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My wife constantly farts

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 899094
Canada
08/13/2013 10:48 AM
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My wife constantly farts
She is driving me crazy. , wtf do i do?
CrazyMama73

User ID: 34435863
Canada
08/13/2013 10:56 AM

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Re: My wife constantly farts
Be a good husband and have a farting contest with her, so she feels more comfortable.

Suggest that the both of you eat alternative foods that are not so gassy. Stay away from cabbage, peppers, beans, ect. lol

If she is pregnant, well, you can't help it. Hormones and everything being squished will cause a lot more gas.. no control of that.

Be happy you have a woman who is comfortable enough with you to be able to fart in front of you. Sounds to me like she isn't a prude, but a decent human being.
CrazyMama73
g3p0

User ID: 12763257
United States
08/13/2013 10:56 AM

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Re: My wife constantly farts
Get her good while you're in bed under cover and she's spooning up behind you OP.
God is everything, everything is the universe, the universe is alive, we're a part of it, reflections of God.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42370202
Sweden
08/13/2013 10:56 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
Collect the gas and use it to heat your home.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39188864
United States
08/13/2013 11:00 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
Did you tell her to stop?
Korats01

User ID: 39071320
United States
08/13/2013 11:00 AM

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Re: My wife constantly farts
Batman too

batfart1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35997780
United States
08/13/2013 11:01 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
She is driving me crazy. , wtf do i do?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 899094


What are you feeding her ! ! ! ?
ar-15 nut

User ID: 44044090
United States
08/13/2013 11:01 AM

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Re: My wife constantly farts
Beno.
A pissed off American veteran!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1234346
United States
08/13/2013 11:03 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
fart back!!!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 899094
Canada
08/13/2013 11:04 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
It started this morning . No let up for 3-4 hrs...

Thx for the advice gang
I will show her this trhead to embarass her
sunspotkiller

User ID: 1332188
United States
08/13/2013 11:05 AM

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Re: My wife constantly farts
She is driving me crazy. , wtf do i do?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 899094


Time for some backdoor action
sunspotkiller

When you judge someone else, It doesn't define who they are, It defines who you are. Be love!

“Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.”
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 41542826
United States
08/13/2013 11:05 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
Collect the gas and use it to heat your home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42370202


cruise
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 899094
Canada
08/13/2013 11:08 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
I just locked myself in the toilet... She went apeshit that i posted this ...

She thinks that you guys know me lol
CrazyMama73

User ID: 34435863
Canada
08/13/2013 11:10 AM

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Re: My wife constantly farts
I just locked myself in the toilet... She went apeshit that i posted this ...

She thinks that you guys know me lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 899094



You just opened up pandoras box... nothing like a woman scorned to fuck with you lol. Don't be surprised if she posts something on Facebook, or other social network about you now.
CrazyMama73
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44251351
United States
08/13/2013 11:11 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
I just locked myself in the toilet... She went apeshit that i posted this ...

She thinks that you guys know me lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 899094


But we DO know you....O_o DUN dun duuun!

Sike. Give her a dutch oven one night, and say "Now the tables have turned muahahaha!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35997780
United States
08/13/2013 11:17 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
Be a good husband and have a farting contest with her, so she feels more comfortable.

Suggest that the both of you eat alternative foods that are not so gassy. Stay away from cabbage, peppers, beans, ect. lol

If she is pregnant, well, you can't help it. Hormones and everything being squished will cause a lot more gas.. no control of that.

Be happy you have a woman who is comfortable enough with you to be able to fart in front of you. Sounds to me like she isn't a prude, but a decent human being.
 Quoting: CrazyMama73


For normal people:

not eating "cabbage, peppers, beans, ect."
on a daily basis, will cause chronic gas.

You need (daily) rough, fiber foods to scrub the walls of the intestines to keep off the sludge build-up.

Drinking large amounts of hard-liquor alcohol, however, can cause extreme gas, because of its effect on the liver.

Chronic constipation can cause chronic gas.

Not getting enough fluids can cause gas.

A heavy diet of red meat can cause gas.

Never eating raw foods can cause gas.

Some medications can cause gas.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 899094
Canada
08/13/2013 11:19 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
Well we did eat tenderloin shish kabobs yesterdy..
She also made a tomato cuke salad with loads of basil...

Them italians ...and there basil...
eddy

User ID: 21052064
United States
08/13/2013 11:24 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
I just read that if you add one drop of peppermint essential oil to glass of water and drink it the flatulance will be smelling like toothpaste or slightly minty.

