What's the best joke you've ever heard?

Why isn't there gambling in the jungle?

TOO MANY CHEETAS!!!

Hahahaahhahahahah.

They hate us for our freedom.

Pressure Cooker Terrorists.

LMAO...good one!

Ladies and gentlement, our newly elected president, Barack Obama!!

What is a Hooker with a runny nose called?...Full

what do you get when you cross a mexican and an african american (PC Police)?










A lawn mower that doesn't work.

Bahaha

How do you use a rubber twice?
You shake the fuck out of it.

What did the buddest say to the hot dog vendor?
One with everthing.

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender notices this big steering wheel sticking out of the front side of the pirate's pants. He says "Hay man isn't that uncomfortable?" And the pirate replies, "ARRRR! It's drivin' me nuts!"

There was once a road named Chuck Norris, but the name was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives..

Ask a wise guy/gal IF they EVER figured out WHY the asylum NEVER reported them missing !

My father used to say when the chimes are ringing on the ice cream truck, they're out of ice cream!

A biker gang was going across a bridge when the leader seen a girl standing on the guard rail. He pulled over and and the rest did too. He asked what she was doing, she said "Im going to kill myself". He replied "Ok, its a free country...do what you want" he sat there for a moment and said "well, if your going to kill yourself, why dont you suck me off first?" She thought about it, climbed down and started sucking him off. After she finished she climbed back up. Then he said "Hey, why not suck all my buddies off too?" She thought about it...climbed down and sucked off everyone else. When she was done she climbed back up and was about to jump when the leader asked "Why is a pretty girl like you that can suck dick so good going to kill yourself?" She replied "Because my parents cant accept that I dress like a girl"

Did you hear about the man who went to the doctor and asked him for advice on how to improve his sex life?

The doctor told him to jog ten miles a day, for seven days. Then call him. A week later, the man telephoned.

"Well," asked the doctor, "Has jogging improved your sex life?"

"I don't know," said the man. "I'm seventy miles from home."

When is bedtime in Neverland?


When the big hand touches the little hand.

What is BIG and PURPLE and plays in the ocean?


Moby Grape

we're from the Govt and we're here to help

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.




How do you get him down?

Tell a bunch of Mexican kids he's a piñata.

Lol

The one that got my old username banned.

an elderly man and his wife went on a trip to israel. his wife fell ill and died. when he went to the funeral home, he was told that it would cost $5000 to ship her to their homeland or $150 to bury her in the holy land. the man chose to ship her back home for burial. the funeral director was surprised. he asked, 'why do you want to spend all that money to send her back home when she can be buried here for only $150 in the holy land?' the man then said, 'well, i heard that a famous guy that was crucified 2000 years ago resurrected 3 days later. i don't want that to happen to my wife.'

"Stick a pencil in Grandma's ear and see if she gets the point."

Hope and Change

Dad, why are they always out of ice cream when they get to OUR neighborhood

That's pretty funny lol

What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do?














Lays awake all night wondering if there is a dog!

We Have to Pass the Bill So That You Can Find Out What Is In It