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| 06:57 PM | ||
| Users Online Now: 2,433 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 1,174,583 | |
| Pageviews Today: 1,961,421 | Threads Today: 810 | Posts Today: 14,038 |
| 06:57 PM | ||
What's the best joke you've ever heard? | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 7075437  United States08/21/2013 12:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Person445 (OP) User ID: 41756472  Canada08/21/2013 12:36 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 45491886  Australia08/21/2013 12:36 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | An old married couple who are too old for sex still like to enjoy eachother by sitting together on the sofa and holding eachothers genitals. One day the wife comes home from bingo and finds the husband on the sofa with another old lady, genitals in hand. Furios, she screams "What's she got that I haven't got?!" ... "Parkinsons" |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 45470589 United States08/21/2013 12:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 7075437 United States08/21/2013 12:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Person445 (OP) User ID: 41756472 Canada08/21/2013 12:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'll start it off with one of my favorites: Quoting: Person445 The first time I had sex was a frightening experience... it was dark and I was all alone You know who it came from, right?  Yes I know that. Did you hear about the man who went to the doctor and asked him for advice on how to improve his sex life? Quoting: Kinga The doctor told him to jog ten miles a day, for seven days. Then call him. A week later, the man telephoned. "Well," asked the doctor, "Has jogging improved your sex life?" "I don't know," said the man. "I'm seventy miles from home."  This one's also from Dangerfield Last Edited by Person445 on 08/21/2013 12:39 AM Follow me on Twitter: @RussellScott202 |
| In bed with wife User ID: 23685938 United States08/21/2013 12:41 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Turtle joke was the absolute best... But On a Florida beach, a black man, a Mexican and a white man were walking when they discovered (and rubbed) what turned out to be a magic lamp. The genie, which appeared, agreed to grant them each one wish. Being pc, the genie had the black man go first. "All I want is for my people, all of them, to be back in Africa, rich and happy." Done said the genie and 'poof' the black man disappeared. Next was the Mexican's turn. "All I want" he said "is for my people to be back in Mexico, rich and Happy". And 'poof', the he disappeared. "OK," said the genie to the white man, "it's your turn". "Let me get this straight," he replied. "All the African Americans are back in Africa?" "Yes." said the genie. "And all of the Mexicans are back in Mexico?" "Yes." said the genie. The white man thought for a moment and replied... "I'll have a Coke." |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 7075437 United States08/21/2013 12:46 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Turtle joke was the absolute best... But Quoting: In bed with wife 23685938 On a Florida beach, a black man, a Mexican and a white man were walking when they discovered (and rubbed) what turned out to be a magic lamp. The genie, which appeared, agreed to grant them each one wish. Being pc, the genie had the black man go first. "All I want is for my people, all of them, to be back in Africa, rich and happy." Done said the genie and 'poof' the black man disappeared. Next was the Mexican's turn. "All I want" he said "is for my people to be back in Mexico, rich and Happy". And 'poof', the he disappeared. "OK," said the genie to the white man, "it's your turn". "Let me get this straight," he replied. "All the African Americans are back in Africa?" "Yes." said the genie. "And all of the Mexicans are back in Mexico?" "Yes." said the genie. The white man thought for a moment and replied... "I'll have a Coke." ^This Gotta love boondock saints |
| In bed with wife User ID: 23685938 United States08/21/2013 12:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Turtle joke was the absolute best... But Quoting: In bed with wife 23685938 On a Florida beach, a black man, a Mexican and a white man were walking when they discovered (and rubbed) what turned out to be a magic lamp. The genie, which appeared, agreed to grant them each one wish. Being pc, the genie had the black man go first. "All I want is for my people, all of them, to be back in Africa, rich and happy." Done said the genie and 'poof' the black man disappeared. Next was the Mexican's turn. "All I want" he said "is for my people to be back in Mexico, rich and Happy". And 'poof', the he disappeared. "OK," said the genie to the white man, "it's your turn". "Let me get this straight," he replied. "All the African Americans are back in Africa?" "Yes." said the genie. "And all of the Mexicans are back in Mexico?" "Yes." said the genie. The white man thought for a moment and replied... "I'll have a Coke." ^This Gotta love boondock saints Sorry for not footnoting... Knew I shouda  Do luv them saints |
| Interested_1 User ID: 30318195 United States08/21/2013 01:06 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 33435073 United States08/21/2013 01:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 13927506 United States08/21/2013 01:15 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 42309393 Australia08/21/2013 01:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 42309393 Australia08/21/2013 01:46 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Two lions are walking single file through the jungle, every couple of minutes with a big slurp the one at the back licks the others ass,when he turns around and says "will you stop doing that its getting annoying" the other replied "sorry mate I just swallowed a pom and im trying to get the taste outta my mouth" |
| Stink Finger User ID: 11514741 United States08/21/2013 01:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Do not click if your easily offended. Funny as hell to me! Not sure how to embed a you tube video. [youtube] [link to m.youtube.com] It represents my belief in personal freedom and my sense of individuality. What is this! Shitload of mashed potatoes day? |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 45019828 United States08/21/2013 02:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Footballwife User ID: 18825272 United States08/21/2013 03:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Then she took her pants... wishy washy wishy washy. Looks clean feels clean, sniff smells clean. Then she took her underpants... wishy washy wishy washy. Looks clean feels clean SNIFF!!! Ummm... wishy washy wishy washy!!!!!!! Southern Born and Southern Bred and when I'm gone I'll be Southern Dead. |
| deathpossum User ID: 13632005 United States08/21/2013 11:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: deathpossum I got creamed by an ambulance in front of that place on my bike one night in Jan 2001. Honestly, I was going to cafe Abir to study for CCSF and just got flattened...got free drinks there for the longest time since they all betted I was dead. The garten was the bomb for sure! there used to be a string with a bell on the wall - ring to get weed from a guy living upstairs - he would lower it down in a basket LOL! That doesn't surprise me. I didn't go there much in the day...was on a moto trip in 2007 and managed to have a few on Duc bike night. I was glad to see some things stay the same in SF. A funny bit of trivia for you - The owner of Zeitgeist is also the owner of The Rainbow Cattle Company in Guerneville in Sonoma - definitely NOT a biker bar or a cowboy bar...;) I am Jack's complete lack of surprise...it's obviously a benefit being across from Monroe Motors and the best bike shop Scuderia....Just like the coffee mafia owns all the shops on the Haight ;) Edit for SF being the most superficial city I have lived in...but fun times anyways :D Edit again to say that the true SF natives are the most genuine peeps ever. My preggers girlfriend born and raised on the haight is the most awesome honest and true girl I have ever been with... Last Edited by DeathPossum on 08/22/2013 12:03 AM [Your rights are] "wherever we're willing to draw a line and say 'you cannot come across this line or I'll kill you.' That's where our rights are. If you don't understand that, folks, then it's beyond my capability to explain it to you. They will get away with whatever you let them get away with. And until you draw the line and you're willing to die for what you believe in, they will keep taking and taking and taking and taking, until there is no more left to take. Then, it's all gone, and you're a slave." -bill cooper |
| Rev StarGazer User ID: 37891955 United States08/22/2013 03:53 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If you get married in Arkansas have children in Oklahoma and get divorced in Texas are you still brother and sister? “If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.” Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace "But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8 "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson revstargazer (at) hotmail.com |
