i don't know if any of you guys got tips for me...

about 6 months ago i started having anger issues after waking up in the moring. it got me wooried and i did the most stupid thing... i went to public hospital, they kept me there for a week and did bloodtest as well as EGG test. When i left the hospital My psychiatrist suggest me to try anti-psychotic drugs. i told him NO! but he insisted that i give it a try for 6 weeks at a very low dosage...

After 3 weeks i called him and told him that im stoping because i don't like what this anti-psychotic crap is doing to me. (i didn't told him my spiritual experiances, he would mark me as schzophrenic.)

the first day i took "AriPiPrazole" I just kept seeing white ripples in my vision, along with the usal purple,blue circular haze.

as i took the pills my freinds remarked a 400% boost in happyness.

When i stoped. BAM, Massive depression!

Right before this i had a dream in which my godess or spiritual guardian was lending her hand to try and catch me from falling down, we were both crying..
Then in a sudden the fallowing dreams are uter nonsense.

i felt ive lost something. The anger issues came back along with sadness. 1 month later, i had a dream in which 5 indian like diety came to me and told me "Everything is illusion".
I replied, off course, i know that! But,still why what we percive as reality seem so far disconected from anything we can experiance on the spiritual, astral and dream front?

Why the matter on "reality" is just that much resiliant to our thoughts?

After that a small draconic worm jumped in my face and i felt the "kundalini" Blue light. I had a massive ripple vision above everything i was seeing, like if all i was seeing was vibrations!

Later on, i asked help from an esoteric healer...she sees and talks to angels.

Which made me doubt for a sec, but went on anyway, i was tired of suffering these anger issues. She told me she removed a "Demon" from my spine that was there ever since i was 4 years old...Then she moved on to purify the home.


Here's the killer for me... After that 5 weeks passed to this day. The first week was only frigin nightmares.
The dreams i have been having ever since Uterly confuse me!
As i reconise my body,my thoughts,my intuition but when i dream i reconise nothing at all of my being... On top of that i seems to have lost all abilities i did intuitivly during dreams!

I don't know if she really helped me, but now im a mess inside myself! I try to look inside, but i can't find shit and feel betrayed somehow.