19 Ways To KNOW You're A Man | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 44034136 United States 08/06/2013 01:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 41239039 United States 08/06/2013 01:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
MaybeTrollingU User ID: 18166368 Brazil 08/06/2013 01:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman". Quoting: FooledMeOnce 19 Ways to know you're a man: 1) You're an asshole 2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend 3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled. 4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend 5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge 6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves. 7) You need to be told to brush your teeth 8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning 9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation 10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it. 12) You dont communicate your feelings 13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around 14) You snore 15) You hate cats 16) You need someone to budget your money 17) You are impatient 18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life 19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up! Injustice! I don't hate cats! |
eekers Dreamer of Dreams User ID: 38137469 United States 08/06/2013 01:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 44034136 United States 08/06/2013 01:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If you meet a guy who is wearing the same shirt, you might become lifelong friends. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Your pals will never trap you with, "So, notice anything different?" You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. Your same hairstyle lasts for years … maybe decades. You don't have to shave below the neck. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. You can do your nails with a pocketknife. The world is your urinal. You can take a leak in the woods without getting your socks wet. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky. Car mechanics tell you the truth. Same work, more pay. Gray hair and wrinkles add character. Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100. An occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood, ALL the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Dry cleaners and barbers don't rob you blind. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. If you are 35 and single, nobody notices. Everything on your face stays its original color. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. Socks are optional. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me." You can make decisions without a support group. You never have strap problems in public. Other people don't mooch off your dessert. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. |
Molon Labe 2013 User ID: 30407302 United States 08/06/2013 01:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Crock User ID: 44629371 United States 08/06/2013 01:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 9007345 United States 08/06/2013 01:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 20. You get moody and depressed if your favorite sports team losses and snap at everyone around you. 21. You think taking out the garbage is the chore that makes up for all the other chores you don't do. And you want to be thanked profusely for doing it. 22. You fart under the covers. 23. You fart in the car and pick your nose there too. 24. Your insecure about your performance in bed and always want to have your woman tell you it was the best she ever had. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 35219909 United States 08/06/2013 01:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around Correct because it takes actual skill for a man to bang lots of women but all a woman has to do is spread her legs and she could have a line of guys ready to bang her. You get no respect because it is so easy for you to get sex. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 41239039 United States 08/06/2013 01:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 20. You get moody and depressed if your favorite sports team losses and snap at everyone around you. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9007345 21. You think taking out the garbage is the chore that makes up for all the other chores you don't do. And you want to be thanked profusely for doing it. 22. You fart under the covers. 23. You fart in the car and pick your nose there too. 24. Your insecure about your performance in bed and always want to have your woman tell you it was the best she ever had. What's the difference between the words "losses" and "loses"? Do you know? What's the difference between the words "your" and "you're"? Do you know? |
Dr. Acula Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 281165 United States 08/06/2013 02:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 41239039 United States 08/06/2013 02:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 1) You're an asshole Yeah, and you love it. 2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend Late because we were buying a gift that she ends up not wanting and being a bitch about. See No. 4. 3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled. Hey now! Fox's time-travel killer dinosaur sci-fi series 'Terra Nova' was bad ass! Those bastards cancelled that shit! 4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend Ungrateful bitch! 5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge No. We expect you to go buy some with the fuckin' money we make and give you to go buy some damn food. 6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves. That's right. Women and fags do dishes and laundry. Duh. 7) You need to be told to brush your teeth That's ridiculous. Coca-Cola cleans teeth. 8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning That's silly. We get up and follow that jiggle ass of yours into the shower. 9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation She need not be able to hold a conversation. Just don't talk about dumb shit. 10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it. You ladies use twice as much paper by wadding. THAT'S what clogs the pipes. 12) You dont communicate your feelings Yes we do. Contempt. Ridicule. Dissatisfaction. Humor. Pride. Lust. Arrogance. Hubris. 13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around Girls are mothers or mothers-to-be. We don't want our progeny coming out of a snatchy cunt. See here: Thread: Women absorb and carry living DNA and cells from every male they have sexual intercouse with 14) You snore Like a manly beast, baby! RAWR! 15) You hate cats No we don't. We hate boxes of their shit in the fuckin' house. 16) You need someone to budget your money Only after you get done pillaging the bank account shopping for dumb horseshit you don't need because "It was on sale..." 17) You are impatient Life's short, honey. Let's go already! 18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life No no. Not one good deed. One legendary, historic, GREAT deed. 19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up! So not true. The microwave is the one device in the kitchen we are masters with. |
eekers Dreamer of Dreams User ID: 38137469 United States 08/06/2013 02:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