Also, lactose intolerance possible, or too many carbs?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35997780
United States
08/13/2013 11:31 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
I just locked myself in the toilet... She went apeshit that i posted this ...

She thinks that you guys know me lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 899094


i think ihave found the problem:

she doesnot know how to properly poop.

Instead of running to the bathroom upon what is called "first urge", she "HOLDS" it, and finally goes to the bathroom, when itis convenient for her, not her body's calls.

In other words she is holding it until the turd is sticking in her rectum, where it sets up an irritation, causing the poor, irritated rectum to start a stink by screaming for mercy, thus forcing her to the bathroom.

In other words

she is hoarding turds, and they are crowding/packing-up at the exit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45078230
United Kingdom
08/13/2013 11:36 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
Fucking too much information on this thread.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16591630
United States
08/13/2013 11:37 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
take her to midas
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35997780
United States
08/13/2013 11:42 AM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
I just locked myself in the toilet... She went apeshit that i posted this ...

She thinks that you guys know me lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 899094


i think ihave found the problem:

she doesnot know how to properly poop.

Instead of running to the bathroom upon what is called "first urge", she "HOLDS" it, and finally goes to the bathroom, when itis convenient for her, not her body's calls.

In other words she is holding it until the turd is sticking in her rectum, where it sets up an irritation, causing the poor, irritated rectum to start a stink by screaming for mercy, thus forcing her to the bathroom.

In other words

she is hoarding turds, and they are crowding/packing-up at the exit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35997780


here is the cure for the problem:

Get a couple of these (following link), and have one in the bathroom that you set out w/pager etc, into the hallway everytime you go into the bathroom, and/or put one in the bedroom.
[link to images.search.yahoo.com]
[link to images.search.yahoo.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35997780
United States
08/13/2013 12:00 PM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
Fucking too much information on this thread.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45078230


you havenot seen the half of it, yet1rof1

flip

[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45038596
Finland
08/13/2013 12:01 PM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
She is driving me crazy. , wtf do i do?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 899094


Does that excite you?
aqmah

User ID: 2944501
United Arab Emirates
08/13/2013 12:02 PM

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Re: My wife constantly farts
shes human!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hiding
terrorista

User ID: 31189143
Canada
08/13/2013 12:05 PM

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Re: My wife constantly farts
humans fart get over it ..you loser forum distractor.
Eagle # 1
User ID: 44766343
United States
08/13/2013 12:08 PM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
BASIC CAUSE IS ... NOT emptying bowels regularly, along with certain foods, depending on individual and amount ! Whole grain bread does it for most, and cabbage, BEANS and other foods.

Eagle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45040260
Italy
08/13/2013 12:09 PM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
She's enganging in anal sex with a guy much bigger than you. Clearly her anal muscles are relaxed to the max hence the farting.
Dogfood

User ID: 8490939
United States
08/13/2013 12:11 PM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
lmao

she prolly holds it in, and does a slow release

SBD!!ahhh
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35997780
United States
08/13/2013 12:17 PM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
BASIC CAUSE IS ... NOT emptying bowels regularly, along with certain foods, depending on individual and amount ! Whole grain bread does it for most, and cabbage, BEANS and other foods.

Eagle
 Quoting: Eagle # 1 44766343


wrong

Basic cause is OP

notice how hehas suddenly disappeared?

After breakfast, every morning, he smells her "first urge" call, and at the right moment runs for the bathroom so that she cannot get in there, thus she has learned to hold it until whatever. Fkr knows this can cause rectal cancer.

Remember the fkr that at the last moment wouldnot take his wife to the lake, after she had invested in the trip from her own job?- and took pictures of her acting out, and put them here?- well this OP is doing the same sort of thing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35997780
United States
08/13/2013 12:24 PM
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Re: My wife constantly farts
BASIC CAUSE IS ... NOT emptying bowels regularly, along with certain foods, depending on individual and amount ! Whole grain bread does it for most, and cabbage, BEANS and other foods.

Eagle
 Quoting: Eagle # 1 44766343


wrong

Basic cause is OP

notice how hehas suddenly disappeared?

After breakfast, every morning, he smells her "first urge" call, and at the right moment runs for the bathroom so that she cannot get in there, thus she has learned to hold it until whatever. Fkr knows this can cause rectal cancer.

Remember the fkr that at the last moment wouldnot take his wife to the lake, after she had invested in the trip from her own job?- and took pictures of her acting out, and put them here?- well this OP is doing the same sort of thing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35997780


this thread should be pinned so that women can learn the ways men get rid of their unwanted, "used-up" victims, called "wives".

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