog.
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
eekers
GLP Tard

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08/06/2013 07:42 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Look at your weiner?


lol
 Quoting: Astral Goat


:lbrador:
 Quoting: eekers


Who the hell has a pillow like that laying around?

A trashy whore. Or a really, really, really gay guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44030829


1doh1

It's a dog..
 Quoting: *Evan


LMAO some people have such dirty minds!! :)

churchlady
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
*Evan

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08/06/2013 07:44 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
...


:lbrador:
 Quoting: eekers


Who the hell has a pillow like that laying around?

A trashy whore. Or a really, really, really gay guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44030829


1doh1

It's a dog..
 Quoting: *Evan


LMAO some people have such dirty minds!! :)

churchlady
 Quoting: eekers


Oh and yours is sooo squeeky clean isnt it?

tounge
Anonymous Coward
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08/06/2013 07:53 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
My family can't use the microwave without fucking breaking it because they always slam the microwave door, there was a missing chunk of it laying on our counter and it has cracks in it for that reason, which I don't use it anyway but just something I noticed.
Anonymous Coward
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08/06/2013 07:57 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
I must be a woman then because I'm the opposite of all of them alone
FooledMeOnce (OP)
Fandango Stripper

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08/06/2013 07:58 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
lol @ the replies stoner
sigsig3
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08/06/2013 07:58 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Look at your weiner?


lol
 Quoting: Astral Goat


:lbrador:
 Quoting: eekers


Who the hell has a pillow like that laying around?

A trashy whore. Or a really, really, really gay guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44030829


Lol
EngimaticHipster
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08/06/2013 08:00 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
this is how i know a women wrote this, when she tries to think like a man and fails. i didn't even have to look at OP's username to figure it out. also anything i bold i do

I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman".

19 Ways to know you're a man:

1) You're an asshole
- nope i'm a pretty nice person, so are my guy friend it's my chick friends that like being bitchy

2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend
-i'm the person always on time she's the late one

3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled.
- i think i before i talk, never threw a hissy fit unless someone pesters me

4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend
- i don't spend a dime, she's the one always wanting me to take her shopping

5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge

6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves.
- i do the laundry because women belong in the kitchen

7) You need to be told to brush your teeth
- first thing i do before i wake up after i take a crap and shower

8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning
- i have to force my sister and mom out of bed, only person who can wake me up earlier than necessary is my dad

9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation
-i like my current gf for this, she can hold down a convo better than me and i respect her for that

10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it.
- lol i don't even have to wipe. i bought one of those toilet squatters and my ass is always spotless and if by some slim chance there is a particle of shit on my bum i take a shower

12) You dont communicate your feelings
-talk about my feeling in which way? i talk about things that matter.

13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around
-yes because lets face girls have that power, they control it. a girl can choose any man she wants to sleep with guy doesn't have this power they usually have to pick someone subpar. that is why you see fat or ugly sluts but you never ever see fat or ugly studs

14) You snore
- only when i'm sick

15) You hate cats
-they all right, but i will pick a dog over a cat any day.

16) You need someone to budget your money
- u fucking wut, i manage everybody else's fucking money. i have an excel spread sheet focusing my budgets and expenses

17) You are impatient
-pretty patient person, i rarely get mad. but for my sister it's the other way around. she want's to have her cake and someone else's and eat both at the same time. lil bitch

18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life
-nope i help everybody from the goodness of my heart. need me to drive you to work? no problem i gotch'u

19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up!




stoner
 Quoting: FooledMeOnce
*Evan

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08/06/2013 08:01 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
lol @ the replies stoner
 Quoting: FooledMeOnce


Some people are ultra sensitive
eekers
GLP Tard

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08/06/2013 09:14 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
...


Who the hell has a pillow like that laying around?

A trashy whore. Or a really, really, really gay guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44030829


1doh1

It's a dog..
 Quoting: *Evan


LMAO some people have such dirty minds!! :)

churchlady
 Quoting: eekers


Oh and yours is sooo squeeky clean isnt it?

tounge
 Quoting: *Evan

lmaolmaolmao
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
FooledMeOnce (OP)
Fandango Stripper

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08/06/2013 09:16 PM

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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
lol @ the replies stoner
 Quoting: FooledMeOnce


Some people are ultra sensitive
 Quoting: *Evan


Indeed. Usually the men... not in your case lol21
sigsig3
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08/06/2013 09:17 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
Look at your weiner?


lol
 Quoting: Astral Goat


:lbrador:
 Quoting: eekers



Cute doggie.
Anonymous Coward
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08/06/2013 09:32 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man
13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around

Correct because it takes actual skill for a man to bang lots of women
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35219909


Lol, are you knew to this planet?

Women want sex too moron.
Angelic_Warrior

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08/06/2013 09:37 PM
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Re: 19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man



Gee Dr. ever consider being a marriage counselor?

You have a gift applause
But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
I Corinthians 2:14

God doesn't choose favorites.. They choose HIM

It is not the greatness of my faith that moves mountains but my faith in the greatness of God

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