FooledMeOnce (OP) User ID: 858566 Canada 08/06/2013 02:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
BRIEF User ID: 381742 United States 08/06/2013 02:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman". Quoting: FooledMeOnce 19 Ways to know you're a man: 1) You're an asshole 2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend 3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled. 4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend 5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge 6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves. 7) You need to be told to brush your teeth 8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning 9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation 10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it. 12) You dont communicate your feelings 13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around 14) You snore 15) You hate cats 16) You need someone to budget your money 17) You are impatient 18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life 19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up! Injustice! I don't hate cats! I do, but I can budget money... I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 36370061 Canada 08/06/2013 02:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Dr. Acula Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 281165 United States 08/06/2013 02:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman". Quoting: FooledMeOnce 19 Ways to know you're a man: 1) You're an asshole 2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend 3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled. 4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend 5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge 6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves. 7) You need to be told to brush your teeth 8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning 9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation 10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it. 12) You dont communicate your feelings 13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around 14) You snore 15) You hate cats 16) You need someone to budget your money 17) You are impatient 18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life 19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up! well i could break this list down like i did in the other thread. but it would be easier to just say it once... If a "man" is having these issues... he needs to: :growthefuckup: _______________________ |
FooledMeOnce (OP) User ID: 859301 Canada 08/06/2013 02:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman". Quoting: FooledMeOnce 19 Ways to know you're a man: 1) You're an asshole 2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend 3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled. 4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend 5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge 6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves. 7) You need to be told to brush your teeth 8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning 9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation 10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it. 12) You dont communicate your feelings 13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around 14) You snore 15) You hate cats 16) You need someone to budget your money 17) You are impatient 18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life 19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up! well i could break this list down like i did in the other thread. but it would be easier to just say it once... If a "man" is having these issues... he needs to: :growthefuckup: :smokin1: |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 41239039 United States 08/06/2013 02:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
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eekers Dreamer of Dreams User ID: 38137469 United States 08/06/2013 02:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
*Evan User ID: 43993722 United States 08/06/2013 03:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 41239039 United States 08/06/2013 03:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
BadMoonRisen User ID: 42411020 United Kingdom 08/06/2013 03:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I qualify for # 12 and 14 Does that make me a wimp? If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. [link to www.inmomsbasement.com] The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 44335700 United States 08/06/2013 03:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 23182404 United States 08/06/2013 03:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman". Quoting: FooledMeOnce 19 Ways to know you're a man: 1) You're an asshole 2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend 3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled. 4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend 5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge 6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves. 7) You need to be told to brush your teeth 8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning 9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation 10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it. 12) You dont communicate your feelings 13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around 14) You snore 15) You hate cats 16) You need someone to budget your money 17) You are impatient 18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life 19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up! There is no man that has the above issues. Any male human that does have issues as listed above are either a boy (child) or a eunuch because he's been castrated by his wife or girlfriend. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 41461174 Canada 08/06/2013 03:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 33435073 United States 08/06/2013 03:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I made this as a joke in response to DrSalt's "19 Ways to know you're a woman". Quoting: FooledMeOnce 19 Ways to know you're a man: 1) You're an asshole 2) You're always late picking up your girlfriend 3) You throw a temper tantrum over something really small, like your favourite TV show is cancelled. 4) You buy your gf gifts she doesn't want and then you complain about how much you spend 5) You expect food to magically appear in the fridge 6) You don't do dishes or laundry - because they'll clean themselves. 7) You need to be told to brush your teeth 8) You need to be forced out of bed in the morning 9) You say women are only good for one thing but you also expect a girlfriend who can hold a conversation 10) You fold the toilet paper, leaving it to clog the toiled - then you complain when you have to plunge it. 12) You dont communicate your feelings 13) You think girls are sluts for having sex, yet it's acceptable for males to sleep around 14) You snore 15) You hate cats 16) You need someone to budget your money 17) You are impatient 18) You do one good deed and expect to be rewarded for the rest of your life 19) You can't use the microwave without blowing it up! sofunny!!!!! :cruiser: |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 33435073 United States 08/06/2013 03:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |